


A Pinch of Salt, A Dash of Magic

by Kgfinkel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, F/M, Food, Gen, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Molly Weasley Bashing, Recipes, Ron Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 138,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kgfinkel/pseuds/Kgfinkel
Summary: 'Food has a magical quality of its own' so Harry thought. So what might happen when he finds out that magic is real and that hearts and minds can be adjusted by serving the perfect dish?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 130
Kudos: 432





	1. Catch of the Day

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the last of the stories under the Crafting Magic umbrella. All the recipes referenced in this story are real and can be found on Google, Yummly, Pinterest or your favorite recipe site. The campground is fictional because 'why not?'
> 
> The chapter title is, "Catch of the Day."

**Chapter 1: Catch of the Day**

**4 Privet Drive, Surrey, England; absurdly early in the morning June 1989**

"Harry," _nudge_ "Harry, wake up. It's time to get going."

"Ugh…" Harry Potter age 9; cracked his eyes open and blearily glared at his uncle who loomed over him.

"I know but if we're going to get a good camping spot, I want to get going early," Vernon said and clapped his hands before heading out of the room. He grinned evilly and flicked on the lights and chuckled at the growling sound emanating from his wife's nephew.

Harry finally grumbled once more and flipped the covers off and dragged himself into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Once that was done, he got dressed in the clothes his aunt put out for him the night before.

* * *

Vernon Dursley got the rest of his herd loaded into the car and started driving down the street. It was still dark out so the lights of the car stabbed outwards like glowing swords. They drove onto the M3 towards the Cornwall coastline. Traffic was light, especially this early in the morning and eventually they switched over to the A303. Dudley started whining about being hungry and Aunt Petunia was starting to murmur about needing a cup of tea.

"Harry, where'd you put the hamper?" Petunia asked.

Harry craned his neck around to check in the boot and spotted the hamper of food that he'd made beforehand and tried to reach for it.

"It's stuck in the boot next to Dudley's sleeping bag. I can't reach it from here."

"I'll be pulling over to a rest stop shortly, you can get it out then," Vernon informed them.

* * *

They pulled into a bus stop near the junction of the A303 and M5 in Exeter to allow everyone to stretch their legs and visit the loo. By the time Petunia came back escorting Dudley, Harry had the hamper unloaded and set up for a quick meal. He opened up a package of leftover fried chicken that they'd had the night before. He sliced it up and put it aside as he removed a small tub of yogurt, a small lime and clove of garlic and some salt and pepper.

"A bit more of salt, a bit of pepper now that I think about it. Where'd I put my mint leaves?" He dug around the bottom and found the baggie with the mint leaves. Vernon was busy looking over the map while Dudley and Petunia watched Harry slice, dice and grind the ingredients together in a small mortar and pestle that was a previous birthday gift from his cousin. He added the yogurt and tasted it, nodding his acceptance.

Next up was four flatbreads he'd baked earlier in the week. A slathering of the lime crème yogurt sauce, a couple of fried chicken strips and a small handful of chopped romaine lettuce leaves finished off their breakfasts. They each took a napkin and chowed down, the sounds of pleasure evident from the grunting noise that Dudley was making.

"Shame that I didn't think to bring the cherry tomatoes, they would've made a nice burst." Harry commented idly as he chewed.

"It's just fine for the short time we're here. I am curious as to why you didn't make the sauce beforehand as well?" Petunia reassured him.

Harry shrugged and muttered something about forgetting to do so during the madness to pack the night before. They threw away their trash and repacked the boot before continuing their journey.

* * *

**Wolf's Bay Campground**

After another couple of hours, the tired travelers arrived at the coast and their campground. Vernon admonished the boys not to wander too far then began getting the trailer unhooked and set up. He and Petunia would be sleeping in there while the boys would be sharing a tent. Petunia went in search of the reception center to see about sightseeing opportunities. Dudley grabbed the tent and his sleeping bag so he could at least help out his dad. Harry went foraging around the campsite, he wouldn't be taking anything but it was still interesting to look at.

"Harry! Harry, I need your help to set up the tent!" Dudley yelled out not five minutes later. After a few false starts, the two boys managed to get the poles assembled and fed through the nylon guides attached to the tent material. Vernon watched on in pride at how well they were working together, offering advice only when asked.

Once the tent was up and their bags were inside, Dudley went in search of his pride and joy: an acoustic guitar, a gift from his Aunt Marge (whom for reasons no one could figure out, had a strange animosity towards Harry so he never received a gift for any of his birthdays or Christmas). He set up his guitar case and repair kit just under the tent awning and began lovingly examining it for any damage incurred in transit.

Petunia came walking up then with a couple of brochures in hand, "Harry? Dudley? The campground desk clerk said that there's some wonderful foraging and fishing here. Do you want to take a look?"

Harry nodded quickly and hurried off to find his 'Junior Chef Travel Book' on local fish and shellfish, a tape measure, a bucket and a hook. Dudley carefully put away his guitar and grabbed their Wellies and another bucket and hook. At the last moment, Petunia retrieved her disposable camera and a set of rubber gloves.

* * *

_**On the beach…** _

There were so many crevices, nooks and crannies and rocks to overturn in search of anything edible and cool to look at. While Harry spent most of his time evaluating the various crabs and seaweeds to see if they were good enough to harvest, Dudley found all sorts of weird sea creatures like starfish (the largest one he found was as big as a dinner plate, not including the arms!) He held up each and every find (or tried to) for his mum to take a photo of with him proudly holding (and making faces at.)

"Aunt Petunia! You gotta see this!" Harry yelled out a moment later after Dudley safely put a sea urchin back where he'd found it.

Gingerly picking her way across the rocks, Petunia spotted her nephew holding up a positively _huge_ lobster! It was a size that would've only been found in the swankiest fine dining restaurant.

"Wow, Harry! Where'd you find that?" She exclaimed as she pulled out her camera again and snapped off a couple of pictures.

Pointing to the rock cave, Harry explained how he discovered the lobster and the steps it took him to fish it out.

"Whoa! Pretty blue color, Harry. It's a shame that it'll just turn bright red when cooked," Dudley commented.

Harry pulled out the tape measure and with his aunt's help, determined it to be 51 centimeters.

* * *

_**Three hours later…** _

"Wow, Harry! That's one heck of a haul. What did you find?" Vernon complimented the tired but eminently happy boy.

"Thanks, Uncle Vernon. I found a huge blue lobster, a handful of gaper clams, a few mussels and some edible seaweed for flavoring. Now comes the hard part. Cleaning…" He rolled his eyes and dragged the bucket over to the spigot. He jogged back and grabbed another bowl to hold the cleaned shellfish and crabs.

"What did you find, Dudley?"

"I found some crabs, and a huge starfish and…" Dudley began his rambling description of his own search, gesturing widely as Petunia looked on, smiling proudly at her son.

Harry made short work of the dirt and grit that had accumulated on the shells; he emptied about a cup of salt into a bowl of water and dropped in the clams. This would cause them to filter themselves of any grit inside so he didn't have to do it. Harry instructed Dudley to get a pot of water started to boil before performing a final rinse. He asked Vernon to humanely dispatch the crabs and lobster since it was too tough for his small hands to grip the knife and the shells securely. Once Vernon completed his task, Harry scrubbed them down one last time before adding them to the pot. Once they were cooked and a glowing red, Harry poured off the water into the bushes and dumped them into a bucket full of cold water and a chunk of ice from the cooler to stop the cooking process. Next, he began assembling his spices and the corn on the cob he'd planned for this meal. He handed off a couple of sirloin steaks to his uncle for him to cook as he saw fit.

Preparing the corn on the cob was easy. He cut off the tassels from the top and shucked back the leaves part way. Next, he smeared on a tab of softened butter and dusted the corn with chili powder, salt and a bit of black pepper then he wrapped each of them up in tinfoil and placed them in the coals of the fire. He dusted his hands off and looked up, "Dinner should be ready in just a few minutes."

Petunia nodded and mentioned that the table was set up and ready. She turned and spotted her son digging around the firepit, "Dudley? Go wash up and get the drinks."

* * *

Dinner that evening was relaxed and pleasant. Vernon had commented wistfully that it was a shame that they didn't live closer to the beach if this was the kind of food they could be eating. The sounds of the ocean's waves crashing on the beach in the background were a perfect counterpoint to the laughter and jokes that were being passed around. A campfire had been set up and lit to provide warmth in the rapidly cooling night air. Petunia sat back and reveled in this picture-perfect moment of family bliss. It was just heart-wrenching that her sister and husband couldn't be there to share in it with them. Lily and James would've been so proud of their son; if it weren't for that blasted terrorist…

_Nearly twenty years ago or so, some sadistic arse had risen up and gathered a bunch of like-minded crazed followers and sycophants. They rampaged up and down the island killing people indiscriminately, including James and Lily Potter. What made it worse (in Petunia's mind) was that this terrorist group had an ability that neither she nor her husband had. They could perform magic and they used that magic to cause panic, death and chaos wherever they went. It wasn't until Halloween 1981 that the leader of that group had been stopped. The surprising thing was that the person who stopped him was supposedly her nephew, Harry._

_Well, that's what the letter she received said. Petunia didn't believe it; it just wasn't possible for a fifteen month toddler to perform such miracles. No, she believed that it had to have been something her sister did. At any rate, she and Vernon had discovered the morning of November 1_ _st_ _that their family had grown by one when she'd gone out to the porch and discovered Harry sleeping in a basket with a wicked looking scar on his forehead, covered by a thin blanket and clutching a letter._

_The letter was condescending and weirdly written; suggestions that they were expected to raise the boy as they saw fit but that punishments were encouraged, no one would make contact with them until it was time to send him back to the magical world and signed by the self-aggrandized leader of the vigilante group fighting the evil wizards, headmaster of the only magical school in Britain and chief whatchamacallit in their government: Albus Dumbledore. There had been a brief argument between Vernon and herself about what to do with Harry, which she'd won. There was no way in Hell that she'd ever treat her nephew as some kind of slave or dump him in an orphanage! Lily's son would be raised as their own and with as much care and love that they'd bestow on their own son._

* * *

Dudley picked up his guitar and began strumming a soothing, wordless song sort of in tune with the crackling fire. Petunia smirked to herself as she sipped her evening cup of tea at the thought that Dumbledore's plans for a meek and pliable boy had been derailed. Harry was raised to think and question things that didn't make sense. He respected authority but at the same time knew that same respect had to be earned. It also made her grin wickedly that the supposed 'everyone knows' idea that she and her sister hated each other was complete bunk. They _did_ have their spats, especially in the beginning but they worked through the emotions and solved their problems.

No, Petunia knew of the magical world. The problem was, after that day when she'd discovered Harry on their porch, she couldn't remember how to access it.

* * *

Their second and third day of camping was filled with sightseeing, fishing and foraging. They toured some ancient castles and some hidden coves. Both Dudley and Harry made some really cool finds in terms of weird looking sea life hidden amongst the tide pools. The water was too cold for snorkeling despite Dudley's whining that he wanted to try it anyways. Vernon got tired of the whining and hauled him away for a 'private chat.' When they returned, Dudley was sniffling, quiet and would gingerly shift every time he wanted to sit down. Petunia looked worried but Vernon reassured her that it wasn't swats but their son tripping over a rock and landing hard.

"I would never hit my son no matter how much he deserved it. I just growled at him a bit about how bratty he was in front of others. He turned away and tripped over the rock."

Harry meanwhile, had discovered a crab attacking a starfish and called the others over. They watched in morbid fascination as the starfish let the crab yank off an arm with nary a reaction before making its agonizingly slow escape. There was a sandy section of the beach where the two boys spent some time making a lop-sided sand castle that immediately fell apart at the slightest touch of an incoming wave much to their laughing and groaning.

* * *

It wasn't until the second to last day there that something happened…

Harry was scouting along the base of a cliff in search of some really cool rocks and maybe even a fossil or two. He had just paused to take a sip of water from his canteen when he heard a sharp crack and a rumbling noise coming from above. His head snapped up and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head as a gigantic boulder appeared to be falling down on top of him. He distantly heard his name being screamed before there was a louder crack, feeling someone grab him, sudden darkness and an overwhelming crushing sensation then suddenly he was looking up at a man who was frantically checking Harry's face looking for injuries.

Harry's eyes and head were spinning and the last thought he had before passing out was wondering why a woman was asking if the man's name was 'Moony.'

* * *

"Moony? Er… Remus, right?"

The man's head snapped up and his mouth dropped open, "Pet…Petunia? Petunia Evans?" he stammered in surprise.

Petunia smiled shyly and gestured to her shell-shocked husband, "Petunia Dursley now. Wow Remus Lupin, I haven't seen you in ages. I think the last time was at my sister's wedding. Is Harry okay?" Her smile faded and her fears returned full force.

Remus pulled what looked like an ordinary stick from his pocket and murmured something which caused Harry to glow blue for a moment. Whatever the glow indicated caused Remus to look relieved and his shoulders slumped. He nodded his response and shook out the tremors from his hands, "Yes, he's fine and should be waking up soon. He most likely just passed out from the shock of it all."

Vernon, a surprised look on his face when Remus performed… _something,_ cleared his throat and declared that he'd be the one to take Harry back to their campsite as he bent down to pick up the boy. Petunia stayed back a bit to walk with Remus as Dudley gathered up their stuff without being asked. After they got back to the campsite and put Harry in the tent to wake up on his own, the adults gathered around the picnic table where Petunia began the questions.

* * *

After getting settled and accepting a beer from Vernon, Remus began his explanation as to how he came to be at the campground.

"Well, to answer your question as to the reason why I'm here; I own the campground and the farm. I had been thinking rather hard near the end of my school years about what sort of career I wanted to have only for the disheartening reality that the magical world is just too prejudiced against people like me."

"People…like you? What do you mean?" Vernon interrupted; suddenly nervous that maybe they were sitting with a pedophile.

Remus hesitated before admitting that he's a werewolf. Vernon looked puzzled, "So once a month you turn into a hairy, bloodthirsty beast?" Remus nodded once and Vernon snorted derisively and slyly glanced over at his wife who caught the look, squealed indignantly and shoved his shoulder.

"Anyway, to continue, an acquaintance of mine mentioned that there were plenty of opportunities in the muggle world as long as I got creative. After a bit of digging around, I discovered this campground and the adjacent farm had gone up for sale. I paid the fees, got the place cleaned up and started advertising."

Petunia laughed lightly, "I think it's perfect. You get to have fresh air, a veritable bounty from the sea, friendly and temporary neighbors, and huge amounts of land to roam around on."

Remus cocked his finger at her, "Exactly. Plus when it's time for my transformation, I can just squirrel myself away in a protected and warded cove nearby."

The adults talked long into the afternoon when Harry finally woke up and joined them. He studied Remus' face for a moment, "I could swear that I should remember you. That you and I had met before."

Remus slowly tilted his head, "That we did though I'd be surprised that you actually remember me. You were only about eight months when you and your parents went into hiding. Then after that Halloween, I tried to find you but Albus said that you'd been hidden away for your safety and the public would've screamed bloody murder if someone like me had found you." He then explained briefly about his condition to Harry who shrugged it off.

"So how were you able to rescue me so quickly? It was almost like magic but that can't be because magic isn't real," Harry asked him.

Remus smirked knowingly, "Ah, young Harry. That is where you are wrong. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, if you would permit me?" Both adult Dursleys nodded or gestured so Remus leant in and filled both boys in on the knowledge that magic was indeed real.

* * *

_**That night…** _

As a treat, Remus offered to take them on an adventure to the beach later that evening. The Dursleys and Harry arrived right on time just as Remus came shuffling up carrying some torches with a purple lens on them.

"These are ultraviolet torches that will cause some of the sea creatures to glow."

Dudley and Harry's eyes bugged out and their mouths dropped open, "Cool!" Their attention was now captured.

Remus led the group along the shoreline and rocks pointing out and describing how to find the anemones and the shells that would glow the best. He explained the biology behind the glow and what the creatures used it for. Harry had brought along his foraging gear and was fortunate to land a couple of crabs.

"Just remember that you can't keep everything you catch. There are no official limits but you don't want to deplete the resources here. You're allowed to take lobsters as long as they're a minimum of ninety millimeters from the just behind the eyestalks to the top of the tail where it connects into the back shell and you're allowed any of the crabs as long as it's 115 millimeters across the carapace," Remus reminded them.

When they took a break to give Vernon and Petunia a chance to catch their breath, Remus asked Harry what he'd been looking for earlier along the base of the cliff.

"I was looking for fossils," Harry sheepishly explained, "I thought it'd be cool to get back to school in September and show off my really cool find."

"So you didn't see the sign that cautioned people against the possibility of falling rocks?" Remus asked puzzled. Harry shook his head at the question.

"I didn't see any signs."

"Hmmm… I'll need to install some then."

* * *

_**The last day of camping…** _

Harry and Dudley were allowed to range up and down the Cornwall coast as long as they kept the campground and the trailer in sight. The hills were lush with green wild grasses and flowers; Harry was having a great time trying to identify all the edible ones. Dudley was on the hunt for lizards and snakes. He caught a small snake and shoved it into Harry's face.

" _ **Be careful you annoying two legger! Put me down!"**_ The snake hissed angrily.

Harry pulled up short and cocked his head curiously, _**"Hello, Did my cousin hurt you?"**_

If it were possible for a snake to bug out its eyes and become dumbfounded, this one managed to pull it off, _**"A Sp...A Speaker?! Great Fields Above! It's true! I'd heard stories of Speakers but I never thought I'd meet one."**_ The snake babbled.

Dudley tilted his head in surprise, "Harry? Are you two actually speaking to each other?"

Harry shook his head and peered disapprovingly at the surprised look on his cousin's face, "Yeah, well you were the one who pulled this snake from its hiding spot and tried shoving it in my face. It's only polite to offer an apology for your blunder."

Dudley looked appropriately chastised as he put the snake back on the ground, "Sorry, Mr. Snake." Harry translated and the snake gave one bob of its head before slithering off into the bush.

* * *

When they got back to the campsite, Dudley immediately went to go tell his mum and dad what happened. Harry poked around in the cooler for something to make for lunch, eventually deciding on making some simple minute steak sandwiches. He stoked the campfire coals and loaded in some new sticks of wood before getting the meat out and rubbing it down with some salt, pepper and a cut clove of garlic. He pulled out some fresh rosemary and pulled the leaves off. Next, he dropped about a tablespoon of butter into the skillet and put it over the fire to heat up. When the pan started sizzling, he laid in the steaks and let that start cooking; scooping up the melted butter with a brush made out of the leftover rosemary bundle and brushing it on top of the steaks.

After the meat reached a good medium rare temp, Harry pulled the steaks off and let them rest for a moment while he prepared the bread. A smearing of homemade horseradish mayonnaise and a healthy amount of bean sprouts went on the tops of the sliced wheat bread. He turned back to the steaks and using a knife, carefully sliced each one thinly and divided it amongst the four sandwiches. Once that was done, he laid the top slice of bread on top and called to the others that lunch was being served.

Petunia kept glancing over at her nephew as they all ate the sandwiches; she was worried about this newfound ability Harry had displayed with the snake. Clearing her throat, "Harry?"

He looked up, cheeks puffed up with sandwich, "Hmmph?"

"Dudley told us about the incident with the snake. Umm, have you ever spoken to a snake before?" Harry shook his head negatively as he swallowed what was in his mouth.

"No, I haven't. I was surprised too; do you think Mr. Lupin would know anything about it?"

"That's a good idea, Harry. We'll go ask him after lunch." Vernon mumbled as he took a swig of tea.

* * *

They found Remus later, tending to an Alpaca on his farm. He waved them over and introduced them all to the animal named 'Woolsey.'

"So what brings you by?"

Waving her hand in Harry's direction, Petunia explained that the two boys had gone exploring when Dudley had apparently found a snake and shoved it into Harry's face to get some sort of reaction only to get the shock that Harry was able to speak with said snake. Remus' face was a picture of stunned silence.

"Harry? You're a Parselmouth?"

" _A what?"_ All four exclaimed.

Remus motioned for them all to follow him inside his house. Once settled on the couches and chairs, Remus explained the history and general knowledge of what a Parselmouth was and their uses in the wider magical world.

"Now to be honest, the bulk of magical Britain is absolutely terrified of anyone who can speak to snakes because of the past troubles had from the likes of You-Know-Who and Salazar Slytherin but in my opinion, it's no different than being able to speak Spanish, French or any other language plus, you have the unique ability to converse with an animal whose venom is used in many healing potions. I know that Saint Mungo's is always on the lookout for a Parselmouth for their Creature Bite Ward, as snake bites are the most common ailment there and Gringott's, the Goblin run bank in London will pay a Parselmouth's weight in gold to work with their dragon handlers as well as a cursebreaker."

"What's a cursebreaker?" Dudley asked.

Remus thought for a moment, "Think of a magical Indiana Jones though with a wand instead of a bullwhip."

Dudley moaned, "That is so cool! Harry'd be able to do that?"

Remus shrugged, "If he wanted to when he gets older and got the training necessary. It takes a lot of studying and work to become one."

Harry shook his head, "I want to become a chef when I grow up. Poking around dusty tombs and stuff sounds awesome but I'd rather have a nice, clean kitchen."

Perplexed, Remus looked up at Petunia and Vernon who merely looked smug, "He cooks?"

Vernon laughed, "Harry doesn't cook. What he does do transcends description. It's almost like an art form when he makes food. Harry, why don't you tell Remus here the sort of things you've made?"

Harry sniffed and scratched his head, "Well, I've made a bunch of things," he thought really hard, "I've made steak sandwiches, I made a seafood boil just a couple of days ago, I made fried chicken, I make my own sauces, breads, blend my own spices…"

Remus' mouth kept dropping lower and lower.

* * *

_**Later…** _

Vernon and the boys finished packing up the trailer and the car in preparation to start their return trip home. Harry kept glancing back towards the farmhouse where Remus lived and looked a bit sad to be leaving the man behind. He felt Petunia wrap her arms around his shoulders and give him a bracing hug.

"Don't worry, Harry. He'll come for a visit soon, especially now that he's been informed of where we live. It's not forever and just think of all the fun things you'll have to talk about when you see him next!"

Harry put on a brave face but his heart just wasn't in it. _'I did regain an uncle I never knew about and who knew my parents while they were in that magical school I'll someday go to so this weekend was a success, I guess. I did have fun and I still can't believe that I caught those lobsters and crabs! I'll never have to wish I could buy lobster again since I know how easy it is to catch them.'_

Vernon wrangled the boys into the car and watched them put their seatbelts on before glancing over the trailer hitch one last time. Harry noticed Remus standing on the path next to the driveway and rolled down the window to yell out his goodbyes. Vernon started up the engine and with a toot of the horn, pulled out of the drive way.

**Recipes:**

Fried chicken wraps with lime creme sauce

Seafood boil and grilled steaks

Grilled corn on the cob


	2. Investigating A Whole New Cookbook pt. 1

**Chapter 2: Investigating a whole new cookbook (July 1989 to July 1991)**

**July 1989, one week after the events of their camping trip**

Vernon was tired and frustrated; the Grunning's 2000 series bit grinder's main bearing seized up on the operators and damn near tore itself (and the two operators) apart. There was a minor fire that had started from the oil spill and the flying sparks, the operators were fortunate enough to escape with only minor injuries. He had been pressed into service in the efforts to contain the damage and to assess what else could be done to not lose production time, the Mortinson contract was a big one.

He pulled the car up into the garage at the end of the day and sighed heavily. The day was over, he was tired and dirty. The operators were recovering and the production schedule wasn't pushed too far behind. All he wanted to do now was shower, grab a beer or maybe break open that Scotch bottle and relax on his chair.

' _I just got back from a vacation and now I'm in need of another one,'_ he groused internally as he opened the inter-house door and stepped inside. His nose immediately picked up the sharp tang of cinnamon, the sweetness he associated with raisins and something syrupy that seemed rather foreign. Curious, he dropped his briefcase on the table next to the arch that led into the living room and entered the kitchen where he found Petunia and Dudley watching Harry doing something creative with what appeared to be chicken.

"Pet. Dudley. Harry? What are you making now? I smell cinnamon," he greeted the others as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed his favorite brand of ale.

Petunia and Dudley quietly said their hellos before turning back to Harry who was busy concentrating on what appeared to be a new cookbook. Harry absentmindedly waved his hand in his uncle's direction. He grabbed a bundle of green onions and began slicing them slantways in thin strips before dropping them in a small bowl and moving onto the chicken. From the pantry, Harry grabbed the cornstarch, salt and pepper. He deboned and cut apart the whole chicken Petunia had bought yesterday, stripping off as much of the skin as possible and chucking it into a baggie to be tossed out later. Harry dredged the chicken strips in the cornstarch mix and set it aside to heat up a skillet with a bit of oil. Once the oil was sizzling hot, he transferred the chicken into the skillet and cooked it until it was golden brown. Next he added a little bit of butter to the pan along with some minced garlic.

Vernon's nose was suddenly assaulted with the sharp aroma of garlic and it made his mouth water. _'This ought to be good. I love garlic flavored chicken.'_ He murmured to Petunia that he was going to grab a quick shower and left the room.

* * *

Harry's cooking dance continued; he brought out some more ingredients from the pantry. He combined honey, crushed red peppers, chicken stock, rice vinegar and light soy sauce to a bowl and mixed it together then poured it into the pan with the chicken and brought it to a boil, occasionally turning the chicken to make sure it was well coated. After a few minutes, he brought the heat down and let it simmer until the sauce began to thicken.

Harry then turned his attention to another pot that was quietly simmering on the burner. He turned off the heat and removed the pot lid. He retrieved a ladle and scooped up whole grain rice onto several plates stacked up in front of Dudley. He topped the rice with several pieces each of the glazed chicken and garnished each of them with a handful of the sliced green onions before sliding the plates before each of his mesmerized audience.

* * *

One bite and Vernon was hooked. _'Oh, my god where has this been all my life!'_ he moaned internally and closed his eyes as he savored the sweet and hot glaze that burned and soothed his tongue simultaneously. The sauce had cooled enough that the chicken crunched a bit with each bite adding to the heavenly sensation.

"Ahhh, thank you Harry. This is exactly what I needed after the day I had. Where'd you get this cookbook? I don't remember this one from your collection."

Harry grinned around his mouthful of dinner. He swallowed and informed his uncle that he and Dudley had spent the day in the library when he came across the section that had cookbooks from around the world.

"I got a couple of other cuisines too. I got French, Japanese, American and Mexican," he said after taking a sip of his cup of water.

"Did you also do something with cinnamon? I could've sworn I smelled that when I came in."

"I made cinnamon raisin bread earlier." Vernon nodded his acknowledgment and leaned back in his chair, thoroughly satisfied with the meal.

After dinner, Petunia and Dudley assisted Harry in the cleanup while Vernon went to go relax in the living room.

* * *

**Grunning's Drill Company, Executive Lunch room, the next day**

Vernon absently greeted yet another one of the company's multitude of vice presidents and sat down at the table with his lunch bag. He was the only one of the group who brown bagged his lunch much to the continued amusement of the other executives.

"Hey Vernon, wife giving you an allowance to go with that lunch?" quipped the lout from Accounting to the bleating laughter of his cronies. Vernon merely quirked an eyebrow and let a smirk cross his features.

"I'll have you know Croyden; that my nephew made this and I'm forever happy with his cooking."

"Oooh, so you got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich too, eh? Did he pack you a bag of crisps?" Croyden mocked.

Vernon wondered why he thought that the executive level was supposed to be refined. Sometimes he felt that he should be taking his lunch with the workers. _They_ at least appreciated a home cooked meal…

He opened the bag and removed the plastic container that held the leftover rice from last night's dinner, a small bottle of hot sauce, and a foil wrapped set of Hawaiian style kebabs. Each of the kebabs had a square of pineapple, ham, mozzarella cheese, the honey-garlic chicken from last night and a cherry tomato. He placed it all on a microwavable plate and re-heated it then sat down again to enjoy his 'Harry Meal.' The meal looked so good in fact that the others sitting at his table looked on enviously.

Vernon smugly thought, _'Stare all you want, losers. I got the epic lunch and all you have to eat is crow.'_

* * *

**September 1989 St. Grogory's School**

' _Sniff.' 'Sniff….'_ _'Sniiiiifffff…'_

Harry glanced up at the sound of someone sniffing near his workspace and spotted his new teacher, Miss Bomberg, looking curiously at him.

"Mr. Potter? Why do you smell like pizza?" A couple of Harry's friends chuckled. _They knew why._

Harry sighed, "I was experimenting with my spices yesterday and trying to come up with a new Italian blend. I got a bit carried away with the grinder." He made the hand gestures of a cloud exploding into the air.

The teacher's face grew puzzled, "Spices? Grinder? Just what are you into, Mr. Potter?"

"I like to cook, ma'am. Last month was French cuisine; this month is Italian foods."

The look of surprise on her face was funny. The teacher made a mental note to contact the boy's guardian to find out more.

* * *

_**Later at lunch time…** _

Regina Bomberg sat down with the other teachers for their lunch and listened to some of the conversations. After finishing her bite of a rather bland garden salad she picked up from the store, she turned to the Assistant Headmistress.

"Diane? I was wondering if you could tell me more about one of my students, a Mr. Harry Potter? Is it really true that he knows how to cook?"

Diane Haustenberg sighed happily, "Yep but what he does goes way beyond the ordinary classification of 'cooking.' The talent that boy has when presented with various ingredients is completely astounding. Why? Did something happen?"

Regina shook her head briefly, "No, it's just he came into class smelling of pizza spices and he mentioned he got carried away with experimenting with an Italian spice blend and something about a grinder."

Diane grinned, "Is he now? What did he make from it?"

Regina shrugged, "Said that he was starting Italian cuisine this month and mentioned that last month was French foods." She glanced around the room and noted that everyone was practically hanging onto every word between them. "Is there something I should know?"

Diane patted her hand, "Just wait until you throw a party. You'll be amazed…"

* * *

Diane wasn't the only one fielding questions about Harry's culinary skills. Harry himself was surrounded by a group of his school mates all begging him to teach them how to cook. He held up his hands and begged for silence.

"I would be happy to teach you a couple of recipes and how to work in the kitchen but we would need permission from the headmistress and our parents or relatives. Get that and I'll see what I can come up with. In the meantime, I just wanna eat my lunch." He plopped down on the bench and pointedly stared at the kids still milling around until they got the message and dispersed.

His closest friend, Aaron, peered into Harry's lunch bag, "What'd you bring this time?"

Harry pulled out the containers, "I got some wild rice, pan-cooked garlic shrimp fettuccini alfredo and an apple."

Aaron glanced dispiritedly at his own meager lunch, "I can't wait to take your class, Harry. My mum gave me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a packet of Oreos."

Harry nudged his friend's shoulder with his own in commiseration.

* * *

**October 1989**

Now that Remus was involved in Harry's life again and the tourist season had dropped off significantly, he became a regular caller to the Dursley house. Once more, Petunia was surprised with the knowledge that despite Remus being a magical, he also knew how to operate and owned a car of his own. It was early October when he paid a visit to Privet Drive.

Harry was in the living room playing Super Mario Brothers on the Nintendo with Dudley when they heard the distinctive duck call that Remus' car horn sounded like. He quickly hit pause and jumped up and ran to the window; a wide grin bursting out on his face.

"Uncle Remus is here!" he yelled happily before racing over to the front door and yanking it open.

Remus was carrying a pile of boxes in his arms when he was hit by a messy-haired missile around his waist, "Hey, kiddo! It's good to see you too. Let me get these boxes inside before they melt, okay?"

Harry pulled back, "Melt? What did you bring?" He helped Remus inside by taking one of the boxes that was threatening to fall off the stack.

"I brought some fresh seafood straight from the beach; figured you might be able to do something with it."

Harry's eyes bugged out and his mouth dropped open, "Thanks! Oh, I can't wait. This month we're having Japanese."

* * *

Once they got inside the house, Remus was led into the newly refinished mudroom behind the kitchen. There was a brand-new refrigerated storage container similar to the ones found in the convenience stores to hold ice creams and such.

"Where'd you get this, Harry? Is it new?"

"Aunt Petunia found it somewhere and talked to Uncle Vernon about increasing our refrigerated storage. They did something adult-y and had it installed." Harry replied with a desultorily wave of his hand. The two of them opened the lid and made room for the new boxes.

Petunia came in and greeted Remus, "I thought I heard the dulcet tones of Harry's voice yelling to the heavens that you'd arrived. How are you, Remus?"

Remus grinned, "Pretty good. Things are quieted down on the farm since the tourist season ended. Thanks for letting me stop by."

* * *

Dinner was a lively affair. Remus came armed with a bunch of hilarious stories from his days at Hogwarts and his friendships with James Potter and Lily Evans, as he knew them then. He kept all the stories kid-friendly and would occasionally pause as he tried to adjust some of the references to something less… risqué.

Harry was in the kitchen busily preparing their meal while Remus observed. He watched as Harry poached some eggs then washed and sliced the mushrooms, radishes, leeks and scallions. He then pulled out a couple of sheets of kombu-style seaweed and soaked it and the mushroom stems in water for 30 minutes then dumped them into a saucepan on low heat for another thirty. Once the eggs were poached, he put them aside on a plate and covered them to keep them warm but not cooking. When the thirty minutes in the saucepan were up, he removed the seaweed and added the sliced mushroom caps and leeks for yet another 30 minutes.

In a separate saucepan, he boiled a package of soba noodles then added them to the mushroom broth. He finished out the soup with a dash of sweet rice wine and soy sauce before assembling the poached eggs on top of the noodles into individual bowls.

"Oh, this is heaven Harry. What do you call this soup?" Remus said complimentarily.

"Dinner?" Harry replied cheekily to the groans of the others, "Sorry, it's called Japanese Soba with Mushroom Broth. I also put thinly sliced radishes in as well for added kick."

"It's incredible, that's what it is. I don't know where you picked up the talent from. Neither of your parents were any great shakes in the kitchen. As a matter of fact, your father was banned from cooking anything more complicated than porridge." Harry laughed along with the others.

* * *

Once the soup was finished, Harry got up and served the next course of their meal. He'd made some Japanese Ginger Pork for the mains.

"So explain what you did here, Harry." Vernon asked him as he dug into the exotically flavored pork.

"Well, I mixed together a sauce made from the sweet rice wine, grated ginger and some light soy sauce. Then I marinated the pork slices in the sauce for about half an hour before removing it and putting the marinade aside. I used that new wok you got me and put in a bit of oil, kicked the heat on high until the oil just started to smoke and sautéed the pork for about 2 minutes. I then added the marinade and continued to cook for another thirty minutes. I made some rice and shredded some cabbage for the 'bedding.'"

"Exotic but not unpleasant. I never knew you could do this with pork." Vernon commented as he took another bite with a smile in his eyes.

* * *

Along with being a welcome visitor, Remus was also the Dursley's point man for all things magical. He taught Harry and Dudley what he knew of a basic Samhain ritual to commemorate the passing of Harry's parents. He had Harry write a letter to his parents as if he was away at school, telling them all about his life and his wishes, hopes and dreams. He then demonstrated a simple prayer to say as he lit the letter on fire and how to scatter the ashes to the winds. Petunia and Vernon had written a letter authorizing him to act as their representative to Gringott's after he'd told them about the Potter Family Vaults and the Will. Petunia vaguely remembered Lily talking about the Will but for the life of her, couldn't remember what had happened to it. That puzzled both Remus and Vernon as Petunia's memory was like a steel trap most of the time.

"Could that headmaster guy done something to us? Something to make her forget?" Vernon asked one evening.

Remus shrugged but he was concerned, "It's possible though I can't imagine why he'd do that."

Petunia grunted, "I wouldn't put it past him. Did you ever see the letter he left with Harry that night he dumped him on our porch after that Halloween?"

"He did _WHAT?"_ Remus yelped.

Petunia grimaced as she rose from her seat and headed to their closet under the stairs where they kept all the important papers and stuff. When she returned, she handed him the now faded letter. He quickly read it and began to frown.

"The wording in this…" he trailed off.

"Very condescending and odd. It was like he wanted us to treat Harry like a slave and to make him crave attention from outsiders," Petunia confirmed, "At any rate, we would like for you to contact whomever it is that is in charge of the Potter account at that bank of yours and see what they can do to get the Will probated. I have to believe that they left something behind for him. Maybe you could also look into why letters addressed to you about Harry mysteriously vanish?"

"What do you mean 'mysteriously vanish'?" he frowned.

"I know that I wrote you a couple of times but when I asked our mail carrier if there were any letters from you, he'd give me a strange look and told me that I'd never sent anything out."

"That is strange. What about parcels and packages?"

"Those went through just fine. It was the letters that were the problem. It got me thinking that maybe Dumbledore or whomever did something so that letters with keywords and phrases involving Harry would disappear."

Remus' face took on a pensive look, "That makes a scary amount of sense. A mail redirect ward is easy to set up and a variant to screen out letters based on content is just as easy to install." He handed back the letter. Family Will and Mail tampering was a serious offense no matter which side of the magical divide you were on. He'd look into it as soon as possible.

* * *

"Petunia? There's one other thing I noticed that I've been meaning to ask you about. Rumor's had it that Harry had a lightning bolt shaped scar from where Voldemort's curse rebounded but his forehead seems to clear."

Petunia sat back down in her seat after getting another cup of tea and tilted her head in acknowledgment, "True but we had it removed when he was about six. We kept getting glares from the other parents and even a visit from Family Services about the report that we abused him," she shrugged a shoulder, "So we finally got tired of it and contacted his pediatrician about getting scar removal surgery. It didn't take long and he was in the hospital for only a couple of days. There was one odd thing though."

"Oh?"

"The surgeon told us later that when they incinerated the medical waste at the end of the procedure, there was an inhuman scream that erupted from the furnace. He joked that it was the end of Harry's time with that ugly scar." Vernon explained as he entered the conversation and the room.

"So to finish up, the surgeon explained that he healed up the site on Harry's forehead and he'd only have a thin line just above his eyebrow that you'd only notice when he got a tan and if you looked close enough," Petunia said as she shifted her feet underneath herself.

* * *

**November 1989**

**Gringott's Bank, Diagon Alley, London**

"Next!" the Goblin teller yelled out as Remus stepped forward and sketched a small bow.

"Good business, Teller. I seek a meeting with the Potter Family account manager at his earliest convenience. I do not have an appointment but I am willing to wait." Remus informed the slightly sneering Goblin.

"Very well." He wrote a short note and sent it on its way, "A message has been sent, you may wait over there," he gestured towards a small area with benches, "Is that all?" Remus tilted his head once and gave the appropriate thanks and walked away.

* * *

Not ten minutes later, an escort appeared and led Remus to the office of Daggerclaw, the Potter Family account manager. Greetings given and a seat offered, Remus got straight down to business.

"I have a letter from the muggle guardians and relatives of Harry James Potter wishing that they would like me to act as a magical steward on this side of the divide as they have no means of traveling here." He promptly handed over the letter of authorization to Daggerclaw who quickly scanned it and approved the veracity of the contents.

"So what can I and Gringott's do for Mr. Potter's Steward?"

"First, the family would like to know if the Potter Will had been probated yet and if not, they'd like to start those proceedings. Next, they'd like to have an audit performed on all Potter vaults if possible. They suspect that Albus Dumbledore has been playing 'sticky fingers' with the monies and properties. Their reasoning is that the man dumped infant Harry onto their doorstop with only a thin blanket and a rather condescending letter. The letter is on the desk in this packet." He motioned to said packet; Daggerclaw held out his hand for it. "Additionally, and they're willing to pay for it themselves, but they'd like to have their house inspected for any sort of illegally placed wards. They suspect Dumbledore again doing things like mail redirection and tampering."

Daggerclaw finished reviewing the packet to his satisfaction. He loved working with the muggleborn parents and their offspring; they tried their hardest to provide as much information as possible to facilitate speedy results and financial gains. He quickly sketched out a request for the Will retrieval from the Records Department as well as one to the Accounting Department for an auditor and someone from the Warding Inspectors office. Both arrived within moments of each other.

"Silvertooth, I want you to take a team and audit the entirety of the Potter vaults. I suspect foul play from that gobrek smear Albus Dumbledore." All the Goblins sneered at the man's name. "Get that report back to me as soon as possible." Silvertooth bowed once and departed. Daggerclaw turned to the next Goblin, "Goldhammer, here's the address of a muggle home suspected to have illegal wards placed upon it. You'll most likely have to go in under the cover of darkness to make your inspection. Again, Dumbledore is the likely suspect here." Goldhammer grinned maliciously, "If the old goat should appear, am I allowed to repel the bastard?"

Daggerclaw glanced over at Remus who silently nodded, "Yes, at the very least he should be stunned and have his memory of the visit removed. Dump his wrinkled butt in another county if you have to." Goldhammer acknowledged this and left the office. Daggerclaw and Remus then turned to the Potter Will on the desk. There were the usual boilerplate statements and such along with the bequeathments. Remus growled quietly at first when he read that Sirius Black was listed as primary contact then gave a whine of surprise at the declaration that he'd undertaken the Godfather Oath. _'There's no way that he would've been able to betray the Potters if he'd undertaken that Oath. He'd be dead the moment the Secret left his lips!'_ The next shock was the knowledge that Harry should've never been placed with Petunia and Vernon Dursley that while they were family; they wouldn't have the capability to raise a magical child. Finally, the Will stated that James and Lily had filed a copy with the Ministry and had Albus Witness it but considered the one with the Goblins to be the True Will (Albus never witnessed this one.) James had included a note that stated 'while he respected Dumbledore for his past achievements, there was something conniving about the elder man that just didn't sit right with him. Albus was holding secrets that could help the Potter family as well as the wider wizarding world but refused to share them all under the guise of his oft-stated 'Greater Good.''

"Well," Remus croaked after he'd finished reading the Will, "The DMLE needs to be notified about Sirius Black and maybe the manipulations of Albus. I request that Albus be removed from all accounts and all monies and properties be recovered with full prejudice pending the results from the audit." Daggerclaw returned with a wicked Goblin grin, one with fully bared teeth. "I would like a certified copy of this Will to take back with me to the Dursleys, if I may?" Daggerclaw waved his hand over the parchment and a second document appeared which was handed back to Remus.

The appropriate farewells were given and Remus left the office. He had one more stop to make.

* * *

**Flourish and Blott's Bookstore**

After getting a fortifying cup of tea to calm his flustered nerves, Remus entered the bookstore to pick up some textbooks and things so he could begin some basic instruction with Harry to prepare him for his reintroduction to the magical world when the boy turned eleven years old. He got a magical history book, a book on etiquette and customs, a primer of basic light-sided rituals and a couple of magical cookbooks.

He knew firsthand that most of the complaints from the pureblood families was the lack of knowledge and the tendency to trample over their customs of 'their' world by the muggleborn and raised. He rightly figured that if the incoming children from non-magical families at least knew the basics, it would smooth over whatever gaffs that may arise. The history book was always helpful because who didn't like to know where and how they came to be. The ritual primer kind of tagged along with the etiquette book in that many of the traditions the magically raised revolved around certain rituals done throughout the year like Samhain, Yule, Beltane and many others.

The cookbooks were obvious…

* * *

_**Back at the Dursleys…** _

Harry was confused by the information overload that Remus had pretty much dumped on them. He sat there leaning up against his aunt's side as he tried to make sense that someone could be so callous as to disregard someone's instructions for their only son then to turn around and steal from their vaults all for some stupid reason as that crazy notion of the 'Greater Good.' Frankly, it sounded like this Dumbledore guy had been watching too much Star Trek.

He was appreciative that Uncle Remus had gotten him the cookbooks and was excited to read and try the recipes. However, Uncle Remus had made him promise to wait until he was available to help him with the magical aspect until he got a wand of his own when he turned eleven. Harry made a disgruntled face but agreed to wait. The history, ritual and etiquette books were a surprise and while the ritual and etiquette books didn't hold much interest in him, the history book did.

"Harry? Why don't you take these books up to your room and read them quietly while your Uncle Remus and I have a little chat?" Aunt Petunia suggested. Harry grabbed the books and headed off upstairs.

Once Harry was gone (Dudley was at a friend's house), the conversation took a darker turn. There was much anger directed at the discovery of the manipulations of Albus Dumbledore and many questions were raised as to why the man would want to interfere with their lives. Vernon growled that it probably had something to do with that idiotic notion of his.

"You said that he was the leader of the resistance to fight this Voldemort character, right? Well, fight a war long enough and it becomes all you know and even crave to some extent. He doesn't know anything beyond war and conflict. The idea of peace is probably scaring the life out of him. By squirreling away Harry with us and not allowing anyone else to get a look in, he can say whatever he wanted to keep the tension going."

Remus blinked, "That makes a lot of sense, really. Scary thing too is that it's entirely plausible."

Before Remus left for the evening, he informed Vernon and Petunia that he'd requested a Warding Inspection team to come by and look for anything that shouldn't be there and that if they got the sense that they were being watched, not to be alarmed by it.

* * *

**December 1989**

Remus got the certified copy of the inspection report and it was disheartening to say the least, infuriating at the most. Not only was there a mail redirect ward but there was also a communication blackout on any letter containing the keywords and phrases that involved Harry Potter or anything relating to his care and well-being. Additionally, there were a number of monitoring wards that sent their information back to somewhere up north towards Scotland. Both Remus and Daggerclaw suspected it was being sent to Dumbledore in his office at Hogwarts. The monitoring wards covered things like Harry's health and general well-being, time spent away from the house (it looked like it had been adjusted from a hour's duration to nearly ten when the lad turned old enough to go to school), there was even a Fidelius ward set up to keep the magical population unaware of where the boy lived. Again, Remus and Daggerclaw figured this was to keep friends of James and Lily interfering with whatever schemes Dumbledore had concocted.

"I don't understand how these wards are being powered. There are no Ley lines anywhere near the Dursley residence," Remus commented.

"The wards appeared to be drawing off the magical signature of young Mr. Potter at a trickle and then amplified by the wardstone. Given how young Mr. Potter is, the warding inspectors felt it prudent to sever the connection to the boy and install a temporary power crystal. Neither the wards nor Mr. Potter will be aware of the changeover." The Goblin Inspector Lead explained.

Daggerclaw also reported that all Potter properties had been recovered and were in the process of being examined for any 'enhancements.' An invisibility cloak was the one that was currently giving them the biggest headaches. There was an unearthly quality about it and frankly the fact that it was incredibly old yet still in perfect condition was…worrying. A pensieve with the Potter crest had been recovered and the memories within removed and stored in bottles. Daggerclaw mentioned that the memory retrieval team viewed the memories and was aghast at their contents.

"Definitely not family viewing then," Remus quipped sourly. He really didn't want to know how far Albus had fallen. Daggerclaw shook his head at that observation.

* * *

When Remus filled in Vernon and Petunia, they naturally hit the roof. Vernon was all set to head up to that blasted school and give over his feelings on the matter directly to the old goat himself from a very personal distance, preferably using a 9 iron. Petunia was disgusted at the level of depravity one man held upon an entire community and voiced her concern that maybe Harry shouldn't go to that school while Dumbledore was free.

"I wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet, Petunia. Don't forget, we still have a little more than a year and a half before Harry turns eleven. With any luck, the DMLE will deal with this problem and arrest the old man for his illegal actions. I know that Amelia Bones is the Director of that department and is an incredibly fair minded person who sees things clearly and is not blinded by misplaced loyalty."

"As for the material properties, once they've been inspected and whatever alterations have been removed, they will be placed into the main Potter Vault where not even Albus has access to. The ancestral home of the Potter family is currently under lockdown and seems to be in fair condition. Whatever elves were there must have been reassigned to the school or died off. In the meantime, all we can really do is plan for the future and make sure that Harry is aware and understands what's in store for him."

With that, the Dursleys, Harry and Remus celebrated the New Year and wished each other luck for the coming times.

**Recipes:**

Honey garlic chicken & rice (Pinterest)

Hawaiian chicken kebabs (Pinterest)

Pan-cooked garlic shrimp fettuccini alfredo (personal recipe)

Japanese Soba with Mushroom Broth (Yummly)

Japanese Ginger Pork (Yummly)


	3. Investigating A Whole New Cookbook pt. 2

**January 1990**

**Dursley Residence**

Vernon and Petunia were camped out in the living room ostensibly watching the evening news but were in reality, digesting their 'Harry Meal.' This month was Mexican cuisine and after seeing some pictures of the country and the cities on a poster board Harry had set up as part of something called a 'mood board' both were now considering taking a vacation there.

"Urm…oh, god…" Petunia let out a suppressed belch, "That was spicy."

Vernon had his eyes closed but responded, "As spicy as the Vietnamese stuff last month?"

"That was more hot than actually spicy. I think next year, we tell him that December should only be traditional British Christmas foods. I never want to move ever again but this has been fun. ' _Take a trip around the world and never leave your kitchen.'"_

Both laughed at that tag line.

* * *

Harry, in the meantime, was sitting in a chair in his bedroom going through his personally annotated cookbooks to determine what he should make next. The fajitas they'd just had were superb with the flour tortillas. A stray thought passed through his mind that would forever change how he would cook for the rest of his life when he overheard Petunia say that tag line.

' _I wonder if I could quietly suggest a vacation to some far-flung region of the world if I were to spice so-called 'normal' food with the spices of the intended destination? It would have to be some kind of food that is easily modifiable like a sandwich meat. But where would I want to go?'_

"Well, at any rate," he mused out loud, "I need to pick something for lunch at school tomorrow. Let's see. Ooh, a mango salsa? That sounds interesting. Would the grocery store carry something like that?"

He got up and thumped his way downstairs where he found his aunt asleep on the couch and his uncle on his way to 'slumberland' as well. He paused at the entry way before slipping back out and entering the kitchen. He took the pad of paper magnetically attached to the refrigerator and wrote down 'Mango?' on it as well as the missing ingredients for Carnitas and Pozole soup.

* * *

_**At school the next day…** _

Miss Bomberg was sniffing again, Harry noticed with a smirk. _'No doubt she could smell the leftovers from last night's dinner.'_ His musing was evidently correct when he caught her eyes and she gave him a dirty look that held no heat.

When he got out to lunch, several of the older kids crowded around him armed with pencils and paper. With an eyebrow quirked up, he inquired as to what they thought they were doing.

"We're going to take notes on what you're eating, Harry."

"Um…why?"

"So we can try and figure out what you made so we can get it at home." It was said as if it were blatantly obvious.

"Uh-huh," Harry replied slowly, "How about instead of staring at me while I eat, I just tell you the recipe name and you can go into the library and look it up yourself?" The bright grins that sprouted were all the indication he needed. So he told them the name of the book he used and the recipe he followed.

"Also, keep in mind that your ordinary British-owned grocery store won't have half of the ingredients in these recipes. You'll have to go to an ethnic specialty store. Here's the one I used," He gave them the name of the store as well.

Once armed with the new knowledge, the older kids thanked Harry and left him to eat in peace. Aaron dropped down next to him and again complained about how his American mother just didn't understand the concept of British foods. She had apparently given him yet another sandwich filled with something unrecognizable.

"Lemme see if I can recognize it," Harry offered as Aaron broke off a piece of his sandwich and handed it over.

Harry's face grew thoughtful as he mushed the food around in his mouth, "Creole, I'd wager. Tastes sort of like the seafood we had last June but more savory."

Aaron groaned, "She knows I like sweeter stuff. She's trying to kill me, I tell you."

Harry laughed, "I doubt she's trying to kill you. Probably trying to save your teeth and stuff. Dudley's got the same problem. He gains weight just by looking at a picture of sweets. As a result, anything I cook has to have natural sugars that our bodies digest easily."

"What did you bring this time?" Aaron asked in hopes of shifting the attention away from his mum and her weird ideas.

"Leftovers from last night's Mexican dinner. I made fajitas: spiced meat and chicken with flour tortillas, corn salsa, roasted bell peppers and onions. Wanna try a bit?" Aaron nodded rapidly and went to grab a fork. One bite later and his eyes closed and he sighed.

"Now, if my mum tried to give me this, I wouldn't have such a problem! That's _good!_ " He exclaimed then he frowned, "Now, I just got to figure out how to tell her without making it sound like an insult."

Harry shrugged, "Tell her to pick up the Mexican cookbooks from the library. That's where I've found everything."

* * *

_**At the dismissal bell…** _

"Harry? Hang back a moment, I want to speak with your aunt for a moment," Miss Bomberg said. The look of worry crept over his face, "Don't worry, it's nothing bad."

Petunia came up when she spotted Harry waving her over, "Harry?"

Miss Bomberg introduced herself, "Mrs. Dursley, I'm Harry's teacher, Regina Bomberg and I had a couple of questions to ask you about his cooking."

Petunia relaxed, "You want to know if he would give a demonstration on how to cook, too?"

Regina laughed, "I take it that this has come up before?"

Petunia smirked and crossed her arms smugly, "Every single time someone stands close enough to him to smell whatever spices he's been cooking with and hears about the recipe he made."

"Ha, no doubt! Well, some of the other teachers as well as the students were wondering if you'd give permission to allow Harry to do just that. We would hold it in the school cafeteria after school and only those with permission slips would be allowed to attend. I do know that one of the teachers would like to videotape the demonstration, if you're agreeable to that."

Petunia shrugged a shoulder and turned partially to Harry who looked like he was about to explode with excitement, "It's up to you since it's your skills." She turned back to Miss Bomberg, "Would we have to provide the ingredients?"

Regina shook her head, "Just give me a list and an idea as to where to go for them and we'll handle the cost provided there's nothing too exotic."

"Harry?"

"I want to do it! Which cuisine did you want to do? Any allergies I need to know about?"

Petunia held up a hand, stalling her excited nephew, "When would you want to hold this event?"

"Well, our Deputy Headmistress had suggested that it be held on a Friday so as to not interfere with anyone's weekend plans."

Petunia thought for a moment, trying to remember if they had anything planned, "I'll call you or the school if anything should change but I think this Friday should be fine."

Regina turned to Harry, "I think whatever you're making this month ought to be just fine. As for allergies, I don't think there's anyone who has a weird one besides the peanut one."

The two women shook hands on it and Harry let out a war whoop and practically floated to the car.

* * *

_**That Friday…** _

Harry walked into the cafeteria and stopped at the entrance, his mouth dropping and his eyes bugging out. The whole room was packed! Parents, teachers, and the students who were old enough to understand were all waiting for him. There was a teacher in the center aisle setting up a video camera and microphone. Both the Headmistress and Deputy were milling around chatting with the parents while the kids were racing around. The room quieted quickly once he was spotted and the audience took their seats.

Harry was ushered up to the raised platform set up for his demonstration. All of the pots and pans along with the utensils were waiting for his inspection. The ingredients were in coolers or in spice boxes. The Headmistress shook his hand in greeting and told him to just relax and have fun. He noticed the cameras suspended above him and wondered but that curiosity was sated when he saw the view of himself on the screen from above.

"Don't worry about this, Harry. You'll do just fine; just think of this as if it were just Vernon, Dudley and I," Petunia reassured him and gave him a hug. Harry stepped up to the front of the table and cleared his throat.

"Um, hi! Thank you all for coming to my first cooking show. I'm stunned to see just how many of you are interested in cooking or at least how I cook. What I plan on doing is walking everyone through a couple of basics before we get into the actual cooking itself."

With that, he took a fortifying breath and dove into explaining how to prepare each of the different ingredients like how to chop and dice the cilantro, the garlic cloves, how to portion out the oregano without using a teaspoon, how to split and deseed the chilies without getting the seeds everywhere and in their eyes and most importantly how to keep themselves from crying when chopping the onion.

"The goggles make you look weird but trust me that it will keep you from bowing out and ruining your timing on the meal. On top of that, the gloves keep you from burning your fingers if you have even the slightest cut on them."

He answered a few questions on what to do if they didn't have goggles (open a window and turn on a fan) then moved onto the lime, "One trick I found is to leave the lime at room temperature and when you need to juice it, press down as you roll it across the cutting board. This crushes the flesh inside to release the juice easier than if you were to just cut it. It also prevents it from squirting in the wrong direction."

"Prep time is only roughly 30 minutes if you already have the ingredients on hand; Cooking time is about an hour. Interesting side note for you gardeners, you can save and replant the seeds to grow your own chili bushes for next year. The same is true for nearly every vegetable you can find in the stores. My aunt and I grow our own tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, and just about everything else that grows in our climate. Now, you probably won't be able to grow mangos or other tropical fruits but in the meantime, it's a good tip to cut down on your grocery bills." There was a flurry of activity as the adults quickly wrote that down.

* * *

Harry continued with his demonstration on how to cook the pork by first cutting the meat into roughly 1-inch pieces and trimming away the excess fat. He seasoned the pork with a half teaspoon of salt and heated the oil in a large pan over medium high heat. Every now and then, he'd offer a suggestion or two of tips and tricks he'd discovered that either improved the quality or cut down on the cooking time. There were many an adult who were grateful that the show was being recorded…

Once the meat was browned and the all the pork back in the pan, he adjusted the heat to low and began working on the sauce. He demonstrated how to operate the food processor, adding the sliced peppers and the explained the reasoning why the seasonings had to go in a specific order and why it was a good idea to wait a second or two before adding the next (prevents clumping of dry ingredients.)

"Strain the pepper puree through a fine mesh sieve into the pan with the pork. Press on the puree to extract as much of the sauce as possible. This will ensure that there are no little bits of peppers or seeds in the chili."

He stirred the pot to coat the pork in the chili puree then added the chicken stock to combine everything. Turning the heat to high, he brought the pan to a boil then reduced the heat to maintain a strong simmer for an hour. While that was simmering, he turned his attention to the side dishes. For this he grabbed several cans of sweet corn and more chilis.

"Next, I'll show you how to make a roasted corn and chili salsa when you can't get regular ears of corn."

* * *

The demonstration was over and now Harry had to face the crowds. Petunia was in charge of handing out samples of the meal he'd cooked and he was eternally grateful. He was tired, overwhelmed by the amount of people and just wanted to sit down for a while.

"Thank you for this wonderful meal, Mr. Potter," the Headmistress complimented him then her face took on a sympathetic look, "You look like you're ready to crash for the night."

Harry took and released a deep breath, "I am ma'am but I still need to pack things up."

The Headmistress waved her hand dismissively, "You let us deal with that. Go sit down."

Harry wearily nodded and crashed out on a bench off to the side where he promptly fell into a light sleep. He wasn't out for long when he felt something tugging on him. He raised his hands to swat away whoever it was but there was no one there. He blearily opened his eyes and glanced around. _'I couldn't have been imagining it, could I?'_ There was another tug on his chest and that's when he noticed a bushy-haired girl with the most expressive brown eyes and nibbling on her lower lip standing close to her mother and father as they chatted with Petunia.

The girl turned and they locked eyes. Hers widened perceptibly and she hesitantly moved over to him.

"H, hi," She stammered nervously.

Harry smiled in his best reassured smile, "Hi, thanks for coming to this cooking show. Are you new here? I've never seen you before."

She nodded, causing her bushy hair to bounce, "Yes, we just moved here from London."

He held out his hand like he'd been taught and introduced himself, "I'm Harry. Harry Potter."

She shyly smiled back and shook his hand, "I'm Hermione. Hermione Granger."

* * *

**February 1990**

It turned out that not only had Hermione and her parents just moved in from London, they also moved into the house that had been up for sale just three houses down from where Harry lived! Harry, for the first time, was speechless. He shyly offered to show her around the school and around the neighborhood. When he learned that she loved to read, he took her to the local library and helped her get a new library card (even though she knew how to do it herself, she thought he was being adorable and sweet.)

The two kids quickly became inseparable, playing on the school yard and challenging each other in class. There'd been a minor instance of bullying from the other kids when she inadvertently demonstrated her superior knowledge in class but Harry and to some extent, Dudley shot them down.

"Listen, if you don't want her to make you feel stupid then you should study more! She's my friend and if I find out that you've been mean to her, I won't share any more of my recipes."

That was a clearly defined and horrifying threat if they'd ever heard one. No one bothered Hermione after that.

* * *

After school usually found Hermione making her way over to the Dursley house more often than not to do her homework and play with Harry and Dudley. Petunia didn't mind because it was nice to have another girl in the house and when Hermione's mum came searching for her daughter, she had another adult to talk to.

"It's funny really," Hermione's mum, Emma said one day, "Before moving here, it took my husband and I many attempts to get her to put down her books and go outside to play in the yard. She meets your nephew and now I can't get her to settle down when she gets home. What's his secret?"

Petunia snorted into her cup of tea, "I have no clue. Maybe it's the thrill of a new adventure every day or the opportunity of learning something new about our garden which is where they usually go to. Harry loves the garden and regularly helps me tend to it. You know, he's already started planning how he wants his future restaurant to look when he grows up. He says that he wants a large garden to grow the vegetables and seasonings and a greenhouse for the tropical stuff."

Emma was impressed and said so. Petunia nodded thoughtfully and they both watched as Harry sprung up out of the bushes that surrounded the backyard causing Hermione to screech and chase him around the yard.

* * *

Harry invited Hermione into their smallish greenhouse that was built up alongside the house. In here they had trays with dirt in them and little tags informing anyone what had been planted. There were little sprouts here and there. A curtained off area was near the back.

"What's back there, Harry?" Harry turned to look where she was pointing.

"Oh, that's where the motor to open the vents, the water pump and some storage is," he replied. He was nervous that she'd actually go take a look because it was also the hidden entrance to some magical plants that Uncle Remus had brought the last time he'd visited.

"So what do you have growing in here?" her curious eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"Um, I have cabbage, broccoli, I think we have a cauliflower in here somewhere, eggplant; some flowers my aunt wanted…"

"Neat. And you cook with all of these?"

"I try to. Whatever I don't cook will end up being sold to a former neighbor who operates a farmer's market downtown."

"I wish I knew how to cook as well as you do," she mumbled uncertainly.

His eyebrows rose, "Why don't you try? It's not all that difficult."

She gave him an exasperated look, "I've seen the things you cook and they look terribly complicated!"

He shrugged, "So start simply. Make a batch of biscuits or a cake. Just because I'm this talented doesn't mean that you have to start at my level."

"Could you teach me?"

"Weren't you there for the cooking show I did?"

She shook her head, "We came in at the end. Mummy and daddy had an appointment they couldn't get away from."

"Oh. Well, I guess I could show you a couple of simple things you can make but I'd need to see what's in your kitchen first."

* * *

**March 1990**

The audit into the Potter accounts were completed and the news wasn't good. Remus stopped in to share the bad news.

"First off, it seems that Harry wasn't supposed to be born a human boy. He was supposed to be born a monkey which explains his bursts of manic energy and desire to climb on everything." Everyone laughed while Harry stuck his tongue out at his uncle.

"Second, according to the audits, both you Petunia and Vernon created secret accounts to siphon off money from Harry's trust vault in the amounts of one thousand Galleons monthly. Petunia also _supposedly_ was doing some shady financing of questionable investments and the like. The dividends from which were routed through those dummy accounts. I think the one had you known as 'Horse Rose Farms' or some such phony alias. The one linked to Vernon was a fake company by the name of 'Fat Walrus Industries.' All the money then was laundered before being sent to its final account belonging to Dumbledore, again under an alias." Both adults were incensed at being insulted like that. Vernon's weight management was no one's business and even then he'd a pretty good handle on it.

Vernon growled menacingly at the report in his hands, "How much total was siphoned off and is there any way to recover it?"

Remus took a sip of his beer, "He's taken a total of five hundred thousand Galleons to date whether from the transfer of Galleons from Harry's vault or from the investments. The Goblins are looking into how to recover the money but their best estimate is that the money is just gone, most likely used as bribes to officials to get the things he wanted done or not done; I now know that the most recent anti-werewolf legislation was being funded by him. It burns me to know that the man I thought I knew and respected is turning out to be a conniving, evil ba…jerk."

Harry couldn't wrap his head around all of this. He asked to be excused. After he fled the room, Petunia asked Remus what the latest was on the case of Sirius Black.

"I sent off the information to the DMLE and had a chat with Director Bones but at this point, I think they're just doing information gathering. It's what I would do before trying to move him to another location or setting him free."

"Remus, based on this information, I'm seriously doubting whether or not to allow Harry to go to that blasted school. Seeing how much money he's got in his vault, I'm sure that we could hire a tutor or two."

Remus held up his hand in submission, "At this point I would agree with you but we still have time. I'm just glad that Albus has been repeatedly denied access to the main vault. No telling what kind of nightmare he'd start if he'd had access to that kind of money."

"What else is in there besides money?" Vernon asked.

"Books on ancient and forgotten magic, weapons, ancient examples of pottery, I think the furniture from the Godric's Hollow ended up there after that Halloween, bunch of other ancient stuff that James would talk about."

"Just how old _is_ the Potter family?" Vernon wondered.

"The earliest known reference is to a man named Linfred of Stinchcombe back in the twelfth century. His nickname was 'The Potterer' which over time became shortened down to Potter. He was a pioneering potioneer credited with creating many medicinal potions," Remus informed them as he slipped into lecture mode.

"Stinchcombe? Where's that?" Petunia asked curiously.

"Gloucestershire. He had a reputation as an eccentric, absent-minded man but his helpful nature and affability made him universally liked even by his muggle neighbors. He got the nickname of 'The Potterer' because of his tendencies to 'potter around his garden with all of his funny plants.' The potions that he was best known for eventually became known as 'Skele-gro' and 'Pepperup' both of whom are widely used to this day.

Vernon was intrigued, "So that must be where Harry got his talent with cooking and gardening. It sounds like this potion making thing is similar to cooking."

Remus cocked his finger at him, "It wouldn't surprise me in the least. Think of potion making as medieval chemistry and you wouldn't be too far off."

* * *

It was two days after the 'Financial Report from Hell' that the relationship between Harry and Hermione was forever altered. They were chasing each other around in an indoor play zone during a school trip when Harry slipped on something and slammed his head onto the edge of a trampoline. Hermione screamed when she saw the blood and tried pressing on his head with her hands hoping to stop the gushing. Her hands suddenly glowed a golden light as the blood flow slowed to a trickle and stopped. The teacher and attendant came rushing up at that moment and congratulated her on the quick thinking of applying pressure to the wound.

When Harry woke up in the hospital a couple of hours later, he saw through his barely opened eyes that he was surrounded by his aunt and cousin along with a couple of nurses, Hermione (who was holding his hand) and their teacher. Hermione was the first to notice that he'd regained consciousness.

"Urg…"

"Harry!" she squealed, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

"Blargh, I don't wanna ride the pony…" he mumbled deliriously.

"Harry? Can you hear me?" The doctor asked gently.

Harry slowly nodded his head and cracked an eye open before slamming it shut again. He tried to turn away from the light but it was everywhere.

"Too…much light, I'm dying…" he murmured.

"I'm sorry, Harry but it needs to be on," he heard someone say before feeling something like a sheet being placed over his head.

"Dudley, what are you doing?" he heard Petunia say.

"He thinks he's dying so I'm covering him up so I can go home and steal his recipes."

Harry yanked down the sheet and glared at his cousin, who grinned unrepentantly. He was examined and cleared by the medical staff that he'd be able to go home as soon as the paperwork was finished; Petunia followed them out to handle that. When it was just Dudley and Hermione left, Dudley asked about the strange glow that she'd produced when she tried to slow the blood down.

Hermione was blinking rapidly, clearly trying to come up with a believable explanation. Both boys glanced at each other and waited with amusement on both their faces.

"Um… that was… uh…"

"I think that was a case of accidental magic," Dudley theorized, tapping his chin, "what say you, Harry?"

"I agree and I'm thankful that she did."

Hermione's eyes widened comically, "You know what it was I did?"

"Not really but Harry here can do all sorts of stuff besides cooking." She turned to him with wide eyes.

Harry just shrugged then glanced at his cousin, "We're going to have to tell Aunt Petunia and Uncle Remus about this, you know."

* * *

The revelation that Hermione Granger was a witch floored Petunia; who immediately set off for the Granger's house and Remus when he'd been called. He apparated over immediately to discuss the ramifications of the news and to see how Harry was doing after his ordeal.

"I'm fine, Uncle Remus!" he whined and tried ineffectually to wave the older man's hands away from his head.

"I just want to make sure, Cub. You're the last of my extended pack and it scares me to think how close you were to being in danger."

Harry sat there and grumbled like the embarrassed kid he was. He felt something blow over his hair like a breeze before catching Dudley laughing his butt off about something. He ran to the bathroom and saw that his hair had been transformed into something hideously pink with sparkles!

"Uncle Remus!"

* * *

_**At the Granger's house…** _

"Oh, Petunia! Welcome, can I help you with something?" Emma asked as she greeted the other woman at the door. Petunia was smiling so it couldn't be anything bad, she hoped.

"I just heard that your daughter has an interesting talent of her own that she shares in part with Harry," Petunia began, much to Emma's confusion. "When did she start displaying accidental magic?"

Of all the possible questions she could've been asked, that one ranked near the absolute bottom in Emma's mind and it showed on her face as she did a marvelous impression of a fish out of water. She absent-mindedly led Petunia to the living room couch and sat down.

"Wha… what do you mean 'accidental magic?" she stammered and grew worried; they might have to move again, especially in light of what happened in their old neighborhood.

Petunia could see the mounting fear and patted the other woman on the arm reassuringly, "It's nothing to be upset about. Harry's been doing the same thing for years. It's just nice to know that there are others like us."

Emma suddenly got to her feet and paced, "So you're not going to call us freaks?"

Petunia got a sardonic look on her face, "Why would I do that? My own sister, Harry's mother, was a witch and there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, yes, I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't be one as well but sometimes it crops up in families."

Emma sank back down in her chair, "My sister, Hermione's Aunt Cathy had this odd thing she did every now and then. She liked to dress up as a witch every Halloween and other times during the year now that I think on it."

"See? Nothing to be afraid of unless this Aunt Cathy was a mean-spirited person."

Emma half-smiled, "No, she wasn't unless you were talking about sports. She had this fanaticism about some strange foreign sport known as Quid…quid something."

"Quidditch?" Petunia supplied.

Emma clicked her fingers, "That was it! You know of it?"

Petunia waggled her hand, "Somewhat, my sister Lily would occasionally talk about it. So anyways, knowing that your daughter is a witch is a good thing. It means we get to stop hiding stuff whenever she comes over!"

The two women chatted until Dan Granger; Emma's husband came home and was filled in with what occurred.

* * *

**June 1990 to August 1990**

A lot had happened between March and June of that year. The library was suddenly the hot ticket location to go after class and cookbooks were being snapped up quickly as soon as they hit the shelves. It got so bad that waiting lists appeared. The parents were amused by the whole thing; it was nice seeing their children enthused by a topic other than the usual boy bands or other mindless media types. Harry's popularity had skyrocketed to the point where he couldn't go anywhere near the cafeteria without a crowd of kids following him. Miss Bomberg spoke with the Deputy Headmistress and she held a school-wide assembly on the problems with harassment.

Things eventually settled down as the children's attention spans wandered off to the newest and coolest.

On the magical side, Remus heard from his contact within the Ministry that Sirius Black had been removed from Azkaban to an undisclosed location. This could only mean (he hoped) that his case had taken the next step towards a trial. He'd also started teaching Harry, Hermione (once he was introduced to the Grangers and had their permission) and to some extent Dudley the basics on magic. He couldn't really give them a comprehensive amount as the tourist season was approaching and he needed to get the farm and campsite prepared but he did leave them with books and some homework on subjects like magical theory, arithmancy, ancient runes, potions and herbology. Any of the subjects that required wands, he and Petunia figured that they'd leave that for when (or if) they got to Hogwarts.

Dumbledore had found out that his illicit accounts were being found and shut down by the Goblins in Gringotts as it was explained to Remus. The wily Goblins were highly amused at the old man's attempts to finagle his way out of trouble only to find out that they had him over the proverbial barrel. They recounted some of the angry (and loud) deprecations on their births, parentage and a host of other things uttered by Albus in his rage of being found out.

"I'm wondering if our next step should be to go to that newspaper the magical world reads to further expose Albus' misdeeds. There's got to be _some_ backlash if it were known that the supposed 'Leader of the Light' was stealing from 'The-Boy-Who-Lived.'" Vernon commented one evening during dinner. This month it was Moroccan.

Petunia tilted her head in thought, "That sounds like a possibility. It would certainly shed some light where he doesn't want it and potentially lead to him being removed from power."

* * *

When regular school ended, the three kids kept going with their magical education. At least Harry and Hermione did; Dudley got bored with it especially since, in his opinion, he'd never get the full experience of it when the other two left for Hogwarts. That didn't mean that he was jealous of what Harry and Hermione had; far from it but he wanted to focus more on his music and the possibility of being allowed to go to a music camp this summer. The sounds of him practicing filled the house while the other two sequestered themselves in the kitchen figuring out how to make the potion assignments Remus had given them and also making little notations in their textbooks on alterations or improvements as they went along.

Pretty much the only time the three of them got together to work on a project was when Harry and Hermione's etiquette lessons were held. One other subject that was suggested was for the kids to take up ballroom dancing like the waltz and other classical dances. When whined about, Harry was given the explanation that magical society loved their galas and everyone of a certain social class was expected to know how to dance.

"The Potters used to be and still are in some circles, the highest ranked family in magical Britain," Remus explained during a weekend phone call. "It's also a great way to make contacts for whatever project you have in mind, politically."

Dudley would occasionally play the part of someone asking (or pushing) their way in for a dance, sometimes he even got funny by asking for a dance then taking _Harry_ around the dance floor much to the amusement of the adults.

* * *

When June finally rolled around and school let out for the summer, Dudley had been packed and shipped off to that music camp he'd been begging for, Harry spent the months experimenting with combining potions with cooking, seeing if there was a way to make some of the nastier tasting ones more palatable. Hermione and her family made their annual trip to the continent.

Harry was in the garden when he heard the sibilant sounds of a snake hunting through the bushes. He put down his trowel and listened carefully to where he thought the voice was coming from.

" **Here fishy, fishy, fishy… here fishy, fishy, fishy…."** Harry peered into the bush closest to their small pond where he spotted a small grass snake holding motionless over the water.

" **What are you waiting for?"** Harry whispered.

" **Waiting for a fish to come close."** The snake replied, not realizing that it was a human it was talking to.

" **Uh-huh, well there's no fish in that pond. It's a watering hole used for the garden."**

If a snake could show emotions, the small grass snake looked put out. It turned to thank the other parselmouth and its mouth dropped open. Harry smirked at the reaction.

" **Hello. Yes, I am a Speaker; yes, I do live here. No, you may not become a resident. Yes, I'm sure."** Harry said as in rote.

" **Well, I guess I'm not the only one to stumble across you then. My apologies, Speaker. I'm so embarrassed."** The snake would've blushed if it could before tipping its tail to Harry and slithering off.

"Harry?" he heard Petunia call out. He stood up and dusted off his hands and knees.

"Another one?" she asked and he nodded, "The usual questions and answers?" Again, a nod. She waved her acknowledgement and headed back inside.

* * *

When Harry's 10th birthday arrived, he was forbidden from entering the kitchen. Not because they had any sort of secret appliance gift but because he had to host his friends at the park and he couldn't do that if he were in the kitchen. They had the party catered (read commercial pizza and cake) along with the usual games and activities. Vernon whispered to him that the ' _other_ _gifts'_ would be handed out later.

Despite it being right smack in the middle of tourist season, Remus took the day off to attend Harry's birthday and took a lot of photos. He was now in contact with Sirius and had even visited once during the latter's rehabilitation. He promised Sirius that he'd make sure to share said photos with him at the next visit.

Later, when they were handing out the ' _other gifts'_ as Vernon called them, Hermione gave him a book. Normally, this wouldn't have caused much of a response but it was the title and content of said book that caused a reaction. The title was, "The Adventures of Harry Potter and the Naughty Nundu." It was clearly a children's book, no more than a paragraph or two per page but the illustrations were magically animated and told the story of how the 'Great and Powerful Harry Potter' had to save a village from the Naughty Nundu. From a literary sense, it was a load of silly nonsense as the titular character was no more than about five years old (or thereabouts). It was worrying, at least to the adults, because there was no mention of the profits of said book anywhere in their financial reports.

Remus caught the eyes of both Dursley adults, "I'll look into it."

* * *

**Recipes/Cuisines used:**

Moroccan (mentioned only)

Chile Colorado (Pinterest)

Pozole soup (Pinterest)

Mango salsa (Pinterest)

Corn and pepper salsa (Yummly)

Carnitas (Yummly)

Fajitas (Pinterest)


	4. A Dog, A Bumblebee & Aunt Cathy

**Chapter 4: A Dog, A Bumblebee and Aunt Cathy**

**During the conversation between Petunia and Emma Granger after the discovery that Hermione is a witch**

"So how did you not know that Hermione was displaying accidental magic if your sister is also a witch?" Petunia asked Emma.

Emma looked chagrined, "I kept hoping it was something else. You know something that could be explained as something better than 'Your daughter's a witch!' Like maybe, 'You're being haunted by a poltergeist!'" Her laugh was a bit strained.

"And your sister? What's happening there? Didn't she explain it?"

Emma shook her head, "Cathy is almost ten years younger than me and I was already at the university when she began to display anything of note. I wasn't at home when that woman from the school showed up. She stressed to our parents that magic needed to be kept a secret from even close family members lest someone get the wrong idea. I only got the barest hint that something was off whenever I went to visit. My mum and dad kept saying that they were forbidden from telling me the whole story." Petunia rolled her eyes at that.

"I've always thought that was the dumbest idea they could've come up with. I mean, who could we tell unless we wanted to be looked upon as touched in the head?" Emma gestured with her hands as if saying 'Right?'

"So if you don't mind me asking, but why were you forced to leave your previous home?" Petunia inquired gently.

Emma looked down at her hands, "There was some misunderstanding between us and a couple of neighbors who accused us of being Satan worshippers whenever something strange happened around Hermione. She'd occasionally come home chattering about moving things around the classroom when no one else was watching, the neighborhood cats started following her around and leaving 'gifts' on our porch. Then there was the time that Hermione conjured a ball of fire in her hands and offered to light a cranky grill during a neighborhood picnic." She turned pink during the memory.

"So anyway, Cathy went to that school up north and was sorted into one of their houses. I forget which one; it's the one with the yellow and black as their colors. She and I have as good of a relationship as any two sisters can have with each other despite her ability. I ought to call her and let her know the good news. If you wouldn't mind meeting her too?"

"Sure."

Emma grabbed the phone and dialed up her sister, "Hey, Cathy. Listen… no, everything's fine here. I'm sitting here chatting with a neighbor of ours and I was wondering if you could…yes, I need some sisterly support. The backyard is clear if you want to _pop_ in... Cathy? Yes, you heard right. Wait until you get here, all will be explained. Ok, see you then. Bye."

Emma hung up and stared at Petunia with wide, mirthful eyes before the two of them burst out into giggles, "Oh my, I can just imagine the look on her face!"

* * *

_**A moment later…** _

Cathy Richardson arrived in a swirl of magical energy with nary a pop associated with traditional apparition and knocked on the sliding glass door. Emma opened it with a knowing grin on her face and invited her sister in.

"Emma? How…?"

"How did I figure out what you were doing was magic?" Cathy dumbly nodded her head as she accepted a glass of wine and slowly sat down in an empty chair. She noticed the other woman smirking at her discomfort.

Waving her hand at Petunia, "Petunia Dursley is the sister of a witch and the aunt of a young wizard. Surprised me like you wouldn't believe when she came over and asked me when I noticed that Hermione started displaying accidental magic."

Cathy's eyes bugged out and she nearly choked on her sip of wine, "Hermione's a witch too?!"

Both Emma and Petunia had wide grins, Emma chuckling at her sister's reaction.

"Where, where is she?" Cathy inquired, wiping her chin of the sputtered wine.

Emma shrugged and glanced at Petunia, "Probably at her house playing with her friend Harry."

Petunia agreed, "He's probably trying to teach her how to cook again. The kitchen's probably a disaster zone; it was every time he tried to teach Dudley how to cook. I still don't know how the banana mash ended up on the ceiling." Emma snorted.

Petunia took the phone and dialed her home number, "Hi, Dudley. Yeah, are Harry and Hermione around?" She rolled her eyes as she heard her son on the other end yell out at the top of his lungs for Harry to pick up the phone. "Hi, Harry. Yes, I did want to speak with you. Are you busy with anything right now that can't be put off for a while? Oh? Okay, can you just put it in the fridge? Good, I need you and Hermione to come back to her house. Her Aunt Cathy is here and I want to introduce you to her. Okay, see you in a few, bye."

* * *

The trio of adult women were greeted with the force of nature of an excited Hermione as she burst through the door and rushed into the living room squealing out, "Aunt Cathy!" She tackled her aunt and started babbling at high speed about all the things she'd learned since they had last seen each other. Harry, in the meantime, entered at a more sedate pace and closed the door behind him and sidled up to his aunt. She smiled at him and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"Aunt Cathy is apparently a witch too, Harry." Petunia whispered into his ear. His eyes widened but remained silent.

Once they got Hermione to release her aunt and settled into a chair (Harry sat down next to her), Emma got the conversation started by recapping their earlier conversation.

Cathy responded more sedately, "Well! That _would_ explain things! Ha! Well, this is a relief on _so_ many levels. I can finally stop trying to couch my terms in muggle-friendly words. Whew! Are you a witch as well, Petunia?"

Petunia shook her head, "Unfortunately not, but I was there when my sister, Lily had her meeting along with our parents and Minerva McGonagall."

Cathy got a sardonic grin, "She's a right trip, ain't she? Did she do the whole 'turn herself into a cat and turn the table into a pig' routine?" Petunia nodded with a remembering grin.

"Yeah, I remember that shock, though to this day I still don't understand why anyone would want to change a table into a pig? You can't eat it." She shrugged it off.

Cathy was in thought for a moment, "Petunia? What was your maiden name? Your sister's first name sounds familiar for some reason."

"Evans."

"I sort of remember a Lily Evans. A year younger than me, she was. She was sorted into Gryffindor House, if I recall right. Auburn hair, luminous green eyes, fiery temper when riled. Didn't she get married as well?"

Petunia laughed, "Yup, that's my sister! She ended up marrying a boy from her year, James Potter."

Cathy stared at Petunia as her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened then slid over to Harry who was sitting there quietly, taking in everything. She pointed over to Harry.

"She married James…Potter. I remember them having a son… Harry?" He smiled at her and waved his hand; "Petunia? Are you telling me that your nephew is _The-Boy-Who-Lived_?!" Cathy near shrieked.

Petunia returned with a grimace, "We don't like that moniker. It just serves to remind us of what and who was lost." Cathy apologized to both.

"I'm sorry, Petunia, Harry. It's just that's what everyone calls him. Wow…So this is where Dumbledore left him?"

Petunia lowered her head, "We also don't like any mention of Dumbledore. That man has been doing some pretty questionable things in regards to the Potter vaults and a host of other actions." She waved it off dismissively when she spotted their curious looks.

* * *

"You're pretty quiet there, Harry. I remember your father and the only time he was quiet was if he was asleep or under a silencing charm." Cathy chuckled.

Harry shrugged, "You didn't ask me anything." Everyone laughed at his quip.

Cathy bobbled her head in acknowledgment, "Fair enough, silly. Fine; how are you, Harry? How do you like living here in the non-magical world? Do you ever get to visit Diagon Alley or any of the other magical sites?"

"I'm doing pretty well. I've never been anywhere really magical unless you count Wolf's Bay Campground as magical or the zoo. I've not been to that alley you mentioned."

"Wolf's Bay Campground? I've never heard of it."

"It's in Cornwall near the tip. Just a stone's throw from Penzance," Petunia interjected then waved Harry on.

"It's also got some great fishing and foraging for seafood! My Uncle Remus owns it. The last time we went, I caught a huge lobster!" He launched into a detailed description of the things they saw there and the food he cooked. Cathy blinked and glanced over at Petunia who giggled.

"Yep, he cooks. He does such a good job at it, he was asked to hold a demonstration at his school. It was videotaped and featured in a human interest story on the local news just recently. It's also where these two met for the first time."

"Wow… wait, Remus? I remember a Remus… Lupin I think, from Gryffindor too. Always hung out with your father and three other boys? Called themselves 'The Marauders' or some such thing? He had some kind of recurring medical problem if I remember correctly."

Harry beamed, "That's my uncle! He also has a nickname of 'Moony.'"

Cathy's mouth was practically scraping the floor, she was not only in the presence of Magical Britain's Savior but also the nephew of the guy she had _such a crush on_ in school!

* * *

Just then the doorbell rang…

Emma answered the door and saw an older woman in an ill-fitting and outdated dress standing before her, "Yes? May I help you?"

The woman smiled, "Are you Emma Granger? Mother of Hermione Granger? My name is Minerva McGonagall."

The others in the living room heard the eruption of loud laughter coming from the front door and Emma's voice drifted back to them.

"Hey, Cathy? How would you describe that Deputy Headmistress at that school of yours?"

Cathy's face was a picture of curiosity, "Um, older woman. I'd say something appearing to be about seventy or so. Would always purse her lips into something resembling a thin line when displeased about something, rather strict in discipline. Why? Who is it?"

Emma came back into the living room leading the other woman. Cathy took one look at her and burst out laughing!

"Hello, Professor! Fancy meeting you here."

Minerva McGonagall shook her head in exasperation, "I figured something was up when Mrs. Granger here didn't seem surprised to see me. Oh! I didn't know that you were having guests. I think what I have to discuss with you should be kept private." She motioned towards Petunia and Harry who both hadn't turned around yet.

Emma seemed to be sucking on her lower lip, trying (and failing) to keep from laughing at Minerva's discomfiture, "Professor McGonagall, I would like to introduce you to someone you probably already know as well. This is my neighbor Petunia Dursley and her nephew…Harry Potter." The two got up and turned to greet her.

There was only one thing Minerva could do. She fainted…

* * *

_**Meanwhile at the Ministry for Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement…** _

Director Amelia Bones gathered up the last of the paperwork so she could lead the interrogation of one Sirius Black, accused murderer of twelve muggles and Peter Pettigrew as well as being the supposed betrayer of James and Lily Potter. He was down in their holding cells recovering from his incarceration in Azkaban. When she'd learned he'd been dumped there without a trial, her indignation at how the laws could be circumvented was heard, loudly.

She entered the interrogation room, Black was already there. He was chained to his chair and his wrists to the table in front of him. His hair was a matted mess as was his prison uniform. He wasn't wearing any shoes and it looked like his feet were badly mangled.

"Robards? Why wasn't he given medical treatment? He's an absolute mess."

Robards shifted uncomfortably, "We were given conflicting orders ma'am."

Her eyes narrowed and she growled out, "By whom?"

"Senior Undersecretary Umbridge, ma'am."

If Amelia hadn't been holding onto her files, she would've thrown her hands up in disgust. Shaking her head instead, she ordered the Auror to go get one of their departmental Healers then sat down across from Black.

"While we're waiting, I need to know if you've requested a lawyer." Black shook his head, his eyes shining slightly; a slight grin ghosted his lips.

"It's good to see you again, Amelia," he whispered as if unsure about being allowed to speak out loud.

She smiled comfortingly back at him, "It's good to see you too, Siri."

Sirius glanced around the room; a slight twitch appeared in the corner of his eyes, "What's going on?"

"Before I answer that, do you want me to contact a lawyer for you?" He waved it off.

"I don't have anything to be able to afford one and we both know that lawyers who work pro bono are near worthless. Go ahead." Just then Auror Robards returned with the Healer who began casting diagnostic charms over Sirius. The news, while not good, weren't unexpected.

"He's got all the usual sort of problems associated with long-term incarceration. If you're going to question him, keep the questioning to no more than thirty minutes." Amelia acknowledged the Healer that she would.

"Okay. Alright start the quill. This is Director Amelia Bones leading the investigation into the suspected Death Eater activities of Sirius Orion Black on this date of August 12th, 1990. (Sirius' eyes glistened at the mention of the date. Nearly nine years in that hellhole.) In attendance are Auror John Robards and Healer Tabitha Morris. Sirius Black, you have been accused of the following crimes: membership in the illegal terrorist organization known as the Death Eaters, known Secret-Keeper and Betrayer of James and Lily Potter along with their son, Harry James Potter to the Dark Wizard known as Lord Voldemort on 31 October, 1981; finally you are accused of mass murdering twelve muggles and the wizard Peter Pettigrew three days later in the township of Manchester. Will you submit to the use of Veritaserum?"

"I will."

"Let the record show that Healer Morris is administering three drops of veritaserum from vial number THX-1138." Healer Morris indicated that she had indeed administered the ordered amount. Sirius' eyes glazed over as the serum took hold.

"Let's begin the questioning…"

* * *

_**Later in the office of Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic…** _

Cornelius looked up from the transcripts he was reading of Amelia's interrogation of the criminal Black with narrowed and disbelieving eyes. Everything that everyone had suspected of the man apparently wasn't even close to the truth. He'd done everything he could to delay the questioning, even going so far as to hint to his Undersecretary, Dolores Umbridge, that Black shouldn't be given medical treatment so that his statement could be dismissed as the ravings of a mad man. _'Damn Amelia for bringing that departmental Healer. I should reduce their funding so they have to get rid of that resource. Albus is going to be pissed…'_

He continued to read:

AB: "Please state your name and lie to me that one plus one equals three?"

SB: "Sirius Orion Black. One plus one equals th…thr…two!"

AB: "Let the record show that the veritaserum is working properly. Now, Mr. Black you stand accused of being a Death Eater, what say you?"

SB: "I am not now nor have I ever been a Death Eater."

AB: "Let the record show that the accused has also been checked for yet does not show, the tattoo known as the Dark Mark."

AB: "Next, you've been accused of being the Betrayer of James Charlus Potter and Lily Marie Potter nee Evans and their son, Harry James Potter to the Dark Wizard known as Lord Voldemort. Is this true?"

SB: "I would never betray them. We were as close as brothers."

AB: "Yet you were their Secret Keeper when they went into hiding?"

SB: "I was the decoy. James and Lily had wanted me to be the official Secret Keeper but Albus convinced them to switch to our other friend, Peter Pettigrew."

AB: "That would be Albus Dumbledore?"

SB: "Yes. He was the one who cast the Fidelius Charm on the Potter Cottage to hide them away from Voldemort."

AB: "Why did they want you as the decoy?"

SB: "It was Albus' idea. He thought Peter was too weak a wizard to keep Voldemort, or anyone really, out of his mind. Peter was also a weak wizard in magical ability and would easily succumb to an attack. Albus suggested that I and the Potters let the public believe that I was the Secret Keeper to draw attention away from Peter."

AB: "Did you know why Albus Dumbledore wanted the Potters to go into hiding?"

SB: "He never said specifically but did let slip that there was a prophecy between the Potters and a Dark Lord."

AB: "Do you know what was the wording in the prophecy?"

SB: "I never found out. James just said that it involved their son, Harry or so Albus hinted."

AB: (Sounds of shuffling papers) "Now let's move onto that Halloween night. How did you know that the Potters were attacked?"

SB: "I suddenly remembered where they lived. I had been in the process of going over to Peter's house so I could bring him his weekly groceries. When I got to his house, Peter was missing yet there was no evidence of a struggle. I grew worried and right then I remembered the location of Potter Cottage. I drove my motorcycle as fast as I could but I was too late. The house was practically destroyed and there were people starting to gather around. I cast a muggle-repelling charm to keep out the crowd and ran inside. I found James at the base of the stairs (sobbing sounds were heard); he was already dead. I raced upstairs towards the nursery in search of Lily and Harry. I found the nursery wall blown out; there was evidence of a magical explosion everywhere. I remember seeing a black cloak and…Lily laying there on the floor, one hand still grasping the crib."

(Sounds of sniffling were heard)

AB: "What happened next?"

SB: "I heard some noise coming from the crib. Harry was sitting there staring mutely at his mother, blood dripping down from a wound on his forehead. I picked him up and tried to comfort him. I cast a healing charm on his head to stop the blood. I then heard a noise and heavy footsteps coming up. It was Hagrid who entered next."

AB: "As in Rubeus Hagrid? Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts?"

SB: "That's him. He told me that he'd been sent by Albus to take Harry with him back to the school. I don't know how Albus knew that Harry had lived but when I protested, Hagrid told me in no uncertain terms that his orders were to take Harry. I don't know what came over me; I am Harry's Sworn Godfather, his care was my responsibility."

AB: "What happened next?"

SB: "After giving Hagrid my motorcycle to take Harry, I became overcome with an overwhelming anger at Peter. The rat betrayed James and Lily! I swore to avenge them and set off after the rat."

AB: "Why do you keep calling Peter Pettigrew a rat?"

SB: "It's his animagus form. He turns into a common brown garden rat."

(Sounds of disbelief heard in the background)

AB: "How and where did he learn to be an animagus so soon out of school?"

SB: (chuckling darkly) "We both, along with James learned while we were still _in_ school. Figured out how to do it during our fifth year. Peter's a rat; I'm a dog that resembles a Grim. James is a stag. We did it to keep our fourth friend company during his monthly transformations."

AB: "I am discontinuing this line of questioning as it does not apply to the charges. What happened when you finally caught up to Peter?"

SB: "I yelled at him when I spotted him walking down the street as if he'd not betrayed his best friend and family. He yelled back and accused me of betraying the Potters. We both pulled our wands, not caring that there were muggles in the area. We traded spells; I was limiting mine to stunners so I could bring him in. He cast something behind me and the world exploded. When I came to, he was standing over me with a demented grin on that twitchy rat face of his. He purposely showed me him cutting off his own finger before transforming and disappearing into a sewer. The Aurors arrived moments later. I don't remember much after that."

(Sounds of shuffling papers heard)

AB: "Why did you not come to the Aurors with your information and instead going after Pettigrew yourself?"

SB: "I didn't know who to trust at the time. I would've gone to you but you weren't available at the time."

AB: "Very well. This ends the questioning of Sirius Orion Black. Healer, please administer the antidote. End recording."

* * *

**Wolf's Bay Campground**

The headlines of the _Daily Prophet_ were screaming to the heavens that Sirius Black, once thought to be the right hand man to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was in fact innocent of the crimes he'd been accused of and had been exonerated during a recent interrogation. Remus sat back in his chair and cried tears of relief that his friend had been cleared and would be getting the proper care and rehabilitation he so desperately needed.

He had just finished re-reading the article once more when his private floo flared green and a face appeared in the fire.

"Hello. I'm looking for Remus Lupin. I was told he could be reached at this address."

Remus knelt down, "I'm Remus Lupin. Who are you?"

"Sage Whitewater of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Prisoner Rehabilitation Division. According to our paperwork, you were listed as point of contact for Sirius Black. May I come through?" He accepted and stepped back. There was a whirl of green fire and a witch with blondish hair stepped out.

"Ah, thank you Mr. Lupin. Those firecalls are a pain on the knees." Remus chuckled briefly but said nothing else. "Anyways, Mr. Black has asked us to contact you to inquire if you would amenable to taking him in with you after he's been released from medical care?"

"That's fine by me. I was hoping he would've been allowed to choose where and who to go to."

She marked down his answer on a questionnaire attached to a clipboard, "What is it that you do here?"

"I run a campground and fishing lodge for muggles." She looked intrigued.

"Any sort of criminal activity in the past 6 months?"

"By me? None. By the market in town? Yes, they're charging more for bog rolls than they used to."

Sage laughed at his mock outrage, "You're funny. Ok, if Mr. Black is released into your care, what sort of facilities do you have here to keep him from committing a crime of any sort?"

Remus rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, if you're asking if I have a jail cell, that would be no. I do and will have a place for him to stay and a list of chores that need to be done."

Sage asked to inspect the property and was given a tour. After seeing the grounds and what sort of jobs Sirius would have to accomplish (plus she got to meet and pet Woolsey), she officially concluded that Sirius Black should have no trouble keeping on the straight and narrow.

* * *

_**Back at the Grangers' house…** _

Minerva came to and thought she'd been dreaming about meeting Harry Potter. When she opened her eyes and spotted said boy sitting not three feet away from where she'd been laying on a couch, she thought that she was still hallucinating!

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Professor." Cathy replied as she assisted her former professor into an upright sitting position then handing her a glass of wine, "I never figured you for the fainting type."

Gesturing slightly at Harry who was sitting next to a bushy haired girl and discussing something over a large book Minerva replied, "It's not every day that one is confronted by sudden appearance of Harry Potter, Miss Richardson."

Cathy just grinned widely at the mild rebuke.

Blinking rapidly to clear her eyes, Minerva peered around the room before settling on Emma, "I guess in light of this revelation, I won't have to give you the standard presentation of informing you that your daughter is a witch and has been offered a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"

Emma smiled warmly and shook her head, "No, but thank you Professor."

"Pro…Professor McGonagall?" came a nervous voice. She turned and saw Harry looking at her with Lily's eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Does Hermione have to go to your school now?"

Minerva shook her head, "I'm afraid not. She has to start next year because the laws state that a child's eleventh birthday must be August 31st or earlier before they're allowed to start at Hogwarts." She saw Harry visibly relax at that.

"Thank you, she's my best friend and I wouldn't want her to be all alone in a new school. She's not even started at my school yet."

Cathy must've made a noise because all eyes swung over to her, "That's the clearest signs of a future Hufflepuff, if I've ever heard."

Minerva looked scandalized, "Oh, please Miss Richardson. Everyone _knows_ that Potters always get sorted into Gryffindor."

"Really? Prior to this century, Potters were sorted to wherever they were needed the most. Only since the constant instances of conflict do the children get sorted into Gryffindor. Now that we're in a time of peace, Harry will most likely get sorted into Hufflepuff in an effort to bring everyone together to continue the time for healing and offer the hand of friendship."

Harry raised his hand and instinctively Minerva answered, "Which House is it that's closest to the kitchens?"

Minerva peered at him curiously, "Why do you want to know that? Thinking of slipping in and cadging a snack late at night?"

Petunia and Hermione laughed. Petunia replied that he was more likely the one to _make_ the snacks for a late night meal!

"Really? He cooks?" Harry rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Why does everyone keep asking that?"

* * *

**A week later**

Sirius Black, newly exonerated and freed man, stepped out of the floo into the living room of a quaint cabin. Inhaling deeply, his nose picked up the strong scent of his remaining best friend as well as hints of something sheep-like and the ocean. Remus stood in front of him with a wide, welcoming smile and his arms held out wide.

"Welcome to Wolf's Bay, Padfoot!"

Padfoot grinned back at his friend, "Thanks Moony. Why do I smell sheep? Thinking of guarding a henhouse next?"

Moony laughed, "Nah, you're probably smelling Woolsey. He's an alpaca and yes, you can meet him. No sheep though. I hope you like fish; we're having that for dinner."

Padfoot just kept smiling. Fish sounded a lot better than the hospital stuff and the less said about the swill from the prison, the better.

"So where do I bunk?"

* * *

Remus gave Sirius the knut tour and introduced his friend to Woolsey. He explained that the alpaca came with the farm and campground when he'd bought both of them and it would've been sad to see such a friendly creature go to a ranch far away.

"The campers love him; I've found him cuddled up in their sites or in their tents should they accidentally leave one open. He's never made a real nuisance of himself, but keeping track of him has been a challenge. I had to resort to using a tracking charm on his collar. Fortunately, he's never strayed into town."

"So what sort of things are you going to have me do? I hope I won't be responsible for cleaning toilets?"

"Heh, you might have to if I get busy with my work. I was thinking of having you work as the reception clerk to give Mandy a break. She's already been making noises about leaving so she can go onto university. The job itself is simple. You'll handle the incoming calls and fielding questions about campsite availability, hours that we're open, places to sightsee and also the best places to go fishing and foraging. The campground is first come, first served and the deposit is done with credit card over the phone and cheque when they arrive."

"A what?"

"Credit card. Don't worry, I'll explain it later. In the meantime, anything except my room in the cabin is yours to use as well. When it gets darker, I'll demonstrate how to use the electric lights."

"I remember electric lights, Moony. Remember when we visited Lily that summer during seventh year?"

Remus smiled in memory, "Right, I just wanted to make sure. You will have to clean the public toilets on occasion as well as emptying the garbage cans in the campground. Please don't use magic here unless you know for a fact that you're alone."

"Deal. Now…about Harry. Have you seen him? How is he doing? When can I see him?"

Remus smiled warmly, "I have seen him and he's doing great. I need to call his aunt and schedule a weekend visit since he's busy with school during the week."

Sirius' face scrunched up in confusion, "His aunt? Who's left?"

"Lily's sister, Petunia and her family."

Sirius' eyes flew open, "He was never supposed to be left there! We need to go rescue him!"

Remus held his hands up, "Easy Padfoot. Calm down. Harry's in good hands with Petunia. She and Lily patched up their differences a while ago but didn't tell anyone for security reasons. He's well loved and cared for there. I've got stories to tell you…"

* * *

**Hogwarts Castle**

Albus Dumbledore was relaxing on his throne in his office the morning with the _Daily Prophet_ that heralded the exoneration of Sirius Black. He read it with nary an expression on his face but inside he was as seething as an active volcano. It was fortunate that he had contacts (read spies) everywhere important in magical Britain and therefore was aware of what was going to be released in the paper but it still rankled him that those boneheads in the Ministry didn't at least _try_ to lose Black's release paperwork. The _last_ thing he needed was for the fool to be released and start demanding to be reunited with his godson. That boy was his weapon when Voldemort returned as he knew he would.

' _I left enough clues to Tom about a resurrection ritual that even a Crabbe or Goyle could've followed them. I just hope that he doesn't try to do anything stupid until I'm ready. The boy is not yet ready to re-enter the magical world and I'm still waiting on word about the Stone from Nicolas.'_

His dark mood was further stoked by the knowledge that those greedy little Goblin bastards had discovered his false accounts and the rerouting of monies and properties from the Potter vaults. He'd also had his access revoked to the brat's Trust Vault! He couldn't understand who it was that learned of what he had done or why they would even attempt to remove him. So he took some money from the accounts; those officials wouldn't offer their services and promises for free, after all. Properly led legislation took money and it wasn't like the brat needed it now.

One more year until Harry Potter arrived at the castle. One more year until he could put his plans into motion for the Greater Good…

**No recipes this time; I wanted to do some character development instead.**


	5. Serving Up An Order Of Roasted Bumblebee

**Chapter 5: Serving up an order of Roasted Bumblebee**

**Dursley Residence, just after the excitement at the Grangers' house**

"Welcome to my home, Professor McGonagall," Petunia said as she unlocked and opened the front door. Harry pushed past and hurried into the kitchen muttering something about needing to check on his latest experiment; Minerva tilted her head in curiosity.

"He likes to experiment with various sauces, spices and marinades." Minerva slowly nodded her head in acknowledgment yet still clearly confused.

Petunia led Minerva into the kitchen and offered her a chair; Harry quickly wiped his hands on a towel, opened up the refrigerator and pulled out a glass pitcher filled with something green. He poured two glasses and handed them off to his aunt. Minerva peered at the glass with undisguised puzzlement.

"It's some sort of healthy drink he made after reading about it in a book his uncle got for him for his birthday. Harry's said that the book claims that it's an offering to promote good health and favorable relations. It's actually not bad tasting though it does take some time to get used to it." Petunia explained as she took a sip.

Minerva sniffed it and took a sip before grimacing, "Um, Mr. Potter? What was the name of this book?"

Harry had gone back to poking around the fridge and pulled his head back when he heard his name called, "Uhh… Lemme go get it." He let the door to the fridge close and trotted off to the cupboard under the stairs. Minerva's eyes widened dramatically and her mouth dropped open.

"He sleeps under _there?!_ " she yelped in outrage and pointed to where Harry was bent over at the waist rummaging around for something inside.

Both Harry and Petunia looked at her like she'd just grown three extra heads, "What kind of psycho would make their kid sleep under the stairs?" Harry queried with a look of bemusement on his face before standing up with a book in hand and closing the cupboard door.

Minerva let out a gasp of relief and patted her chest with her hand, "I, I'm sorry Mr. Potter. I don't know why I automatically assumed the worst."

Petunia just shook her head; forcing a child to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs seemed like something out of a trashy crime novel.

* * *

Harry placed the book on the table and went back to his puttering in the kitchen. Minerva took one look at the title "The Modern Witch's Garden" and let out a strangled sort of laugh.

"Oh, dear. Mrs. Dursley? Mr. Potter? This book doesn't describe a drink using these ingredients; it's describing a 'blessing' to be used to consecrate an altar for rituals. You're supposed to splash the altar with the waters to promote those habits or expressions you want to occur within the ritual."

Petunia started turning as green as the juice while Harry started making gagging noises and hurried to the fridge where he pulled the pitcher out and dumped the contents into the sink and started scrubbing it out with soap and water. Minerva just chuckled at their responses.

"Don't worry about it; it happens to the best of us sometimes. Like you said, it's not bad tasting though I would refrain from experimenting with any more potions until you get to school young man."

* * *

**Harry's bedroom**

Minerva did get a chance to see Harry's bedroom; it located just to the left of the upstairs landing and contained all the usual trappings of a child his age and to the same level of cleanliness. Shoes lying where they were dropped, trousers carelessly draped over a chair, stacks of books (some even on shelves) and an unmade bed. In addition, there was an interesting display on the wall. It appeared to be a wooden backboard with mason jars attached at a sloping angle. Each of the mason jars were filled with soil of varying types and were labeled with the names of the plants growing in them like 'red basil, thyme, rosemary.' They were laid out in the shape of a capital 'H.'

"Nice display you have here, Mr. Potter. Very pungent," Minerva complimented him as he tried in vain to kick a few cartoon printed pants under his bed. Petunia nudged him and shook her head in dismay.

"Thank you, Professor. I love my herb garden wall. My uncle and I built it this past summer. I also have a greenhouse in the backyard and a regular vegetable garden too. It's important to have fresh herbs and vegetables when making food."

* * *

Harry was making tea for their guests while Petunia hosted Minerva in the lounge. She explained to the older woman the history over the past ten years since Harry had arrived. Petunia admitted that the thought of treating Harry poorly had crossed her mind for all of a mere second but attributed that to the compulsion placed in the letter from the headmaster. She got up and retrieved the letter that was attached to Harry's basket that night.

Minerva's eyes were truly opened to the callousness that Albus had displayed in that condescending letter to the only family Harry Potter had left. She detected the remnants of the compulsion as well as a ward trigger for something else. She carefully closed the letter and took a deep breath.

"Mrs. Dursley, I am so sorry that this had to happen to you. I cannot believe that Albus Dumbledore could be so…so… _that!"_

"Hmph, that's not the only thing he's done since then that makes it difficult for me to allow Harry to go to that school."

Minerva's face paled, "There's _more?!"_

Vernon arrived home right about then and was brought up to speed on the conversation as well as whom their guest was. He confirmed that the headmaster had been playing 'sticky fingers' with Harry's financials and political name. The hard truths just kept coming and coming which threw Minerva for a complete loop. She clearly was having a difficult time assimilating the knowledge that Albus Dumbledore, the supposed 'Leader of the Light' would be so petty as to steal from a child, use the family name for his own gains and oppress so many disadvantaged people just to fulfill his delusional idea of the Greater Good.

"This, this is going to take me time to get through…and accept. Merlin, I had no idea! I was against Harry's placement here in the beginning because at the time I had thought that you and Lily had had a falling out. I'm glad to see that I was wrong about that; but I'm outraged that Albus was trying to capitalize on that belief! If I may ask, what are your plans for dealing with this?"

Vernon shrugged, "We haven't really decided; the Goblins are collecting as much financial evidence to prove conclusively all the misappropriations and outright theft. We want to wait until everything is assembled in a way to prevent him from wriggling out of a proper punishment, especially if it gets him removed from his positions within your world. I will tell you this, if he's still in power by the time Harry gets his letter, he will NOT be going to that school."

* * *

Minerva was invited to share a dinner with them so she could witness and sample Harry's culinary skills. She was sat on a stool in front of the kitchen counter where she'd have an unobstructed view of his talents. First thing he placed on the counter was a small shallow dish of something crunchy. She peered at the contents and asked him what it was.

"Puppy chow."

The look she gave could've frozen Hell. He just smirked and let his aunt explain that it was just a humorous name for a collection of cereal, nuts, raisins, and chocolate pieces dusted with a cinnamon-sugar topping. Proving that it was edible, Petunia took a couple of pieces and popped them in her mouth and smirked at the disbelieving look on Minerva's face.

"So what's on the menu for tonight, Harry?"

"We're having Caribbean fish and slaw tonight. Uncle Vernon, would you please make the punch?" He nodded and got up from his chair.

Minerva watched entranced as Harry began explaining as he went along, describing the steps involved with making dinner. She wished Severus would be as descriptive when 'teaching' his class!

"These fish fillets come straight from my uncle who harvested them straight from the ocean and brought them by the last time he visited," he explained as he picked and weighed 2 lbs of fish, "This recipe also works well for any type of fish or even shrimp."

Minerva glanced in the direction where Vernon was busily making the punch but Petunia corrected her. "Different uncle."

Next, he brought out a half of a head each of red and green cabbage, a couple of carrots and a red bell pepper which he proceeded to shred, "The vegetables are straight from my garden and were only picked this morning. This will be used for making the slaw."

Out came the spices, oils and canned fruits, "I normally prefer to use fresh fruits for my recipes but know realistically that some fruits just aren't available fresh this time of year here in Britain or they're too cost pro…pro… Aunt Petunia?"

"Prohibitive," Petunia supplied.

"Thanks, pro-hib-itive." He finished as he sounded out the word.

He spun around and turned on the oven to 204 degrees C then grabbed a jar of premixed ingredients from the pantry, "Again, fresh is always better but I premade this dried mix for the seafood citrus marinade a couple of months ago when I was planning out the upcoming cuisines. Best part about this is that they will keep for several months if stored in a cool, dry and dark cupboard so if plans change, I'm not stuck with rotting vegetables and whatnot." He scooped out about a quarter cup of the mix and poured it into a bowl with an equal amount of light oil, water and two tablespoons of white vinegar. He whisked it around until the mix was combined and separated a quarter cup of it. Next he added the fish and let it sit and soak for roughly fifteen minutes.

* * *

Minerva's sensitive nose picked up the scents coming from the marinade and it made her mouth water. Her feline side was practically _purring_ with anticipation of tonight's meal! She caught Petunia's eye and could only shake her head in bemusement at the display of culinary artistry going on before her. Vernon reappeared a moment later saying that the punch was mixed and ready to be served.

Harry nodded his acknowledgement and continued with his demonstration. He finished shredding the slaw mix and tossed it with some oil, the reserved marinade and a tablespoon of raw sugar before pulling out a large serving bowl and dumping it in.

Dudley proved how good his timing was when he arrived home. Petunia told him to go wash up then set the table.

Multitasking, Harry explained his views on the benefits of fresh over frozen ingredients; he simultaneously removed the fish from the marinade and placed them in a baking dish and covered it with a sheet of aluminum foil then popped it into the oven. The timer dinged after fifteen minutes and he opened up the door and tested the fish with a fork. The flesh flaked quite easily so he removed the fish and turned off the oven.

Out came the plates as Harry arranged the fish and a healthy scooping of the slaw onto them then carried a pair to the table. Vernon brought the punch over and served a half glass to the boys but a full one to the adults. There was also a chilled pitcher of plain water for after.

One bite and Minerva was a true believer…

* * *

**Wolf's Bay Campground, two days later**

Remus watched as Sirius went through his new duties as the campground's reception clerk. His best friend seemed to be taking well to his new life even if there was the occasional rule breaking. One of Remus' main rules was that magic could only happen within the confines of their shared house out of view of the muggles. That said, he did catch Sirius using magic to clean the public restroom but frankly didn't say anything because it was a rather dirty job. _'Now that I think of it, it begs the question as to why I never used magic to clean that bathroom.'_ Shrugging it off as something to think about when he got a free moment (like that would ever happen!)

For his part, Sirius was thoroughly enjoying his new life and duties! The open land, the blue skies (when it wasn't rainy, foggy or whatnot), the ocean teeming with life was probably as close to heaven as he was going to get. It was sometimes difficult to believe that life could be so simple out here in the middle of nowhere and as far from the city life he'd grown up in. _'What did Moony call it? Oh yeah, a return to nature.'_ He had a few slipups in the beginning since it _was_ his first time using a telephone or handling the cash from the campers when they came in to pay for their souvenirs or to make change for the vending machine.

"Padfoot."

Sirius turned from where he was leaning against the counter, a magazine in his hands, "Moony. What's up?"

"Just wanted to know if you had any outstanding assignments."

Sirius thought for a moment then shook his head, "Nope. All clear. Why? What's on your mind?"

Moony gave him the same grin that heralded the solution to a complicated prank during their school days, "How'd you like to go visit Harry today?" He started laughing as Sirius threw down the magazine and raced into his room to grab his bag. He sauntered in as well in a more sedate pace and continued chuckling as he watched Sirius practically vibrating in anticipation near the floo.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Pads but we won't be going via the Network. We're going to be driving there."

"Why?"

"Well, for starters, I have a couple of boxes of seafood that I need to bring to Harry. He's planning something extravagant for his best friend's eleventh birthday plus it'd do you some good to see more of the island."

Sirius gestured in a sort of 'Fine, why not?' manner and followed his friend out to his car.

* * *

**Dursley Residence, Harry's greenhouse out back**

It was a damp sort of day while Harry was tending to his burgeoning herb growing trays when the intercom crackled to life, "Dursley residence to Harry. Dursley residence to Harry. Come in, Harry." He snorted and hit the button with the side of his hand, "This is Harry. What's up, Dudley?"

"Mum says to finish out there and come in to clean up. We've got visitors coming in soon, over."

Harry rolled his eyes at his cousin's antics. It was always the same routine; Dudley thought he was being funny.

"Right, I'll be in, in just a minute."

"Roger that, over and out." The intercom clicked off.

He stripped off his gloves and dusted them off before hanging them on the hook next to the tool rack. Upon entering the house, he quickly washed up and was heading to the front door when he spotted Dudley getting there first.

Two men entered after being greeted by Dudley. One was Uncle Remus, the other seemed familiar; like someone out of a dream. For the life of him, Harry would never know what compelled him to ask this question.

"What smells like wet dog?"

* * *

_**Out in the front…** _

Moony and Padfoot pulled up in front of the house and got out to stretch and start unloading the car. Padfoot had been impressed with the developments of the non-magical world, especially those drive-thru restaurants. Hot food delivered directly to your vehicle! No need to get out and wait in line or deal with crowded rooms. If only they had something similar in Diagon Alley! They were greeted at the door by a blonde boy of about ten years old who introduced himself as Dudley.

As they entered, another boy appeared from around the corner. Sirius' eyes teared up as he recognized his godson _. 'He's gotten so big! Merlin, is he going to like me? What should I say?'_

"What smells like wet dog?"

There was only one response to that. He let out a barking laugh.

* * *

Petunia, Vernon, Dudley and Harry could only watch in puzzlement and a little trepidation as this stranger who accompanied Remus nearly fell to the floor laughing his butt off. They each glanced at each other all probably wondering the same thing: _'What the heck?'_

Remus just grinned and hauled Sirius to his feet, "Petunia, Vernon and Dudley Dursley? May I introduce Sirius Orion Black? Harry? This is your godfather, also known as Padfoot of the Marauders."

"The same question almost word for word, Moony! Just like his mother!" Sirius wheezed as he tried to recover. Sighing with another brief burst of chuckles, Sirius offered his hand to the adults then turning to face Harry, "Hello, Harry. You look so much like your father, James but you got your mother's eyes."

"Thanks, Aunt Petunia has commented that our eyes are similar. It's probably why she likes keeping me around."

Petunia's eyes widened and let out a squeal of indignation. Dudley and Harry just laughed at her reaction. "You scamp. Now, take your godfather to the lounge while Remus and I deal with his packages. Dudley, you can help too." She made shooing motions with her hands.

* * *

Sirius didn't know where to begin. He kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water; he had so many questions but for the life of him, didn't know where to start.

"Umm…hi… you're a lot bigger than the last time I saw you," he trailed off lamely.

Harry grinned at his attempt at humor, "Thanks, I guess. So, how are you doing? Have you recovered from your time in uh…"

"Azkaban?" Sirius shrugged unconcernedly, "I guess so. There have been a few nightmares but I think I'm getting through it pretty well. Spending my days with Moony has helped. That campground is something else, right?"

Harry let out a groan of pleasure, "I know, right? The amount of fresh fish and seafood is incredible! The foraging there is spectacular. I want to move out there someday, it'd be wonderful to catch my food the day I need it."

An eyebrow rose on Sirius' face, the look that appeared was one that Harry recognized from everyone that had never been apprised of his unique talent. He just returned Sirius' incredulous stare with a smug look.

The others came into the room and Sirius leaned over to Remus and whispered, "He cooks?"

* * *

Over the next several hours, Sirius was incorporated into the warm family dynamic that was the Dursleys, Harry and to some extent, Remus. Petunia decided to bring out the baby photos of Harry growing up much to the boy's audible displeasure.

"Aww come on, Aunt Petunia! Whyyyy…." He groaned and buried his blushing face into his arms. Dudley poked at him laughingly while Vernon fixed them a non-alcoholic drink.

"Harry, be nice. Mr. Black here needs to get caught up on the past ten years of you being utterly adorable," Petunia replied with an overly sweet voice that promised many hours of embarrassing torture for the boy before pointing to a picture of him being bathed in the kitchen sink with a frilly bathing cap on his head.

"Don't worry, pup. I got plenty of embarrassing stories of your dad from when we were in school," Sirius said comfortingly. Harry perked up at that, he hadn't heard many stories of his father while growing up. (Most because Petunia didn't know any.)

Opening the album, Petunia began her narration into Harry's embarrassing past.

* * *

"So for the next week, all Snivellous had to wear was that frilly dress James picked up from the children's clothing store!" Sirius laughed as he told the punch line of the time James pranked a class mate of theirs. He was still chuckling but sobered up when he spotted the disapproving look on Harry's face. "Pup?"

Harry shrugged, "It just sounds like bullying to me. Pranks should be funny to both sides, not embarrassing like that one was."

Remus interjected then, "What you have to understand is that Severus gave as good as he got, sometimes worse. It was also a time of war in the later years. If we could disrupt the morale and recruiting practices of the dark side members, we would do so willingly."

Harry still looked pensive but let it go for now, "What was the most embarrassing attempt by my dad in trying to get my mum to pay attention to him?"

Both Remus and Sirius let wide grins appear on their faces…

* * *

Dinner that night was, in Harry's mind, a simple affair. A shrimp wonton soup for the starters, followed by a teriyaki chicken bowl with spiced rice, steamed vegetables and chow mein on the side. For dessert, he pulled out a heavenly cookies and cream ice cream sandwich cake. Sirius kept glancing at him with a strange look on his face. Harry finally broke down and asked him what was with the looks.

"It's just that your parents weren't all that great in the kitchen, I'm just trying to figure out where you got your skill from."

Vernon chuckled, "As far as we can guess, the talent in the kitchen probably skipped a generation. Remus here said the same thing." Remus made an agreeing noise as he finished his slice of cake.

Harry sat up a bit proudly, "I overheard something Aunt Petunia said to you, Uncle Vernon a while back that fits my style I think. Take a trip around the world and never leave your kitchen! There are so many places I'd love to go to someday and if all I can do right now is just cook up a sample of their cuisine, I'll do it."

* * *

**Dursley Residence**

A letter arrived with the morning mail rush from Gringotts. It was a thick envelope stamped with 'IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS, EYES ONLY' in large red letters. Interestingly there weren't any signs of postage which meant hand delivery. Petunia glanced outside to see if there was a courier leaving but spotted no one.

"Package from Gringotts, Vernon. No postage either which could only mean a courier but I didn't see anyone," she said as she handed over the envelope.

"They must have their own delivery system. Nice of them not to use an owl or something conspicuous," he replied while opening the package.

Inside was a rather lengthy letter outlining some suspiciously new activity against the account by Dumbledore; new offshore accounts that had been opened using variations of their names and the monies being funneled into them, new book contracts being written in Harry's name but using Albus as the point of contact, and the final kicker was the bribes being passed out to make sure all of this was passed quietly in the Wizengamot. Petunia saw one line item that had her blood _boiling…_

"A _marriage contract_?" she hissed angrily, "He penned a marriage contract in Harry's name to someone he doesn't even know?! This is too much, Vernon. It's time to let the Goblins wage financial war on that bastard."

"I agree, Pet but let's contact Remus first so he's not blindsided when this hits the fan." She agreed and went for the phone.

Remus was incensed as well and agreed with the Dursley adults that the Goblins should be unleashed, "We should also write up a statement to be sent to the _Daily Prophet_ as well as the DMLE. Both are going to want to know. The DMLE can press legal charges against everyone involved while the newspaper will bring this scandal to the public's awareness. Nothing gets a politician to move faster than angry voters."

The Dursleys and Remus stopped in to Gringotts the next day while the boys were at school. The look on Daggerclaw's face could only be described as 'vicious.' He started barking out orders into his intercom for the Accountant Horde to mobilize.

* * *

The open letter to the _Daily Prophet_ went out a day later and if Voldemort himself were seen dancing in a tutu to Swan Lake, it wouldn't hold a candle of a spectacle than that of the public's response to Albus' thievery from their savior, Harry Potter.

' _Dear People of Magical Britain,_

_My name is Harry Potter and I am writing you this letter with the aid of my aunt and uncle as part of my outrage that Albus Dumbledore has been discovered to be stealing from my family's accounts and vaults for his own personal gain. Amongst such items is a large amount of gold and jewelry, he's penned several contracts for books and stories written about my alleged adventures around the world. I can personally tell you that I've not once traveled the world. The farthest I've ever been from home is to Cornwall for a bit of camping and fishing. Additionally, Albus Dumbledore has penned a marriage contract for some witch I've never met before! I don't know about you but anyone who signs such a contract sight unseen needs to have their heads examined. On top of all that, Albus Dumbledore has used my name to pass laws that would be used to oppress those of mixed race, nationality, sex, and abilities. He's also used my name to reject laws that would make things easier for incoming muggle born or raised to integrate into the magical community._

_It's my belief that ALL magical children regardless of their blood status, be they of mixed heritage or suffer from an easily treatable recurring disability should be offered a place at Hogwarts. To deny anyone of an education because of something that is beyond their control is totally unacceptable._

_If things continue as they are then I, along with my guardians, will be taking a long, hard look as to whether or not staying within Britain is worth the hassle. I call upon the readers of this publication to send in their responses to their representatives and tell them that Albus Dumbledore should be removed from all offices of power._

_It is for the Greater Good._

_(signed) Harry Potter, Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter; Heir Presumptive of the Noble and Ancient House of Black_

Owls carrying red-enveloped Howlers flocked into the newspaper's head office as well as flooding the Ministry to vent their owners' outrage over the scandal that the supposed 'Leader of the Light' was nothing more than a common thief and those Warlocks on the Wizengamot who took the bribes should be strung up by their toes and beaten around their heads.

* * *

**19 September 1990**

Hermione burst out of her room full of energy. She was officially eleven years old today and _nothing_ was going to bring her down! Her parents wished her a happy birthday and even joking suggested that she might consider taking the day off from school. She responded maturely by sticking her tongue out at them and blowing a raspberry. After being dropped off by her mum at school, she dashed in and went in search of Harry and Dudley.

She found Dudley hanging from the monkey bars on the playground but saw no signs of Harry, "Where's Harry?"

"Kitchens," came his upside down reply, "Said he needed to keep your surprise chilled or something." He gripped the bar with his hands and flipped his legs off cleanly, landing with a flump, "Whoa, head rush…"

The bell rang then so Hermione guided a slightly dizzy Dudley to their classroom.

* * *

Harry appeared not too long after the class got underway. He waved to their teacher and took his seat. Hermione sat there and stared at him with an expectant look on her face. He did his best to ignore her but eventually giggled and turned to face her.

"Good morning, Hermione. How are you?"

"Harry…" she growled at him.

With wide 'innocent' eyes and a slight tilt to his head, "Yes, Hermione?"

She gave him her best 'Hermione Granger Glare of Death,' "Isn't there something you care to wish me?"

Harry tapped his chin with a finger in thought, "Well, I can't think of a reason what could be so important today," She pulled her hand up like she was going to whap him on the arm, he couldn't hold back any longer and laughed out loud, holding his hands up in submission, "Sorry, couldn't help it! Happy birthday Hermione!"

She whapped him on the arm anyways in indignation of having to put up with such _'boys.'_

* * *

_**Down in the cafeteria for lunch…** _

Miss Bomberg led her charges into the cafeteria and announced that today they would be celebrating Hermione's birthday lunch here. Cheers went up and all eyes slid over to Harry who put on his best 'who me?' look but finally relented when Dudley pushed him towards the kitchen door. When he returned, Harry along with the rest of the kitchen staff wheeled out carts laden with plates of roasted chicken and cheese lasagna, jicama dill potato salad and fruit-sweetened chocolate cake! Each student got a serving of each along with a carton of milk (they were still at school after all!) and sang the happy birthday song to Hermione. Her cake had eleven candles arranged in a halo and it lit up her blushing face perfectly.

As usual whenever someone took a bite of Harry's cooking, they were hooked and usually making some sort of noise in pleasure. The room was a cacophony of mumbles, sighs and whispers.

* * *

**Late October, Dursley residence**

Both Sirius and Remus had arrived to ask for permission to take Harry to Godric's Hollow to see where he used to live and to visit his parents' graves for a bit of closure and have him stay overnight at the campground. Vernon was surprised that they drove all the way from Cornwall to ask but Sirius explained that Remus drove in while he apparated to a tracking charm attached to Moony's car in so they could learn the coordinates if they ever needed to make a portkey. This led into a discussion of what a portkey was and how it was made; Vernon marveled at the possibilities for said devices. When asked to clarify he replied that from a logistical perspective, using a portkey to deliver critical supplies nearly instanteously would be a godsend.

"Why don't you just use a topographical map of the area to create this portkey?" Vernon inquired, looking at Remus who shrugged and replied it had something to do with a person's magic to be able to anchor the portkey's starting point.

Petunia asked Remus how they would be getting there but vetoed the idea of taking that monstrosity on wheels known as the Knight Bus.

"There has to be a safer way, Remus. What about by car?"

Remus tilted his head and pursed his lips in thought, "I guess we can. Godric's Hollow is in Wales so it's not that far. About the same distance as it is to the campground I reckon.

"How do you know about the Knight Bus?" Sirius asked her.

"I took a trip once with Lily about a year after she graduated. It left enough of an impression on me that I wouldn't wish that deathtrap on anyone," she replied with a shudder.

"Where is Godric's Hollow anyway? I couldn't find it on a map," Vernon asked Remus.

"You wouldn't. The town is mostly magical and there are town-wide wards up to discourage outsiders. There _is_ a sign on the highway to it but it's so unobtrusive that most people blink and they miss it."

"What's the name of the nearest non-magical town then?"

"Umm… Merthyr Tydfil, I think? Definitely within Wales, for sure."

"Hey, Harry!" Vernon bellowed towards the kitchen however there was no response. Vernon picked up the telephone and dialed the intercom number and called his nephew's name again.

"Yes, Uncle Vernon?"

"Where are you?"

"Greenhouse, magical side. What's going on?"

"Have you ever made Welsh cuisine before?"

"Umm…no. I don't think so. I'd have to check my notebooks. Why?"

"Remus and Sirius are here and want to take you to Wales for a special trip. I just got curious if you ever made any of their dishes."

"They're here? I'll be right in!" _Click!_ The line went dead.

Vernon chuckled to himself at the boy's enthusiasm and waited for Harry to come bouncing into the room.

* * *

Harry came bouncing into the lounge all smiles, "Hey Uncles Sirius and Remus! Are we really going on a trip? Just the three of us?"

Sirius looked smug at getting top billing, "That's right, pup. Go wash your hands and put on a jacket so we can get going."

With a loud cheer, Harry threw his hands in the air then bolted for his bedroom. The adults snickering behind him at his enthusiasm.

"What time do you figure you'll be done?" Petunia inquired.

Sirius shrugged, "It shouldn't take us all that long. Most of it will probably be recovering from crying and memories. We'll probably stop in to see where they're buried too."

"Okay and he'll probably be too emotional for anything else either." Harry came thumping down the stairs again and slid to a stop in front of the group with an expectant yet happy look on his face.

"Harry? Do you have anything you could take for the journey to Wales? Some finger foods and maybe a thermos of tea?" Petunia inquired gently.

"Ooh! Be right back." He dashed off into the kitchen. They heard the sounds of the fridge being opened then slammed shut and the sound of a cooler being retrieved from the cabinet; Harry dashed back out a couple of minutes later.

"Ready."

* * *

**Godric's Hollow**

The ride itself was a mixture of quiet trepidation (Sirius and Harry were still getting used to one another) and excited energy. It wasn't the first time that Harry had ridden in a car with his Uncle Moony but they were now going somewhere other than the store! Sirius kept up a running dialogue about some of the things that the Marauders got up to while in school as well as some of their best and worst subjects.

"Because of that sensitive nose of his, Moony here is terrible at potions yet if you ever need help in arithmancy, it's him you should seek out. My talents lay in ancient Runes and astronomy, not surprising considering that my family had a predisposition to naming their children after astronomical objects.

"What are ancient runes?" Harry asked, intrigued.

"Runes are a symbol based language that roughly arose first in the Mesopotamia area during the era of the pharaohs. Hieroglyphs are one such form. Another would be Elder Futhark, first developed in the regions of what is now Germany and Poland. Each symbol doesn't really correspond to a letter but more of an idea. When arranged in a certain pattern and magic is applied, the array can take the place of a wand or magical staff." Sirius explained to a wide-eyed Harry.

"I should be writing this all down," he breathed.

Sirius just smiled at him, "You got plenty of time to do that. It's a shame that the class isn't offered until your third year."

Harry pondered that, "Is there anything stopping me from learning about it beforehand?"

"No, I can't think of anything. Why?"

"I wonder if there are any runes I could inscribe into the posts around my garden to keep the bugs away?"

Sirius bobbled his head, "Possibly though it'd be tough to fine tune it so only the harmful bugs get filtered out while letting the good bugs in.

* * *

Remus got them there in good time and found a place to park on the street, a short walk away from the house itself. The two and a half wizards were quiet as they approached the fence line; each weighed down with the mounting memories of the happy home that once existed there. Sirius was the first to break down into tears.

"Oh, James! Lily, I'm so sorry that this happened to you!" He wailed, Remus patting him comfortingly on the shoulder while wiping at his own eyes. Harry just stood there silently. He reached out and touched the railing only to jump back when a signpost grew up out of the ground like a plant on speed. There was an inscription plaque dedicated to the Potter Family:

' _On this spot, on the night of 31 October 1981, Lily and James Potter lost their lives. Their son, Harry, remains the only wizard ever to have survived the Killing Curse. This house, invisible to Muggles, has been left in its ruined state as a monument to the Potters and as a reminder of the violence that tore apart their family.'(1)_

Harry also saw that many other well-wishers had visited the site and signed or carved their names into the sign. It touched him and brought a tear to his eyes that there were so many people whom he didn't even know who wanted him to have a good life.

* * *

_**At the cemetery 'kissing gate'…** _

Sirius managed to regain his control over his emotions with the help of both Harry and Remus, the latter of whom led the three of them to the cemetery. There were a lot of names that both men pointed out of families that would most likely have children his age or slightly older while he was at Hogwarts. There were other notable names too; Godric Gryffindor (not surprising given the town's name), Bowman Wright (Sirius said he was the inventor of the Golden Snitch and promised to explain Quidditch later), Ignotus Peverell (both men said that the name sounded familiar but neither had a definitive clue as to whom he was); they saw a grave marker for the Dumbledore family (which surprised both Remus and Sirius). (2)

The next tombstone they came across was for Harry's parents. It was tastefully done in white marble and had both James' and Lily's birth and death dates along with the inscription 'The Last Enemy that Shall Be Destroyed is Death.' (3)

There were no words. Nothing could be said; the three just sat there in a tight group in front of where James and Lily would rest for eternity.

* * *

_**At the 'kissing gate' again…** _

"My stars, is that little Harry Potter?" an ancient voice rasped. All three spun around, Sirius nearly going for his wand when they all spotted a tiny, hunched over woman peering at them through thick glasses and rheumy eyes.

"Who, who are you?" Harry asked nervously, he didn't know how anyone could recognize him with those thick glasses.

The old woman straightened as best she could, "I'm Bathilda Bagshot. I was a close neighbor of your family before that dreadful night." She waved at them to follow her, "I need to get back home, I got a stew on and I shouldn't be standing so much these days."

With a shrug, all three followed her.

* * *

**The home of Bathilda Bagshot**

It turned out that once inside, her eyes were much sharper than anyone gave her credit for. Harry asked her as politely as he could how she accomplished that.

"Enchantments built into the house. It sharpens the air in front of me like a lens so it acts like the perfect pair of glasses. I have to rely on those other things when I go outside." She waved her hand in disgust at the glasses and parked herself on her chair, "So… Harry Potter. The last time I saw you were just before you went into hiding with your parents. Such a good and loving couple they were! Lily and I would have many a long chat over a cup of tea about the history of the town and of magic in general."

At Harry's puzzled look, she turned to peer at the other two, "He's never been told as to who I am?"

Sirius gave an exaggerated shrug, "Frankly, ma'am, we didn't know you were still alive nor that you live here." Bathilda nodded her acceptance of that.

"Fair enough. Harry, I am the leading historian of magic and accomplished author, if I may toot my own horn as they say. I wrote the textbook for History of Magic as well as the definitive guide to Hogwarts itself!"

Harry's eyes widened comically, "Wow! You and my best friend would get along really well. She loves to read! Anything she can get her hands on too."

Bathilda smiled pleasantly, "What about you, young Harry? Do you like to read?"

Harry nodded rapidly, "Yes, I love to read adventure books, crime novels and also cookbooks."

That brought her up short and she let out a surprised laugh, "Cookbooks? Who reads cookbooks for fun?"

Both Sirius and Remus immediately pointed at Harry who smirked.

"He cooks?"

Harry just slapped his forehead and groaned.

* * *

As they were pulling up to Remus' private parking spot, Harry was excitedly and rapidly talking about how amazing it was to have met the legendary author. When they got inside, Sirius went to his room to change into something more comfortable and get out of his boots for a while; Remus got some blankets and a pillow out from storage and stacked them next to the couch. Harry chattered on about how amazing it must have been to be alive during some of the greatest events in history, muggle or magical.

"Imagine being old enough to see the railroad being developed, reading about the first airplane to take to the skies or whatever the magical equivalent would be."

Remus sat down in his favorite chair and mused thoughtfully, "That reminds me. We should start giving you a basic guide into the history of magical Britain. It'll help with your etiquette studies as well."

Sirius came in carrying three steaming hot mugs and handed one to Harry who examined it carefully, "What is it?"

Sirius shrugged, "Just a bit of coffee to warm you up. I noticed you shivering a bit earlier."

Thirty minutes later and Remus was glaring at Padfoot who watched in amazement and puzzlement as his godson blitzed around the room like he'd just downed a liter of Pepper-up. He glanced down at his mug and looked over at Moony.

"It was just a bit of coffee; I don't understand."

Harry had just bolted out the door in the direction of the paddock as Remus stood to follow, "He's most likely never had coffee before and the amount of caffeine in it is going to make him excitable for a while. It's not your fault but you should've asked first."

Harry _did_ crash from his caffeine rush; while they were sitting at the table eating a light dinner, both Sirius and Remus heard (and felt) a loud thump on the table. Harry had faceplanted into his mashed potatoes and was quietly snoring away.

* * *

**(1,2, 3) Excerpts from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and online Pottermore Wiki.**

**Recipes Used:**

Caribbean Citrus grilled fish and slaw (Yummly)

Shrimp wonton soup (Pinterest)

Teriyaki chicken bowl with spiced rice (Pinterest)

Chow mein (Pinterest)

Cookies and Cream ice cream sandwich cake (Personal)

Roasted Chicken and cheese lasagna (Personal)

Jicama Dill Potato Salad (Yummly)

Fruit sweetened Chocolate cake (Yummly)

Puppy Chow (Personal)


	6. The Fiery Death of the Bumblebee's Image and the Race to First Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No recipes worth showing you this chapter, I wanted to focus on the trial and aftermath as well as the run up before the first of September. I have to say that the trial fought me tooth and nail. I'll admit that writing courtroom scenes is just NOT my forte but I needed to branch out from my comfort zones in order to grow as a writer.

**Chapter 6: The Fiery Death of the Bumblebee's Image and the Race to First Year**

**Dursley Residence, three days after the press release**

_Ring, ring, riiiiinnggg!_ The telephone was practically bouncing off its hook early in the morning three days after the open letter to the _Daily Prophet_ hit newsstands. Petunia considered herself fortunate that the magical world knew nothing of muggle communication methods or things would probably be worse. As it was, the constant calls back and forth between she and Vernon to Sirius and Remus was rather distracting.

"Hello? Oh, hi Sirius. No, I haven't read the Prophet this morning yet. What now?"

"That letter has caused a huge firestorm of Howlers and angry citizens to the Ministry. I think the last time folks got this agitated was during the Death Eater trials at the end of the last war. Listen, I know of a way to keep in contact without running up the bills. Moony was going to ask if we could stop by later to visit?"

"Sure, there's nothing going on right now. Why not stop by about one in the afternoon? The kids are in school so we won't be interrupted," She agreed and made a note of their impending visit.

* * *

Padfoot and Moony opted to apparate to the Dursley residence since Remus' car was in the shop. After seating themselves around the kitchen table and getting the usual pleasantries out of the way and served a cup of tea, the adults got down to business.

"So Remus? What happened to your car?" Vernon asked.

Moony shrugged, "Nothing really, it just needed a transmission overhaul. The car's over 10 years old and it was in need of it when I bought it used."

"So what's this communication device you mentioned, Sirius?" Petunia inquired.

Sirius pulled out what at first glance were two rather ornate mirrors and handed one to her, "These are communication mirrors that we enchanted during our school years. They allowed us to talk to one another when we had separate detentions. All you have to do to connect with the other is to press the button and say the person's name. That one there is activated by saying my Marauder's name, 'Padfoot;' this one is activated by saying the name, 'Moony.'"

"Wow!" Both Dursleys' were impressed with the enchantments, "How about when you call me? How do I…"

"You answer it the same way. Here, I'll show you." He got up and went into another room. The mirror in her hand vibrated so she pressed the button and said, "Padfoot." The mirrored surface fuzzed out then refocused with his smirking face.

"Hi! Can you hear me okay?"

Vernon leaned in and his mouth dropped open, "True visual communications? The commercial potential must be incredible!" Petunia disconnected as Sirius returned to the kitchen.

"Well not so much," Remus commented, "It takes a lot of skill and patience to etch the runes into the backing and make sure that everything is connected properly." He popped open the back of one of the mirrors and showed off the arrays. Vernon got up and rummaged around in a kitchen drawer before returning with a jeweler's loupe. He affixed it to his eye and peered closely at the etchings.

"Yep, mm-hmm… Very clean etchings. How long did it take you to do up the pair?" He sat up and took off the loupe.

Remus shrugged, "I don't really remember. We made these back in our fourth year. Why?"

Vernon pursed his lips, "Modern muggle manufacturing could probably knock out a couple of hundred of these with no problem. Is there anything special about the power requirements?"

Remus and Sirius just blinked.

"A couple of _hundred?!_ " Sirius exclaimed as he stared wide-eyed at Vernon who nodded.

"Per hour," he replied smugly to their shocked looks, "and that amount could be increased as manufacturing technology gets better."

Remus blinked and shook his head to center himself, "Um, to answer your question, there's nothing really special. Every time you press the connect button it absorbs the ambient magical energy that permeates the world. Barring a complete shutdown of the ley lines, you'll never have to worry about it losing its charge." Remus stammered, still in shock that so many mirrors could be manufactured so easily. Even though he lived and worked with muggles, his interactions was usually limited to the campers and the store owners in town. Sirius had even less exposure…

"Well, you boys can discuss this opportunity at a later time, what was it in the paper that had you calling, Sirius?" Petunia interjected before things got too far afield.

"Hmm? Oh! There's been people calling for a trial to sort out Albus' guilt regarding his theft from the Potter family vaults in general and Harry specifically. The Mot's probably going to want Harry to come in to testify."

Petunia asked, "Do you know when this trial will take place?"

Sirius shrugged with his hands, "No idea. I can contact Amelia and see what she says? I can do it right now, if you want?"

Both Dursleys' looked confused, "How? Our fireplace isn't hooked up to the Network?"

Remus answered that, "There's a phone number to the Muggle Liaison Office who can then redirect the call to the Network."

"Well, that's handy. Muggle to magic communications."

* * *

Remus called the MLO phone number who did just as he had explained. Within moments, he was connected to the Secretary to the Director of Magical Law Enforcement.

"Hello? I need to speak with Director Bones, please. My name is Remus Lupin, I'm the Steward of the Potter Family and this is regarding the upcoming trial of Albus Dumbledore versus Harry Potter. Hmmm? I have a couple of questions from Harry Potter's guardians regarding when the trial is set to begin and what sort of dispensations they'll need to attend." There was the sound of murmuring on the other end, "They're muggles. Yes. Two, please. Send them to 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey care of Vernon Dursley, via muggle mail please. Thank you. Goodbye." He hung up the phone.

Vernon looked puzzled again, "Why via normal mail?"

"The wards around the house shield against unknown owls and magical people. Sirius and I only know it because you told us the address. The only other people I know that can bypass the wards would be the Goblins and elves. Their magical signature doesn't register with wizarding wards for whatever reason."

"But that Fidelius ward you mentioned when we had the house checked? Wouldn't you be compromising it by telling that secretary the address?"

Remus shrugged a shoulder, "Odds are that she gets told hundreds of addresses a day and is unlikely to tell anyone who could do something with ill-intent. I'm not worried."

"But what about that ward that prevented us from writing letters about Harry?" Petunia questioned him.

"I think they're targeting Harry's name specifically. When Dumbledore set them up, I'd bet he didn't even bother to know your names."

* * *

A package arrived two days later that contained two gold bracelets and a couple of forms along with a schedule of the upcoming trial. Vernon put the bracelet on to try it out and commented that he wondered if they could make one in a man's setting as it looked pretty good on him. Petunia snorted in laughter. They had shared the existence of the mirror with Harry when he had gotten home from school so he could talk and see his uncles whenever they wanted. Petunia spoke with Remus and told him that the bracelets had arrived and they were ready for their trip to the Alley to pick up some robes whenever he was available.

* * *

**Diagon Alley, Madam Malkins Clothing for All Occasions**

"Greetings! Welcome to my shop, I am Madam Malkin. What can I get you fitted for?" The proprietor greeted them, spotting Harry but keeping herself under control. Her assistants were doing the same though their wide eyes betrayed their surprise.

Petunia took the lead on this, Vernon was terrible at picking out fashion, "Hello, my husband, son and nephew and I are going to need just some robes to attend the upcoming trial at the Wizengamot."

Madam Malkin bowed once and guided the four of them into the fitting rooms; one assistant took Vernon to the stand on the left, another led the two boys to the one on the right. "Are you looking for a particular cut or style?" She asked after directing Petunia to step up on the stand.

"No, not really. You see we're muggle guardians of my nephew there and it wouldn't be proper for us to show up in our world's clothing and insult the Warlocks and Witches of the 'Mot."

Madam Malkin was impressed, it wasn't often that the muggle parents or guardians made the attempt to blend in, "Very well, let's see…"

* * *

The three seamstresses measured each of the Dursleys' and Harry then brought out a basic cut robe made of high-quality wool and dyed a subtle purple. When asked why the color, it was explained that purple was the color chosen for those who sat on the 'Mot and it would lend a subtle suggestion that they were there for business. Vernon could appreciate that, he'd dressed on occasion with his tie in the favorite color of his prospective client to help land a sale.

Petunia fingered the breast of her robes, "Would it be possible to get the crest for the House of Potter? Is there one with a border signifying that we are the Head's guardians?"

Madam Malkin cocked her head in thought, "Well, the crest itself is easy and yes, we can easily apply it. The guardianship…I'm not sure if there is one. I've certainly never heard of it before."

Petunia dismissed it with a small wave, "That's fine, as long as we have the crest. How much extra is that?"

"4 Sickles each."

"Deal. How long will it take to do up the robes?"

"I can have both robes done within an hour if you wish to do some shopping?"

So Petunia paid for the robes using some money that she'd withdrawn the last time she'd come to the Alley then she and her boys headed out of the store.

After a lovely tea at a little café located just past Gringotts, they returned and got a final fitting then headed home.

* * *

**4 October 1990 Ministry for Magic, Courtroom Ten Albus Dumbledore vs House of Potter**

Harry and the Dursleys' as well as Remus and Sirius arrived just before ten am the morning of the trial. It took two trips in the telephone box to get everyone down to the Atrium but after a quick look around at the decorations, the group headed to the Welcome Desk. A couple of quick words telling the wizard manning it where they were going and a spot inspection of wands, they headed towards the lifts. The crowds parted before them like they were the vanguard of a powerful army. Sirius looked quite powerful in his expensive Acromantula silk robes with the Black crest, Remus' robes weren't as expensive looking but he still cut a dashing figure in robes of a rich sable brown and sported the crests of both House of Potter and Black.

"Hang on," Sirius warned them. The lift's gates swung shut and it suddenly shifted backwards and started dropping rapidly towards Level 9.

"Why don't they have a lift stop for Level 10, Padfoot?" Harry asked as they got off the lift and headed down a flight of stairs.

"Not sure, really. You'd think they would've by now. Anyways, here we are."

"Mr. Lupin?" Dudley asked curiously, "What's in the Department of Mysteries?"

Remus chuckled, "Well, no one's quite sure; after all if it were known they couldn't call it the Department of Mysteries now could they? Really, it's the research department responsible for discovering new magics, examining artifacts from the past, storing prophecies and other dangerous items."

"Neat. So kind of like the tech shop of a spy novel, huh?"

All the adults chuckled in one form or another.

"Kind of like that."

* * *

They arrived at the courtroom and got settled into the visitor's gallery. The bailiff came around checking to see who had the proper authority to be there. He spotted Harry gazing around with wide eyes and approached the group.

"Mr. Harry Potter?" Harry's eyes swung down to the bailiff.

"Yes?"

"You're here to give a witness statement?"

Petunia leaned to interject, "My husband and I are his guardians as well as Mr. Lupin who holds the title of Steward. We're the ones who handle the finances and power of attorney for the Potter family holdings."

The bailiff nodded and instructed them to move to the Witness box where they would wait until called upon by the Chief Adjudicator to give their statements. Sirius and Dudley had to remain in the visitor's gallery. Both kids kept waving and making faces at each other from across the courtroom until admonished by Petunia.

Once they were settled in their new seats, a house-elf wearing a miniature Wizengamot robe popped in and asked if they wished to have any refreshments before things got underway. The group had never seen an elf before so when it popped in, they all let out a bit of a shriek which got the elf upset.

"Lonny is sorry! Lonny scared yous! How cans Lonny bes making it better?" the elf cried.

Dudley was the first to recover so he knelt down and patted the tiny creature on the shoulder, "It's not your fault, Lonny. We're not magical, well Harry is but we've never seen creatures like you before."

Lonny sniffed and wiped his nose on a handkerchief before looking over at Harry. His eyes widened comically when he recognized him, "You is being Harry Potter! You is being very famous amongst elves."

Harry rolled his eyes at the admiration but he was curious about the little creature, "Well, thank you though, Lonny but I don't wish to take credit for something I didn't do. The real credit of that night should go to my mother who blasted that bad man to Hell." Petunia made a noise that sounded like she disapproved of him cussing.

"In the meantime, Lonny? We'll take a cup of tea each, please with the add-ons on the side?" Petunia instructed the elf who nodded and popped away. Their teas magically appeared on a tray in front of them.

"Thank you, Lonny." Harry said to the empty air.

* * *

The courtroom began to fill up quickly as the time for the trial approached. Dudley had rejoined Sirius in the visitor's gallery by then. Remus kept up a quiet commentary of who the main players in this trial were. He pointed out Director Amelia Bones, the Head of the DMLE, as she entered and got set up at her desk. Minister Cornelius Fudge was easily spotted in his ugly lime green bowler hat that clashed hideously with the plum colored Wizengamot robes. A squat, toad-like woman waddled in behind him wearing so much pink that it made Harry's eyes water.

"Hear ye, hear ye! The Trial of Albus Dumbledore versus the House of Potter shall commence now! Aurors, seal the doors!" the Court Scribe announced, "All rise! Presiding is Chief Adjudicator Amelia Bones with Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge and Temporary Chief Warlock Tiberius Ogden assisting. "

Amelia thanked everyone for attending then gave permission to all to resume their seats, "Bring out the accused!"

Camera flashbulbs went off in rapid succession as Albus Dumbledore entered the courtroom, his lawyer following behind. The lawyer had a scowl on his face as the two of them sat at their table.

"Is the defendant here?" She called out.

Remus stood and approached the bench, "Steward for House Potter, Remus Lupin, Chief Adjudicator ma'am."

"Hem, hem."

Amelia tensed when she heard that noise and turned in her seat, "Dolores Umbridge, you are here _only_ as an assistant to the Minister. You have no voice in these proceedings. If you cannot control yourself, you _will_ be removed."

The now named squat witch glared at Amelia but remained silent. Amelia turned back and gestured for Remus to take his seat.

* * *

Albus glanced around the courtroom as he entered, his 'disappointed grandfather' countenance going full blast. It slammed to a halt when he spotted Harry sitting in the stands waving at someone in the visitor's gallery; his shock mounted when he saw Sirius Black waving back! This wasn't good; he would need to get through this farce as quickly as possible to determine how to get his plans back on track.

But luck wasn't on his side. Remus was an excellent Steward as he presented one piece of Gringotts verified evidence after another of Albus' mishandling and outright theft of money and properties belonging to the Potter accounts including the Gringotts certified Final Will and Testament of James and Lily Potter regarding the appointment of Sirius Black as Sworn Godfather. Remus explained how Albus' failure to properly follow procedure in getting Sirius a trial, which would've shown his innocence yet was forced to spend nine years in the Azkaban. He presented a copy of the Will that Albus had used to obtain guardianship over Harry and how Albus had signed it as a Witness. Test results were given into evidence to show that the Ministry copy was forged. Over five hundred thousand Galleons were spent on legislation and bribes to various department heads and sitting Wizengamot members to pass or suppress laws, all the while committing fraud by using Harry's name in proxy. The mood of the courtroom grew dark and angry, how _dare_ he do such things to their savior! The bribed 'Mot members grew uneasy as they were outed from their shady, backroom deals. Offshore accounts illegally made in young Mr. Potter's guardians' names then being rerouted to other accounts belonging to aliases of Albus Dumbledore were presented into evidence, illegal book contracts regarding the so-called 'Harry Potter Adventures,' as well as speculative accounts of what happened that Halloween night with all proceeds funneled into (now no longer) hidden accounts belonging to the accused.

* * *

"Money and properties aside, there is one item that has my client utterly incensed! I have here a marriage contract written between Mr. Potter and a witch he's never met with Albus acting as the magical guardian!"

"Do you know the name of the witch in question and who signed it in her name?" Amelia questioned.

"The currently underage witch is named Ginerva Molly Weasley; it was signed by a Molly Anne Prewitt!"

" _WHAT?!"_ someone yelled loudly from the visitor's gallery. A red-headed, slightly balding (and red faced) man rose to his feet.

"SILENCE IN THE COURT!" The scribed called out, "who are you, sir?"

"My name is Arthur Weasley. I am Ginny's father, Head of House Weasley and I _never_ approved of such thing! I upon my authority as such, rescind the contract forthwith and will be having a strongly worded conversation with my wife. If Mr. Potter could hear me, I sincerely apologize for this embarrassment and promise that amends shall be made."

Shocking everyone in the courtroom of his presence, Harry rose to his feet and addressed Arthur, "Mr. Weasley? I am Harry Potter and I," he glanced back at Petunia who nodded, "accept your apology and dec…dec…um, Aunt Petunia?" She whispered in his ear, "Declaration." He nodded sharply once then plopped back down in his seat.

* * *

First, Petunia was called up to explain who she was in relation to Harry Potter. When the court found out that she and her husband were actually muggles, there was an uproar of displeasure from the darker elements.

"Muggles! In our Ministry!"

"At least they dressed appropriately instead of wearing those rags they normally cover themselves with."

"I don't think they should be allowed; someone get the Aurors and throw them out!

"How dare these muggles come here and violate and desecrate our courtrooms and ministry, this does not concern them!" were such overheard opinions. The scribe pounded on the gavel to reestablish order.

"We shall have order in this courtroom or it will be cleared out!" He yelled out. The room quickly quieted down.

"Mrs. Dursley? Please explain your relation to Mr. Potter," Amelia asked her.

Fortifying herself, "My name is Petunia Dursley nee Evans; I'm the maternal aunt to Harry through his mother and my sister, Lily Marie Potter nee Evans. I, along with my husband raised Harry for roughly the past 10 years since 1 November 1981. He was left on our doorstep in the middle of the night by Albus Dumbledore, as we found out recently by Professor Minerva McGonagall who was there that night. He never announced himself or knocked on our door but just left Harry in a basket with a thin blanket and a heavily charmed and condescending letter informing us about the death of my sister and her husband."

"I submit the letter written in the accused's hand into evidence," Remus interjected, "Please continue, Mrs. Dursley. How did you know that the letter was charmed?"

Petunia went on to describe the effects the letter caused in her and her husband then explained how when they met Remus and told him about the letter, he confirmed that there were remnants of various hate, animosity and other charms targeting Harry still on the letter.

Vernon was brought in as the next witness and explained his part of the story. It backed up Petunia's statement but still raised some voices about why they should believe anything these muggles uttered. A quick bang of the gavel shut them down.

Finally, it was Harry's turn…

* * *

In many of the attendees' views, Harry Potter looked _nothing_ like he was reported to be. He was dressed in wizarding robes, had messy raven-colored hair and the legendary green eyes but there was no scar on his forehead! He climbed up the steps to the witness platform and nervously picked at his thumbnail.

"Hello, Mr. Potter, thank you for joining us," Amelia greeted him gently, "I'm just going to ask you a few questions about your life with your aunt and uncle and what you think about what the accused has allegedly done in your name, okay?"

Harry smiled thinly and nodded.

"Okay, so why don't you start with what an average day is like for you?"

"Um…well… I wake up and race to get into the bathroom before my cousin…" he stammered.

"Why do you do that?"

"Because Dudley takes forever to get ready! He leaves his underpants on the floor and always forgets to open the window so the room is full of steam," Harry replied wrinkling his nose. Dudley facepalmed his hand and groaned.

"Go on, Mr. Potter. What happens after your morning routine?" Amelia chuckled.

"Well, if I'm up before my aunt, I'll cook the family's breakfast and get the newspaper from the porch."

' _He cooks? He does the work of an elf? How shameful, treating the boy like that!'_ was heard muttered from some of the lower tier Warlocks.

"Go on, Mr. Potter."

"If it's a school day, I get my backpack and make sure that my homework is complete and wait for my aunt to drive me and my cousin to school. I'm top in my class!"

"That's good to hear. What if it's not a school day? What do you have to do around the house?"

Harry shrugged, "I'll usually putter around our greenhouse getting the vegetables and flowers ready for transplant or I'll be in the outside garden tending to those plants. I have my own herb wall planter in my room too!" He was getting more relaxed and freer with his explanations and gave better descriptions of what went on in the household on a normal day. He mentioned hanging out with his friends and with his cousin's friends to go ride their bikes or hang out at the local park. He also described some of the chores that he shared with his cousin.

"It's my job to make sure that the kitchen and mudroom is cleaned and clear and also take out the kitchen trash. Most of the time, I just spend the day in my room or the kitchen reading and experimenting with my cookbooks and recipes."

"You've mentioned this before; you cook? What sort of recipes do you make?"

Harry shrugged a shoulder, "All sorts of cuisines from around the world. This month we're having American Southwest." Most of the room looked confused so Petunia rose to her feet.

"If I may? Harry and I share the cooking in the house but Harry's culinary skills are far and above anything you could ever believe a child his age should be able to have. It's actually rather difficult to describe his skills; they really just need to be experienced." She then resumed her seat.

"Okay… let's move on. Mr. Potter, please describe to the court your thoughts and feelings about what's been revealed so far."

Harry beetled his brows in thought, "I don't like him using my name for things that hurt others. It's not fair to people like werewolves to be opp…oppressed. They're only dangerous for one night a month! The rest of the time, they work in their jobs, live in regular homes and try to be normal people! The muggle born and raised should have the same rights to education and work as anyone else born to the magical world." He pursed his lips as he tried to find the right words, "I was raised to know that when you go to another country, it's up to you to get the information on how to behave in their society, how to buy things, how to speak their language. It's also the country's responsibility to provide that information too. I've been told that you don't do that here so why is it the muggle born children's fault when they make a mistake? How can they learn what to do when there are no classes on what they need to know?"

Amelia shifted in her seat, Harry's statement made a lot of sense, "Mr. Potter, if you were in charge of determining the accused's punishment, what would you want to have happen?"

Harry tilted his head down and nervously picked at his thumbnail again, "I don't think that he should be in charge of anything. He shouldn't be in charge of making laws and whatnot."

* * *

' _That little shit, who the hell does he think he is? I alone have the knowledge and ability to lead this world to become the shining example of what is possible! That little brat should've been meek, beaten down and easily led, not this…this strong charismatic boy, I wonder if this has something to do with that Horcrux in his head? Could Tom be influencing him?'_

' _It takes money, the knowledge on how to work the mindless sheep of magical Britain; someone who knows and can withstand the draw and dark power that public adoration can bring to a young mind.'_

' _The purebloods need to be in power, it's the only way to maintain our way of life; a life that has sustained itself for nearly a thousand years.'_

' _We don't need that modern nonsense the muggle born bring in every year. It's my job to slowly wear down their resistance and make sure that they have no hope of re-entering their own society. Magic should be kept within magical families, that much has been proven. Better to have the muggle born marry into magical families than for them to go back to their own world and risk the exposure to ours.'_

Albus' mind kept rambling on as he listened to the testimonies given by the Potter boy and his muggle aunt and uncle. The werewolf, Lupin kept on presenting evidence against his dealings with those in power. _'I knew it was a mistake letting that werewolf into the school but I needed a spy to infiltrate the Packs._

* * *

It was Albus' turn to defend his actions. Representing himself despite the lawyer's pleading that he let the man do the job he was hired and trained for, Albus got up and paced slowly in between the tables that separated the defendants and prosecution. He clasped his hands in front of his chest and peered over the rim of his glasses in his best 'benevolent grandfather' demeanor. "Ladies and gentlemen of the public, Lords and Ladies of the Wizengamot, you are here to witness a travesty. A travesty brought upon you and even myself. A travesty perpetrated by two greedy muggles who got a taste of the high life and now!" He pointed with an imperious finger at Harry, "Want to control our very own Savior and The-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry James Potter."

"Everything I've done for our society and yes, some of it was using Mr. Potter's name to get some things done by those that would resist the necessary steps to preserving our way of life, I've done for the Greater Good." He spoke at length that it was actually the boy's muggle aunt and uncle who came to _him_ to siphon money away for their own greedy benefit, "The boy costs us a lot of money to raise they said. He should be working to pay us back and if he has all that money just lying about, some of that ought to come to us!"

His arguments that those laws were designed to protect their society from 'dangerous and unsavory elements,' "What I'm trying to do is to save our society from undue outside influences! Every year, our safe and secure way of life is threatened by those who come in and try to tell us that the old ways are no longer valid. You all need a strong leader and that is I. I am the one who educates the young impressionable minds that their muggle ways are a hindrance to their futures and that they need to let go of their fancy _'technology'_ and embrace the slower, gentler path that magic provides."

He tried to play on the fears and prejudices of the crowd that the boy had gone muggle and would sooner leave magical Britain to the predations of the muggles if he had the chance. Albus could see some of the Warlocks nodding their heads in agreement with his speech and smiled internally. _'Sheep, the lot of them. They'll fall in line just as they always do. This farce of a trial will only serve to strengthen my grip over the boy.'_

* * *

The 'Mot retired to deliberate the evidence and returned almost an hour later with their verdict. A verdict that stunned Albus to his very core! _'How dare they go against me! Even the ones I paid off to vote in my favor turned against me!'_ It had been decided in a vote of 42 to 8 that Albus Dumbledore was found guilty on all counts of theft, fraud and illegal Will tampering from a Noble and Most Ancient Family. Albus was forbidden from any further interactions with the Potter and Dursley families. His accounts and holdings would be drained to start repaying the money he stole while his wages would be garnished until full repayment was completed. He was removed and barred from taking and holding any office within the Ministry and lost his seat on the International Council of Wizards as Supreme Mugwump. His appointment as Headmaster would be determined by the school's Board of Directors at a later date.

* * *

_**Outside the courtroom…** _

Arthur Weasley managed to confront Harry in the hallway leading back to the stairs that would head up to the lifts back to the Atrium.

"Mr. Potter, I'm very sorry what my wife and Albus conspired to do to you with that horrid marriage contract. Again, I promise that when I get home, she and I will be having a long conversation about what's right for our children." He said contritely.

Harry silently nodded his acceptance then at Petunia's nudging, held out his hand, "Thank you, Mr. Weasley."

* * *

_**Upstairs in the Atrium…** _

The floor of the Atrium was crowded with reporters and public all hoping to get a glimpse of The-Boy-Who-Lived before he could leave the Ministry. A platform had been set up and the Minister was pompously holding his own court with the reporters.

"I think justice had been served today. Albus Dumbledore did a very bad thing and is now being punished. Just because he'd been venerated for his actions nearly forty years ago for his part in the defeat of the Dark Wizard Grindlewald, doesn't mean that he can alter the laws of the land like it's his own personal playground. I just hope that young Mr. Potter and his guardians do not hold the actions of one against the rest of us and can rest easy now before Mr. Potter goes off to Hogwarts."

When Harry and company got back up to the Atrium, they were besieged with requests for an interview on how they felt the trial went. Petunia rolled her eyes at Remus who shrugged and suggested that they get it over with. The group climbed up onto the platform where Sirius took the opening, "Ladies and gentlemen of the media, Mr. Potter will be saying a few things and taking a couple of questions. Please limit yourselves to just a few questions. He's just a child and all this chaos is wearing on him."

Harry nervously approached where Sirius was standing and cleared his throat. He waved shyly, "Um…hi. Um…I think the trial went well. It's a shame that that man couldn't lose his headmaster job too but my…um, adviser? Yeah, adviser… he said that that job was determined by another group of people so I'm not too upset."

A hand went up, "Hello, Mr. Potter. Daniel Tribune of the Daily Prophet, do you think the verdict and subsequent punishments against Albus Dumbledore were justified?"

Harry nodded until Sirius reminded him to speak his answers aloud, "Um, yes… I do."

"Mr. Potter! You said in your letter to the editor in the Daily Prophet that you've not traveled around the world despite the claims of the books and announcements from Dumbledore. Now that you're aware of the magical world, do you have any plans to go visit those sites?"

Harry shrugged, "Maybe. You'd have to speak with my aunt and uncle about that."

The reporters turned their attention to Petunia and Vernon Dursley next. One asked what they thought of how the trial went and what their plans were for the coming future.

Vernon waved Petunia on, "We, as Harry's guardians, plan on doing the very same thing we've been doing for the past ten years. We will always be loving and supportive of our nephew to the best of our ability. We both feel that the trial went well and that Albus got what he deserved. Whether or not he remains as headmaster of Hogwarts has yet to be determined but at this moment, we both feel confident enough to allow Harry to attend come September."

* * *

**Time Skip July 1991**

The intervening months leading up to July were full of activity on both sides. Petunia and Vernon along with Remus and Sirius did their best to shield against or at least filter the news of what was going on to Harry. Harry was of course, happy to let the adults deal with the financial and public image stuff. He was only ten, he didn't need to know who said what and frankly, didn't care. He figured that by the time he got to Hogwarts, the whole thing would blow over. They were asked multiple times to give more detailed statements or outright interviews about their views on the verdict and each time, the requests were denied.

Also during the intervening months, Harry managed to teach Hermione the basics of cooking and baking; she could no longer claim the notorious ability to 'burn water' as she frequently put it. Her talents lay more in snacks and simple foods like egg salad sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches, baked 'fried' chicken or the occasional pizza but she was definitely getting better, Harry and Dudley no longer cringed when she announced she was bringing something over for them to eat while they studied.

The two future Hogwarts students received some preparation education in the subjects that would be covered in greater depth at the school. Remus taught them some of the general theories in their core subjects while the elective classes were occasionally touched on. Sirius took over when Remus was unavailable due to his condition or needed around the campground. Hermione's favorites were the etiquette and customs as well as transfiguration because it included things like how to hold and behave at parties and dancing with Harry. She enjoyed the transfiguration because it was a difficult and challenging subject akin to engineering which had always fascinated her. Harry enjoyed them as well (Hermione was a good dancer in his opinion) but his favorite subjects were Potions and Herbology because to him it was just like his garden and cooking. Harry once asked Dudley if he was feeling left out because they were going somewhere he couldn't; Dudley would just smile and shake his head.

"Nine whole months without having to compete with you for the bathroom?" he joked back and slug Harry on the shoulder, "I think I'll be okay. Besides, I'll be going to Smeltings so I won't be too bad off."

* * *

The Hogwarts Board of Directors held their meeting to determine Albus' fate and ruled that an observer would join the staff to oversee the headmaster position. That observer, known as a High Inquisitor, would be classed as outside of Albus' chain of command and report directly to the Board of Directors. Said position would not interact with the students unless it was an emergency situation. The question rose then as to who it should be. Many names were passed around until one of the members reached out to the Dursleys' for their opinion. The name that came back surprised everyone…

* * *

_**Late June 1991…** _

"You want me to take the position of _what?!"_ Daggerclaw yelled in shock and disbelief. Director Ragnok of Gringotts, the Board of Directors as well as Harry, Petunia and Vernon were meeting in a conference room within Gringotts.

"We would like _you_ to be the High Inquisitor to oversee the headmaster's job and actions within the school. You would be perfect for it, Daggerclaw. You are utterly impartial to the school's internal politics, completely honorable and driven to complete the assignment, honest and blunt to a fault and best of all, you'd refuse to take crap from Albus! You get to micromanage him to your heart's content every decision he makes and ignore his whining." Petunia explained with a smirk at the look of feral interest growing on the Goblin's face.

"Say I do take the position, who would handle my job here at the bank?" Daggerclaw inquired of his boss.

"You would remain in charge of the Potter accounts during the non-school days and they would be put on hold while busy with the headmaster. I do not foresee this being too much of a stress for you."

Daggerclaw sighed and glanced at each of the other occupants. He looked up to the ceiling for divine intervention before swearing something in the mother tongue, "Fine. I'll do it."

* * *

The conservative faction of the Wizengamot were naturally up in arms about allowing a Goblin into such a prestigious role, especially Dolores Umbridge. She kept complaining to anyone who stood still long enough for her to waylay and espouse her bigoted ideas that the Goblins should remain where they'd always been and leave the important jobs to the 'fine upstanding people of proper bloodlines.' Minister Fudge finally got tired of fielding complaints by his department heads regarding her actions and reassigned her to the diplomatic station in the Amazon.

* * *

**Friday 26 July 1991 Dursley Residence**

" _Brek!"_

Harry looked up from his reading of the comics section in the newspaper and spotted an owl sitting on the windowsill looking back at him with its golden eyes and a letter tied to its ankle.

"Oh, you poor owl!" He said as he got up and untied the letter, "Who sent you out so early in the morning? You should be resting; wait a moment and I'll get you something to eat and drink. You're more than welcome to roost in our tree and take a nap if you'd like." He pulled out a thick slice of ham and cut it up into bite sized pieces and filled a cup with water then placed it next to the owl. The bird hooted its thanks and dug in heartily.

When he read the letterhead, his eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets. _'It's my Hogwarts letter! It came! It really came!'_ He thought excitedly. He quickly read through it and took note of the request to send a reply back as soon as possible. He dashed out of the room then returned a moment later, asking the owl to wait. "I'm going to get a piece of paper! I'll be right back!" he said breathlessly.

He scribbled out his reply then rolled it up and reaffixed it to the bird's ankle, "I meant what I said, if you need a nap, feel free to do so. I may be excited but I won't endanger your life. It wouldn't be right or fair." He patted the bird lightly on the back then dashed off again to the mirror hanging in the hallway. He jammed his finger onto the button and called out, "Padfoot." The connection took an inordinate amount of time in Harry's mind but Padfoot's sleepy face appeared in the mirror.

"Yawn… what's up, Pup?"

Harry held up the letter excitedly, "It came! The letter to Hogwarts! It's here. I can be ready to go shopping in ten minutes, can we go today?"

Padfoot just stared stupidly at him for a moment before shaking himself awake again, "Ah, let's see what your aunt and uncle have to say, eh? I don't mind taking you but maybe later. It's too early anyways, most of the shops wouldn't be open." He gave a still sleepy farewell and signed off.

* * *

The rest of the Dursleys' arose and made their way down to the kitchen for breakfast where they found an overly excited Harry practically fizzing with energy. Vernon blearily glanced over at the coffee maker but saw that it hadn't been used yet so that went the thought that Harry had drunk some coffee. Petunia glanced at the calendar, her eyes widening when she realized that it was just about the date when Minerva told her that the 1991 calendar school year letters would be going out.

"Harry? Did you get your acceptance letter from Hogwarts perchance?" she drawled.

Head nodding rapidly, Harry practically thrust the letter into her hands before hurrying back into the kitchen to grab some homemade berry syrup for the stuffed waffles he made.

Petunia read it over and in a haughty voice said to Vernon, "Vernon? It seems like Harry got a letter to a school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It sounds all hoity-toity; do you suppose we should allow such action? Is the boy worth the fuss?"

Vernon grinned evilly, "Well, I don't know. What has he done around here that's worth putting in the effort to drive him anywhere? What sort of fees are we talking about? After all, if we have to pay then I say that we should be reaping the benefits."

Harry stared wide-eyed and mouth hanging open at the two of them before letting out an indignant screech and throwing his hands up in the air. Both adults broke down laughing at his reaction, "Relax Harry. You're going."

"Not funny," he groused.

* * *

Harry went over to visit with Hermione for the day to share with her the news that he'd gotten his letter and to plan for a day when their two families could go down to Diagon Alley to get their stuff. Thanks to the other times they'd been in the Alley and because of the foresight of both mothers, Harry and Hermione already had their trunks, parchment, pens and other hard goods aside from their defense book. This made things easier because they wouldn't have to fight the crowds aside from the ones in the bookstore.

"It's a shame that the Defense professor keeps changing each year, we could've gotten everything we needed in one fell swoop," Hermione commented that afternoon as she and Harry practiced their dancing one more time. Harry surprisingly never complained about dancing with Hermione, even when they didn't have lessons. He also never told her why he never complained; he liked being close to her and her hair smelled wonderful like freshly baked cinnamon bread.

"I would like to go to the Alley once more, I want to see if I could get an owl to take with me to school."

She looked puzzled, "You have a communication mirror, why do you need an owl?"

Harry shook his head as he guided her into a twirl, "Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon have the mirror. It's only between them and Padfoot. I want to get an owl because you can't send packages through the mirror."

She looked thoughtful before shrugging, "It's up to you or Miss Petunia, rather."

Harry did manage to convince his aunt and uncle to let him get an owl. It turned out that _he_ didn't choose one rather the _owl_ chose him. Harry had just entered the store when he heard the soft rustling of flapping wings and a moderately heavy weight settle onto his shoulder. It was a Snowy Owl and it was gazing at him with a content look and softly hooted at him before nuzzling and preening his hair.

"Right smart bird, you have there Mr. Potter. She's turned away everyone else who's been interested in getting her."

"She's beautiful," Harry breathed, "I'll take her."

When he and the owl got home, Hermione joined him up in his room so they could decide on a name. After a long and careful search, they agreed on the name of 'Hedwig.'

Day after day, Harry made a point to check off the calendar and excitedly stare at the date of September first which grew ever closer.


	7. We're Off To Be A Wizard (Or A Witch)!

**Chapter 7: We're off to be a Wizard (and Witch)!**

**Right after the courtroom scene, 'The Burrow,' Ottery St. Catchpole**

Arthur Septimus Weasley was in a foul mood, which to anyone who'd ever met the man; was wholly uncharacteristic of him. Someone had to really do something stupid to even get a mild rise out of him so when he'd learned that his wife had co-authored an illegal marriage contract with Albus Dumbledore between their daughter and Harry Potter, well that was the spark that lit the inferno.

He flooed home and bellowed out at the top of his lungs, "MOLLY ANNE WEASLEY! GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Molly came running into the living room, her face white with fear and not a bit of confusion, "Ar, Arthur? Wha…"

"SILENCE, YOU IDIOTIC WOMAN!" He interrupted her then lowered his voice to a hard growl, "Did you or did you not pen a marriage contract for Ginny to Harry Potter with Albus Dumbledore?"

"Art…"

"ANSWER ME!"

"Y, yes, I did but…"

"No! There are no 'buts.' You brought shame and dishonor to our family, Molly. I had to publicly denounce and rescind that idiotic contract you stupidly co-authored. What the bloody hell were you thinking?"

"Albus said that it would be a good idea to bring our families together before Harry started school where he'd be set upon by all those other darker families."

Arthur scrubbed his face angrily with his hands, " _Albus_ doesn't have the authority to do that nor do you have the authority to sign as the parent. That's MY job! _Only_ the Head of House has the legal and magical right to author a marriage contract."

Molly sank into a chair looking distraught and wrung her hands, "But he said…"

Arthur looked ready to have an aneurysm, "What? What did the so-called 'Great and Powerful' Albus _flipping_ Dumbledore say?"

She sort of twisted in her chair like a child being forced to give up a secret, "He said that if I signed under my maiden name, it would allow me to get around that 'silly notion of… Head of House… authority," she nearly whispered the last part as she trailed off at his thunderous expression.

Arthur was _livid_! He didn't command much respect in the Ministry; he knew that but frankly didn't care too much. But here at home? He was supposed to be the final word, the undisputed leader and _king_ of House Weasley! An idea formed in his head, borne from a barely remembered event in his childhood.

Pulling out his wand, he intoned, "I, Arthur Septimus Weasley, as Head of the Ancient House Weasley do hereby restrict my wife, Margaret 'Molly' Anne Weasley from communicating with the outside world. Her magic shall be limited to the confines as defined by the Wards of this House. Any and all communication with others outside the Family, be it in visual, written or verbal form, to and from said wife; shall pass before myself for approval or denial. This punishment shall continue until I or the next Head of House rescind it. So shall it be!" There was a flash of red light that encompassed Molly and himself before fading away. He gave her one final glare then headed back to the office.

Unseen by either of them was the daughter in question who watched the proceedings with wide eyes, open mouthed, trembling hands and pale face.

* * *

**Saturday 1 September 1991 Dursley Residence, absurdly early in the morning**

In a scene reminiscent of their fishing trip to Wolf's Bay a couple of years ago, Vernon woke Harry up at an ungodly hour. While it wasn't _super_ early like that trip had been, it was still absurdly early to Harry who hadn't managed to fall asleep until it was nearly two in the morning simply because he was so excited about _finally_ being able to go to Hogwarts!

"Gah…who, uh…urg…" He flopped back onto his bed and thumped his pillow over his face to block out the light.

"Get up, you lazy bum unless you want to miss the train to Hogwarts and have to walk the entire distance?" Vernon smugly suggested as he nudged his nephew's knee then grabbed Harry's foot and tugged gently.

"Urgenblarget…"

Vernon chuckled, "And good morning to you too. Come on, your aunt is starting breakfast soon and I want you up and ready to head out to King's Cross within half an hour."

* * *

Harry managed to untangle himself and ooze off to the bathroom to perform his morning routine, idly noticing that Dudley's underpants weren't strewn on the floor and that the window was actually open for once. Once that was done, he got dressed in a nice pair of blue jeans with his socks and trainers next before digging through his closet for his favorite lucky Iron Man T-shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair in one last vain attempt to get it to settle down before heading out of his room.

He entered the kitchen and saw his aunt busily making a batch of stuffed waffles and greeted her.

"Good morning, Aunt Petunia? Is that my recipe?"

She happily greeted him, "Good morning, Harry and yes. I figured that you'd be too keyed up to properly cook so I'll be the chef for the morning. I made two kinds of stuffed waffles; one with blueberry filling, the other is a French vanilla crème. There's a bowl of sliced strawberries in the fridge if you'd be so kind as to retrieve for me?"

Smiling at her thoughtfulness, Harry opened up the fridge and pulled out the bowl of berries and carried it to the table. Vernon walked in then with the morning paper and got settled, his cup of morning tea already poured. Dudley was heard thundering around upstairs, "Mu-uumm! Where are my socks?!"

"Check the wash hamper, Dudley!"

"Harry, your trunk is already loaded into the car," Vernon said as he turned the page of the newspaper, "Don't forget to pack your lunch basket."

"Thanks, Uncle Vernon."

* * *

Once Harry finished breakfast and brushed his teeth, he reentered the kitchen and began packing the lunch hamper with the sandwiches he'd made the previous day. In went a stack of paper plates, a handful of plastic utensils, napkins and a couple of bottles of water. Next were the travel size bottles of homemade balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing. Harry, along with Hermione, had spent a week trying to figure out which flavors they wanted. Harry was all for something original while she wanted just the basics; naturally Hermione won, especially after she broke out the 'big guns' when she pulled the pleading puppy dog eyes.

Once the bag containing the garden salad was packed in alongside the dressing, in went the bag with the sandwich buns followed by the plastic tub of slow cooker BBQ pulled chicken he'd made yesterday. He finished checking the basket and hauled it over to the door where his jumper and backpack were waiting.

* * *

**King's Cross Train Station, London Platform 9**

The Dursleys' and Grangers' met up in the parking structure outside platform nine and got their respective kids and their trunks unloaded. Hedwig had been sent ahead last night so she wouldn't have to suffer the indignity of being stuffed in a small cage the entire train ride (Hermione had talked about getting a pet but nothing had resulted from it.) As with all their usual greetings, the two prospective magical students embraced each other and jumped up and down chanting, "We're off to be a wizard! We're off to be a wizard!"

Dudley shook his head and slugged Harry on the shoulder, "Dork. Can't you even go five minutes without making a fool of yourself?"

Harry cocked his head to the side and put on a thinking pose, tapping a finger to his chin, "Um… nope! We're off to be a wizard!" He whooped excitedly.

* * *

The two families arrived at the location where Professor McGonagall had said that there would be marker to direct them to the portal to Platform 9 ¾. They all looked around confused until Hermione noticed the Hogwarts crest engraved onto a pillar. She experimentally touched the pillar with her hand and gasped when said hand went right through as if it were a mirage!

"I found it!" she yelped, "It's here, through this pillar." She demonstrated her experiment again to the others. Dudley tried to do the same but found that it wouldn't work for him.

"It won't let me. Aww…I wanted to see the train too!"

Harry thought about that for a moment before taking Dudley's hand and pushing it onto the pillar. Both of their hands vanished into the concrete. "Ah! I guess they did it that way so a random muggle couldn't accidentally fall through."

"Wow, a wizard did something logically?" Petunia quipped sarcastically to Emma who snorted in laughter.

* * *

Once on the other side, everyone stood there for a moment taking in the sight that was the Hogwarts Express. The Olton Hall class locomotive was a shiny jet red and black with gold trim and headed a line of seven passenger cars in matching colors. Dan noted that there was a baggage car right behind the locomotive tender and a kitchen/dining car right behind that, followed by three general seating carriages and two compartment carriages. The adults pushed the kids' trolleys over to where a conductor was standing, "Excuse me, sir? Is this where we go to get our kids' trunks loaded?"

The conductor smiled, "Just the two?" Once Dan nodded, the conductor pulled out a pad of tickets, wrote on two of them and tore them in half. Harry and Hermione were handed their stubs and instructed not to lose them. Once the station tags were attached to their trunks, the conductor used his wand to levitate their trunks into the baggage car.

The platform was quickly filling up with families and students. Vernon had found the two kids an empty compartment and they dumped their bags (gently setting the food hamper on the seat) and gathered around a crying Petunia and Emma. Both women pulled their respective charges into their arms.

"Harry," Petunia sniffed as she held his face between her hands and looked into his eyes, "I want you to promise me that you will do your absolute best in class, stay out of trouble and not go looking for problems. If that headmaster of yours tries _anything_ , go straight to Daggerclaw. I wrote him and gave him our permission to act as _in loco parentis_ beyond what your Head of House would be officially able to accomplish."

"I promise, Aunt Petunia."

It was Vernon's turn next and he gave his nephew a manly sort of hug and ruffled Harry's hair. Harry scrunched up his nose, "I'll make you both proud of me, Uncle Vernon."

"I know you will, Harry. Make some friends and show that school of yours just what a determined Potter can do." Harry grinned warmly.

* * *

The train engineer blasted the final warning whistle. There was a cacophony of doors being slammed shut with the kids waving and calling out their last goodbyes to their families before the train began chuffing and pulled out of the station.

Harry sat back in his seat and sighed; Hermione opposite of him sniffing back some light tears. He reached over and took her hand, "Hey, it's not like we'll never see them again, you know."

She laughed weakly, "I know I'm being silly. You'd think that we're being shipped off to war or something."

Harry glanced at the inner door then back to her, "What do you say about investigating the rest of the train?" She finished wiping her eyes and agreed.

They walked up and down the aisle trying to not bump or jostle the other students who were heading the opposite direction. It quickly became apparent that Harry was being recognized as he was constantly being stared at, something that was starting to annoy him. Hermione noticed as well and patted him on the back in commiseration, "You knew this was going to happen, Harry. Best to just get used to it."

"I know; it's just…embarrassing. I feel like I ought to have circus music accompanying me." Her sweet laughter rang out down the hall.

* * *

In one compartment, Hermione noticed one boy sitting alone holding onto a toad. She tapped Harry on the arm and pointed out the scene, "Let's go introduce ourselves. He looks like he could use a friend." He nodded his acceptance. He knocked on the door before opening it, "Hi! Do you mind if we join you?"

The boy looked up in surprise, his mouth dropped open when he saw who it was, "Um, y…yeah. Hi, me, uh…please!"

"Hi, I'm Harry Potter and this is Hermione Granger." He held out his hand in greeting while she waved her hand.

"Hi, I'm Neville. Neville Longbottom." He weakly grasped Harry's and shyly smiled.

"So Neville, you looking forward to starting at Hogwarts too?"

Neville shrugged awkwardly, "I guess so. I was surprised to get my letter. I hadn't shown much accidental magic growing up so my Gran and family kept trying to force it out of me. It was a shock when the owl showed up!"

Hermione cocked her head, "What would've happened if the letter never came?" Neville shivered violently.

"I don't want to know what might've happened. I don't think Gran would've banished me but I just don't let myself think about it." Neville then turned to Harry, "I've heard so much about you growing up; I think I'm still stunned that you're sitting here speaking with me of all people."

Harry grinned, "You seem like a good person, Neville and it was Hermione who spotted you sitting alone. We could always use another friend. So what House do you hope to get into?"

Again Neville shrugged, "I'll go wherever they send me. You?"

"Hufflepuff for me," Harry replied, "It's the one most closely associated with family, Earth magic, food and just…life."

Hermione agreed with his statement and said that she hoped to be sorted there as well, "I know I come across as the ultimate bookworm but I also want to make friends, work with others to achieve a common goal and frankly, I want to be where Harry is. He's my best friend in the whole world." She bumped his shoulder with hers and smiled warmly at him.

Neville was surprised and said so, "I would've figured you'd want to be in the same House as your parents, Harry. I never thought you'd want to be a Puff."

Harry held his hands out wide, "Well that's thing, I wasn't _raised_ by my parents so how could I be held to their same standards? My aunt and uncle raised me as part of their family so I would naturally look to them as my ideal of how to behave."

"True. So what sort of hobbies do you have?" He saw Hermione glance over at Harry and grin widely.

Harry cleared his throat and looked down, sort of shyly, "I love to cook and garden."

Neville sat up in surprise, "Really? Gardening? What kind of plants do you have? Do you grow anything interesting? I have a greenhouse at home." He said all in a rush, it was clear that he enjoyed gardening as well, if his questions about the care and handling of plants were any indication.

"I have a small greenhouse at home as well; it's sectioned off in two parts. The side in which you enter has the normal vegetable and flowers and behind a curtain is where I keep my magical plants. I only got that part started within the past year thanks to my Uncle Remus."

"You also mentioned cooking? What sort of things do you make?"

Harry smiled widely.

* * *

Hermione left the compartment to go grab their bags and the hamper. When she returned, she discovered that the occupancy had risen to include three other boys; one of whom was speaking to Harry in a rather pompous manner.

"…you don't want to go making friends with the _wrong sort_ , I can help you there." He held out his hand.

Hermione tapped one of the bigger boys on the shoulder, "Excuse me, may I get past?"

All eyes turned to her; the one who had offered his hand, a pale-haired boy sneered at her, "Who are you?"

"Let me put this stuff down and I'll answer that properly." She replied in a huff.

The larger boy on the left moved out of the way just enough so she could place the bags down on the seat before turning to the snobby boy, "Hello, my name is Hermione Granger of the non-magical House of Granger."

The boy blinked and straightened up, apparently not expecting such a formal response from a girl he didn't recognize, "Hello, my name is Draco. Draco Malfoy, Heir to the Noble House of Malfoy." He didn't offer his hand nor was she expecting it. She cocked her head in the direction of the other two boys. "Oh, this is Crabbe and Goyle," he said dismissively.

She waited for a moment before lightly clearing her throat. It was enough that the larger boy with the shaved head caught on, "I'm Vincent Crabbe of the Ancient House of Crabbe." The third boy introduced himself as Gregory Goyle, also from an Ancient House.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Now that the introductions are done, might I ask why you sneered at me? Why does my coming from a non-magical house concern you?" She answered with such an imperious stare that caused the leader of the three to wilt.

Sensing a trap but seeing no way he could avoid it, Draco blushed, looked around trying to not make eye contact and made some sort of sub-vocal comment about muggleborns trampling on time honored traditions.

Hermione thinned her lips in disappointment, "I see. Well, if you have nothing further?" she motioned to the open door, the dismissal practically dripping in contempt. The three boys slunk out as quickly as they could. She turned back to Harry who was practically rolling around in laughter while Neville was staring open-mouthed, "Miss me?"

Harry lost it at that and was on the floor laughing his butt off.

* * *

Just as they were about to get the table set up to have lunch, there was a hesitant knock at the door. Hermione opened it to see a pair of first year girls standing in the passageway; one with blondish red hair, the other honey blonde in pig-tails.

"Hi! I was wondering if you've seen a boy by the name of Neville Longbottom?" The blondish red haired girl asked cheerfully.

Hermione pulled back to show that Neville was inside. The boy in question perked up when he spotted the two of them, "Susan! Hannah! Hi, may they come in and join us?" he asked Harry with a hopeful face.

Harry shrugged a shoulder, "I don't see why not? Hermione?" she smiled graciously and welcomed the pair into the compartment.

The girl identified as Susan introduced herself as 'Susan Bones' and her friend as 'Hannah Abbott.'

Harry stood and bowed his head as was appropriate, "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, ladies. My name is Harry Potter and this is my best friend in the whole world, Hermione Granger." Susan's and Hannah's eyes nearly popped out of their skull when Harry introduced himself.

"You…you're Harry Potter?" Hannah squeaked. Harry just smirked and nodded once. "Wow! I've heard so much about you and your efforts to bring equality to the lower ranked Houses."

Harry groaned while Hermione giggled, "I never said anything about the lower ranked _Houses!_ Why does that paper always get their quotes wrong?"

Hannah just blinked owlishly, obviously not understanding so Hermione took it upon herself to explain what Harry really meant as the boy in question was pouting and grumbling under his breath as he dug into the food hamper.

* * *

With Neville's help, they got a foldaway table set up so Harry could unload the hamper of food. "So, as I've said, I love to cook. If you can think of the cuisine, chances are I've made it; From American game day snacks to full out fancy meals." He started pulling out the contents of the basket whilst explaining what they were. Neville's eyes bugged out and his mouth started watering at the heavenly aromas.

"Susan? Hannah? Have you had lunch yet? I've made enough for all here." The two girls agreed solemnly, still in awe at being in the presence of such a legendary person.

The food was dished out and soon they were enjoying their meal. Neville's eyes closed and he made a contented sigh of pleasure.

"Wow, Harry! This food is incredible. These vegetables are from your garden?" he asked as he held up a red and white ringed radish for inspection?"

"Yup. I've got the usual basic vegetables: three kinds of lettuce, two types of radishes plus a Chinese long green beans bush, regular green beans, cucumbers, tomatoes, and more. It makes the food taste so much better when it's fresh as opposed to buying it from the store with their unknown storage and shipping practices.

Hannah held up a forkful of the chicken, "What do you call this?"

"It's called 'Slow Cooker BBQ Pulled Chicken Sandwiches.' That goes with the sourdough buns. I found the recipe from a pen-pal of mine in the United States. What you do to make it is layer the chicken into the slow cooker along with measured amounts of corn flour, liquid smoke, onion powder, oregano, a quarter cup of apple cider vinegar, two tablespoons of Worst-of-the-shire sauce (Hermione rolled her eyes at that lame joke.) Anyways, there's a few other spices to add plus a bottle of barbeque sauce. You throw it all in there, mix it all up so the chicken is completely coated, cover it with the lid, and set the temperature knob to low and a timer for about six to eight hours. When the time is up, you use two forks to shred the chicken. After that, you can eat it in a bowl or on a bun like we're going to here."

"Wow, it's like sticky sweet heaven. The chicken practically dissolves in your mouth," Susan gushed as she savored the sandwich, "The sourdough is great too. It counters the sweetness just right."

* * *

While they were eating, there was yet _another_ interruption. This time though, the person through the door didn't even bother knocking. The door was just thrust open and a red-haired kid with a mass of freckles on his dirty face stuck his head in.

"Oi, I heard that Harry Potter was in this compartment."

Harry sighed and waved from where he was. Because of the table he was unable to rise to his feet to greet the newcomer, "I'm Harry Potter. Who are you?"

"Ron."

"Do you have a last name, Ron?" Harry could just sense that this kid was going to be a difficult one.

"Um, yeah. Weasley."

A memory of an Arthur Weasley popped up in his mind, "Ah, is your father Arthur Weasley?"

Ron's eyes narrowed a bit and he grew wary, "Yeah, why?"

Shrugging, "No reason. I met him at the trial against Dumbledore. He was polite and apologetic about that illegal marriage contract between your sister and myself that your mother co-signed with the headmaster."

Ron managed to have the sense of embarrassment and the tips of his ears pinked, "Yeah, that was a right loud argument, mate. Listen, I was wondering if I could join you? Everywhere else is full."

Waving his hand at the already full compartment, "So is this compartment. Sorry, but I guess we could meet up again when we get to the school?"

Ron was already trying to get Neville to move, "Shove over, squib. Let the real wizards sit."

Hermione let out a gasp of shock. Hannah yelled at the git, "How dare you!"

The look on Harry's face was thunderous, "Now look here you idiot! I will _not_ have you insulting my friends. Get out of here before I have you thrown off the train!"

"Is there a problem here?" said two voices in stereo. Harry spotted a pair of red-haired twins standing in the doorway.

"You resemble this one. Does _this_ belong to you?" Harry said in contempt.

One of the twins grimaced, "What did he do?"

"He called Neville here a 'Squib.' Both Harry and I do not suffer verbal abuse of others lightly," Hermione explained with an angry look on her face, "You need to remove him before he finds himself flying without the aid of a pair of wings."

Both twins rolled their eyes at their younger brother's idiocy and grabbed the protesting Ron under his arms and dragged him out of the compartment. They reappeared a few moments later.

"Sorry about that. You'd think that after five older children, our dear mother would have the parenting skills down pat. So… to introduce ourselves, my name is Fred Weasley and this is George."

"Wait, I thought I was Fred today?" the other interrupted.

Harry looked at Hermione with a glint in his eye as the twins went through an obviously rehearsed spiel, "Hermione? Didn't Professor McGonagall mention a pair of twins in her House? Something about how they liked to think of themselves as the reigning pranksters of the school?"

The twins trailed off and stared openmouthed at the two firsties.

Hermione tapped her chin in thought, "I do believe you're correct though when it comes to pranksters, you just _can't_ beat the originals. Professor McGonagall _did_ mention that the twins' pranks were old hat and rather predictable."

Fred turned to George, "Can you believe this Georgie? These two think that our pranks are old hat?" George shook his head in disbelief and dismay.

"And what about those 'originals' they speak of? Heroes of theirs perhaps? Maybe we should introduce them to our heroes?"

Harry gave a sly grin, "Which heroes would that be?"

The Twins straightened up and struck a heroic pose, "The Marauders, long may they prank! Four of the most devious people to ever have lived! Slytherins to this day still quiver in fear of their legacy."

"What were their names? I assume they had names?" Harry prompted.

The twins ping-ponged off each other in their response, "Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs."

Hermione let out a sort of strangled giggle, "Padfoot's head is gonna swell up knowing that their fans still know of their names and past exploits." Harry chuckled and shook his head at the look of shock and awe on the twins' faces.

"You know… you know who they are?" Fred whispered in awe.

Harry bowed his head solemnly, "I am sad to report that Prongs is no longer amongst the living. He died protecting me and my mother from the Dark Idiot nearly ten years ago."

Both twins dropped to their knees in utter shock. Fred whispered in awe, "Pr… Prongs was _James_ _Potter?"_ Harry sniffed sadly and rubbed his quickly reddening eyes. "Then that would make you Harry Potter? Wow, Georgie! We're in the presence of the Heir of Pranking Royalty!"

Harry smiled weakly through the tears, "Thanks. As for the others, the only one who I'll mention is the traitor Wormtail aka Peter Pettigrew. He's the reason why my parents are dead."

George looked puzzled, "Why won't you mention the other two?"

"Where's the fun in that? It would be a great prank if you and they were in close contact and you never knew it." George snorted and rolled his eyes before reluctantly agreeing.

* * *

The train eventually pulled into the station at Hogsmeade and disgorged its passengers. The new firsties milled around wondering what to do next when they heard a rough, West Country-accented voice bellow out from the night, "Fir's Yeh's! This way! All ye fir's yeh's! Don' be shy!" Harry could see a lantern swinging impossibly high in the air in the direction the voice came from. He nudged Hermione and led her and the others from their compartment towards the light. Their first view of the owner of the voice was one of awed surprise. The man seemed incredibly tall, even for an adult. His legs were as thick as tree trunks, his head seemed high enough to be able to see over the tree line! The man's face was covered with a thick, scratchy-looking beard but Harry could see the man's eyes twinkled with mirth at the approaching new students.

"Ev'ryone here? Alright! Follow me now!" He turned around and led the scared first years off towards a roughly cut path.

After a rather enjoyable boat ride where they got to see the castle all lit up followed by an arduous climb up a long set of stairs; the huge man knocked on a wooden door. The door opened to reveal Professor McGonagall staring at them all.

"The Firs' yehs, Perfes'or!"

"Thank you, Hagrid. I'll take them from here." The now identified Hagrid moved out of the way and headed back down the stairs.

Even though Harry and Hermione had known Minerva McGonagall outside of the school, within its walls she seemed a different person. More stiff and disciplined; definitely _not_ someone they would want to anger. She gave a short speech about the qualities of the Houses and that the Sorting Ceremony would start in a moment.

"I suggest that you all smarten yourselves up while I'm gone." She eyed Ron's dirty face in displeasure.

"Any idea as to how they sort us?" Hermione whispered to Harry, "I couldn't find it in our books."

Harry shook his head, "No but I doubt it would be anything dangerous. Probably just a personality test based on what sort of qualities the House Founders looked for." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "Don't worry about it, Hermione. We'll be best friends even if we get into different Houses." She smiled and relaxed into his arms.

Minerva returned and told her charges to follow her, "We're ready for you now."

* * *

**The Great Hall of Hogwarts**

' _This room is huge! I'd bet I could fit the entire house in here with room to spare!'_ Harry thought in silent awe. His eyes roved over the ceiling that seemed to stretch forever into the heavens. Thousands of candles hovered above them but didn't drip wax down on their heads. He heard Hermione whisper about how the ceiling was charmed to resemble the night sky. He took her hand in his and gave it a comforting squeeze and received one in return. She nudged him on the arm and when he looked where she was discreetly pointing, he saw that the House tables were nearly half empty. It was a sobering reminder of the devastation that had been wrought from the last war.

Harry tore his eyes away from the sad sight of so few students and focused them up at the Head Table. He easily picked out Dumbledore, sitting there serenely in a gaudy looking gold throne. Harry grimaced but refrained from saying anything. To the headmaster's left was an open seat presumably for Professor McGonagall. To his right was a short man, described by both Uncles Remus and Sirius as being Professor Flitwick, their future Charms teacher. Next to him was a middle aged woman with graying flyaway hair and an earthy quality to her. Padfoot had described her as being Professor Sprout, the aptly named Herbology teacher and Head of the House that they hoped to get into. Next to her was a thin man wearing a turban and finally was a sallow-faced man with a big nose wearing all black who seemed to be sneering in his direction.

A tattered old hat sat on a stool, seemingly out of place until a rip in the brim opened up and it began 'singing' a tale of the Founders and what its job as the Sorting Hat was. Harry shook his head in disbelief and could tell Hermione was doing the same next to him. _'A hat? That's what they're going to use to sort us?'_

Professor McGonagall read off a list of names for each of the incoming first years to come and sit on the stool while wearing the hat. Each sorting took anywhere from a mere moment to Hermione's case where it lasted nearly five minutes. Harry heard the Weasley idiot grumbling about how long it was taking and that he was hungry and rolled his eyes in derision. Finally, the hat yelled out, 'HUFFLEPUFF!' to the cheers of her new House and from Harry as well. Neville got up there and it seemed as if he were arguing with the hat. If a hat could look frustrated, this one managed it. It finally yelled out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Finally, after getting through a pair of identical twin girls, it was Harry's turn under the hat. He sat down and grimaced as the hat was lowered over his head. Just then he heard a voice in his mind…

" _Ah, welcome, Mr. Potter. You seem to be the talk of the school today."_

"Wonderful. What are they saying?"

" _Oh, nothing bad I assure you. Just a case of hero worship in some while others…well. Pay them no mind."_

"Let me guess, the ones who didn't say anything nice came from the House of the silver and green?" Harry snarked to which the hat chuckled.

" _Indeed. Now, where to put you?"_

"I want to be with my best friend. I want to be in Hufflepuff."

" _Are you sure? There's talent here, loads of talent I daresay. You should know that the headmaster seems to want you to be sorted into Gryffindor."_

"Too bad for him; this is my sorting, not his. I know that and I feel that Hufflepuff can help me with my talents. I want to become the best chef in the world and I can only do that in the House that's closest to the kitchens."

The hat rummaged around through Harry's mind and memories, impressed by what he saw. Multiple heartwarming images of past family outings, the recipes found and the food shared between friends and family.

" _Oh, yes. Without a doubt, I see. Better be…_ "HUFFLEPUFF!"

* * *

**Recipes:**

Stuffed Waffles with blueberry filling or French Vanilla crème (personal)

BBQ Pulled Chicken (Yummly)

Sourdough bread (Yummly)

Garden vegetable salad


	8. Well, this was unexpected: A New Flavor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently my Worcestershire joke fell flat… Well, I chalk it up to the fact that I can't pronounce it and not sufficiently doing my research to know how close Surrey was to Worcestershire or how popular the Lea & Perrins brand was. I've gone back and fixed it so I won't get any more hassle from reviewers who like to nitpick. (I did ask for y'all to review so I'm not too upset.) I also would like to credit TendraelUmbra and Stargon1 with the inspiration of Sorting differently than canon as well as showing off a certain 'Janus twins' true personalities (I think y'all know whom I'm talking about.)
> 
> One more thing then we'll get on with the story. I've found the lack of world building in canon to be appallingly lacking. I can understand the movies being light on the subject simply because of filming and budgeting issues but for the book to miss out? Shameful. Here's my opportunity to fix that and add a few details of my own.

**Chapter 8: Well, this is unexpected: A new flavor**

**During the Sorting Ceremony…**

"Draco Malfoy!" Professor McGonagall called out. Draco strutted up to the stool and perched like a pompous bird with a self-satisfied smirk on his pointy face.

" _Well, Let's see here… Mister Malfoy… Quite the brazen attitude towards everyone and everything else; Butting into other people's conversations? Charging into conflict with no real plan? Strutting around like a peacock? Openly and loudly voicing your opinions that everyone else who is not within your social circle, especially the muggleborn, as unworthy to study magic? Thinking that daddy will bail you out with money and family influence every time you open your mouth to say or do sometime stupid? That is not what a Slytherin makes."_

"So what? I am a Malfoy, we deserve the best regardless of what it is and I don't strut. Those mudbloods don't deserve to be here; they stomp all over our proud traditions and everyone should bow down before me." Draco sneered.

" _That is your father's rhetoric; you will need to learn to accept that there are others who might have a different way of learning and progress beyond your history. Your grandfather and father knew how to act like Slytherins but you expect it simply because of your last name? I hardly think that is where you should go."_

"You WILL sort me into Slytherin! Malfoys only go to Slytherin! My father is on the Board of Directors and he will make sure that you are dropped into a shredder if you don't sort me into the proper House."

" _Proper House? I agree. You will be sorted into the proper House. You're a spoiled little loud brat and there's only one place for someone like you to go though I pray for their forgiveness. Better be…_ "GRYFFINDOR!"

* * *

The Great Hall was silent. So silent that if there had been crickets, they'd be chirping. A hesitant clap was heard before dying away again.

Draco leapt off the stool and ripped the hat from his head, "Stupid hat, you will resort me to Slytherin! That jumped up piece of cloth is clearly defective! No Malfoy has gone anywhere other than the Noble House of Salazar Slytherin! I refuse to sit amongst the blood-traitors and muggle-lovers! I demand that you resort me! My father will hear about this!" His voice grew whinier with every demand.

"Mr. Malfoy! You have been sorted, now _sit down!_ " Minerva thundered, pointing off in the direction of the House of the Lions.

"No! I don't wanna! I won't!" He crossed his arms petulantly across his chest and glared at the Deputy Headmistress.

Minerva's lips thinned dangerously, "Then you have the option of being sent home in disgrace. Be warned that _everyone_ here sees you acting like a brat and will be sharing this with their families and even perhaps the papers. By morning, your father will most definitely have heard about this as the Malfoy name will have been dragged through the mud because you are acting like a spoiled brat! Now _sit down!"_

With one last act of defiance, Draco stomped his foot and slunk over to the nearest seat and plunked down. Every Gryffindor was aghast (or angry) at his behavior and resolved to make sure that he fell in line, even if it killed him…

* * *

"Ronald Weasley!"

" _Ah! Another Weasley! How many are there of you? Your family breeds like nifflers."_

"What? There's Bill and Charlie and…"

" _Be quiet, Mr. Weasley; I was being facetious. I know how many there are of your family; I sorted each of them so far. You are definitely not the sharpest tool in the box so Ravenclaw is out. You're nowhere even close to being loyal and you constantly shirk your duties around your home so Hufflepuff is out."_

"Shirk? What's that? Who'd want to be a duffer or a know-it-all anyways? I'm gonna be a Gryffindor! Where the brave dwell at heart!"

" _Yet I see here in your mind that you desire to be better than your brothers. You want to outshine all those above and around you. Your skills in chess outstrip everything except your atrocious table manners. That would suggest Slytherin."_

"No! Weasleys go into Gryffindor! Why the bloody hell would you send me to those slimy snakes? Gross, I'd rather go home then."

" _A Gryffindor would 'suck it up' to use the modern parlance and make the best of a challenging situation. Do you really want to be in the same House as a Malfoy? Were you not paying attention to his sorting? I know how much your families hate each other and if you truly want to return home to be with mummy, I can certainly accommodate you."_

"Parl…parsley? Accomo-what? Whaddya mean a Malfoy is in Gryffindor? Get off it, a Malfoy would never get sorted into the best House in the school and I was wondering when I was going to eat next, I'm hungry. If you don't sort me to Gryffindor, my mother will hear about this!"

" _Seriously? First Malfoy with his father now you with your mother. What is it about you spoiled, entitled brats? The pair of you are like the Janus Twins…"_

"The who? Are they anything like Fred and George?"

The hat let out a pained sigh and peered deeper within the redhead's mind trying to solve the mystery as to why the kid was so dimwitted but couldn't find any real reason other than he merely went along with whatever his mother screeched her overbearing opinions about. The boy had no talents in being crafty or sneaky except for his talents for tactical and strategic planning in his chess games. Maybe being amongst those who desired ambition to be more than their stations in life could assist this lout of a child? Either way, Gryffindor was _NOT_ the right place for him, neither were Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. "SLYTHERIN!"

* * *

Ron Weasley sat there on the stool with a blank expression on his face. It wasn't because he was shocked as to where the hat sorted him. He was, in his own dimwitted way; but he was still waiting to hear the words of 'Gryffindor.' It took a nudge from Minerva to get him to finally blink and look up at her.

"You've been sorted, Mr. Weasley. Please head over to the Slytherin table," she intoned stiffly.

Again with the blank expression, "Huh?"

She sighed internally, _'Dimwitted fool, he just proves my point to Molly about coddling her children.'_ She pointed over to the table, "Go there. Green table. Sit. Be quiet."

"Buh, Weasleys sit there," he whined out dumbly, pointing to where his brothers were sitting with aghast looks on their faces.

"Not you, now go."

A look of anger flashed over his face, "No! Weasleys' go into Gryffindor! My mother will hear about this!"

* * *

_**At the Hufflepuff table…** _

"Wow, I knew he was an idiot but this is taking things to the extreme," Hermione commented to Harry who slowly nodded his head in agreement as they watched and listened to Ronald Weasley making a fool of himself in front of everyone.

"It's almost like Draco but in reverse. My mother versus my father."

"It happens sometimes," a fourth year said as he rubbed his nose, "You grow up listening to the stories from the older generation about how great a particular House is or how bad another one is. Molly Weasley is legendary in making her opinions known loudly and to anyone who she thinks needs to hear it, whether they want to or not. In both of Malfoy's and Weasley's cases, they're probably just in shock most likely. Hopefully they'll come around and realize it. With any luck, Ron's brothers won't allow him to embarrass their family or their mother just may send one of her infamous Howlers."

"Howlers?"

"Red letter, screams out whatever you wrote as if you were there to yell it in the recipient's face. It's not pleasant," the fourth year rubbed their ears sympathetically.

Humming in response Harry commented that he'd hate to be each of the boys' parents when they found out.

* * *

_**The Teacher's Table…** _

The students weren't the only ones who were surprised by Ron's and Draco's sorting. The teachers were whispering amongst themselves about this new development. One teacher, the man at the end with the sallow-face and the big nose, Potions Master Severus Snape, sneered at full blast when he heard that the youngest Weasley had been sorted into his House.

' _A Weasley in Slytherin? Hell must be freezing over. I could see perhaps the eldest Weasley here being a Slytherin. The boy does have the drive to become the biggest brown-noser and stick-in-the-mud in the school. Even the twins, if I'm being honest with myself, could've potentially have become Snakes. Their potions talents while lamentably geared towards pranking is quality work I've not seen in many years._

 _James Potter's spawn is a Hufflepuff? What the hell is going on here? He should be amongst the rest of the loudmouthed dunderheads in Gryffindor. Well, we'll see just how idiotic and talentless he is when he gets into my class._ He snorted internally, _'I can only imagine how Lucius is going to react when he learns that Draco got sorted into Gryffindor. I wonder who's setting this year's betting pool? This ranks right up there with allowing that Goblin to be the High Inquisitor. This bears further investigation…'_

Albus was also in shock. _'What happened here? Why did the hat not sort these children where I instructed him to? No, this must not be allowed to happen! It goes against my plans for the Greater Good!'_ He was about to stand and set things right when he received a slight tingle from a necklace he was wearing. He let out a low grumble and sat back down and laced his fingers together to keep from crossing his arms like a petulant child. _'Blasted Goblin and his damn rules! I shouldn't have to wear this damn pendant like some rabid dog! I do need to get the feast underway.'_ He experimentally rose from his seat to begin the feast and found that the anti-ill-intent enchanted pendant didn't respond; he breathed a sigh of relief and gave his announcements before waving his hand and ordered the elves to serve the food.

* * *

_**Back at the Hufflepuff table…** _

"…Next, the Third Floor Corridor on the left hand side is off-limits to all those who do not wish to die a most painful death and finally, this year Hogwarts will be introducing several new subjects such as Wizarding Customs and Etiquette, dance, music and physical education as well as general muggle education classes in mathematics, English reading comprehension and writing amongst others for this year's incoming students. Further information about them will be discussed in the morning at breakfast. Thank you."

Harry glanced at Hermione and Neville to see if they were as puzzled as he was, "He does realize that this is a school full of kids, right? Giving a warning like that is just going to make the adventurous students _more_ likely to go investigate."

Hermione could only blink and look pensive, "Maybe you ought to write to your aunt and uncle about this? What about Daggerclaw? He should know too."

* * *

**The next morning, Hufflepuff Common Room**

Harry dragged himself out of bed like he always did in the morning. His morning routine done, he ambled out to the Common Room and flopped down on a couch and waited for everyone else to get moving. A few minutes later Neville came out and sank down next to him, his eyes still glazed over with sleep.

"It's too early to be up. It's Sunday for Pete's sake!" Harry grumbled. Neville was in too much of a daze as well to respond beyond an incoherent grumble. Hermione appeared in a cheerful mood and bounced over to them.

"Hi, Harry! Good morning!"

"Ah! Cheerful person! Run and hide!" he growled and feebly swatted his hands at her even though he knew that she knew that he didn't mean it. She just scrunched her nose up cutely, patted him on top of his head, grabbed his hand and tugged him off the couch.

"Come on! We've waited for so long and now you just want to sit and wait for everyone else?"

Harry finally relented and allowed her to yank him out of the Common Room, "Where are we going?"

"Breakfast."

"But the kitchen's that way," he pointed in the direction he'd been told about last night.

"Harry," she hooked her hands on her hips and gave him her usual exasperated glare when he was being particularly dense about something, "The kitchen staff isn't going to just let you use their stoves without being properly introduced. We'll go in there later when Professor Sprout has some free time like she promised."

"Fine…"

* * *

The three kids made their way up to the Great Hall where they saw some other early risers seated at their respective tables. Neville sat down at his spot from last night and pulled over a cup and a steaming tea pot. Harry peered up at the ceiling which had reverted back to the underside of the rafters, "I guess they turn off the ceiling enchantment at the end of the night?"

Hermione wandered around the Hall taking in all the sights. She climbed up the step to the Teacher's table and just out of brazen curiosity, sat down on the Headmaster's throne. She giggled at what sort of spectacle she must be making. _'A tiny bushy-haired first year sitting in the seat belonging to the most important person in the school?'_ (Never mind the fact that Dumbledore was a bad person, it was the office she referred to.)

Harry approached and with an overly dramatic flourish; he bowed before her and wished his Lady a good morning. She giggled at his display and thanked him in an officious voice she could manage.

"Does milady wish to begin her breakfast now?" He inquired in a nasally officious voice then clapped his hands, "Let milady's food appear!"

It surprised both of them when a plate of toast, butter, kippers and a bowl of porridge along with a pitcher of juice and skim milk appeared on the table before her. Hermione yelped in surprise and scooted back; Harry's bugged out, he was just amazed that it worked!

"That was…unexpected. Um, may I have my breakfast as well?" Harry said aloud as he took a seat next to Hermione. With a tiny pop, the same breakfast appeared in front of him. "Thank you! I wonder how the table knew what I wanted?"

Hermione giggled and wiggled her fingers mysteriously, "Oooh, it was probably the elves."

Harry looked puzzled for a moment before it dawned on him what she said, "Oh, yeah! I met one at the Ministry before Dumbledore's trial. Funny little thing, I suppose it's possible for the castle to have a few as well."

Hermione was curious about that, "Really? Elves exist? What are they like?"

"The one at the Ministry stood about chest height on me, and had large bat-like ears, tennis ball-sized eyes and seemed to be timid and ever happy to please. Got upset when it thought it made a mistake like it was afraid that I might punish it for doing something bad."

Hermione's face dropped into one of dismayed horror, "That's terrible! I hope you were nice to it?" Harry nodded silently as he reached for his spoon.

* * *

They ate in near silence. Not because they were out of things to say but because they were both mentally comparing the quality of the kitchen staff's cooking to Harry's. After finishing her bite of kipper, Hermione laid her fork down, "Not bad though it is rather difficult to mess up when making kippers. I like your seasoning blend better though."

Harry agreed, "Yeah, I would've done something a bit more…elaborate, I would think? This is about as basic of a breakfast as one can get. If it were me, I would've had a bowl of freshly sliced berries, stuffed waffles if it were a weekend or a layered breakfast bowl if it were a school day along with the juice and milk."

Hermione's eyes widened, "A breakfast bowl! _That's_ what I was missing! A bowl of scrambled eggs, crumbled bacon, sliced sausage with chopped bell peppers and shredded cheese…mmm… plus that homemade spicy sauce you make. You really need to be introduced to the kitchen staff. That bowl is just absolute heaven."

* * *

When the rest of the school started showing up for breakfast, the two firsties were quickly made an example of how _not_ to blend in on their first day of school. With a look of amusement, Professor Sprout quietly suggested that they return to their table so the headmaster and Professor McGonagall could sit down. Blushing madly, they scampered back to the proper table amongst peals of laughter from the other students.

Breakfast finished rather quickly as there was a lot of new information to be passed on. Albus stood and announced that the new classes were part of an effort to offer a more rounded education to the students at the request of many parents who felt that Hogwarts standards were slipping (anyone who knew Albus, knew how much it was costing him to admit that out loud.) "It has been made patently clear to me by the newly formed Parent-Teacher Association that by not offering classes in Basic English reading and writing, mathematics, physical education and the like; our future graduates and leaders of magical Britain will be unable to excel like we would wish them to. Additionally, there will be a new class covering the subjects of Wizarding Customs and Etiquette. I have been remonstrated that with so many new muggleborn entering our world each year, it behooves us to teach them how to navigate the intricacies of our world. The new classes will be mandatory to all incoming first year students while our second through seventh years have the option of taking a remedial course over the weekends." He then proceeded to introduce the teachers for the new subjects to a general applause.

* * *

Pomona came down to hand out their schedules early so as to allow the first years time to acclimate themselves to the vagrancies of a magical castle. Both Harry and Hermione eagerly took their slips and began to compare them.

"Ooh, look! Flying lessons, I can't wait to try that out," Hermione commented excitedly, "Do you think I can find some green face paint and a black cat quickly?"

Harry laughed and shook his head, "I dunno but I'm looking forward to Tuesday's Herbology lessons," He turned to where Neville was sitting and examining his own schedule with his tongue peeking out between his lips, "Hey Nev, Herbology is on Tuesday. You up for seeing if we could check out the greenhouses early?" Neville eagerly agreed to the suggestion.

"I'm kind of curious as to what they're going to teach in that customs and etiquette class and how it would differ from what Moony and Padfoot taught?" Harry side spoke to Hermione as he continued to take in his class lineup. Since she was sitting next to him, he felt her shrug her shoulders but remain silent.

* * *

Because it was a Sunday, it had been decided by general consensus to spend it exploring the castle and the grounds. Harry wanted to immediately dash over and introduce himself to the kitchen staff but Hermione remonstrated him that there was more to life than just the kitchens, "Harry! You're going to be here for nine months of the year and seven years total. That's plenty of time to make friends with the kitchen staff and demonstrate your talents."

"But Hermione…" he whined pitifully but she wouldn't be swayed.

"No, we are going to see the rest of the castle _then_ we can go to the kitchens if there's any time left in the day; now come on." She finished imperiously with her nose cutely stuck in the air. Harry quickly realized she was just teasing him and relaxed. If Hermione was being this bossy, it meant that she was just as curious but refused to act _childish_ in front of so many new people. He gave her a 'Harry Potter Classic' and let loose with a 'guaranteed to turn her insides to mush,' lop-sided smirk and turned his eyes on her to show off those luscious green orbs she loved so much.

The result was as always, hilarious; Hermione tripped over her feet and careened off the wall as she turned to lead him away from the kitchens.

* * *

**Gryffindor Dorms**

Draco Malfoy was _not_ a happy Gryffindor. He had made that quite clear the previous night and now he had to deal with the fallout in the morning. He tried to get up out of bed but found himself stuck beneath the sheets and unable to move. He tried yelling for help but found that there was either no one in the room or his voice had been silenced (or both). He was getting desperate and in dire need of the loo. Just as he was about to scream in despair, the door to his dorm opened and admitted an older red-haired teenage boy.

"Mr. Malfoy! What are you still doing in bed? It's past time to get up already."

Draco tried to respond but couldn't make himself heard. This clued the older boy that there might be something amiss. A wave of his wand and Draco could suddenly move and speak.

"Gah! I'll be right back!" Draco yelled as he dashed off to the bathroom. When he returned, his ire was stratospheric, "Someone did this to me last night while I was sleeping and when my father hears about how they treated his heir, there will be hell to pay."

The teen with a prefect badge on his chest, Percy Weasley sighed in disdain and rubbed the bridge of his nose. _'Why couldn't it have been someone else to deal with this brat this early in the morning? I don't have time for this.'_

"Mr. Malfoy, you have approximately ten minutes to get ready for the day so I can escort you to the Great Hall for breakfast and morning announcements. Get moving." He ushered Draco off. _'I never thought I'd live to see the day when I would prefer to deal with the antics of the twins over putting up with the mouthy attitude of a Malfoy.'_

* * *

**Slytherin Dorms**

Ron Weasley was not a happy person either. While he'd not gotten the same sort of rude treatment that Draco did, he was being treated as some sort of interesting bug to poked and prodded to see what his reaction would be. The older years ignored him for the most part; there were still one or two from the darker families that made an occasional snide comment about something that had to do with his family's honor...he thought. Unfortunately for Ronald Weasley, they always used big words and refused to explain what they meant. He tried to get loud like his mother since he knew that when she got that way, she got the results she wanted but in his case; all it resulted was a silencing charm, a stinging charm and a mild banishing hex thrown at him.

As he was still new to the Art of Magic, he didn't know how to dispel the silencing charm so he had to wait until it wore off. The next morning, he had to be physically dragged out of bed and practically kicked into the showers before he finally got himself underway. It was only the promise of food that he showed some signs of life.

His rat, Scabbers, ducked under the bed and cowered in fear…

* * *

**Headmaster's Office**

Albus sighed once again as he re-entered his office and sat down in his chair. This was shaping up to be the most vexing year and it had just barely gotten started! New classes, new teachers, progress happening faster and without his input! It was intolerable and flew in the face of his vision for the Greater Good. He scrubbed his hands over his face and looked over his desk to see what that blasted Goblin had in mind to torture him with today.

There was a stack of forms that needed to be filled out, topped with a note stating that these new forms superseded the ones he'd just wasted nearly half the day yesterday on. Grumbling once more about the injustice being heaped upon him by the universe, he pulled out his quill and got to work.

* * *

_**In Daggerclaw's office next to the Gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office…** _

Daggerclaw was, surprisingly he realized, having the time of his life. Sure, he had to put up with the near constant grumblings and other whiny outbursts of perceived indignations by that blowhard, Albus Dumbledore but by and large the opportunity to 'stick it to him' was just too good to pass up.

' _It makes me wonder why I tried to get out of it all those months ago? Why did I not see this as a good thing? It's almost like a vacation! I get to find the most obscure rules and make Dumbledore dance to my tune. Those contradicting forms for example, idiot wizards think they're the Masters of convoluted paperwork? Ha! This morning's stack ought to cause the old goat to have an aneurysm.'_

He rose from his chair and swept into Albus' office, striding across the floor carrying yet another sheaf of useless forms. "Have you completed the new IN-D-DO/2 forms yet, Albus? I don't have all day."

Albus tried to glare at him but Daggerclaw had seen worse, "I just got into my office and sat down! Give me at least an hour to try and get through this before you start barking at me. Why do I need to deal with these forms anyways? They contradict the ones you had me fill out yesterday."

"The IN-D-DO/2 forms supersede the IN-D-DO forms which state that the H2-IK requests need to be processed first. If they are not then the ID-10T rules come into play."

Albus just growled once more and returned to filling out the forms.

* * *

Harry knocked on Daggerclaw's door and waited to be called in. When the door opened and Daggerclaw ushered him in, he gazed around the room and noticed how stark and austere it was.

"Good morning, Daggerclaw. How are you settling in?"

Daggerclaw chuckled, "I'm doing quite well. It's funny but when your aunt and uncle first suggested this position, I thought I was being punished for something I did but as it turns out; I'm having the time of my life. This job really isn't all that stressful, I've had worse back in Gringotts. The most tiring part is trying to come up with new methods of torturing the headmaster with inane assignments. This week I've got him going around in circles with fake forms he needs to fill out in order to receive imaginary equipment the school would never need."

Harry wrapped his arms around himself as he started hiccupping from laughing so much, "That's…hic, that's great! Have you written to my aunt…hic, about what you've done to the headmaster so far? I bet she'd love to know what you've accomplished."

Daggerclaw clicked his fingers, "Good idea, Mr. Potter. Now, how are you doing?"

Harry's laughter subsided, "Pretty good. Hermione and I got sorted into Hufflepuff just like we'd both hoped. Did you know that our House is right across the hallway to the kitchens? I'm really looking forward to seeing the legendary kitchens my uncles told me about. Today Hermione and I spent a couple of hours wandering about the castle trying to get a sense of what's where. Those moving portraits are awesome! The greenhouses were locked unfortunately so we couldn't get in. The Grand Staircase is incredible! It moves back and forth sending you off in another direction sometimes."

Daggerclaw shook his head at the continued inanity of wizarding architecture though he did admit that the moving staircase was a potential tactical advantage he should suggest to Director Ragnok. "Anything else you think I ought to know about?"

Harry thought for a moment, "Oh, yeah! Do you know why the headmaster would tell everyone not to go near the third floor corridor on the left hand side 'unless we wished to die a most painful death'?"

Daggerclaw's eyes widened briefly then narrowed in anger and glanced in the direction of the man's door, "No, I do not. I don't know why he would say such a thing. That's very suspect, Mr. Potter and I thank you for bringing it to my attention."

* * *

**Monday morning, 3 September 1991 Great Hall**

'Once more unto the breach' would've been Harry's thought _if_ he were dreading the outcome of the day. Fortunately for him he was looking forward to getting his class schedule and start learning magic! It had been only two days and in that time, he'd had to put up with the near constant stares and whispers surrounding his appearance and celebrity status. Hermione plopped down next to him and gave him a brief hug before reaching out to snag the plate of bacon.

Neville, Susan and Hannah appeared a moment later and joined them for breakfast. Susan was really looking forward to seeing what the muggle education stuff was all about while Hannah was interested getting started with the dance class.

Harry bit into his slice of breakfast bruschetta he'd whipped up on the spot with sliced sausage topped with a soft-boiled egg and a slice of Swiss cheese and a smear of mustard he'd brought from home on a slice of toasted white bread, "Dance? Ugh, I thought we were going to be done with that."

Hermione giggled, "Just because Padfoot was done teaching us doesn't mean that there aren't other styles of dancing to learn. Besides, I don't know why you're complaining; it was fun learning to dance with you." Harry blushed at the compliment.

* * *

**Transfiguration classroom**

When the Puff contingent entered the classroom, they wondered where the professor was. Susan spotted the cat sitting primly on the desk but there was no sign of McGonagall. Harry paused and narrowed his eyes after setting down his backpack. He cocked his head in thought and slowly walked up to the cat who peered back at him.

"Harry?" he distantly heard Hermione calling him.

"Something strange about this cat… There's no wariness in its behavior when I approached. A real cat would've pulled back in case I was a threat. If anything, I'd say that this cat isn't a real cat but more like Uncle Sirius." He murmured mostly to himself though the cat's ears did perk up.

The bell rang and he gave the cat one last contemplative stare before rejoining the others. The cat blinked once and jumped from the desk, transforming into Professor Minerva McGonagall halfway through the arc. There was a bit of excited chatter and light applause from the students which caused the teacher to twitch her lips in faint pride.

"Congratulations, five points to Mr. Potter for your thorough analysis of determining if I were a real cat or not," She turned serious on them, "Transfiguration is the study of changing one object into another. I will stress that joking around, horseplay and lack of attention to what you are assigned will have you quickly dismissed from my class. As this is a core required class, if you are dismissed you will have to explain to your parents why they must now pay for a private tutor. Do not test me on this."

Over the next forty-five minutes, the professor had them taking a copious amount of notes. When they only had about fifteen minutes left, she demonstrated the incantation and wand movements to transform a matchstick into a needle. "I want you to understand, you must visualize what the final product will look like in your mind. Once you have that, I want you to imagine channeling your magic from wherever you think it is within you, down through your arm and out of your wand. You are asking your magic to accomplish this task. Without that visualization, you will accomplish nothing."

Harry picked up his matchstick and examined it carefully. He placed it down again and pulled out his wand. He thought about one of the many needles in Aunt Petunia's pincushion back home and cast the spell. He thought he could feel his magic trickling through his arm and beamed brightly when the matchstick wavered a bit before morphing into a bright purple needle with a sharp tip and a rounded eyelet at the rear.

* * *

**Defense Against the Dark Arts**

This class was rapidly shaping up to becoming the most aggravating class they'd ever taken. The teacher had a terrible stutter, stunk to high heaven with heavy amounts of garlic stuffed in and around his turban (the teacher claimed it was to ward off a vampire who was supposedly stalking him) and seemed jumpy around his own shadow. Harry wished that the windows could open to let in some fresh air to counteract the garlic stench but it wouldn't.

With an aggrieved sigh of defeat, he settled into his chair and tried to take as many notes as he could before his eyes became too watery and his nose stuffed up to where he couldn't breathe. _'I need to speak with Daggerclaw about this!'_

* * *

**Broom flying class, Quidditch Courtyard**

Both Harry and Hermione were understandably nervous about this lesson. Neither one had gone flying before unless it was in an airplane and strapped into a seat going on a vacation. Because they lived in a muggle area and even Wolf's Bay was populated with enough muggles; Remus and Sirius couldn't take them flying.

The brooms appeared to be relatively new and unscathed unlike the ones they'd heard about from the older students. Harry mentioned in an aside to Hermione that Daggerclaw must have done something to override the Board and Dumbledore to get the existing brooms replaced. He noticed that her hands were shaking slightly.

"You okay? Your hands are shaking."

Hermione squeezed her hands into a fist then shook them out, "Just nervous. I know what I said at breakfast but now the idea of flying around on nothing more than a tree branch is unnerving me."

Harry made a face in agreement, "I'd rather just keep my feet on the ground like nature intended."

When the Flying Instructor, Madam Rolanda Hooch arrived, she demonstrated on how to approach the broom and to get it into their hands by sharply stating, "Up!" She then had everyone mount their brooms while she wandered between the students, adjusting their grip or seating position. Madam Hooch led them through the basic patterns of controlling the broom handle; pushing forward or back to make the broom go up and down, rolling to the side to go left and right and leaning forward to make the broom go faster. Then it was just the matter of letting the kids go and slowly get used to flying without wings.

' _This is SO much fun! I thought I'd be terrified but this is so much better than I could've hoped for!'_ Hermione squealed in her mind as she soared through the air at about fifty feet above the ground. She experimented with the broom's (and her own) capabilities for acrobatic maneuvers and was pleasantly surprised at how natural it all seemed to be. _'Maybe I could get used to this! I wonder if there's a team I could join?' 'I wonder if I can do a loop?'_ She chattered excitedly in her mind while screaming in delight with every dive and barrel roll she made, her hair whipping in the wind behind her.

When they all landed (some more gracefully than others); the kids were congratulated by Madam Hooch and reminded that they would have another flying class come Wednesday then dismissed them.

"So? How was it for you, Hermione? Did flying around like a classic witch live up to your expectations?" Harry inquired with a knowing smirk on his face as he took in his 'glassy-eyed in a happy sort of way' female best friend.

"Oh, Harry! It was _wonderful!_ I can't wait to do this again. I wonder if there are any flying clubs I could join?" she gushed.

* * *

**Wizarding Customs and Etiquette class**

"Welcome everyone to your first class into the fascinating world of customs and etiquette. My name is Professor Elaine Bainbridge and it's my mission to make sure that you all will learn what you need to know to navigate the sometimes confusing and yes, even outdated, rules and regulations of magical Britain."

Professor Bainbridge, it turned out, was a cheery half-blood who'd been raised in the muggle world up until receiving her own Hogwarts acceptance letter. Her parents were professors in their own right; her muggle mother taught cultural anthropology while her magical father worked in the Ministry's Department of International Magical Cooperation as a diplomatic attaché. Her parents were aghast at the utter lack of proper teaching of what their daughter (and others) needed to know so as to not offend the more conservative members of society so they took it upon themselves to teach their daughter how to act and behave in this new world.

She began her class with an overview of what sort of behaviors were expected in her class as well as some of the things they could look forward to. "If all goes well, we might even be invited to a Ministry gala closer to Yule so you can practice what you've learned in a real world setting!"

* * *

**General Education class – English**

This was a class that all the muggle born and raised were quite familiar with and therefore wasted no time in getting settled with the way their new professor taught. The magically raised on the other hand, struggled a bit. Writing with pencils or pens instead of quills was a steep learning curve. Each of the magically raised kept looking for the inkwell bottle to dip their pens into which slowed them down. It wasn't anything bad per se, more funny than anything else. When Justin Finch-Fletchley was heard sniggering at Wayne Hopkins' struggles, their teacher took away two points and his pen before handing him a quill.

"If you think you've mastered the ability of writing with a pen, let's see how well you do with a quill." Justin just paled while Wayne sniggered back at him.

First up was a short warm-up activity of copying out a list of vocabulary words from the chalkboard into their workbooks. Next on the agenda was writing a short essay on what they thought of the magical world so far. Finally, there was a round robin reading activity where each student was given a paragraph to read aloud to the class to test their ability to sound out and understand any difficult words they came across.

* * *

**Hogwarts Kitchens**

Harry finally managed to corral Professor Sprout during their scheduled free time and asked her if it would be okay if she would show him where the kitchens were.

"Why?" she asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Because I love to cook and would like to be introduced to the kitchen staff so I can demonstrate my ability."

"You cook?" Harry stopped himself from grumbling at that annoying phrase everyone used when they found out he liked to cook.

"I've been cooking since I was five years old. I started out by helping my aunt with making a simple salad, tearing the lettuce and chopping the vegetables under her close supervision."

* * *

Professor Sprout showed him the painting of the bowl of fruit that guarded the entrance to the kitchens and demonstrated how to tickle the pear to get the handle to appear. Once inside, Harry's brain shut down and his mouth slowly dropped open at the majesty that was the kitchens. _Here_ was where the magic happened, in his opinion! Everywhere he looked, he saw those little beings known as elves scurrying around baking things, manning the stoves, cleaning or moving equipment around like a precision watch. Pomona chuckled understandingly at his dumbfounded reactions. He was puzzled that he didn't see anyone in charge.

"Um, excuse me?"

There was a flurry of squeaks of surprise from the elves and a bunch of them rushed over to him, "What does little sir be wanting? Does he require more food? How can we be helping?"

Harry worriedly glanced over at Pomona for help. She smiled warmly and explained that the kitchen elves were ready to make nearly anything he could wish for.

" _They_ are the kitchen staff? I thought they were just the helpers; like that one elf in the Ministry that brought me a cup of tea before Dumbledore's trial?"

The other elves suddenly parted to allow an older female elf with a different style of tea cozy uniform to approach. The elf dismissed the others to go back to their duties, "Tiny is being Tiny. Tiny is the Head Kitchen Elf, how can Tiny be helping little sir?"

"Um, hi Tiny. My name is Harry and I was wondering if I could come in on occasion and do some of my own cooking? I really enjoy the practice and would love to show off my talents."

Tiny's eyes cocked her head, "Little sir be cooking like elves? That is most strange. Does little sir not be having elves at home?"

Harry shook his head, "No, I grew up in a muggle home and my aunt and I shared the cooking for the most part."

Tiny thought about this strange new development, "Well, Tiny _supposes_ little sir could show her what he knows. This way…" She led him and Pomona off to a cook station set apart from the main group, "This being a station that new elves be learning to cook on before they is being allowed into the main group. Little sir be showing Tiny what he can do."

Harry examined the cook station and utensils noting their quality (and with the knives, how sharp they were) before asking where the pantry was. He was shown where the dry goods and where the cold storage was and began formulating an idea as to what would showcase his best work.

* * *

Deciding against anything too fancy, Harry decided to go with a hearty Scottish fish dish. He pulled his recipe notebook out of his backpack then hunted around in the pantry and cold storage for the ingredients for a recipe he'd made once.

Pomona and Tiny took a seat and watched as Harry began preparing the ingredients for his dish. "What are you going to be making, Mr. Potter?"

"Cullen Skink, ma'am. I figured that since we're in Scotland, I ought to make a signature national dish. Would you like me to explain as I go or would you just like to watch without the commentary?" Both requested he explain as he went.

Harry started his explanation while he finished tying on an apron, "So, the first thing any chef needs to do is wash his hands thoroughly to prevent the spread of outside germs and whatnot. No one wants to taste whatever you were touching before you got into the kitchen," he put action to words by washing his hands with soap and hot water in the sink, "Next, prepare all the ingredients beforehand so you're not racing to get something peeled, chopped or whatever while the food is being cooked. That's very important because if you don't prepare beforehand, you run the risk of ruining the meal. I have here one medium sized onion and it needs to be finely chopped." He expertly handled the knife and quickly and efficiently chopped the onion into small pieces. He reached into the cupboard and retrieved the white pepper.

"Next, I shall peel and slice these potatoes. As a gardening side note, I like to save all of my vegetable peelings and off-cuts to add to my compost heap. At home, I have two compost bins; one is the traditional 'pile it all in and let nature take its course' while the other is known as vermicomposting which utilizes earthworms to eat and break down the compostable materials like grass clippings, newspapers, leaves, kitchen scraps but not meat, grease, plastics or the slick newspaper inserts." He finished peeling and slicing the potatoes and put them aside.

"Next, I need to inspect the smoked haddock fillet for any signs of discoloration and rot. If there is any sort of rotting smell, you should discard it immediately. Fresh fish should still smell like the ocean. I also need to roughly chop some parsley and a bit of scallions." Out came a container of fish stock, single cream and milk, he put those to the side.

He moved onto the range top and pulled out a pan, "In goes fifty grams of butter into the pan and it needs to be heated until the butter coats the surface. Once that's nice and hot, I add the onion and cook it gently for about seven to eight minutes until it is soft but not browned. I'll pour in three hundred milliliters of fish stock and milk each and bring it to a boil. Once that's in, I add the sliced potatoes and let it simmer for about twenty minutes until they are really soft."

* * *

Both Pomona and Tiny were flabbergasted at the professional way Harry explained the steps needed to make the soup and how efficiently he was at preparing the ingredients. Pomona couldn't wait to get him in her greenhouses given his clear talent with gardening, what with the tips and tricks he kept interjecting into his demonstration. Tiny was shocked to learn that there were wizards who knew how to cook as well as the elves; it worried her that if this young wizard knew how then maybe there were more and they wouldn't need the elves.

* * *

"With the twenty minutes done, I add the smoked haddock and continue to simmer for another three to four minutes until it is cooked and will flake easily. Carefully lift the fish out onto a plate and leave to cool slightly. Meanwhile, crush some of the cooked potatoes up against the side of the pan with the wooden spoon to thicken the soup a little." He carefully lifted the haddock out and set it aside.

"When the haddock is cool enough to handle, break the fish into flakes and discard the skin and any bones. Return it to the pan and stir in the parsley and some of the seasoning to taste. Stir in half the cream while leaving the rest for a garnish." He scooped soup out of the pan with a ladle into three bowls and garnished them with a swirl of cream, a little more chopped parsley and a couple of chopped scallions before sliding the bowls in front of Pomona and Tiny. They reached for their spoons and took a bite of the fish soup. Tiny's ears drooped in evident pleasure while Pomona moaned lightly in delight.

Harry grinned at their responses. Their dining pleasure was music to his ears.

"Mr. Potter, this is exquisite! I still can't believe that you created this. You seem too young to have had much experience yet this soup belies that assumption. How much cooking do you normally do at home?" Pomona asked in between bites of the soup.

Harry absently wiped down the counter with a rag and shrugged, "I do most of the cooking when I can. It relaxes me and makes my family happy. That's not to say that my aunt no longer does the cooking, she'll do it if I'm too tired or have some sort of school activity that runs too late."

"Tiny is loving this soup but Tiny is worried that if little sir is good at cooking, he won't be needing the elves," she finished sadly.

Harry paused in his wiping, "Tiny, I would only be doing my own cooking on the weekends when I have free time. During the weekdays, I'll be too busy to try and make food; besides, the elves can do what I can't and that's feed the entire school. At _best_ right now, I can make enough for only about thirty people."

* * *

_**End of the first school day, teacher's staff meeting…** _

Albus trailed behind Daggerclaw as the Goblin led the way into the teacher's lounge. That alone would've been enough to set off another round of temper tantrums on an ordinary day but Albus was too tired to care anymore. Endless form filling could do that to a person. He was also sullen from the dressing down he'd received after the Goblin had ripped into him for announcing that the third floor corridor was off limits to, as he'd put it 'those who did not wish to die a most painful death.' It took all of Albus' persuasion that the corridor in question wasn't dangerous per se but did hold a number of personal experiments he was conducting and just didn't want to have any of the children snooping around and potentially getting hurt.

Daggerclaw fiercely grinned internally at the old goat's reaction (or lack thereof) to entering in first and brazenly sat down at the head of the table. This raised some eyebrows of the teachers as they searched for their own seats. Minerva came in last, escorting Elaine in while finishing some conversation they'd had on the way in.

She paused to take in this new change of dominance being displayed before dismissing it with a facial shrug.

"Let us begin the meeting," Daggerclaw announced, "Does anyone have anything they wish to announce first? Questions about anything?"

Filius Flitwick, the Charms professor raised his hand, "Yes, where's Argus Filch? I thought this was an all-staff meeting?"

Minerva knocked on the table to draw attention, "He's dealing with a busted pipe on the first floor. I promised to fill him in later."

Daggerclaw made a note of that, "Was the busted pipe a student related incident?"

"Not as far as I know. I'm sure he'll update me as soon as he can."

Daggerclaw accepted that and moved onto old business, "Next…"

* * *

After the meeting concluded, Minerva, Pomona and Filius gathered together in Minerva's office for a nightcap. Pomona started things off by waxing philosophically about the sheer culinary talents of one of her new students.

"Ah, sampled some of Harry Potter's cooking have ye?" Minerva smiled at the dreamy expression on her colleague and friend's face.

Filius looked confused, "Harry Potter cooks?"

"Nay, what Mr. Potter does transcends the mere description of cooking. What he does is orchestrate a symphony of tastes and sensations that play with your emotions."

"What sort of cooking does he do? Does he have a specialty?"

Minerva replied that he seemed to be talented in just about everything, "According to his aunt, he's made everything from breads, snacks, desserts, main courses and cuisines from around the world. Pomona here is so lucky to have him in her House and for the kitchens to be so close."

* * *

The rest of the week passed along as well as any first week in a new school could. Hermione thrived in their next flying lesson as she had in the first. She did get around to asking Madam Hooch if there were any first year flying clubs available. Madam Hooch informed her that such clubs were usually announced in their respective Common Room Bulletin Boards. Defense continued its downward spiral of interest with how badly the teacher continued to stutter and the overwhelming stench of garlic coming from his turban. History of Magic turned out to be an absolute bore. How could anyone make the history of their world boring? Well, their ghostly teacher, Professor Binns managed it. His droning manner of speaking put them all into a stupor; the weaker ones of the students actually fell asleep. Hermione vowed to speak with Daggerclaw about coming up with a possible solution.

The general education classes passed by with nary a complaint from the muggle born and raised. English, mathematics were easily accepted by the magically raised but when they got started with the mundane history of Britain and the sciences; that's when the denials were heard though fortunately not from anyone in the Puff contingent. Draco Malfoy and Ronald Weasley were the most vocal opponents of what was trying to be taught. Between the two of them, the two loud-mouthed brats managed to beat the record of the number of detentions in a single day.

* * *

Their Tuesday and Thursday class of Charms was fun and made all that more memorable by the tiny teacher who seemed thoroughly enthused by his topic. When Professor Flitwick called the roll, he ended up toppling off his stack of books when he looked up after calling Harry's name. "I'm sorry, Mr. Potter. For a moment there, it looked as if your father had returned to my class."

Harry just shook his head in exasperation.

As with their other classes, they had to take a huge amount of notes and listen to a lecture on proper behavior in the class. The first charm they got to try was a wand-lighting charm, _'Lumos' and its canceling companion, 'Nox.'_ Harry would suppose later that because he and Hermione had had previous instruction into the theory of the wanded subjects, it was easier to actually perform them. Visualizing was apparently key to getting a spell or charm to work properly.

"Professor Flitwick?" Harry raised his hand to get the man's attention.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I've noticed through my own trials as well as the instructions you and Professor McGonagall have given, that visualization is a key component in getting our magic to work properly. If that's true, why say the incantation at all and could I use any language I wanted to get the same result?" The rest of the class looked interested in this. Professor Flitwick was however, beaming in pride.

"Very good, Mr. Potter! Take five points for a logical supposition! Yes, visualization is a primary ingredient in making your magic do what you want. Without it, anything could happen. It would be akin to turning on a garden hose and not holding it in the direction you want to water. As for the different languages; the words are merely a guide to help your mind think, and yes visualize, what you want to have happen. When you get to sixth year, you will be taught to not verbalize your intent with the spell or charm and just use silent casting."

On Thursday, they had their second Herbology lessons. The first day covered an introduction as to what they could expect and be expected of to learn about plants and their uses in the wider magical world. This time however, Harry shared the limelight so to speak with Neville Longbottom. While Harry's gardening talents were destined to lead to cooking; Neville's talents with all things floral were more specialized towards magical plants destined for the potion brewer. Pomona was overjoyed to discover two extremely talented and budding (pun intended) herbologists in her class. So it was when they entered the potion's laboratory, Harry and Neville were itching to show off what they'd learned in the greenhouses.

* * *

**Friday Potions class**

If it weren't for Professor Snape's overbearing tendencies and scathing commentaries, potions might've actually been enjoyable.

Neville collapsed into a fit of nerves from the outset, unable to process the verbal criticism Snape kept throwing at him. Severus loomed over the boy and berated him for his screw-up when the boy in question failed to remove his cauldron from the heat before adding the porcupine quills. Severus whirled on Harry and yelled, "And you Potter! Thought you wouldn't tell your friend he was about to make a mistake? Thought you were too good for that? You wanted the limelight for yourself?"

Harry failed to respond to that rant other than raising a single eyebrow. This infuriated Severus to no end, "Answer me!"

Harry stood slowly in careful determination and stared directly into the man's eyes, "Potions Master Severus Tobias Snape; your tirade is not becoming for a man of your station and training. It was clear even to those focused on their own work that Neville was suffering from your overbearing attitude. I would hate to think that the man that my mother knew to be a potentially wonderful brewer and teacher had devolved into this spiteful, hateful creature I see before me."

Severus stood stock-still, eyes wide in fear, Harry's words reverberating in his mind and those eyes bored into his soul. _'Damn, I had hoped he wouldn't know about my relationship with his mother. Those eyes…How did he know?'_ "Um…my, my apol…apologies, Mr. Longbottom," He stammered and dropped his eyes, swallowing hard, "You are of course, correct…Mr. Potter. That behavior was uncalled for... If you have finished, please escort Mr. Longbottom to the Infirmary for treatment." He immediately turned from Harry, strode up to his desk, sat down on his stool and refused to look at anyone.

* * *

When Harry and Neville were excused later from the Infirmary, Harry led Neville to the kitchens where he whipped up a batch of hot mint chocolate topped with whipped cream and a sprinkling of nutmeg.

"You going to be okay, Nev?" Harry asked as he blew on the top of his drink.

"Ye, yeah. I think so." Neville took a fortifying sip and smiled warmly at Harry who laughed at the sight of the other boy who now sported a whipped cream mustache.

"I don't think anyone's ever stood up to him before. How, where did you learn to say what you said?"

Harry licked his lips and set the cup down, "I've had prior education in etiquette and wizarding customs before I came here to Hogwarts. My uncle Remus and my godfather Sirius taught Hermione and myself the 'Art of Berating Someone While Looking Calm and Collected.'"

When they got back into their Common Room, both boys were set upon by nearly everyone who'd heard about the altercation in class. Even the older years congratulated Harry on his successful verbal smackdown of Severus Snape.

* * *

**Recipes:**

Breakfast Bruschetta (Pinterest)

Breakfast Bowl (personal)

Cullen Skink (Yummly)

Hot Mint Chocolate with whipped cream and nutmeg (personal)

**Daggerclaw's phony forms and their meanings:**

IN-D-DO = Indeedy-do

IN-D-DO/2 = Indeedy-do too

H2-IK = Hell If I Know

ID-10T = IDIOT


	9. Letters, Molly's & Albus' Very Bad Day

**Chapter 9: Letters, Molly's & Albus' Very Bad Day**

**The day after the Sorting Ceremony**

Molly Weasley was sitting at her kitchen table quietly enjoying a morning cup of tea while waiting for the post owl to make its arrival carrying her sons' letters home. The Sorting Ceremony was last night and she couldn't wait to hear that her baby boy, Ronald had gotten into Gryffindor with his older brothers. _'Now all we need to do is wait for Ginny to turn eleven and get Sorted there as well and I'll have the complete set!'_ she mused happily.

A sudden flutter of wings and the tell-tale sound of claws skittering on the wooden table heralded the arrival of a post owl and interrupted her morning musing. She smiled dreamily at the owl and relieved it of its burden, "There are some owl treats and a bowl of water on the perch if you're interested." She turned away and opened the scroll. She read the letter once, twice then slowly looked up; her eyes focused on nothing before the red haze of extreme displeasure settled over her features.

"THAT LITTLE SHIT! IF I'VE TOLD HIM ONCE, I'VE TOLD HIM A MILLION TIMES! WEASLEYS GO INTO GRYFFINDOR!"

She angrily rummaged around through her stash of parchment and grabbed a self-inking quill before settling in to begin writing one of her infamous Howlers.

* * *

**Ministry for Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office**

Arthur Weasley was sitting at his desk reading through a repair manual for a vintage Ford Anglia, a stack of urgent requests for technical information lay ignored in his incoming box. He absently reached for his cup of tea only to grimace when he discovered it was empty. He rose from his chair and ambled along the hallway to get a refill. When Arthur returned to his office, he was surprised by the arrival of a Howler.

"Odd, the others usually aren't that angry at me to send me a Howler not when they can just stop into my office," he mused out loud. He pulled out his wand and cast a couple of diagnostic charms to check for anything illegal but it came up clean. He then visually inspected the destination note on the front (past experience told him of the utter stupidity of touching something magical that didn't belong to you.) With a pained groan, he recognized the writing… _'Molly, you idiotic woman…'_

"RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU GET YOURSELF SORTED INTO SLYTHERIN! I AM ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGED THAT YOU WOULD BRING THIS SHAME UPON THE FAMILY! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO BRING YOU HOME IN DISGRACE FOR YOUR BLATANT DISREGARD FOR ALL THE TRADITIONS OUR FAMILY UPHOLDS! YOU WILL GO TO THE HEADMASTER AND REQUEST A RE-SORTING OR YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT EVER COMING HOME! IF YOU DO NOT GET INTO GRYFFINDOR LIKE YOUR BROTHERS, I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU ARE DISOWNED FROM THE FAMILY!"

Arthur sighed in dismay, apparently Molly must've forgotten that all letters to and from her were routed through him first. He had received the letter from Percy first, detailing the surprising results from last night's sorting but he wasn't surprised by them. His youngest son _did_ have a few talents and attributes that would've led to him being sorted into Slytherin. _'The chess playing, his 'sneaky' attempts to getting out of doing his chores…'_ Well, perhaps I should go up to the school and console him; let him know that not all Weasleys ended up in Gryffindor.

His calm demeanor hardened, "Right after I deal with Molly…"

* * *

_**The Burrow…** _

Arthur had received permission from his supervisor to take a few minutes to return home and deal with his incalcitrant wife. The man had smirked and wished him luck, Molly's Howlers were legendary. After stepping through the floo, Arthur first checked the kitchen but discovered it empty. He heard the sounds of his daughter thumping around upstairs along with the faint notes of some song ostensibly playing on her radio. _'If we had the money, I would look into getting her dancing lessons. It's a shame that Pandora Lovegood died; she was such an excellent teacher of dancing and music.'_ Next he checked the paddock where their livestock was kept. There he saw his wife's distinctive homemade apron peeking out from behind a bale of hay.

"Molly!"

A clatter of a dropped bucket and a screech of surprise emanated from behind the hay bale, "Who the bloody hell…"

"Molly, get out here!" Molly squeezed herself out and turned to see who it was that interrupted her work.

"Arthur! Oh my, I'm sorry. I thought it was Xeno again! That man, I tell you…"

"Molly, did you forget about something I expressly forbade you from doing?"

Molly's eyebrows beetled together as she tried to remember. She slowly shook her head no.

"So, you don't remember that incident with the signing of that illegal marriage contract and my response to it?" He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

Molly didn't disappoint; her face went milky white and her features took on one of horror, "Oh Arthur! No! I'm sorry! I just… I got so angry that my baby boy got sorted into that despicable House! Please don't be angry with me. I… Once Ronnie gets re-sorted, everything will be better anyways…" She pleaded with him.

With a look of disgust on his own face, Arthur turned away and headed back inside. Molly trailed after him, wringing her hands.

Standing by the kitchen table, Arthur thumped a box full of unused Howler parchment and the quill that Molly usually used. He pulled his own wand and cast a spell onto the quill before handing it to his wife. When she took it, the quill and her hand glowed a sickly green. Molly dropped the quill in shock and rubbed her hand.

"I'm taking this box of Howler parchment and making a stop at Scribbulus. I'll be letting them know that any purchases made by you, especially for Howler paper, must be approved by me first as it seems that you _still_ can't control yourself."

Without another word, he flooed out of the house.

* * *

_**Back at Arthur's office…** _

Arthur sighed as he dropped the box onto an already overflowing pile of things he needed to deal with and sat heavily in his chair. His supervisor entered a moment later, knocking once on the door.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked with a knowing look.

Arthur growled lowly and pulled out a fresh pad of parchment and self-inking quill. Then he used his wand to cast the other half of the spell he put on Molly and her quill onto the pad and hung it from a peg on his wall.

His supervisor tilted his head in silent curiosity and glanced at Arthur.

"It's enchanted so that whatever Molly writes with her favorite quill will also appear on this pad. If she's going to disregard my explicit orders regarding sending out letters without my approval first then she needs to learn the consequences."

"What if she uses another quill?"

"The spell I used also bound itself to her hand so no matter which quill she uses, it will still connect here."

"Family spell?" Arthur nodded while his boss made a face.

"Shame that. It would've been a great one to use on the dark families when they think we're not paying attention. Does it show up as a recognizable spell?"

Arthur shrugged, "It'll show up as a sickly green light. I don't think I've ever analyzed it before. Never had to use it before but because of the problems at home and that court case against Dumbledore, I've had to re-read the Family Grimoire."

His supervisor accepted that and gestured to his stack of requests, "How are you doing with that?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, "It's slow going. Being the only one in my 'department,' it takes time to process the requests for their urgency and to dig out the information then to write a report in terms that the Aurors understand."

His boss looked nonplussed, "But you're the expert in all things muggle, how can it be difficult?"

Arthur grunted in amusement, "Sir, I dabble at best. It's not like there's a proper class at Hogwarts that taught everything we _should_ be knowing about the muggle world. What I would _love_ have happen is for the Office of Administrative Services to approve my repeated requests to set up a fund so I can go to muggle school and learn the things I need to know to make my job that much more efficient instead of bumbling around like I've been doing. I've done my research and muggles have classes in just about every sort of aspect of their lives and then some."

"Okay…what sort of classes would you think about taking?"

"A course in general automotive technology, general sciences, history, that sort of thing. Nothing too specialized but a comprehensive overview of what's out there."

"Uh-huh and how long do you figure that all this classwork would take?"

Arthur shrugged helplessly, "I dunno. No more than a year or two for something like the general sciences sort of thing. Probably longer for the automotives…"

His boss thought carefully, "Arthur, as it happens I'm on the review board for those requests and I can officially state that I've never had them come across my desk. Are you sure you sent them in?"

Arthur looked shocked! He quickly rummaged through his top desk drawer and pulled out a stack of forms that had been clipped together and handed them over, "These are the applicant's copies of those same forms all completely filled out and signed by the secretary for the OAS."

The supervisor scanned them over and grunted in confusion, "This doesn't make sense. This isn't our secretary's name. Why in the heck would Dolores Umbridge even care about this sort of thing?" he shook himself out of his murmuring, "Well, consider it approved, Arthur. I'll get you the funding but you need to get me the parchment from the school you plan on attending along with your receipts for school supplies."

Arthur beamed ecstatically, "Thank you, sir! I promise that all this will be a great boon for the department."

Just then the enchanted pad started writing out a message from Molly, _'Reminder to get more Howler paper when out picking up new knickers for Ginny.'_

Arthur groaned and thumped his head on his desk while his boss laughed and patted him on the shoulder in commiseration.

* * *

**Hogwarts Kitchens**

The door leading to the kitchens was wrenched open by an impatient Pomona Sprout and quickly followed by Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. They hurried over to where nearly every kitchen-elf was seated in a set of bleachers similar to the ones lining the Quidditch pitch. Pomona spotted Tiny waving excitedly to get her attention and quickly led the other two over.

"Did we miss much?" Pomona puffed heavily to Tiny who shook her tiny head.

"Just started. Little sir's just been inspecting his utensils and getting out his spices."

Harry looked up and smiled pleasantly at the crowd, "Hello and thank you all for another fun and tasty experience of 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks.' Today I will be demonstrating a delightful and savory dish that can be served as an appetizer or even a main meal. It's called, 'Stuffed Long Green Beans." A little background for those interested; Chinese long beans are versatile as well as having a pronounced bean flavor. They can be twisted to make tiny wreaths. Add minced shrimp and chicken breast as filler, then fry in a chili pepper sauce for a wonderful appetizer and a clever presentation. I see that Professor Sprout is amongst the audience here; Professor, for your information the Chinese long green bean can easily be grown in the mundane greenhouses just like you would for ordinary green beans. Now and always, the first thing that needs to be done is to wash your hands and prepare your utensils and ingredients. This recipe as it stands will serve 2 people but as with any recipe, it can be scaled up as needed."

"So to begin, you will need 8 stalks Chinese Long Beans. Clip off any stray bits that cling from the bush and drop the beans in boiling water in a saucepan and add a pinch of salt. Let that boil for two minutes. Once those two minutes are up, strain out the beans and dump them into a ice water bath then when cool, remove and twist the beans into a large circle about the size of a Galleon to make it easier to make the wreaths later and place onto a plate; set them aside for now."

* * *

Professor Flitwick was sitting there silently wide-eyed at the professionalism that Harry was demonstrating. _'If only my students in the later years were so adept at speaking in front of crowds when giving their presentations.'_

Harry continued, unaware of the thoughts in the diminutive professor's mind, "Next, smash the shrimp with the side of a knife and finely slice the chicken breast; dice the shrimp and chicken together then place it in a bowl." The sounds of two cleavers clacking on the cutting board echoed throughout the kitchen. A couple of elves were seen making notes on his technique.

"Combine the salt, black pepper, water and corn flour then stir well. Add this to the shrimp and chicken mash and combine until it forms a minced paste. Take the green beans from earlier and wind each of them to form little wreaths about the size of a Sickle. Using a spoon, stuff the paste into the center of the bean wreaths. Take a plate and slightly cover with olive oil. Press the circles into the oiled plate and set aside. This allows the paste to rest a bit and cling better to the beans."

Harry pulled out a large skillet and added a drizzling of olive oil then put it on the stove and turned the fire to a medium high temperature. "Once the oil is sizzling, transfer the bean wreaths to the skillet and pan-fry both sides of the circles until the meat is golden-brown then remove and set aside once more." The sounds and scent of the meat sizzling reached the audience causing all to sniff deeply.

Harry removed the skillet from the flame while he got out some more ingredients. "For the sauce, cut the scallions into pieces, cut the skin off the ginger and slice. Cut the stem off the red chili pepper and roll it on the cutting board while pressing down a bit to dislodge the seeds. Dump out all the seeds you can and save them. Why waste good money buying new seeds when the food you're preparing is offering a veritable bounty for free? Once that's done, slice the chili pepper with a bias cut." He gathered up the seeds as best he could and wrapped them up in a napkin to be dealt with later and put it aside.

"Put the scallions, ginger and chili pepper into the same skillet you just used and stir in the sugar, soy sauce and chicken broth then put it back on the flame and let it simmer. Add salt and black pepper to taste. Put the stuffed long beans into the pan and cook for about five to six minutes; use a spoon to scoop up the liquid and drizzle onto top of the bean wreaths. Flip the wreaths over occasionally. To thicken the sauce, make a corn flour slurry of 14 grams of corn four mixed with 48 milliliters of water. Add that to the sauce and continue stirring until it starts to thicken."

Harry reached over and pulled up a serving tray, he transferred the wreaths to the plate and drizzled over the wreaths and around the plate to give it a decorative look. With a final flourish, he spread his arms, "Serve immediately."

* * *

The look on Filius' face was one of rapture when Harry approached the trio of professors caused Harry to burst out laughing. He handed the wrapped bundle of seeds from earlier to Pomona.

"I take it then that Professor Flitwick here enjoyed his tasting?" Filius just dumbly grinned and let out a slow 'yeaahhh…'

Pomona and Minerva chuckled at their colleague's dazed reactions, "Indeed he did, Mr. Potter and thank you for the seeds. I'll add them to our stockpile, also ten points to you for that wonderful gardening information. You know, if you're not careful; you and Mr. Longbottom will be constantly competing for the top spot in Herbology."

Harry shook his head at that, "I doubt it. My gardening skills are aimed at what I can bring into the kitchen and cook with. Neville's on the other hand is geared towards what can be brewed into potions," he sighed deeply, "On that note, I need to speak with Professor Snape about the incident in Potions on Friday but I would like to have you go with me just in case."

Minerva cocked her head at him, "What do ye mean? What incident?"

Harry briefly looked pensive, "Neville had a case of the nerves caused by Professor Snape looming over him and making rude comments about his brewing capabilities. This resulted in Neville adding an ingredient at the wrong time and causing his cauldron to melt. Professor Snape then yelled at him for being a dunderhead and tried to foist the blame onto me. I may have said a few things in anger…"

Minerva's eyebrows rose then she slowly nodded as she assimilated the new information. A look of grim determination crossed her features, "Mr. Potter, doona worry yerself abou' it. I shall be speakin' wit Professor Snape abou' his behavior." Her Scottish brogue becoming more pronounceable the longer she spoke.

* * *

**High Inquisitor's Office**

"Albus! Get in here!" Daggerclaw released the rune that acted as an intercom between the two offices. The connecting door opened a moment later bearing an irate Albus Dumbledore.

"What _now?!_ I was just about to take a walk to clear my mind," he groused.

Daggerclaw held out a sheath of forms, "If you have time to take a walk then you have time to take this down to the Ministry's Office of Administrative Services to pick up our order of supplies. Be quick about it; I expect you to return within two hours." He turned back to his own stack of paperwork and ignored the build-up of ranting from Albus. Once the old goat had stormed out of his office did Daggerclaw belt out a deep and hearty laugh. _'Oh this ought to be good!'_

* * *

**Ministry for Magic, Office of Administrative Services**

Albus Dumbledore stormed into the office where all forms requesting everything from the tiniest seed used in the greenhouses to massive machinery originated from and were either approved or rejected. He thrust the stack into the outstretched hand of the secretary who'd been pre-warned that the headmaster was on his way in and what sort of things were being requested. After reviewing the paperwork, she stamped each form with an approval mark. In her most smarmy and officious tone of voice, the secretary directed him to head over to the Materials Warehouse Director in sub-section A113.

"Follow the yellow line."

* * *

_**At the reception desk for the Materials Warehouse Department…** _

After reaching the lifts and hitting the button for the level for Materials Warehousing, Albus was then subjected to the further indignity of having to walk for what seemed to be nearly an hour following that blasted yellow line through endless nondescript hallways then wait an inordinate amount of time at the front desk for the Director to present himself.

"It's about time, man! What kept you? I don't have time to be wasting for you to finish up your cup of tea or whatever."

Director Basil Thornberry harrumphed at Albus' intransigence, "Now, see here Headmaster Bumbledore! I'm a busy man myself and I don't appreciate you thumping around down here bellowing like a gut-sick cow. Now do you have the appropriate forms for me?" He held out his hand and yanked the forms away from Albus who thrust out the pile to him.

"Hmmm, let's see here… Form 1-LOS-E/R for 15 barrels of 'cesspool sucker'… Form ID-10T/2 for...no this one needs to go to the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures (he dropped that one on the desk), Form A/BU-(2T)H-EAD for an order of 25 skirting board ladders… I sure hope you brought something to carry this all in. Where is the form for…oh, here it is. Form N1M-ROD for 5 liters of acetylsalicylic acid, oh you're going to definitely need that at that school of yours… Now you seem to be missing forms A55-BA5K-ET and FO-0L."

" _What?!_ No! The High Inquisitor gave me everything. If there's anything missing, it's his fault," Albus thundered.

Basil was unimpressed by the display, "What you have here is two superseded forms, Mr. Fumble-Door. We just changed today. I can't give you what you've requested until I have the proper forms filled out. Just to be nice though you definitely don't deserve it, I'll give you a copy of the new forms to take back with you." He disappeared back into his office. When he returned twenty minutes later, Albus was clearly about ready to drop a large brick.

* * *

**Hogwarts, Headmaster's office**

By the time that Albus returned to his office, he was utterly exhausted. He bypassed his office and went straight for his apartment for a nice long soak in the tub. As he sank into the steaming hot water, he pondered everything that had happened. He had had to navigate through twelve different departments, suffer through the indignities of some very whiny office staff who dared to yell at him for invading their 'sovereign territories' like some common flunky all to try and make sure that the school received the supplies he'd been sent there for! He still wasn't even sure that the school needed some of these things, _'What the heck was 'propwash' and how did one use it?'_ but he really had no leg to stand on since every time a supply order came through before the appointment of the High Inquisitor, he foisted it off to Minerva to deal with. He still didn't understand why the damn Goblin had to give the problem to him instead of one of the countless elves here in the castle.

"I wonder if it was Minerva who ordered the Tartan paint? I hope that she ordered enough, I'd hate to have to deal with all that again."

* * *

**Hufflepuff Common Room, study area**

Hermione had her face practically buried in her non-magical history book while simultaneously scribbling out notes for an upcoming test next week. Susan and Hannah were on her right busily studying (and whispering) about their dance instructor and how cute he was. Neville was taking a break by stretching and wandering around the room. The smell of potatoes filling her nostrils caused her to look up, blinking owlishly.

"Hi! Thought you could use a bit of brain food for while you're all studying," Harry said as he placed a tray of fingerling potato boats down on the table. Each one was sliced in half, hollowed out then refilled with an assortment of tiny bits of fish, some kind of stiff cream and seasoned with different spices.

Hermione reached for one and took a bite before letting her eyes slowly close in delight, "Harry… what _is_ this?"

"Fingerling potato boats with a Sardine Genovese filling." He sat down as well and pulled out his homework for Defense.

"Who care what it is, it's heaven!" moaned Hannah as she slipped another into her mouth and savored the flavors as it hit her tongue.

Glancing around at what the others were working on, Harry asked if any of them had done the Defense homework yet. Susan raised her hand, "What part are you stuck on?"

* * *

_**Later in Harry's dorm…** _

Harry re-read the letter he'd gotten from Aunt Petunia. It contained all the usual reminders from her to study hard and be good to the professors and to try not to get into trouble.

_Dear Harry,_

_It's good to hear from you and that you got into the House that you'd dreamed of. Remember to study hard and stay out of trouble! That little spat you had with your potions professor should serve as a reminder that you are a student and not in charge of discipline. If it's the same Severus Snape that I remember from childhood (really, it ought to be. How many Severus Snapes could there be in the world), then the man should be ashamed of himself. Picking on a child who already suffers from nerves? Bullying others who don't share the same sort of devotion to his favorite topic of discussion? Shameful… but not for you to deal with; if there is a next time, go to Daggerclaw, your Head of House or the Deputy Headmistress and let them deal with the man._

_Now, as for life here at home; your uncle got the Pemberton order! He's so pleased that Mr. Pemberton came through with the order for 500 lots of those…drill bits, I forget which size. The president of the company personally congratulated Vernon and gave him a raise for his success! We went out to celebrate to that swanky restaurant I'd been eyeing for a couple of months now. (Don't worry, their food was good but nothing compares to yours.)_

_It's odd that your headmaster would word his warning about the third floor corridor like that. It was a good idea of yours to tell Daggerclaw. He wrote us to keep us informed that the headmaster backtracked and tried to pass it off as some' personal experiments he was working on and didn't want any interruptions.' You could practically HEAR the eyeroll from Daggerclaw. Anyway, that is being handled so you need not go investigate._

_I'm glad that the efforts of the PTA is paying off handsomely, it was heart-wrenching to find out that if we hadn't intervened, your education would've been severely disorganized. Who lets a school operate without offering general education classes or etiquette and customs for those new to the magical world? Sometimes I think Dumbledore was dropped on his head as a child… (Don't you dare repeat that to anyone!) Dudley's written and said he's getting settled into his new school as well; he's found that he's becoming popular once everyone found out that he plays the guitar. Beyond that, there's really not much to talk about. The garden and greenhouse is doing fine though the broccoli didn't make it. It wilted two days after I transplanted it and I don't know why. The weather is as it always is around here._

_Love,_

_Aunt Petunia_

* * *

**Wizarding Studies Classroom**

Harry entered the classroom carrying the partial remains of a wrapped sandwich in one hand and a bag in the other. He shrugged off his backpack and set it down on his chair before unzipping the top pocket and removing his books and notepaper. He put the bag inside and lightly zipped it back up. He took another bite of the sandwich and sat on top of his desk waiting for everyone else to show up.

His teacher, Charity Burbage looked up puzzled and occasionally sniffing the air. She spotted him where he was sitting and munching on his sandwich, "Mr. Potter? What are you eating and why in this class?"

He paused and examined his sandwich, "It's uh… barbecued chicken in a Cajun spice glaze… grilled Muenster cheese on toasted sourdough and I'm sorry about that. I didn't want to sit down in the Great Hall for lunch."

Still she was puzzled, "But why go through all that? It seems like an odd assortment of food."

Harry shrugged, "I felt like experimenting. It's not bad though, you want to try some?" Charity made a face and shook her head no.

* * *

Dinner time rolled around and once again, Albus felt that the universe was conspiring against him. Every time he sat down on his chair in his office, it changed from that wonderful ornate styling to something hideously boring like one would find in a monastery! Even his 'throne' in the Great Hall changed to a mundane wooden chair prompting whispers and finger-pointing. He could see several of the children immediately look over to where the Weasley Twins were sitting but judging by the looks on their faces, they were surprisingly innocent for once. It wasn't just his chair that would change into something plain and ordinary. His colorful robes would undergo a similar transformation. Whenever he was alone, they were as he'd purchased them; today's ensemble was a lurid purple with bright orange starbursts and glittery green rhinestones around the collar. However, the moment he was in public, they changed into a drab, muted bluish-grey with the most basic black piping around the cuffs and front half of the collar.

He sighed internally, it was just another thing he'd have to suffer until he figured out how to get that damn Goblin out of his castle. Albus was sure that the meddlesome beast was behind it all.

* * *

**Recipes used:**

Stuffed Chinese Long Beans (Taste Life – Facebook)

Fingerling potato boats with Sardine Genovese filing (Pinterest)

BBQ chicken with a Cajun spiced honey glaze grilled Muenster cheese sandwich on toasted sourdough bread (Personal)

**Daggerclaw's phony forms and items:**

Prop wash = Prank used on newbies in the aviation industry. In reality, a bucket of soapy water.

Cesspool Sucker = No such item exists.

Skirting board ladder = No such item exists.

Acetylsalicylic acid = scientific name for aspirin

1-LOS-E/R = 1 Loser

ID-10T/2 = Idiot 2

A/BU-(2T)H-EAD = A butthead

N1M-ROD = Nimrod (submitted by Rhys Thornbery)

A55-BA5K-ET = Ass basket (submitted by Rhys Thornbery)

FO-0L = Fool (submitted by Rhys Thornbery)


	10. Something's Cooking and it smells like Troll!

**Chapter 10: Something's cooking and it smells like Troll!**

**General Studies – Mathematics class**

Harry was busily working on the worksheet his teacher had given him at a feverish pace. The students were taking a pop quiz on multiplying fractions and he wanted to see if he could beat Hermione's record of always finishing first.

"Done!" he groaned as he heard her stage-whisper her completion of the quiz. _'Just one less question and I would've had it!'_

Once the quiz was done and handed in, they were put into groups to learn ratios and rates, stats, pre-algebra and a little geometry. Harry was re-reading the textbook when he overheard some chatter from Justin who swore he heard that the Defense teacher talking about some sort of 'philosopher's stone' and that he was telling someone named 'Master' that he couldn't figure out how to get past someone or something called, 'Fluffy.' Shrugging it off as the usual gossip that seemed to be the hot ticket around this school, he bent his head back to his work when all of a sudden Hermione let out an 'eep!' and jumped up out of her chair then bolted out the door.

Harry had a puzzled look on his face that was shared by every other boy in the room (and a couple of girls), "That was…strange. What just happened?"

Susan blushed while Hannah and a couple of other girls tried to look elsewhere, "Um, Harry. She…Hermione's…well…" She whispered the truth in his ear. Harry's eyes widened comically and his mouth dropped open before his face took on a distinctively green hue and he looked positively sick.

"Oh, god! I hope she's alright," he panted when he could open his mouth to speak without the fear of throwing up.

* * *

Hermione _was_ alright though greatly embarrassed that she didn't plan for that 'thing' to happen. She tried to apologize to Harry but he shook his head, wrapped his arms around her shoulders and told her not to worry about it.

"As far as I'm concerned, you had gas and didn't want to stink up the room. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." He said with such a stubborn look on face that she couldn't help but giggle, "Do you want to take a walk or grab a broom and fly for a while?"

Her eyes lit up at the suggestion of going for a flight.

* * *

**Quidditch Pitch**

After inspecting the school brooms for any damage, the two kids ran out to the pitch and laid down some rules for their impromptu challenge.

"First rule, neither one is allowed to pull any dangerous stunts to unseat the other," Hermione warned.

"What sort of 'dangerous stunts' did you have in mind?"

"There's one called the 'Wronski Feint' where the lead flyer descends towards the pitch floor as fast as they can then pull up at the last second. The chasing flyer usually ends up plowing into the field because they fell for the distraction."

Deal. Race or obstacle course?" Harry replied.

"Can it be both?"

Harry peered around the pitch and slowly nodded his agreement, "Fine, how about a slalom course around the bleachers followed by a accuracy test to see who can loop through the hoops without crashing into them finalized by an outright speed check to the finish line?"

"Okay by me. Stakes?"

Harry thought for a moment, "If I win… you have to carry my books for me for the week. If you win, I make you one dinner of whatever you desire."

Hermione's eyes lit up, "Oooh, I got _just_ the dinner in mind then. Ready, set… _go!"_

* * *

Their little competition didn't pass unnoticed. Nearly everyone who could be out on the pitch was there. Some were rooting for Harry, others for Hermione. If the two kids had been aware of it, they probably would've blushed from how memorable of an impact they'd made in their short time there since starting school. Bets were being placed (out of view of the teachers) and the magically raised were betting on Harry to win (even the Slytherins just on principle of the 'savior' beating out a muggleborn).

Hermione was in the lead through the slalom course; Harry just slightly above and behind. He dove in on her left side trying to take advantage of the upcoming turn and increase in speed but she managed to check his progress. She pulled a barrel roll right around his steep dive and used the sudden surprise to force him off course a bit. She was so close; he'd swear that he could smell her shampoo! It was enough that when they started their approach to the hoops, Harry was several seconds behind her.

Hermione aimed for the center hoop and the moment her broom handle passed through the opening, she was hauling back hard on the stick; standing up on the foot pegs to wrench as much torque to flip the broom around. Once cleared of the center hoop, she leaned hard over to her right and shot the lower right hand loop then pulled a tight figure eight to hit the upper left hoop and back through the center hoop. She then pushed as hard as she could to race to the finish line.

* * *

As they both landed, the two of them finally became aware of the cheering (and jeering) audience. Hermione's mouth dropped open in surprise and she blushed at some of the compliments she'd overheard about her skill with a broom.

"That was amazing, Miss Granger!" the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain gushed, "How long have you been flying before coming to Hogwarts?"

Hermione shyly fidgeted while Harry burst out laughing, "I've never flown before coming to Hogwarts. Madam Hooch's flying lessons was the first time I'd ever been on a broom."

The Captain's jaw was practically hitting the ground as she explained, "No _way!_ I gotta speak with Professor Sprout and see if there could be any sort of allowance that could be made to get you on our team. That is, if you _want_ to play Quidditch?" he finished hopefully.

"Weeellll…. I've never seen a game so I can't really give you an acceptable answer. Realistically, I just love flying. Does the school have a flying club?"

The Captain looked heartbroken that she hadn't immediately accepted his offer to get her on the team but shrugged it off. He mentioned that there was indeed a flying club that met on Saturdays whenever the members agreed on a time.

* * *

Ronald Weasley and the other Slytherins were stunned that this muggleborn was as good as she appeared to be and that she'd never flown before coming to the school yet despite all that, Ron was dismissive of the whole thing and insistent that she must've cheated in some way because muggleborns just weren't as good as magically raised kids.

"When I get on the team, I'll show everyone just how good a proper wizard flies; she just got lucky, I'd bet that she couldn't do all that again. Harry must've let her win because she's a girl and all that. She probably even promised to do his homework for him if he threw the race." He kept boasting to whoever stood still long enough to hear him.

Draco did overhear Ron but shook his head at the redheaded fool. While Draco did believe in the notion of pureblood supremacy taught to him by his parents, especially his father; he'd seen enough in Gryffindor to temper that belief that _occasionally_ someone who wasn't born to their world did have the skills to make something better of themselves and lift their pathetic lives out of the muggle filth.

He glanced over at Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas, his roommates and shook his head derisively while hooking a thumb at the ignorant red-haired Slytherin, "You'd think that as a Slytherin, he'd know to keep his mouth shut in public and only make those sorts of comments when in private company."

Both other boys nodded their agreement.

"I've seen the two of them together enough to know that Harry doesn't need to have anyone do his homework for him. He's talented and smart in his own right," Dean commented, "You know about his talents in the kitchen?"

Draco shook his head, "No, what does he do?"

"He cooks. All sorts of dishes like curries, pies, meats, you name it he can make it."

Draco's eyebrow rose in bemused surprise, "Really now?"

* * *

**Hogwarts Kitchens**

It was just after the race and Harry was back in the kitchens making plans. It wasn't for the reward that Hermione won but for her birthday which was coming up in about a week and a half. His best friend was turning twelve and he wanted to do something really special. While he was perusing his cookbooks and notes, Tiny wandered over.

"Little sir be planning another show?"

Harry smiled at the Head Kitchen Elf, "No, planning a birthday surprise dinner for my best friend."

Tiny hemmed, "What sort of foods does or doesn't Little Miss like?"

Sighing, "Well, that's the thing. She always tells me that she loves all of my cooking so I'm not really sure. I've been meaning to ask you; do you have some sort of master cookbook the elves refer to?"

Tiny waggled her hand, "Sort of. We is having a set of cookbooks from Mistress Hufflepuff. New elves be referring to the books when starting out. After a while, it be no longer needed. Why?"

"It's just that the meals are usually so heavy in consistency. Have you ever tried to make lighter fare?"

"Like salads?"

"Well, even the salads are heavy because of the dressings. Here, I'll let you borrow my cookbooks to see if anything here can be adapted to large scale cooking." He motioned towards his books; Tiny's eyes grew wide.

"Little sir be offering new recipes? Headmaster be saying that new recipes not needed, that old recipes be just fine." She said in a hushed whisper as if afraid of being caught by the headmaster. Tiny hesitated over the book closest to her; Harry nodded his approval and she excitedly settled in next to him.

* * *

The two Head Chefs read in companionable silence, the sounds of the busy staff behind them washing over them like a gentle ocean's wave. Harry had asked Tiny where elves learned to read and do the math needed to calculate increases or decreases in quantities and she helpfully replied that the elves had their own school up in their dorms above the kitchens.

"Huh, maybe one of these days I ought to recommend to Daggerclaw or my Aunt Petunia about seeing if we could get a class on how other magical creatures live and work," he commented to himself but Tiny overheard him.

"Little sir will be having that option in his third year. It being an elective class," she replied without looking up from the recipe on how to make Chicken Tikka Masala.

* * *

_**Dinner time in the Great Hall…** _

Hermione waited with bated breath for the celebratory dinner that Harry was obligated to create after her resounding success at winning their impromptu race. He promised that he could do it and frankly, he'd never let her down before. She told him that she wanted 'Stuffed Yorkshire Puddings' but left the stuffing up to him.

The tables groaned with the arrivals of the evening meal and in front of her on a prettily decorated plate of her own were two stuffed Yorkshire puddings with a béchamel and prosciutto filling! One bite and she was hooked, "Oh, Harry. I wish you were up here. This is _heaven…"_

Harry appeared a few moments later with a large knowing grin on his face. He sat down and began assembling his own dinner. He leant over to her and whispered, "I'm glad you're enjoying it. It does look like heaven."

Hermione's face grew puzzled, "How did you know I said that? You weren't here a moment ago."

Harry pointed at her plate, "That plate and the others in the set are enchanted to transfer your voice to the kitchen staff that can alter the contents as you desire."

She squeaked as she examined her plate again, "Really?"

"Hmm-mmm. Quite handy too, I reckon. Must make things a lot easier if you're hosting a party and don't have anyone available to act as a go-between."

* * *

**Headmaster's Office, the next day**

With an answering grumble about how the universe must still hate him, Albus tried to pick up the broken pieces to the dish containing his favorite tart treats. For some reason or another, he kept missing or bumping into things whenever he moved around. He reached down and ended up jabbing his finger on the broken edge and drawing a drop of blood. Once more he grimaced and stuck his injured finger in his mouth to ease the pain.

"Dammit! What did I do to deserve all this? What else could go wrong today?" He growled.

His intercom buzzed, "Albus! Get in here!"

Albus looked to the ceiling for divine intervention and heaved a sigh of defeat.

* * *

**Defense class**

Harry was wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him. Ever since the first day of school, he'd known that people would be staring at him for just about any reason. That being said, the staring that Professor Quirrell was giving him was really starting to unnerve him. It was almost looking into the face of a snake poised to strike. Every time it happened, his head would start to feel like someone had put it into a vise and was slowly clamping down on the handle. He'd mentioned this to Hermione as well as his other friends but no one had any ideas on what to do.

On top of that, the stutter that the professor supposedly suffered from was intermittent. Harry knew from past experience that there were some words that would trigger an episode but in Professor Quirrell's case, those triggers seemed almost…forced.

Today they were trying to learn about the tripping jinx, or _'Repello'_ and how it could be used in combat situation.

"T-th-the Tripp…tripping jinx can be the most effective spell in a wizard's arsenal. Easily cast and always effective…"

The longer Quirrell spoke, the less he stuttered which made Harry (and some of the more observant kids) rather confused.

* * *

_**Daggerclaw's office…** _

Daggerclaw looked up from his myriad of reports and documentation at the sound of the light knocking on his door. "Come in!" he barked.

When Harry poked his head in worriedly, Daggerclaw's demeanor changed, "Sorry about barking like that, Mr. Potter. Please, come in. Was there something troubling you?"

Harry sat down in the proffered chair and cocked his head at the Goblin, "There is but I need to ask; is everything alright with you? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Daggerclaw snorted lightly and shook his head, "No, Mr. Potter. It's mostly just the stress of straightening out the paperwork nightmare that Albus had created since he took office here as headmaster. I've seen trolls that were more organized than he is."

"Maybe you need to prank him more?"

Daggerclaw chuckled, "I would but I think he's finally starting to get wise to the whole thing. Took him long enough… I'll still throw in the occasional prank from now on but the phony forms have run their course. Now… what's brought you to me?"

Harry picked at his fingernails, "I've been having problems with Professor Quirrell. He's staring at me like a snake hunting a mouse, his stutter makes it almost impossible to concentrate or take notes from, and there's this overwhelming stench of garlic coming from that turban he wears. He _says_ that the garlic is to ward off a particularly troublesome vampire he met but I don't think any vampire would need to be subjected to that much garlic."

Daggerclaw cocked his head in thought, "How do you know that?"

"I have an acquaintance in Slytherin who has relatives in Eastern Europe where vampires have a…base, I guess. He says that the vampires aren't really affected by the smell of garlic unless it's as heavy as Quirrell's been putting on. I can understand that, that much smell is enough to drive anyone away. He said that it's a chemical within the garlic that vampires find distasteful. He's said that even when the vampires know that there's garlic cooked into food, they don't have a problem with it."

"That is actually quite good knowledge to have, Mr. Potter. Perhaps that acquaintance of yours ought to consider publishing that information."

Harry shrugged indifferently then continued, "A friend of mine in Hufflepuff, Justin Finch-Fletchley has said that he overheard Quirrell talking to someone named, "Master" about some sort of stone and how he couldn't get past someone or something called, "Fluffy."

Daggerclaw's face took on a look of surprise that morphed into anger. He visibly restrained his emotions and motioned for Harry to continue.

"Hermione's mentioned a few times that whenever she's passing the landing to the 3rd floor corridor, she swears that she can hear growling and barking from a bunch of large dogs. She confided in me that she _did_ take a peek to see if the dogs could be spotted but didn't go in further than the doorway to the corridor. She did say that she's not the only one to check out what could be down that corridor if the various shoeprints on the dusty floor are any indication.

Daggerclaw scrubbed his face with his hands, "Thank you, Mr. Potter. It seems that the 'deterrent' that the headmaster put in is not as effective as he thought it would be. Was there anything else?"

Harry thought for a moment then shook his head, "Not regarding the castle. I hope you'll be available when we celebrate Hermione's birthday though?"

Daggerclaw smiled lightly, "I look forward to it. Has she given any indication as to what gifts would be appropriate?"

Harry shrugged, "Not that I know of. I'm cooking a birthday dinner for her and her friends are going to take her out to the pitch to keep her occupied until it's ready." He rose from his seat, made his goodbyes and left.

* * *

**Third Floor Corridor Landing, same time as Daggerclaw and Harry were talking**

Hermione peered through the doorway and listened for any more sounds coming from the door at the end of the hallway on the left. She'd swear that she could hear something really large shuffling around behind it. She shrugged a shoulder and turned her head to look down the right side; it appeared to lead off to a balcony of sorts. She was hesitating on whether or not to go investigate when she heard the sounds of an inquisitive meowing coming from below her.

"Oh! Hello, kitty. Are you lost?" she bent down and reached her hand out to let the cat sniff her fingers then proceeded to stroke the cat's fur, "Awww, you're a sweet kitty aren't you?" The cat meowed again, seemingly like it was agreeing with her assessment.

Hermione sank down to sit on the floor, the cat climbing into her lap and sniffing at her face. Hermione's nose crinkled up at the tickling the cat's whiskers were doing. The cat headbutted her chin and meowed again, this time glancing in the direction of the doorway.

"Oh, I wasn't planning on going in. I was just curious as to what's down the right hand side," Hermione felt a bit strange explaining herself to a cat of all creatures, "The left hand side is clearly guarded by something big that growls and I don't want anything to do with something that growls like that. The other side though looks to head towards a balcony overlooking something expansive." She started scratching the cat under its chin lightly, eliciting loud purring from the feline.

"Hey, now! What are you doing to my cat?" Argus Filch came storming up the stairs.

"This sweet kitty is yours? You're so lucky."

That brought up Argus short; most of the students hated him and his cat and they knew it. This child on the other hand, didn't seem fazed one little bit. His face creased when he saw how much love his cat was getting at the fingers of the girl's ministrations.

"She likes you. It's rare to find anyone in this castle who likes Mrs. Norris. There are some who'd like nothing better than to boot her into the lake."

Hermione's eyes flashed dangerously, "How dare they! This sweet, fluffy kitty is just trying to keep the kittens safe, isn't that right?" The aforementioned Mrs. Norris flattened her ears in disgust and loudly meowed in agreement that _finally_ someone got it!

Argus gestured to the doorway, "You weren't thinking of going in there were you? It's right dangerous to be poking around that corridor."

"The left side, yes but I was kind of curious as to what was down the other way."

Argus shrugged as he leant his ever-present mop against the wall, "Just a bunch of disused rooms. I think there might be an old ballroom in there. It hasn't been used since the headmaster was deputy."

Hermione's ears perked up at the mention of the ballroom, "Really? Can we go take a look? I'd bet that our dance instructor would love to have an actual ballroom. He's been heard lamenting that the classroom he's in really isn't cond…con… what's the word…."

"Conducive?"

"Yes! That! Conducive to properly teaching dance."

Argus thought about it while scratching his chin, "I guess we could as long as you don't stray from my side." He turned and led her into the corridor.

* * *

**The Abandoned Hallway**

The look of awed surprise crept over Hermione's face as she took in the decrepit grandeur of the view in front of her. Twin staircases led down to an expansive ballroom floor complete with dusty and cobwebbed laden chandeliers, mirrored walls and tarnished ornately decorated murals.

"This…is so beautiful," she whispered as if afraid she might disturb the haunting silence, "It's also sad. Why would the headmaster seal this off?"

Argus took in the scene with a more weathered eye, "I dunno, miss. It does seem a shame; I've known this was here but never really took the time to stop and really look. Come on, let's go further." He led her carefully down the stairs and together they poked their heads into the various rooms that branched off from the main. What they discovered made Hermione squeal with excitement.

"There's an indoor swimming pool! And an exercise room and a…" she kept babbling about the various rooms.

"All I see is more work for me to try to accomplish, as if I'm not already swamped with things to do," Argus growled unhappily.

Hermione was bewildered by that, "Can't you use magic to clean up?" Argus got this look on his face.

"I can't do magic," he growled lowly, "I'm a squib."

Hermione paused as she thought about it, "What about the elves? I've seen them clean."

"Aye, they do but if they're doing the cleaning, what good am I?"

Hermione gestured with her hands, "What about a supervisor role? You make your rounds, pointing out what needs to be done and let the workers deal with the actual cleaning?"

Argus shook his head, "Nah, they already have a system in place."

"Well…ooh! Who is it that maintains the portraits and all the other artwork?" Argus pointed at himself, "Well, there you go. You will always be needed here to do the restoration. Did you have to go to school to learn how to do that?"

"Aye, took several years in a muggle school to learn art history, painting, sculpting and whatnot before getting to the restoration stuff."

"Wow, I bet you could teach art too." Argus shrugged a shoulder.

"Probably could but there's never been much of an interest in art these days."

With that, he led her out and back to the Grand Staircase. Hermione watched him shuffle off and made it her mission to speak with her Head of House and tell her about what they'd discovered.

* * *

_**Professor Sprout's Office…** _

"…and so that's what we found. If you want, I could show you too? I definitely think that we should include Mr. Thomlinson so he can see that the school has an actual ballroom for him to work with." Hermione finished her presentation with a puff of excited breath. Pomona smiled at her charge's enthusiastic retelling of her discovery.

"I think that would be a wonderful idea. Allow me to make a few calls and we'll go as a group." She got up and floo called several teachers, instructing them to meet on the third floor corridor landing. She then gestured for Hermione to lead the way.

* * *

_**Later in the teacher's staff room…** _

An impromptu meeting was held to discuss the discovery of rooms and possibilities of what Hermione Granger had shared with them. The dance instructor's eyes were dancing with delight as he waxed philosophical on the amount of proper dances that could be held there; he was already planning future events and writing down the things he'd need to bring the ballroom back into operation. Filius was enthusiastic about discovering that Hogwarts had a proper dueling room instead of that abandoned classroom he currently used.

Minerva knocked on the table to get everyone's attention, "You've all seen what is there on offer after that revelation. Two things need to happen if we are to bring it back; one is funding. Do we have the money to refurbish what is missing or broken? Second, is there an interest beyond ourselves? There must've been a reason why the rooms were closed off in the first place."

The door opened then and Daggerclaw entered, followed closely by Albus who wore his now familiar scowl at being upstaged.

"I'm sorry we're late," he glanced off at Albus with a bit of a sneer, " _Someone_ misplaced his glasses and couldn't take the time to just summon them like a normal person." (Never mind the fact that it was he who cast the enchantment to keep said glasses from being summoned.)

"It's no matter, we've only just begun. We were discussing the discovery of several rooms found along the right hand side of the third floor corridor. It seems that there's a full ballroom available along with other rooms geared towards exercise and fitness including an indoor pool and running track. The two questions that need to be asked are, do we have enough funding to cover the costs of repair and refurbishment and second, why they were taken out of service in the first place?"

All eyes swung towards the headmaster who shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Well, Albus?" Daggerclaw inquired, "The staff and I would like an answer to this. You are the only one here who would've known about these rooms and certainly the one in charge of whether or not they'd be closed off."

"Well…um, ahem… that is to say… It wasn't very popular during the Grindlewald War and frankly, it cost too much to keep it open for just a handful of students and it wasn't for the Greater Good to…well…"

Most everyone in the room sighed in frustration when they heard him trot out the tired phrase of the Greater Good.

"Albus, if I didn't know any better; I'd swear that you did your absolute best to further the hostilities between the muggleborn and the conservatives just to perpetuate your amorphous ideas of this Greater Good nonsense," Minerva growled, "Dances and social interaction would've a perfect way to introduce the incoming muggleborns on how to interact with the older families and probably would have led to a lessening of problems that cropped up. I would wager that if these rooms and programs were in place then, we wouldn't have had the problem of You-Know-Who rising up to sow destruction upon our world."

A slight blush appeared on Albus' face momentarily. Those not facing him didn't notice but Daggerclaw, Filius and Minerva did. Their eyes narrowed and the look on their faces promised that they'd be returning to this conversation really soon.

* * *

**Thursday 19 September 1991 Hufflepuff First Year Dorms, Girls Side**

Hermione's eyes popped open early in the morning and for a moment, she wondered what was wrong. She sat up and glanced around her bed, the curtains partly open to allow in fresh air. Her roommates, Susan and Hannah were still soundly sleeping; Hannah making little indecipherable noises in response to her dreams. Hermione slid out of her bed and peered out the window but not noticing anything that would've disturbed her own dreams. As she passed by a calendar hanging on a wall; she paused, walked backwards a few steps and examined it closer before letting out a small gasp!

"It's my birthday today!" She loudly whispered which caused Susan to grunt in her sleep and roll over. Hermione ran back to her bed and pulled the curtains closed and tapped the knot on one of the posts that would silence the area around her. She then let out a whoop of joy, she was twelve today!

She met Harry like they normally did every morning since coming to the school. He was sitting on the couch barely awake as she bounced into the room. She gave him a hard hug and giggled at his now usual half-hearted groans of her being too cheerful this early in the morning.

"But Harry! Today is different! Today is my birthday, I'm twelve years old today!" she bubbled happily.

Harry turned a bleary eye towards his bushy-haired friend, "So? It's still too early to be this happy." He softened his words with a wink. She just lightly slapped him on the arm and tugged him out towards the Great Hall for breakfast.

* * *

**The Great Hall**

Hermione found that her day was just going to be utterly memorable. The moment she walked into the Great Hall, she spotted two people that made her scream in surprise and joy. Dan and Emma Granger were sitting there at the Hufflepuff table with big smiles on their faces and backed with a couple of wrapped gifts.

"Happy birthday, Hermione!" They both sang out. Hermione let go of Harry and dashed over to greet her parents; her myriad of questions rapidly fired off before anyone could get a word in edgewise. Dan finally covered her mouth and with dancing eyes, laughed and told her to breathe before asking any more questions.

"As to how we're here, it's Daggerclaw's gift to you. He was the one who overrode the enchantments keeping us non-magical people from seeing the castle. Your Professor Sprout also gave her permission to excuse you from classes today so we have plenty of time to talk, honey."

Hermione practically swooned as she was guided onto the bench.

* * *

Breakfast was served and already Harry's influence (and cookbooks) were being felt in what was on offer. There was the usual arrangement of eggs (scrambled, overeasy, sunny-side up, etc.), hash-browned potatoes, porridge and the like on the table but now it included some lighter fare as well. There were bowls of salsa of varying types, trays of fixings for bruschetta, eggs Florentine, bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon lox, breakfast burritos, grilled vegetable and cheese omelettes and fondue pots with cubed cheese.

"Harry?" Emma inquired as she pointed to what appeared to be a serving bowl of corn, garbanzo beans and diced cucumbers. Harry laughed and shook his head.

"I think the elves got confused as to what constitutes a lighter breakfast assortment. They're used to the recipes handed down since Helga Hufflepuff and the other Founders. The concept of healthier food options never crossed their minds until I showed up with my cookbooks." He reached for the bowl and scooped some out onto his plate and began eating.

* * *

After breakfast, Hermione led her parents all over the school showing them all of her favorite places and sights to see. Both parents were amazed by the sheer size of the library, Hermione demonstrated some of the spells and magic that she'd learned in the nineteen days she'd been in school to the amazement of her parents, the adult Grangers were impressed by the Quidditch pitch and terrified by her skill on a broom. She offered to take them both up but her mother declined so she just took her father up after promising not to pull any of those crazy stunts.

The three Grangers wandered around the school grounds, including the greenhouses and the castle. Hermione saw Harry a couple more times, usually carrying something that looked like it had been freshly harvested from the greenhouses. She also noticed a smirk ghosting around the boy's face as he disappeared down a hallway but shrugged it off.

"I'd love to show you the newly re-discovered ballroom and exercise rooms but they're cordoned off because the teachers are still evaluating things. Something about inspecting the place to make sure nothing will hurt the students and staff."

Emma smiled warmly as she patted her daughter's hair, "That's alright, honey. We're amazed by the rest of the school," She paused as she spotted a portrait making faces at her, "It's been an interesting experience."

Hermione saw what her mother spotted and rolled her eyes, "Peeves! Now is not the time. These are my parents, not new teachers for you to hassle."

Peeves the resident poltergeist morphed out of the painting he was obstructing and cackled, "Ickle parents!" He pulled up close to Dan's face and hesitated uncharacteristically, "Have you been here before? Peeves swears he's seen someone that looks like you."

Dan backed up a bit to recover his personal space, "No, I don't believe I have. Daniel Granger, father to Hermione Granger here." He held out his hand to Peeves who looked surprised and slowly reached out to shake Dan's hand.

Peeves straightened up and 'stood' tall; his usual manner and attitude vanishing, "The pleasure is mine, sir. My apologies if I've offended you or your lady; please enjoy your visit to the castle today. If you'll excuse me?" Dan nodded once and Peeves flew away.

"That has to be the most civil reaction I've ever seen of that blasted poltergeist," a gravelly voice that could only belong to one person said, startling the Grangers. They turned and saw Argus standing there with a surprised look on his face and Mrs. Norris curling around his ankles.

* * *

_**That evening at dinner…** _

Albus Dumbledore stood and addressed the school prior to the start of the evening meal, "Welcome all to a very special night. I have been informed that Miss Hermione Granger of Hufflepuff House is celebrating her twelfth birthday today," a round of applause was given by the assembled students and staff, "I have also been informed that Mr. Harry Potter has been working in conjunction with our kitchen staff in providing a special dinner menu in honor of Miss Granger's birthday. So without further ado…" He clapped his hands and called for the food to be served.

The tables groaned with the sudden weight as the sights and smells emanating from the dishes bombarded everyone gathered around.

"Mr. Potter, if you'd be so kind as to inform us of what is being served?" Albus finished as Harry rose to his feet.

"Ahem, for the starters you have the option of a Tomato and Pesto Tart or a small garden salad with an Asian-inspired vinaigrette dressing. Next, the main course is a Standing Rib Roast with a side of either dry-roasted potatoes or lightly grilled spicy carrots. Dessert will be individual sized Royal Copenhagen birthday cakes."

As everyone dug into their meal after singing the birthday song to Hermione, there was one person who wasn't feeling the shared joy of tasting and appreciating Harry's efforts and talents in the kitchen.

' _It wasn't supposed to be like this! Parents, especially muggle parents here in the castle should've never been allowed! If it weren't for that blasted Goblin destroying everything I've worked so hard for, none of this would've happened. On top of this, I now have the staff questioning me as to why I declared the third floor ballroom off-limits. Can't they understand that it's for the Greater Good? If the muggleborns learn to assimilate into our culture, there wouldn't be the impetus I needed to draft those bills to further subjugate them or for the purebloods to feel further animosity towards their vaunted 'traditions' being trampled on. I need the conflict so I can guide these sheeple towards my vision of a pure society!'_

* * *

**The morning of Halloween 31 October 1991**

A little over a full month had passed and Harry's 'cooking show' popularity had grown beyond his wildest imagination. The elves had to build more bleachers to hold all the students and staff who were interested in watching and learning how to cook various dishes and cuisines. _'It's a good thing that I never took up a sport like Quidditch or some other sort of cliché activity.'_ He mused as he prepared for his Halloween special of 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks.' Today's featured recipe was how to make an Argentinean dish that was perfect for the season, 'Beef Stew in a pumpkin shell.'

"Greetings, Hogwarts! Today is a special recipe in light of the Halloween feast! Today we'll be learning how to make 'Beef Stew in a pumpkin shell.'" A susurration was heard among the bleachers, "Now, I'm sure you're all questioning, "Harry, why serve the beef stew in a pumpkin shell? What's the point of the pumpkin?" Well to answer that, you would scoop out the flesh of the pumpkin as you eat the stew thereby adding loads of vitamins into your diet. Pumpkin juice is regularly served here but the juice doesn't contain the fiber necessary for a healthy digestive tract. So let's begin shall we?"

"So to begin, let me show you what the ingredients here are. First we have roughly 450 grams of beef; it can be either chuck or stew meat, cut into cubes. Next is one each of the following; red onion, small sweet potatoes, green bell pepper and tomato. There are also two carrots, peeled and cut into bite sized pieces." He finished off with identifying the spices then moved onto actually making the recipe.

"Okay so, in a large enough pot, heat the oil and brown the meat. As the meat browns, add in the vegetables and stir everything together. Cook this for a couple of minutes before adding the tomato along with the beef broth and season with the salt and black pepper to taste. Cover the pot and cook on low flame for about one and a half hours, stirring occasionally."

The smell of the meat and vegetables was slowly wending its way through the crowds causing all to inhale loudly and some of the kids to giggle at the sight of some of their friends overdoing it and nearly passing out.

"While the stew is cooking, the next step is to prepare the pumpkin shell. Realistically, this is the most time consuming if you have to prepare it in a non-magical home. Seeing as how we are _not_ in a magical home, we get to speed things up a bit. With the help of Professor Flitwick, he's shared with me a couple of culinary charms to improve your own talents in the kitchen. To remove the seeds and 'guts' of the pumpkins, the wand movement is a simple swirl like you'd do to stir your morning drink with a spoon and the incantation is _'aufero semina.'_ He demonstrated by cutting the top off of the medium pumpkin with a cast of the cutting charm _'diffindo'_ and cast the charm to remove the seeds. The seeds and goop ripped itself out and landed in a bowl he'd placed on the counter for them.

"Fun fact for the seeds; once they're cleaned up of the goop, they can either be stored to be grown again come next growing season or lightly seasoned and roasted to be eaten as a snack. Okay, so the next step for the pumpkins is to score the inside flesh with a knife in a grid pattern. This makes it easier to scoop out when serving the stew. Brush the inside with oil or melted butter and sprinkle in some salt and pepper to taste. Turn off the stove and ladle the stew into the shells; replace the cutoff top portion and bake in the oven at 162 degrees Celsius for an additional one and a half hours. Keep an eye on it and add additional baking time until it is cooked through but not overcooked."

"A chef's note here: If you find the pumpkin shell starting to sag from the heat and the weight of the stew, cast a stabilization charm. The charm motion is a jabbing action and the incantation is _'dicent stabilendum.'_ It won't harden anything but merely magically support the structure. I'm told that when cast; it acts like a ring around the area you've pointed your wand at so if necessary, cast it multiple times."

* * *

While the stew was cooking, Harry cleaned up his workstation and utensils then fielded questions from the audience about some of his other cooking exploits and what his home life living in a non-magical home was like.

"To be honest, growing up with my non-magical aunt and uncle was as normal as living with parents could be, so I'm told. They both loved me and raised me to be an honest, hard-working and fair minded person. I wasn't the only one in my family that knew how to cook so please don't think that they forced me to slave away in the kitchen. My aunt would also pitch in as needed but as time went on and they realized that my talents far outstripped their own, she would just let me explore the world of cooking as long as the ingredients or supplies weren't too expensive. When we took a trip to coast in Cornwall, I discovered that seafood could be harvested with minimal effort…well, 'minimal effort' if you didn't mind getting wet, bruised or cut on sharp rocks and sticking your hands into freezing cold water in between gaps and caves of rocks while trying to land the various crustaceans or fish." That got some laughter from the crowd.

Finally the stew was ready to be transferred into the pumpkin shells then it was into the oven. Before they broke up, the audience learned that tonight's demonstration would be the featured dish at the Feast so they'd all get to taste what the pumpkin stew was like. Filius hung around and congratulated Harry on another wonderful show.

"Thank you for another wonderful demonstration, Mr. Potter. You've inspired me to teach my students some household charms in the coming months. I'm surprised and saddened that I've never realized that I should've been doing this from the get-go." He patted Harry on the back and trotted off.

* * *

_**At the feast…** _

Once more, Albus stood to address the school's population, "Welcome to another fun-filled feast in honor of Halloween. I've been told that Mr. Harry Potter has demonstrated to everyone, a new dish for the holiday and will be the centerpiece of tonight's celebrations. So without further ado…"

His speech was cut off as Professor Quirrell came running into the room yelling his head off, "TROLL! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON! Thought… you ought to know…" he then slumped to the ground unconscious.

The Great Hall was silent for all of about two seconds before the screaming started. It took the blasting sound of a cannon to still everyone to silence. In as much of authoritative voice as he could muster, Albus instructed the prefects to guide their charges back to their dormitories.

"Hogwarts! Seal the doors!" came the return bellow from Daggerclaw as the massive doors slammed shut, "No one is to attempt to leave the Great Hall. Now sit down and remain quiet."

Albus whirled on him angrily, "I am the headmaster and what I say goes! How dare you try to usurp my authority. This is treason!"

Daggerclaw was glaring back at the old man, "What seems to have slipped your mind is that the Troll was reported to be in the dungeons where both Hufflepuff and Slytherin reside. I wouldn't trust the Troll to remain where it was last seen so that makes it imperative for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw to remain as well."

"They would be fine as long as they listen to my instructions!"

"Then you should be leading them yourself and not relying on other children to do your work for you! They stay! In the meantime, I am instructing the school to contact the Ministry to send a team here to recover and remove the Troll," Daggerclaw then purposely turned his back on Albus and strode over to where Quirrell lay on the floor while being attended to by the school nurse, Poppy Pomfrey.

Albus' hand strayed dangerously close to where his wand was holstered only for another wand to be leveled at his busted nose. Filius Flitwick was glaring at his boss with such a steely demeanor that it made Albus pause.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Albus. Goblin or not, staff or not; pulling your wand with the intention for doing harm is a sign of going Dark and you wouldn't want to have everyone here telling their parents, friends or the newspapers that Albus Dumbledore shot someone in the back because he was feeling slighted now do you?"

Albus' exposed face paled at the thought of his public image taking a further (and final) beating and lowered his hand before sinking into his chair.

* * *

**Recipes:**

Herby Yorkshire pudding with béchamel and prosciutto filling (Pinterest)

Tomato and Pesto Tarts (Pinterest)

Standing Rib Roast (suggested by Rhys Thornbery, Found on Yummly)

Dry roasted potatoes and lightly grilled spicy carrots (personal)

Royal Copenhagen cakes (Taste Life – Facebook)

Pumpkin Shell Beef Stew (Yummly)

**Spells/Charms:**

Aufero semina = Latin, remove seeds

dicent stabilendum = Latin, stabilize sag

diffindo = Latin, to sever


	11. Armed with a cup of hot soup...

**Chapter 11: Armed with a Cup of Hot Soup…**

**I** **mmediately after the Troll Incursion, Great Hall**

It took a bit of effort and call outs for reassurance from friends, older brothers and sisters but the children of Hogwarts managed to resume their seats and for the most part continue eating. For some, like Ron Weasley, he never _stopped_ eating once he started. He was still clutching onto a half-eaten chicken leg when Dumbledore tried to get them to clear out and when told to just go back and sit; repositioned himself better to get at the steak and kidney pie and about a half dozen other platters that were left sitting unattended. Those around him stared with visible disgust at the boy's utter lack of public or self-decency as the red-haired stomach piled his plate as tall as it would go and begin scarfing it down with barely a breath in between bites.

Vincent Crabbe glanced over at his best friend, Gregory Goyle and shook his head, "And people think _we're_ the dumb brutes. Compared to him, that Troll has better manners." Greg silently nodded and covered his mouth, trying not to puke at the display before him.

"Couldn't someone speak with our Head of House about this?" Greg implored pleadingly with the older Slytherins.

Their 5th year prefect sighed and rose to his feet and headed up to the High Table to where Professor Snape was sitting.

"Professor? A few of us were wondering and hoping there was _something_ that could be done regarding Weasley's utter lack of table manners and general decency when around food? It's putting people off their appetites."

Severus sneered over at the spot where the red-haired twit was now attempting to shove an entire slice of pie into his mouth and get the others nearby to cheer him on. He sighed loudly, "I'll deal with this. With any luck, he'll choke to death if I startle him."

Severus swiftly rose to his feet and silently moved up behind Ron, "Weasley!" he barked, causing the boy in question to let out a muffled yelp and whirl around. A disgusting explosion of partially masticated bits of food tumbled down his robes, "P'feth'er?"

"You're done eating. Get up and follow me," Severus replied coldly before turning and starting to walk away. Ron scrambled to his feet and hurried after his Head of House but not before cramming a handful of candied nuts into his mouth.

* * *

Severus slammed open the door to a chamber just off from the main Hall and pointed inside imperiously with his finger. Ron scurried in and stared bewildered at the various displays of trophies and a cold fireplace. Severus strode over the fireplace and cast an _incendio_ charm at the wood stacked within then took a pinch of floo powder and cast it into the flames.

" _The Burrow!"_ he yelled then stuck his head into the green flames. There was a moment of disorientation as his head was flung through 'otherspace' until appearing in the living room hearth of the Weasley home. Arthur was just looking up from his newspaper to see who was calling.

"Oh! Hello. Professor Snape, is it? How might I help you?"

"Your son Ronald has gotten himself into trouble and I request that you come through."

Arthur jumped up and hurried over to the fireplace, "It's nothing dire is it? We didn't get any warning."

Severus made a face, "Ah, yes. That clock of yours… Well, the matter is more of an issue of him disgracing himself in public. Come through…please."

Arthur stepped out the fireplace into the antechamber where he found Ron sitting on a stool with a scowl on his face and his robes covered in food detritus. Severus was standing next to the fireplace with his arms crossed in front of him and he too was scowling in displeasure.

"Professor?"

"Your son… has decided that eating a meal like a normal civilized human is too much to consider. This evening there was an incursion with a Troll and the headmaster incorrectly decided to send the students back to their dormitories. When the countermanding order was given and the students were required to remain where they were; your son here decided to horde all food within arms' reach and began eating it with an abandon that not even pigs could attain."

Arthur was horrified at Ronald's behavior, "Is this true?"

Ron sat there hunched up with his arms crossed as well and petulantly whined, "I was hungry!"

Arthur sighed, took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Ronald, there has never been a time when Hogwarts has ever run out of food. You were raised better than this! What was going through your mind?!" His face was getting redder while his voice rose, "It's bad enough that I need to keep your mother on a short leash but now I have to deal with you about this?" He growled in frustration and turned to face the dour professor, "Professor Snape, you have my permission as Head of House Weasley to assign Ronald whatever punishment within reason you think he needs to cure him of his ill-mannered behavior. If he has to take his meals with the school's pigs, so be it." With one last glare at his idiotic son, he turned and flashed away through the floo.

* * *

_**At the Hufflepuff Table…** _

Harry watched Ron get led away from the Great Hall by an irate Severus Snape and wondered what that was all about but shrugged it off. _'Not my circus, not my monkeys,_ 'he mused before turning his attention to where Neville was trying to balance a cherry tomato on the tips of three asparagus spears. He looked on bemusedly and glanced over to where Hermione was chatting with some of the other girls.

"Aren't we a barrel of laughs? We got Neville here literally playing with his food and Weasley the Youngest getting in trouble for eating food." Neville snorted yet still looked determined to get the tomato to stay put.

Harry slid down to where Hermione was deep in conversation with the other girls, "…I heard that she was caught trying to steal something valuable from the school."

"Whatcha talking about?" Hermione jumped in surprise.

"Harry! Don't sneak up on me like that!" she pouted.

Harry held up his hands in surrender, "Sorry. So whatcha talking about?"

Susan leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "You remember Sally-Anne Perks? From Gryffindor? She was expelled from the school today."

Harry's eyes widened; for someone to get expelled, it must've been a big deal! "Any idea what it was that she was trying to steal?"

Susan shrugged a shoulder and took a bite of her mince pie, "No one knows and those who do, aren't talking. I tried to ask Professor Sprout but she just gets this weird look on her face and tries to change the subject.

"Wow, are you sure that it was theft that was the cause of the expulsion?"

"Well, that's my theory. I just don't know."

Harry sat there with the same look he had whenever he was planning a new menu, "What about talking to the elves? They know everything about what goes on around here and aren't shy about telling you; unless they're ordered not to but even then, they'll tell you up front that they can't."

All the girls stared back at him with varying degrees of shock. Hermione face-palmed her hand and groaned, "Why didn't we think of that? Gah… Thanks, Harry."

He just grinned and got up to head over to where the Weasley Twins were sitting.

* * *

_**At the Gryffindor Table…** _

Harry approached the Twins and tapped the closer one of the two on the shoulder. The twin in question, George, turned around, "Yes, O Great Heir of our heroes?"

Harry responded with a raspberry, "Phbbt! O Great Heir… Listen, I was wondering if the two of you would like to _meet_ your heroes, or at least the two that remain?" George's mouth dropped open and he squeaked while Fred was wheezing after nearly choking on his pumpkin juice.

"You, you can do…you would do that for us? That would be seriously _unfunny_ if you were just playing around."

Harry shrugged and replied that all it would take is for him to write a letter to his uncle and godfather. Both twins pushed those next to them aside to give Harry room to sit before producing a sheet of paper and quill from somewhere and urging him to write to the remaining Marauders.

Harry examined the quill, "You two are still using quills?"

Fred made a noise, "Eh, old habits and all that." Harry just blinked and made a face before bending over the table to begin writing.

* * *

_Dear Padfoot and Moony,_

_Greetings from Hogwarts! It's Halloween this evening and it seems that our dear Headmaster arranged for a right scare by importing a Troll from who knows where to come and terrorize the student population! I've not seen the Troll but our defense professor came running into the Great Hall bellowing about there was a Troll in the dungeons…and then passed out. Moony, it's a shame that you have that campground of yours; we could use a decent defense teacher around here. Padfoot, If I thought you'd be able to handle teaching a bunch of kids on how to defend themselves, I'd suggest that you might consider the position but I heard from my aunt that you actually like working with Moony and running delivery to and from town (or is Moony just having you play fetch?) That reminds me, congratulations on passing your driving exam!_

_Things are going pretty well here. I'm in the top ten of my yearmates in the subjects of Herbology, Transfiguration and Potions. I need a bit more work in Charms to add that to the list. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I have the wand work down perfectly but for some reason, I just can't seem to pay attention during the written tests. I have a meeting with Professor Flitwick to discuss my options._

_Listen, I made a couple of friends here that I think the two of you should meet. They claim to be the Disciples of the Marauders and wanted me to tell you that they solemnly swear that they are up to no good. They've said that if you know what that means, they will pledge themselves to you for life._

_With much love,_

_Harry_

* * *

"Alright, you two; I promise to send this out tomorrow evening."

"Why not send it in the morning?" Fred asked as he carefully took another sip of his juice.

"Because owls are most active in the evening. It's not fair to make Hedwig work when she should be sleeping."

Now George was confused, "But Harry, that 's not how post owls work. There's some sort of magic involved that changes their sleep patterns so they can fly during the day."

Harry leveled a hard glare at the redhead, "My owl, my rules. I don't _have_ to send this letter." George put his hands up, "Sorry! No need to get huffy, I was just saying."

Just then there was a hooting screech from up above which caused everyone to look up. Hedwig appeared diving through the rafters and glided down to where Harry was sitting. She took a steep dive and flared out at the last moment to land precisely on his shoulder. The look on her face could only be described as 'proud.'

Harry chuckled, "You silly bird. Why are you here?" Hedwig just stuck her leg out. In a fit of pique, Harry kissed her foot which caused Hedwig to squawk in surprise and yank her foot away. "I thought that is what milady wanted. To pay homage to the most beautiful raptor that ever lived."

If Hedwig could speak she would have probably said something rude, so she just cuffed his head with her wing instead. The others at the table were busting a gut laughing at the antics.

"Ah, Hedwig milady, Her Royal Owlness, Devourer of Bacon, Alpha Owl of the Roost would you deign to take a letter from me to Moony and Padfoot?" Harry solemnly requested as he held out the letter. She gave him an imperious stare and held out her leg one more time. Harry quickly and deftly tied the letter to her leg and gave it another gentle kiss.

"Be safe my Queen. May the winds be calm on your nightly journey," Hedwig nuzzled his ear then took off.

* * *

_**Where Poppy was administering to an unconscious Quirrel…** _

"How is he?"

Poppy looked up at the sound of Daggerclaw's inquiry, "He'll be fine. He should be coming around soon." She dusted off her hands and began repacking her ever present healer's bag.

Daggerclaw examined Quirrell face for a moment before he noticed something just peeking out from underneath the edge of the turban. He carefully lifted the edge before dropping it quickly, letting out a stream of Goblin swear words. He grabbed Poppy by the arm and began dragging her away from the prone man.

"High Inquisitor, I must protest! What is the meaning of this?" she yelped in shock at being so roughly handled.

"Hogwarts! Emergency alert! Ward the area around Professor Quirnius Quirrell and allow no one to approach without my permission. Contact the Ministry Unspeakables, priority one! Keep him unconscious!" he bellowed and turned to the children still sitting nearby, "Everyone here; move to another table! Quickly now! Move!" They moved in a tsunami of limbs and bodies, each trying to get away from the yelling Goblin.

Albus and Minerva hurried over to try to find out what was causing this new commotion, "Daggerclaw! What is going on now?"

Pointing at the back of Quirrell's head, "There's a face underneath that turban!"

Albus gave him a disdainful look over the rim of his glasses, "I sincerely doubt that. It's probably just a shadow caused by the man's hair."

Daggerclaw glared at the headmaster, "I know what I saw Headmaster, when the Ministry gets here they can determine the next course of action. I've already had Hogwarts call for additional support from the Unspeakables."

Albus started to rave internally; the impending arrival of the Unspeakables was the _last_ thing he needed now. The Troll was a simple matter of greasing the pockets of whoever the Ministry sent to keep them quiet. The Unspeakables however, weren't impressed with attempts at bribery.

"This is _my_ school, you miserable Goblin! I won't have you usurping my authority anymore! _I_ am in charge and decide who to call!" Albus roared at a thoroughly unimpressed Daggerclaw, "I've had it up to here with you sticking your freakish nose in where it never belonged! I have half a mind to personally kick you in your money-grubbing arse off the grounds! You're a beast who should be groveling at the feet of proper wizards to serve them as we see fit. I'll see to it that you burn in Hell you dirty beast!" The noise in the hall dropped off rapidly as everyone witnessed the headmaster completely losing control.

* * *

There was an insistent knocking on the Hall doors a few moments later. Daggerclaw silently released the locks and admitted the Ministry Beast Control handlers as well as Director Amelia Bones and a handful of Aurors, the Unspeakables entered last.

"Dumbledore? What is going on here?" She called out to a clearly still raging headmaster.

Albus visibly reigned himself in, "Just a minor incident with a Troll. It's being handled, Amelia. There was no need to travel all the way here."

Amelia narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, "Uh-huh." Clearly not believing Albus, she turned to Daggerclaw, "High Inquisitor?" Albus nearly flared up again at the abrupt dismissal.

Daggerclaw calmly replied, "As the headmaster said, there was an incident where a Troll was reported to have been wandering around the dungeons. On top of that, I called for the Unspeakables to deal with what is hidden under Professor Quirrell's turban." Beast Control immediately set off for the dungeons while the Unspeakable stepped up to where the turbaned man lay.

"There seems to be a ward around the man?"

Daggerclaw had Hogwarts remove the ward. The lead Unspeakable cast a stunner just in case and bent down to examine Quirrell closer. They raised the edge of the turban and peered in before standing again and casting something that caused Quirrell to be encased in amber-like substance. "We shall take him with us for further study." They levitated the encapsulated professor out of the hall.

Casting a silencing charm around the adults, Amelia asked Daggerclaw what he saw under the turban.

"It looked like a face of a demon coming out of the back of the professor's head. I'm no expert but the face resembled Voldemort," Daggerclaw calmly reported.

* * *

After canceling the silencing charm and turning back to the incandescent headmaster, Amelia gestured between the two with a finger, "What's going on between you two?"

Albus drew himself up straight, "I demand that you remove this _creature_ from my sight and dump it back in that hole it calls a home. I am retaking control of this school as its one and _only_ leader."

Amelia stared uncomprehendingly at Albus, shook her head once to clear it and glanced at Minerva who stood there with her mouth opening staring at her boss like she'd never seen someone like him before. The rest of the school was nearly the same way.

"Uh-huh… High Inquisitor? Your thoughts?"

Daggerclaw let a slow predatory grin full of teeth slide over his face, "If Albus wishes to hold this conversation here amongst the students that's fine by me but you don't have to take my word for some of the other things he's said over the past couple of months." He pulled a crystalline cube out of his pocket and tapped one face of it. A spectral image of Albus sitting at his desk appeared, hovering just above the cube like a pensieve memory. Albus' face went deathly white and he started babbling.

"No, no, no, no! You can't share what I said in the privacy of my own office!"

"Fine then, how about when you were muttering to yourself in public while wandering the hallways during one of your usual excursions?" He tapped the face again and the image changed to him walking down a hallway.

Something in Albus snapped and he screamed in rage as he flung himself at the offending Goblin who deftly sidestepped the old man to let him fall heavily onto the floor.

" _Stupify!"_ Albus fell into an unconscious heap on the floor. Minerva's hand was shaking and her face was purpling with white-hot anger at her former mentor for what he was attempting to do.

"Chrath thu seann ghobhar geal! A 'toirt ionnsaigh air cuideigin air beulaibh na cloinne! Bah fios agam gur e trioblaid a bh 'annad! Bha fios agam gu robh thu dulich nuair a dh 'fheuch thu ri cuir às dhomh nuair a dh innis mi dhut nach gabhadh earbsa a chur ann an Quirrel!" She screamed as she built up to a full Scottish rage. (1)

Filius appeared and slowly and carefully reached out and removed her wand from her hand, "It's okay now, Min. He's not going to hurt anyone ever again." He glanced worriedly over at Poppy and cocked his head at his shaking colleague. Poppy quickly handed over a vial of Calming Draught. "Drink this, Min then go with Poppy, okay?" he said reassuringly. Minerva blankly drank down the draught and let out a shuddering cry of anguish before letting her friend guide her out of the Great Hall. There were tears in the eyes of many of the students and staff, including even the Grey-leaning Slytherins.

Amelia turned to her Aurors who were silently watching the events unfolding, "Take him back to the DMLE and put him in one of the isolation cells. Make sure no one speaks to him or knows he's even there." The Senior Auror nodded and directed the others to cuff Albus' wrists and ankles then levitate him out of the Hall.

* * *

Once Minerva had been escorted from the Hall, Daggerclaw led Amelia to the same chamber Severus used to deal with Ron Weasley. Turning to face the Goblin, Amelia demanded some answers.

"Just what is going on around here?! You've got the headmaster losing the plot, Trolls wandering the hallways, something that requires the Unspeakables? What was on that cube that had Albus go crazy?"

Daggerclaw chuckled as he pulled out the cube once more and activated it. It cycled through a series of still images, "This is a cube we use at Gringott's to display our vacation or family photos similar to those book albums you humans favor. There was never anything on here that had his mutterings, plotting or plans. That's safely stored away in my office."

Amelia's eyes widened in surprise and she let out a bark of laughter, "So Albus merely assumed and let his anger get away from him! Ingenious. Whew… How bad was it? His mutterings, plots and plans as you put it?"

Daggerclaw actually shuddered, "Bad. He seems to fully believe in this noxious concept of the Greater Good and is determined to go to any lengths to achieve it regardless of who he hurts. Most of it was directed at young Harry Potter. Some of the recordings I have would be enough to have him tossed through the Veil of Death. It's not up to me but if it were, I would put him on a closed trial behind locked doors, fill him up with Veritaserum until it leaks out his ears then drop kick his wrinkled butt through the Veil. He's too dangerous to lock up in Azkaban."

Amelia sank into an empty chair, covered her eyes and groaned loudly, "Just what I didn't need." She stayed like that for a moment before slapping the armrests and sitting up, "Okay, for the time being, I'm using my authority to install you as temporary headmaster until either Minerva is calm again and can take over or someone else is hired to do the job."

"That won't make the Board of Directors happy; having a Goblin in charge as Headmaster."

Amelia waved that away, "I'll remind them it's just temporary and realistically there's not much difference between what you've been doing and what you will be doing." She got to her feet and said that she was going to visit with her niece before taking her leave.

Daggerclaw bowed his head in acceptance of her decision.

* * *

**Hogwarts Infirmary**

"Min? How are you feeling?" Poppy asked her long time friend later in the evening. She sat down in a chair besides the bed and laid her hand gently on Minerva's.

"Hurt and betrayed. My heart feels like it's been ripped to shreds. How could he…how could he hire someone being possessed by You-Know-Who?" The brokenhearted witch wailed.

Poppy sighed, "I'd hate to play the Devil's Advocate here but it's possible that he didn't know when he hired the man."

Minerva shook her head, "I was there that day. He wasn't wearing the turban then. That didn't appear until after the reported news of the Gringott's break-in." Her eyes grew wide, "Sweet Merlin! I had that…that _thing_ visit me in my office! I've shared meals with it…excuse me!" She bolted out of bed and rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Poppy waited where she was until the door opened up again.

"Feel better?" Minerva just grunted in reply.

"A little. I can't believe that I attacked him in front of everyone in the Great Hall. I can't believe _Albus_ attacked anyone in the Great Hall." She moaned once more as she returned to her bed, "What do the students think of me?"

"I think they'd see an adult standing up for them and defending them against a deranged man," a voice rumbled by the doors. Both women turned to see Amelia standing there, hands on her hips and surveying the room. "Minerva McGonagall, you are to be commended for your actions if not your words in light of the attempted attack by Albus Dumbledore on the High Inquisitor." Her features softened, "Relax Minerva, no one thinks badly of you."

"So what happened after we left?"

Amelia informed them both about the conversation she'd had with Daggerclaw and the photo cube as well as some of the mutterings and insanity Albus discussed with himself when he thought he was alone. She finished by telling them about Daggerclaw's new temporary position as headmaster if or when Minerva was on her feet again to take over as Deputy.

"In the meantime, get some rest. The school needs you to be strong, Minerva."

* * *

**Next Saturday, Quidditch Pitch Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw**

"And that's another ten points to Ravenclaw!" The game announcer, Lee Jordan yelled into the microphone as the Puffs regrouped to take the charge, "The score is now 40 – 10, Ravenclaw!"

Hermione watched in fascination as the players zipped and swerved through the air at breakneck speeds; the Chaser line passed a red ball between them, trying to confuse the opposite side as to their intentions. The bat-wielding Beaters knocked flying iron balls at the Chaser line in hopes of breaking up their formation and to knock the red ball, the Quaffle, into the hands of their own teammates. She glanced up to where two players, the Seekers, hovered; seemingly out of play but still scanning the skies and field around them looking for a tiny gold, incredibly fast ball known as the Golden Snitch.

"Exciting, isn't it?!" Susan yelled into her ear over the roaring noise of the crowd. Hermione waggled her hand in indifference.

"It's alright. I'm just waiting…" What she was waiting for made itself known when both Seekers made their high-speed mad dash for the ground. She watched closely and spotted them both trying to grab the Snitch out of the air as it deftly maneuvered around them. At the last moment, both Seekers hauled back on their broom handles and prevented themselves from plowing into the ground. The Hufflepuff Seeker held up his hand victoriously, the Snitch clearly trying to escape. The crowd went wild at the sudden win.

* * *

_**After nearly everyone had left the pitch…** _

"So, Miss Granger? What did you think about your first Quidditch game? Think it's exciting enough to get you to try out?" The team captain inquired as he tugged his gloves off.

Hermione just stared blankly for a moment, lost in thought. She then shook herself out of it and shrugged, "It was alright. Rather lop-sided in how it's played."

"What do you mean?"

Gesturing back towards the pitch, "You have all the other players working their butts off to rack up points and it's a complete waste of effort when the Snitch is caught. Why is that tiny little ball worth a hundred and fifty points? Why does the game end when it's caught? Why not just play based on a timer and reduce the points spread to something a little more believable?" She grimaced, "I hope I'm not coming across as rude but the game of Quidditch just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm sorry but I don't think I could play such a confusing game." She patted the dejected captain on the arm and hurried back off to the castle.

* * *

_**The next day…** _

Harry was wandering along the grounds outside the castle near Hagrid's hut when he heard his name being called. He looked around and spotted Hagrid himself waving him over. Smiling, Harry made his way down a flight of stone steps.

"Hi, Hagrid, what's up?"

"Jus' wan'ed to know how yer doin' afta what happen'd in the Great Hall las' week? Albus, er…the 'eadmaster used ter be a great man. Don' know wha' got inter 'im." Hagrid rumbled.

Harry shrugged, "I'm doing fine. It really didn't affect me because I wasn't the target of the headmaster's rage yet I knew that if he'd actually grabbed Daggerclaw, the headmaster wouldn't be around to stand trial. Everyone should know that you don't mess around with a warrior society, even if they don't look like they're dressed like it anymore. So what's going on in your house? Why is the fire raging so much?" Hagrid spun around and quickly closed the door.

"Um, I'd ah… Ah'd appreciate it if'n you didn' tell anyone 'bout that," he lowered his voice and looked around shiftily, "Ah've gotten meself a dragon egg and Ah'm gonna try ter hatch it."

Harry just stared at the huge man and blinked, "A dragon egg… a real _dragon_ egg?"

Hagrid beamed at Harry, "Tha's right! I got them books outta the liberry which tell me what to 'pect. I reckon I got me hands on a Norwegian Ridgeback."

Harry just mutely shook his head, "Hagrid, you know that you live in a wooden house right? What if that thing breathes fire?"

Hagrid waved it away dismissively, "Ah've got plenty of time before that happens."

Harry nodded once then bid his giant friend goodbye then hightailed it towards the castle.

* * *

_**High Inquisitor's Office…** _

Harry urgently knocked on Daggerclaw's office door and rushed in when it unlocked itself, "Daggerclaw, the school has a dragon prob…lem… oh, hi Director Bones." He finished lamely.

Daggerclaw couldn't contain himself and chortled at Harry's embarrassment, "Please continue, Mr. Potter. What dragon and where is it and who is responsible?" He waved the boy to an empty chair.

Sighing uncomfortably, "I was just visiting Hagrid when I noticed…" he relayed the events that had just finished not twenty minutes ago. Amelia removed her monocle and rubbed the bridge of her nose and grumbled, "I ought to think about installing a field office here at the castle."

"That's actually not a bad idea, Amelia though I'd suggest putting it in Hogsmeade." Daggerclaw commented before turning back to Harry, "What do you suggest we do about it?"

"Get him some mental help? He lives in a _wooden_ house for Pete's sake! Find someone to properly teach him that raising a dragon that could breathe fire around kids is a bad idea?"

Both adults nodded understandingly, "Well, for starters I think that Hagrid needs to have a long conversation with you Daggerclaw to remind him about inappropriate and/or dangerous items being brought onto school grounds," Amelia commented drily, "Next, I think I need to speak with him to determine the extent of the illegal animal trade here in Hogsmeade."

"You're not going to arrest him, are you?" Harry asked worriedly.

Amelia patted him on the shoulder, "Probably not."

* * *

_**Outside Hagrid's home, an hour later…** _

Hagrid watched with sad eyes as the Ministry's dragon handler wrapped up the egg he'd won in a card game down at the Hog's Head pub and apparated away. His attention returned to where the Beast Control Department Head Robert Miller and Director Bones were discussing his own role in the acquisition.

"Robert, you know that Hagrid meant well and frankly, his contribution to protecting a species however misguided did get us an in with the local black market. It's my opinion that he ought to be commended not punished. Azkaban is too much for something like this." Hagrid paled at the mention of that demon-infested prison.

Robert scrubbed his face with his hand and growled lowly, "Fine, he can get a damned certificate for all the good it does but I am very much opposed to giving him access to the Preserve in the Hebrides."

"What about one of the other ones? Like Romania for example." Robert cocked his head in thought and slowly bobbled his head in reluctant agreement.

"That _could_ be acceptable… he'd be out of our jurisdiction and therefore any problems wouldn't land on my desk," He let out a loud sigh, "You contact them and if they agree then he can be sent there as soon as possible." They shook hands, Robert gave Hagrid a searching look and apparated out.

"Hagrid." He turned to look at Amelia, "I hope you know now that what you should've done was contact us immediately. That contact of yours was small fish in comparison to whomever it was that they were in contact with. This could've been a bigger problem if it wasn't caught sooner."

"Buh dragons are jus' misunderstood creatures," he rumbled.

"From your perspective and strength; try to picture how the world looks from our level." She could see his face pale and his hands start to tremble. "So here's what's going to happen. You will be awarded a certificate of achievement for assisting in the capture and safe return of an endangered dragon species as well you will be taking part in a working vacation at one of the dragon preserves overseas. How long that 'vacation' will last will be up to you and the preserve manager."

"Aye, ah un'erstan'."

Pulling out a charmed notepad and Dicta-Quill, Amelia got down to questioning him again for the record on how he managed getting the egg in the first place.

"I was playin' cards with this feller down at the Hog's Head. He kept buyin' me drinks and we got to talkin' abou' various critters ah'd come across b'fore. I tol' 'im that after Fluffy, a dragon would be no problem."

Amelia looked puzzled and made a notation on the recordings to ask later, "Go on."

"Well, ah'd not seen 'is face as 'e kept 'is hood up the whole time. 'e asked me questions on what ah knew 'bout raisin' them and such. Then he started with askin' about Fluffy. Ah told 'im that Fluffy was easy to deal wit'. Play 'im a bit of music and 'e goes straight ter sleep."

"Okay, now who or what is 'Fluffy?'" Hagrid just paled again.

"Um, ah shouldn' 'ave tol' you 'bout tha…"

* * *

**Hogwarts Kitchens**

Harry was busy rummaging through his cookbook collection trying to find something simple yet inspirational to make that wouldn't take all day. The weather was getting cooler and had the distinct feeling that snow was on its way and to him that meant warm, comforting food and a thick blanket to snuggle underneath with.

Tiny wandered over to see if he needed any help, "What is Little Sir planning?"

"Just trying to find something simple but warming."

"Hows about a hearty soup or stew?"

Harry paused and tilted his head in thought, "That has its possibilities… maybe a bread bowl in a mug filled with a meaty stew… hmmm." He grabbed the cookbook that held all of his cold-weather soups and stews and began thumbing through it.

As was becoming commonplace, Harry had an audience while he was cooking. It was an irregular mix of elves to students and staff who'd wandered in to see if they could cadge any sweets off the elves.

"So today is a bit different from the usual demonstrations. Simply put, this demonstration wasn't planned so I have no idea if it's even going to work so thank you to all of you who've just volunteered to be my test subjects." Giggles were heard from the crowd, "So everyone here knows the initial routine so I won't repeat that. First prepare your base ingredients, sauté the veggies. Heat a tablespoon of butter or olive oil in a large stockpot over medium-high heat. Add in the onion and sauté for five minutes until it is soft and translucent. Stir in the garlic and cook for an additional one to two minutes, stirring occasionally until fragrant."

The sharpish tang of onion and garlic permeated the air causing a few to scrunch their noses up.

"Next, add the base ingredients. Add in the vegetable stock, wild rice, mushrooms, carrots, celery, sweet potato, bay leaf and a quarter cup of pre-made Old Bay seasoning. If you don't have access to pre-made seasoning from a store, it's easy enough to make. Just blend celery salt, black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes and paprika together until you get the taste you like. Stir to combine."

"Continue cooking until the soup reaches a simmer then reduce the heat to medium-low, cover and continue to simmer, stirring occasionally for about 30-40 minutes until the rice is tender. Once your time is up, add in the remaining ingredients of coconut milk and kale to the soup and stir gently until combined. Taste and season with salt and pepper as needed. Cover and put it aside while you work on the bread bowl."

He grabbed a couple of loaves of round bread from the pantry, "You can use pre-made loaves from the bakery if you have access or you can make your own. I won't be getting into bread making since we have these handy already. Slice open the top inch or so and scoop out the inside leaving just enough to contain the soup without collapsing." Once that was done, he scooped some of the soup into the bowl and passed it out to his audience.

Harry leant up against the counter and related some notes of his from his previous attempts at scaling down the size of the bread bowl, "I had the thought of trying to serve the bread bowl in a large mug but that ended up being a failure. The amount of bread left after scooping out the insides was nothing more than a pitifully thin shell that turned to mush the moment I added the soup. So what does everyone think?"

A round of applause was given and shouts of congratulations were heard from the audience.

* * *

**Monday morning, Great Hall**

There was a weird feeling going through the castle inhabitants. It wasn't anything overt but more of a pervading sense of impending doom in all those who would wish harm to innocents. Bullies suddenly found other things to occupy their attentions on. Minerva slowed to a stop as she peered around the hallway on her way to breakfast. ' _Weird, I sense trouble brewing but_ _Peeves is nowhere to be found so that couldn't be it.'_ Severus paused in eating his breakfast and shivered suddenly, his eyes widening dramatically. _'Oh, no. I know that feeling. They're here…_ '

Harry plopped down on the bench at the Gryffindor table and smiled wickedly at the Weasley Twins who were returning it with puzzled expressions.

"Something you wish to share, Harrykins?" George inquired.

The doors opened up at that moment and two men appeared in the doorway. One was sandy-haired and had numerous scars on his face plus that weather-beaten look of someone who spent a long time at the beach. The other man was raven-haired with silvery eyes that danced with mirth and a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. Both were well dressed and staring straight at where Harry and the Twins were sitting.

Fred and George stared at the new visitors then turned towards Harry who still smirked wolfishly.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

* * *

**Recipes:**

Cozy Autumn Wild Rice Soup in a sourdough bread bowl (Pinterest)

**Scottish Gaelic translation according to Google:**

"Chrath thu seann ahobar geal! A'toirt ionnsaigh air cuideigin air beulaibh na cloinne!" (You miserable white whiskered old goat! Attacking someone in front of the children!)

"Bha fios agam gu robh thu dulich nuaira dh 'fheuch thu ri cuir às dhomh nuair a dh' innis mi dhut nach gabadh earbsa a chur ann an Quirrell! (I knew you were trouble when you tried to obliviate me when I told you that Quirrell couldn't be trusted!)


	12. Waiter! There's a Rat and a white hair in my soup!

**Chapter 12: Waiter! There's a Rat and a white hair in my soup**

**4 November, 1991 Great Hall, same time**

"Hey, Pup. How are things?" Sirius asked as he ruffled Harry's hair, smirking as he always did when Harry growled ineffectually at him.

Both men sat down on either side of Harry and smiled politely at the Weasley Twins who stared back with dumbstruck expressions on their faces.

"Um, so…who are your friends? Are they alright?" Remus coughed into his hand to break up the tension. Fred started blinking again as George made a sort strangled whine.

Harry chuckled and gestured with a flourish, "Remus 'Moony' Lupin, Sirius 'Padfoot' Black; I would like to introduce you to Fred and George Weasley, current reigning pranksters of Hogwarts." Both Marauders nodded once in greeting.

Fred could only manage a squeaky 'hi.'

Minerva appeared a moment later, "Misters Lupin and Black, how nice it is to see you both again. I sincerely hope you're not here to cause more trouble are you?"

Sirius placed his hand over his chest like he'd been mortally wounded, "Professor! I should be outraged that you would ever think of such a thing! I am the paragon of reformation and rehabilitation."

A single eyebrow rose up in disbelief causing Sirius to sag in mock sadness, "Moony! It's like she doesn't trust her old favorites. Hold me…" he started wailing how Minerva had forsaken him. That broke the Twins out of their shock and started them laughing. Harry just rolled his eyes and looked to the ceiling for Divine Intervention.

"Just promise that you will try to not set anything on fire or bring the castle walls down, eh?" her eyes twinkled slightly and the corners of her mouth twitched before turning around and heading back up to the teacher's table; a transfigured fluffy tail swishing from the back of her robes. Everyone's eyes turned to Sirius who just shook his head and slyly pointed at Remus who sat there with a contented grin spread over his face.

Sirius turned to the twins with a full-blown Marauders grin, "So what do you both like to do for fun around here these days?"

* * *

_**Five minutes later in the Weasley Twins' 'Lair of Laughs'…** _

Harry peered around the converted abandoned classroom, curious as to what most of the items were that were in sight yet somewhat fearful of the things still in crates. _'Nothing good can come from things in moldy looking crates with questionable labels on them.'_

Sirius on the other hand, was digging enthusiastically through one such crate, "I'm impressed, boys. It's not every day when someone can come across a jar of any size of powdered Magma Wyrm eggs."

"Thank you…sir."

Sirius glanced up at the redhead with a sardonic eye, "None of that 'sir' stuff. I'm not noble enough to warrant it and even if I was, I'd rebel."

"Um…uh, sure."

"Relax, kid. It's just 'Padfoot.' Say it enough times and it gets easier."

The redhead in question, George, slumped his shoulders and shook his head, "I don't think I'll ever get to that point. You two are legendary and compared to you, I feel like I'm still in nappies and just figured out which end of the bottle to hold."

Remus slapped his hand consolingly on George's shoulder, "Think of how we felt when we discovered that we weren't the first or even the original pranksters. There were others that came before us who terrorized the school."

Fred sat forward on the chair he'd been sitting on, "Who?"

Sirius had put down the jar and wiped his hands, "Two of the Founders, of course! Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin were the original pranksters."

Harry perked up, "Really? I thought they were always at odds with each other?"

"That argument came later in life, according to the journals we found in a distant corner of the library, it was during their younger days while setting up the school they weren't allowed to be in the same room together unsupervised. For example, the Grand Staircase is one of their pranks. According to the journals, the two had gotten the brilliant idea to prank Rowena Ravenclaw as she had the tendency to read as she walked from her tower to the lower floors. Well, you can imagine that she would walk with one hand on the railing to guide her on her way. Well, Godric had the brilliant idea to shift the direction of the stairs so it would take her twice as long to descend the stairs as it would normally. Since Charms and enchanting was Slytherin's forte, it was his job to make sure the stairs continued to shift at random times until they were cancelled."

That had Harry and the Twins in stitches of laughter, "So do you know how to cancel out the enchantment? Harry asked through his wheezing.

Remus nodded sagely, "There's a statue at the base of the Staircase that's holding its hand out for you to shake. Shake that hand and say, 'Mission Accomplished.'"

"What happened to these journals? Do you still have them?"

Remus smiled, "They're in my vault. Come Yule, I'll be happy to show them to you."

* * *

Gesturing between the twins, Sirius asked them what sort of pranks they'd pulled since starting at the school.

"Ah, where to begin, " replied Fred, "I think the first one we successfully pulled that was worthy of being called a prank was the time that we spiked the Slytherins' morning pumpkin juice with a very mild sleeping draught. All throughout the day, the snakes kept falling asleep, sometimes just sinking to the floor to take a nap. Seems childish now, but at the time it was awesome."

Sirius grinned and waved his hand dismissively, "All the greats have to start somewhere, you know. What else?"

George picked up the thread, "Swapped the labels on the condiments. If you reached for the ketchup, you ended up getting hot sauce. Mustard got you mayonnaise and so forth." Harry looked scandalized.

"If you ever try that again when I'm making food, I'll… I'll…well, I'm not sure what I'd do but it wouldn't be pleasant."

George clapped him on the back, "Never fear, young Harrykins. If word got out that we did that, I think the whole school might rebel and we'd be lucky to get out with our lives."

"Ah, got a taste of Harry's cooking, have you?"

Both twins put on the look like they'd seen heaven, "Harry Potter doesn't cook. Harry Potter makes Art."

Harry blushed at the praise.

"So, what else?" Remus asked to get things moving again.

"Well, we got into the laundry and charmed the Ravenclaw's robes to randomly change colors and patterns."

Remus frowned briefly, "Simple but not exactly what I thought you would do."

Fred smirked, "Ah! But here's the best part; depending on which spell was then cast on them, either a 'finite' or 'finite incantantum,' it would either cause their robes to turn transparent or make rude noises as they moved." Remus silently clapped his approval.

"I think the funniest one we've ever done was to the other Houses' Quidditch teams. We swapped out their brooms and balls for the muggle variety. The Quaffle was a large red rubber ball, the Bludgers were just two ordinary cannonballs and the Snitch was a walnut painted gold."

Fred tapped his chin, "Hey, Georgie, remember that time we pranked Argus Filch's shoes to sing that Didney song, 'Hi ho, it's off to work we go?'"

Remus chuckled, "That's _Disney_ and that's hilarious. How long was it good for?"

George shrugged, "An hour at most though we never got to hear more than a couple of lines of the song. He just went back to his office and changed shoes."

Harry picked at his thumbnail, "I got an idea." All eyes swung to him. "What…I mean, have you ever pulled anything on the headmaster?"

The Twins shook their heads while the Marauders nodded theirs but Remus motioned for him to continue, "What was your idea, Harry?"

"It won't do you any good now but… maybe use it on another professor like Snape? You ever heard of a whoopee cushion?"

* * *

_**While the Twins and Marauders were showing off to one another…** _

Hermione was on a mission to seek out some pressing information. Information on what _really_ happened to Sally-Anne Perks. She had tried to speak with Madam Pomfrey but the older medi-witch was bound by confidentiality rules. She tried with her Head of House however Pomona politely but strongly suggested that Hermione not concern herself with it.

Finally, she decided to take Harry's advice and speak with the elves.

"Tiny? Is there a Head Elf for the general stuff within the school? I have a question about a student who was supposedly expelled and I want to know why."

The Head Kitchen Elf looked up from her order forms, "There is being another elf but Tiny can be telling you too."

"The girl's name is Sally-Anne Perks from Gryffindor…"

Tiny held up a hand stopping her, "Tiny knows who you is speaking of. Not many students get sent away for what Little Miss did. Little Miss be saying that she be seeing evil faces in the shiny trophies and wanted to smash them to get them to stop mocking little miss."

That rocked Hermione back on her heels, "Oh, Sally-Anne…"

"Little Miss' parents be coming to the school and be saying that Little Miss will be going to a school closer to their home instead and that it being safer for everyone."

Hermione eyes teared up, "I wish I knew her home address so I could write to her." She straightened up and put on a brave face, "Thank you, Tiny. You've been a big help."

Tiny patted her hand, "Anytime."

* * *

Hermione determinedly made her way up to Professor McGonagall's office and knocked on the door. When she was bid to enter, she didn't even wait to be asked what the problem was, "I would like to have Sally-Anne Perks' home address so I can write to her and let her know that I don't hold her at fault for what she experienced."

Minerva let out an uncharacteristic snort of laughter, "And it's a pleasure to see you too, Miss Granger," she tilted her head and studied the pint-sized dynamo before her, "You heard what happened to young Miss Perks?"

Hermione waggled her hand, "Sort of. I heard she had a mental breakdown and started seeing things and that's why she started destroying the trophies."

Minerva held out a tin, "Have a biscuit." Hermione was puzzled but took a Ginger Snap anyways and bit into it. (It was good but not Harry-quality.)

"I think it's wonderful that you would like to write to Miss Perks. It shows a determined degree of friendship and even bravery towards someone you've never met before. You're correct that she did have a breakdown of sorts in her short time here. It's rare but it does happen, especially amongst the muggleborn who are not used to being away from home for long periods of time and also being thrust into a whole new situation." She took out a scrap of paper and wrote something down on it, "I'm entrusting this to you; please do not share with the others what really happened unless you get approval from Miss Perks or her parents first."

Clutching the paper in her hands, Hermione promised Minerva that she wouldn't and took her leave. When she got to the door, Minerva called her name again.

"Oh, and ten points to you Miss Granger for your compassion."

* * *

**Third Floor Ballroom**

Argus Filch was actually enjoying himself in a way that he'd never thought possible. True, he was tired, sweaty, and dirty and in need of a stiff drink but the restoration of the ballroom and other exercise rooms was proceeding splendidly. It was a constant source of amazement in the grandeur and beauty that went into the design of each of the rooms. Even the most staid of them, like the aerobics studio which just had a mildly springy floor and mirrors on three of the four walls, was still an example of Art Nouveau organic styling in the doorframes or the stained glass window treatments. The coup de grâce had to be the ballroom which was decorated to resemble something straight out of the Queluz National Ballroom in Portugal. He remembered that visit fondly, it was one of the few trips in the muggle world he'd taken while studying for his Master's degree in Art History. The cream colored walls with the hand-painted murals, sweeping gold trim, hanging crystal chandeliers, and floor to ceiling windows that let in huge amounts of natural lighting. Why anyone would want to seal this all away and just let it turn to rubble was beyond him.

He was overseeing the construction team that had been hired from who knew where by the Hogwarts Elf Assignment Supervisor (who knew that elves had subcontractors!). A 'pop' heralded the arrival of one of the elves.

"Mr. Filch, sir. Where does you be wanting this crate of books?" came a somewhat deeper yet still squeaky voice.

Argus turned to see one of the slightly taller elves holding a clipboard and standing next to said crate, "What's in it?"

The elf peered at the manifest, "Ex-er-cise books and charts."

"Ah, take that to the library just off the aerobics studio. Down that hall, third door on the left side." He pointed in that direction.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Argus decided to take another look at the Roman style indoor pool and its enchanted skylight and animated murals. The tall columns, panoramic windows to let in the light, a decent sized lounging area and heated tub and sauna promised to be a showstopper. Argus headed down the wide hallway until he heard the sounds of flowing water and banging of tools. He stepped into the room and his nose was immediately hit with the sharp, acrid aroma of some sort of harsh cleaning chemical.

"Petey!" He yelled out in between rasping coughs.

The elf in question popped to his side, "Yes, Mr. Filch?"

"What's with that stench?" he demanded, his eyes watering and covered his nose and mouth with a handkerchief.

"It is being chlorine to clean the walls of the pool and kill all the nasty things."

Argus was surprised that the elves knew what chlorine was, given that chlorine was a muggle creation.

"It is not being of importance but some of our elves were owned by masters who were open to muggle advances and taught their elves. They is then be bringing the information to the jobs."

Argus eyes were watering as he hurried back outside and closed the door. Petey popped in a moment later. "So will you be using it to keep the pool clean? Why is it that the elves aren't affected by that stench?"

Petey nodded, his ears flapping, "The pool will have to be emptied once in a while but we is knowing to do it when the students is being asleep. We just use an air cleaning charm around our heads while we're working in there."

Argus thanked the elf then quickly took his leave and headed back to his office still coughing. On the way there, he spotted a quartet of green and silver robed girls sneaking into the mini-library and followed them to make sure they weren't trying to damage anything.

* * *

_**In the mini-library…** _

"Millie, I don't think we're supposed to be here yet," whispered Tracy Davis as she tugged on Millie's sleeve. Millie waved her friend's hand off and continued further into the room. The other two girls, Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson were rifling through some papers stacked on a desk.

"I'm just curious as to what is so fascinating about these muggle books." She opened one box of books up and picked out the first one. It was a primer on weightlifting basics, Millie's eyes grew wide at the full-color images of muscular men and women.

"Ahem."

The girls whirled around and shied back from the sight of the usually cranky Argus Filch standing in the doorframe.

"Curiosity is not a sin but stealing is," Argus intoned and crossed his arms across his chest.

Millie swallowed noisily, "I wasn't going to steal it. I was…just looking."

"Uh-huh. Well at any rate, the library isn't open yet so I suggest you put that back in the box. If you want to help out, I suggest you speak with Madam Pince." He turned to the side to usher the girls out.

* * *

_**Back with the Marauders, Twins and Harry…** _

Sirius and Remus were leading the younger boys around the school, pointing out some of their hiding spots and shortcuts the older two had discovered during their own time. Harry mentioned that if they'd had made a map, it probably would've made life easier to remember all of this. That startled the twins who looked chagrined.

"We forgot to mention that we have your map, Moony and Padfoot. We've been using it to plan our pranks and escape from the teachers. We humbly return it to you."

They ducked into an abandoned classroom and the Twins laid the old parchment onto a desk.

"Ah, will you look at that Moony? It's still got that stain where Prongs barfed all over it after getting sloshed on firewhiskey." Sirius reminisced while Remus groaned at the memory.

"My dad got sloshed? How old was he?" Harry asked excitedly, nothing would get him more jazzed than to hear stories about his parents.

"Fourteen. We'd stolen the bottle from a prefect who nicked it from the Three Broomsticks. James arrogantly thought he could handle it. Two shots in and he passed out on the couch. Woke up the next morning and barfed on the table where the map happened to be still laying."

"Two shots of whiskey and he passed out? My dad was a lightweight, wasn't he?"

Sirius laughed, "When it came to alcohol, yes. When it came to things that no normal human should eat because of a dare? He would do it without hesitation. I remember one time Lily to go suck the sweat off a hippogryff's beak. He got this glint in his eye and trotted off; we had to carry his bruised and beaten body to the hospital wing."

The twins were howling with laughter while Harry just shook his head in exasperation, "Even we're not _that_ crazy!" Fred laughingly commented.

"James would do the weirdest things to try and woo Lily Evans. You didn't even have to dare him; just mention her name and it was like someone had put him under the Imperious Curse," Remus reminisced, "There was even a sign-up sheet in the Gryffindor Tower to suggest ideas to get him to try to accomplish while under her thrall."

"What about Harry's mum? Did she ever get into pranking?" George asked.

Sirius grunted in amusement while gesturing Remus to take this one. Remus sat back like a cat who caught the canary, "Oh, Lily did pull pranks but they were more…cerebral. She had a way of making you think that you'd just won the lottery then later realize that you'd just been had. That's not to say that she didn't come up with practical jokes every now and then."

"Like what?" Harry's eyes were wide.

"Her favorite method was to go the stealthy route. Pranks that couldn't be identified using magical means. For example, her favorites were wet paint on a chair or greasing up the inside of someone's shoe." Harry barked out a laugh and dropped his head back facing the ceiling laughing his butt off.

The twins turned to look at Harry, "We said it on the train, Harrykins. You are the Heir of Pranking Royalty."

* * *

Harry pulled the map over to him to look it over while the Marauders and Twins were discussing the mechanics involved getting the map to work. He was examining the Slytherin Common Room when he noticed the name 'Peter Pettigrew.'

"Uncle Moony?"

Remus paused in his explanation of how the Revealing Spell worked, "Yes, Harry?"

"You said the map is tied into the wards and therefore can't lie, right?" There was a hint of worry in Harry's voice.

Remus grew concerned as he got to his feet, "Yes, I did. Why?"

Harry pointed to Peter's name, "Because I think I found Wormtail."

* * *

**Slytherin Common Room, Dungeons**

After sending out a communication Patronus to Minerva and Severus; the Marauders plus Harry and the Twins raced as fast as they could down to the dungeons. The older men took some shortcuts that not even the Twins knew about and had them there in record time. Minerva and Severus appeared a few minutes later. After explaining what all had happened including revealing the existence of the map, Severus gave the password and entered first.

He gazed around the room, his usual severe countenance not unusual so Peter never got a warning that something was amiss. It wasn't until a flash of red light coupled with his sight going black did his mind, in that brief time between consciousness and sleep, connect the possibility that the game was up.

* * *

When Peter came around, he found himself bound to a chair in the Infirmary. There were other people in the room and it caused his heart to start pounding heavily; they were the _last_ people he'd ever want to meet.

"Re-Remus? Sir-Sirius? My old friends!" he stammered and ended in a pitiful whine.

Sirius stormed up and slammed his fist into Peter's stomach, only the ropes binding him kept the prisoner from toppling over.

"After all the years of friendship we had together, you sold James and Lily out to Voldemort?!" Sirius raged.

Peter coughed and spat onto the floor, his pleading look devolved into one of loathing, "What friendship? You and James had everything yet you never shared! I was _always_ the fall guy for your pranks here at school! ' _Poor, pitiful Peter Pettigrew! Weak-willed and easily led!_ ' Isn't that what you told James many times whenever I got caught? The Dark Lord knew though, he knew that I was a valuable asset to his cause! I could've been a powerful and rich wizard if only Harry had died that night!"

Remus stared at his former best friend with a dark glint in his eyes, "Did we ever pull pranks on you, Peter? Did we ever cause you to fail on your tests? All three of us did our absolute best to make sure you learned how to become an Animagus at fifteen! I distinctly remember staying up for hours during our OWLs and NEWTs just to make sure you got by with at minimum an Acceptable grade. I was even the one who gave up an opportunity to work in the Ministry just so you could get a job," His voice was deadly calm.

"Fat lot of good it did for me," Peter growled.

Sirius paced back and forth before whirling on Minerva, "I'm done with this fat lump of garbage. Contact Amelia and let her deal with him." He turned one last time to Peter, "I spent nearly ten years of my life in that hellhole of Azkaban because of you! I lost out of ten years that I could've had with James, Lily and Harry because of you!" Sirius was practically screaming at this point before he went deadly still, "You know what? I absolve myself of you. You, Peter Andrew Pettigrew are dead to me. I refuse to see you, I refuse to hear you; you are DEAD to me!" With that, he stormed from the room.

Remus stood there silently for a moment before leaning down into Peter's face, "If it were up to me, I would lock you in a room while I transformed then let the wolf have its way with you. You should know, Moony is very _displeased_ right now…"

* * *

**Hufflepuff Girls' Dorms, the next day**

_Dear Sally-Anne,_

_My name is Hermione Granger and you and I were at Hogwarts together briefly until your… transfer. Even though I am in Hufflepuff while you were in Gryffindor, I wanted you to know that I don't hold any fault with you over what you experienced in the Trophy Room. I am rather curious as to how you are doing now? Are you getting treatment for the breakdown? What is it even called? How are you settling into your new school? I hope that you and I could be pen pals so you don't feel so alone, if you're willing._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Hermione Granger, Hufflepuff House_

* * *

Hermione sat back in her chair and reviewed what she'd written. It was short, not even really a longish paragraph but it should be enough to at least establish a tentative friendship. She slipped the letter into an envelope and wrote Sally-Anne's name and address onto the face then headed out to the Owlery. When she entered, she spotted Hedwig peering down at her from her roost in the rafters.

"Hey Hedwig, do you feel up to delivering a letter?"

Hedwig ghosted down from her spot, landed on the windowsill, and stuck out her leg. Hermione affixed the envelope to the bird's leg with a rubber band and knelt down to look the owl in the eyes.

"I know that Harry says that you should only deliver at night but we both know that you are the best there is. After all, he's just being an overprotective _boy_." Hedwig huffed in a way that could've been construed as laughter, "Take your time and if Sally-Anne wants to give you a reply, just go ahead and wait."

Hedwig nuzzled Hermione's ear and launched herself out the window.

* * *

A couple of days later at breakfast, Hedwig delivered Sally-Anne's response letter to Hermione. Harry sat there looking puzzled at the delivery but still handed his owl a strip of bacon. "Hermione? When did you send a letter out?"

She'd just unstuck the flap and looked up at the sound of her name, "Hmm? Oh, a couple of days ago." She dropped her voice to a near whisper, "I wrote to Sally-Anne Perks to see how she was doing to settle into her new life and school after what happened here when she had that problem in the Trophy Room." Harry nodded sagely and went back to his English textbook.

* * *

_Dear Hermione,_

_Thank you so much for writing to me! It means a lot to me to know that my outburst didn't have too much of an impact outside those innocent trophies. I hope they're not mad at me? A little polish ought to clear things right up (haha.) Things have been settling themselves since I've left; my mum and dad were against me going to Hogwarts from the start because of my condition which is called 'Childhood Onset Schizophrenia.' The symptoms I've been told are similar to adult schizophrenia: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking, etc._

_It's been tough trying to overcome the shame that I've been feeling. I can only guess that I'm the hot topic of discussion there at the castle? I've just started at my new school; the teachers and staff seem nice so far. The other kids either recognize that I'm in the room with them or are spaced out from their medications. Treatment is… going. My new therapist has been discussing my options with my parents, it's looking like I'll be getting on some medication soon as well as a modified education plan. Unfortunately I won't be able to continue my magical studies since my new school would just treat my abilities as another manifestation of my illness. (I hoping that maybe I could get a tutor. We'll see what happens.)_

_I should tell you that if you send that beautiful owl down again, I just may end up trying to keep her. When she arrived, I was in the middle of another episode but when she appeared, all of a sudden the demons vanished. I don't know if it's because of her sudden appearance or what but I feel so calm and relaxed when she's near. She's such a sweet bird; she cuddled with me after I blacked out and preened my hair as I came to._

_Your friend,_

_Sally-Anne_

* * *

**Saturday, Hogwarts Kitchens**

Harry was busily preparing for his next demonstration when Draco Malfoy of all people sauntered into the room. It surprised Harry since he was of the belief that the blonde-haired aristocratic boy didn't even know where the kitchens were and if he did, considered them to be beneath his notice. Draco settled himself onto a bench after turfing out an elf; tapped his fingers on the armrest, tilted his head and got a look on his face as if to say, _'Well? Let's get on with it?'_

Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes briefly. _'Whatever. At least it's not Weasley down here; he'd be chewing on the stone walls by now.'_

"Hello everyone! Welcome back to another culinary carnival of 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks!'" A rousing round of applause erupted from the crowd. "Today will be different that the usual full meals that I've been showing you. Today, we're going to be making a savory snack perfect for just about any time of the day."

"So today's recipe is called 'Mozzarella Stuffed Rosemary and Parmesan Soft Pretzels. They're made with a simple soft pretzel dough and loaded with fresh herbs and Italian cheese. Today's pretzel recipe is made with not one but _two_ cheeses and flavored with rosemary, black pepper, garlic powder and sea salt!"

Several members of the audience quietly moaned with anticipation. Even Draco was spotted shifting in his seat.

"This homemade soft pretzel dough is made with yeast but don't let that scare you off! Because working with yeast is easy once you know a few things." Harry gestured to a posterboard he'd set up with some of the tips and tricks he'd picked up over the years.

"First rule is 'Don't kill the yeast!' You don't need hot water to activate the yeast. What you want is _warm_ water. A general rule of thumb is if you can keep your finger in the warm water and it doesn't scald you within two seconds, it's good enough for the yeast. Second, yeast reproduces best between 20 and 26 degrees Celsius. This simply means if your house is pretty cold, crank on the oven for a few minutes just to warm it up then let your dough rise in there just don't forget to turn off the oven before placing the dough in there to rise!"

Harry picked up a bowl and dumped in the yeast. To this he added warm water, sugar, salt then left it in the warm oven to rise for about 10 minutes until it began to foam, "Add in the rosemary, flour and butter and knead for about twelve minutes. Cover the dough with a warm damp cloth and place in a warm area of your kitchen to rise for about an hour or until the dough has doubled in size."

Wiping his hands on a towel, he started with the fillings, "These pretzels are stuffed with mozzarella, parmesan and rosemary. It's very important that you use _fresh_ rosemary as the dried variety won't add the same flavor to the dough. If you can't get fresh, then I suggest leaving it out. For the cheese filling, I have two tips: 1) Combine the two cheeses in a bowl then place it in the freezer for twenty minutes. This trick helps the cheese melt slowly. Slow melting cheese equals less leakage during the baking process. 2) Resist the temptation to overstuff your pretzels! Overstuffed pretzels will burst and leak while baking."

"Preheat your oven to about 220 degrees C and line two large baking sheets with parchment paper; set these aside for now. Add water and baking soda to a large pot or Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Divide your dough into 8 equal rounds and roll them out into a 41 centimeter long rope. Roll out each rope so it's 10 centimeters wide. Remove the cheese from the freezer and add 2 tablespoons of cheese evenly along the center of the strip. Tightly roll the dough back into a rope, jelly roll style, pinching the ends together.

Harry then began demonstrating how to roll out the dough and cut it into strips. He then sprinkled on the mixed cheese down the center of the strip and showed how to twist it into the characteristic pretzel shape. One at a time, he placed them into the boiling water and cooked them for 30 seconds each. He removed them with a slotted spoon, allowing any excess water to drip back into the pot before transferring the pretzel to a prepared baking sheet.

"Once all the pretzels have been boiled, brush the tops of each with an egg wash and place the pans into the oven to bake. Be sure to bake the pretzels for the full 16 minutes. Sometimes I even bake them a little longer because I like to get the outside really brown and toasty. The dough is so thick and soft that baking them for an extra few minutes will have no effect on the doughy interior. Allow the pretzels to cool on the baking sheet for about 5 minutes before touching."

In spite of himself, Draco was actually enjoying the show. He surreptitiously began taking notes and was surprised to realize that the idea of freshly baked food was exciting him.

While the pretzels were baking, Harry made up another bowl that combined some cheese, rosemary, garlic powder, black pepper and salt. When the pretzels came out and cooled enough to touch, he brushed on a bit of melted butter then sprinkled the seasonings on top. Then he pulled out a knife and cut up the pretzels into sample sized pieces. Tiny stepped up and began distributing them to the audience. Draco examined his piece, sniffed it and after he popped it into his mouth; his eyes rolled up and he swore that his brain froze from sensory overload. The pretzel just seemed to slowly melt in his mouth with minimal chewing.

* * *

Harry approached the arrogant Gryffindor afterwards with a knowing grin on his face, "So? How'd you like the show?"

Draco slowly shook his head, "Words cannot…describe. Merlin, Potter! That was… and you… gah! Why in all things magic were you not sorted into Slytherin! You could rule the world with this quality of cooking, or was this baking?"

Harry shrugged, "It was a little of both. I got sorted where I did because I asked for it. I didn't want to be looked down upon as part of the usual animosity between Gryffindor and Slytherin, I like to study but not excessively so. Hufflpuff just seems to…I don't know. It's like my House is the…what's the word… Tiny!"

Tiny popped over, "Yes, Little Sir?"

"What's the word to describe a House that has all the other features of the other three? I know it starts with the letter E."

Tiny scrunched her face up in thought, "Ah, embodiment!"

Harry threw his hands up in a 'aha!' gesture, "Yes, thanks Tiny. Hufflepuff is the embodiment of the characteristics of the other three Houses. We have the brave, the intelligent and the cunning. We just know how to work together and solve our differences without getting violent."

* * *

_**A couple of days after Albus' arrest for attempting to attack Daggerclaw…** _

**Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Director Bones' Office**

Amelia pulled out her 'not so secret' secret bottle of firewhiskey and poured herself a large glass. She tried to relax in her chair but the report from Albus' 'interrogation' left her on edge and with a bad taste in her mouth. After his blow-up and subsequent attempted attack on Daggerclaw, Albus had been stunned then taken to the DMLE holding cells for further evaluation. The department's Healer ran several diagnostics as well as peering into his mind using Legilimency. What she found was the cause of Amelia's disturbance.

Thoughts (ravings really) of mass genocide, destruction of several old Families (through selective breeding), suppression of progressive ideas and his plans to further the ideological conflicts between the muggles, muggleborn and purebloods just so he could increase his grip over the future of Magical Britain and eventually the world. She remembered from her own history lessons that Gellert Grindlewald had espoused the same ideas for the 'Greater Good' however _his_ method was to start an outright war between the muggles and wizard-kind whereas Albus wanted to go the quieter, subtle route of having what amounted to an essentially captive audience and introduce his manipulations slowly. A kind word here, an introduction there, subtly steering the young impressionable minds of the nation's youth to accept him as the wise benevolent leader with the Merlin-like appearance.

Amelia swallowed the rest of her whiskey and pushed a button on her desk, "Get me Director Croaker in the DoM."

When Croaker arrived, his face was impassive, "I take it you've read the report of the interrogation of Albus Dumbledore?"

Amelia grimaced as she poured him a glass, "I was sick to my stomach. How does someone like him manage to pull the wool over everyone's eyes and for so long?"

"Slow and steady wins the race, it appears. Taking a long con approach by becoming an educator was apparently the winning strategy as opposed to the route Grindlewald or even Voldemort took. Killing people off in a violent manner, bombings, _imperiusing_ others to do your dirty work, threats; these are the loud and dirty methods to achieving a goal and yet every time some idiot tries it, they end up dead or in prison. Albus' method is almost elegant and cunning; I'm eternally relieved that neither Dark Lords ever went that route."

Amelia sipped on her whiskey, "So what do we do now? I mean, first and foremost Albus needs to be put on trial. That's a given; the world needs to know just how far their idol has fallen as well as all of his other misdeeds in the inane pursuit of some nebulous Greater Good. It's the punishment I'm worried about. Should we lock him away in Azkaban where there's the remote likelihood that he could escape or toss him through the Veil of Death? Or do you want to get creative?"

Croaker looked up from his glass, "Creative? In what way? Launch him out of a cannon into a brick wall until he's just a splatter of gore and bone?" Amelia chuckled.

"No, I was thinking of binding down his magic to something like that of a squib, obliviating him of the knowledge of magic as well as his ability to remember how to communicate in English then dropping him in some far-flung remote country."

Now it was Croaker's turn to laugh, "I hadn't thought of that! That would be a fitting end, to die in some rat hole of a country with no one knowing who you are."

"What about running an experiment to see what happens when a convict is slowly pushed through the Veil feet first? How long does it take them to die? If you want to get vicious, I say that we should chain him to a large container of soil and plant a tiny cutting of Devil's Snare or Venomous Tentacular and let it slowly digest him."

"Amelia, I think you've been thinking about this a bit too much. Creative is good but unless you're willing to go Dark, then try to stick with the more ironic punishments. Besides, we've already done those experiments."

* * *

Silence reigned for a few moments before Amelia broached the other big item, "What's going on with that other professor, Squirrel I think his name was?"

Croaker drained the last of his whiskey, "Quirrell. Quirius Quirrell and he's still in stasis at the moment. We're trying to figure out a way to separate him from the parasite so both can be examined. As of right now, it's not looking too hopeful."

"Is it true though? The parasite is actually V-Voldemort?"

"Yes, but not all of him. In between the research on how to separate the two, my teams have delved into the parasite's mind and discovered that he'd created multiple containers to house his soul. I won't bother you with the details simply because they're my department's remission to deal with. Suffice to say, it's going to be quite the job rounding them all up and disposing them. He's already told us where two of these foul things are and we're looking into a third possibility."

"Are the locations anything I need to worry about?"

Croaker sighed and scratched his beard, "One is located in his mother's hovel of a home, the second was given to Lucius Malfoy of all people, while the third is supposedly hidden in Hogwarts. That's the one that needs to be handled gently."

Amelia was perplexed, "Why can't you just rip the information out of his memory?"

Croaker harrumphed, "Clever bastard put up mental versions of 'explosive booby-traps' should anyone try to force the extraction. Those explosives go off and the information, as well as the intruder, is destroyed. The intruder becomes mind-wiped similar to that of a Dementor's Kiss."

Her eyes bugged out, "Merlin!"

Croaker waved his hand as if to say, 'Right?' "So things have to be taken very slow and carefully."

* * *

**Hogwarts Library**

In a manner completely uncharacteristic of Peeves, he calmly floated through the aisles looking for the section on genealogy. If anyone had seen him they probably would've been worried for a number of reasons. First and foremost was how determined he looked and not that usual 'demented determined' to cause chaos either. Second was the fact that he wasn't trying to pull books and scrolls off the shelves; he appeared to be searching for some lost bit of information. Finally, he was speaking in a normal manner instead of that screeching, Pidgin English manner he normally used.

"Where is it, I know that I've seen it here before… ah, here we go." He slid a dusty tome off the shelf and carried it over to a table. After a few minutes of scrolling through the faded names, he found what he was looking for.

"Granger… runs back to… ok, Elphias Granger, Squib son of Bertrum and Antoniette Dagworth-Granger…runs back to… Hel...well, isn't that interesting? I need to find her portrait."

* * *

**Recipes:**

Mozzarella Stuffed Rosemary and Parmesan Soft Pretzels (Pinterest)


	13. I'll be home for Christmas...

**Chapter 13: I'll be home for Christmas…**

It was two weeks before the end of term and everyone was in high spirits. Word on the student grapevine was that Harry Potter was going to be putting together something special for the last culinary demonstration before they all went home. It was a mark of how much Harry's cooking talents influenced the minds (and stomachs) of the rest of the school when it wasn't uncommon to find clusters of kids of varying years and Houses discussing the latest technique or recipe in depth. A few of the more adventurous had even managed to get permission from Tiny to have their own public workstation to try their hands at making some of the simpler, snack or dessert recipes.

* * *

_Father,_

_I am pleased to report that my inclusion into the House of the Lions is producing unexpected yet desirable results. Even as I write this letter, two of my House mates are discussing their family's upcoming plans to invest in several businesses (see attached list). I offer this as a possibility for you to 'get in on the ground floor' as they say. These past three months have been a real eye-opener in that I was wrong to assume that being a Gryffindor was an insult or waste of my time. I have kept up a correspondence with a few acquaintances from the old families still in Slytherin and they have stated that nothing noteworthy has occurred within the 'Snake Pit.'_

_As you might recall, you instructed me to keep an eye on Harry Potter and potentially recruit him to our views. I can now certify that it would not only be impractical but a foolhardy attempt to do so. Harry Potter has his own agenda and can claim our current Goblin Headmaster/High Inquisitor as in loco parentis and confidant. This is the same Goblin who managed to get Albus Dumbledore ousted from the castle. Additionally Father, Harry Potter has stated that he does not wish to undertake any serious political aspirations at this time, or as he's put, "I'm only eleven. I have plenty of time in the future to make a political name for myself."_

_That being said, it is another talent of Harry Potter's that should be taken into account for his future political name. He cooks; you read that correctly Father, Harry Potter is a culinary master. I had the opportunity to witness and also sample his cooking demonstrations he puts on every week or so (homework permitting, he says.) I would think that if you were of mind, you should come up and see him in action. You won't regret it._

_Your Son and Heir,_

_Draco_

* * *

**Wednesday 4 December, 1991 During Lunch outside of the kitchens**

"Hey! You shouldn't be in there," Pansy admonished Ron Weasley as he stepped through the portrait guarding the entrance to the kitchens. She had made a detour up to the Great Hall for lunch when she spotted the portrait swing open. She saw the red-haired idiot stuffing his pockets with what looked like biscuits and part of a sandwich.

Ron growled at her, his breath rancid and shoved her up against the wall, "You'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for ya. 'M tired of being told what to do and what and when I get to eat. If you say _anything_ to _anyone_ about what you've seen here, I'll hunt you down and make you regret it!" He gave her one hard slap to the face and stalked off.

* * *

**Wizarding Studies class, after lunch**

Harry was sitting in his Wizarding Studies class listening and taking notes on how to present oneself in a business setting when Tiny popped in front of him.

"Harry Potter! You must be coming with Tiny! There is being trouble in the kitchens!" She grabbed his hand and popped the two of them out of the room.

When they reappeared, he saw with growing horror that his workstation had been practically torn apart. The now empty cooling cabinets had been wrenched open and one door was hanging from a single hinge. The spice canisters were strewn across the floor and their contents either mashed together or piled high in the sink's drain. There were bits and pieces of food and other ingredients leading away from the station and towards the door. Even the raw ingredients were heavily damaged; a couple of hams looked like they'd even been gnawed on.

Harry sank to his knees with tears in his eyes and a heart-wrenching sob escaped his lips, "Why? Wh…who did this?"

Tiny only shook her head, "We elves is not be knowing. It was like this when the afternoon shift came in to start preparing for dinner."

The portrait door opened as Pomona, Minerva and Daggerclaw came hurrying in; the two women stopped suddenly in shock and gasped. Daggerclaw made a beeline towards his charge; he knelt down and put a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Mr. Potter. It's not the end of the world and anything broken or stolen can be replaced." Harry solemnly nodded once and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"Who would do this? Why would they do this? I thought everyone loved my cooking show."

Pomona came up to the two of them, "Harry? Was there anything of value in your equipment?"

Harry shook his head forlornly, "No, all the equipment was from the school's supplies. I take my cookbooks with me when I'm done with each show."

"Can you think of anyone who might have a grudge against you?"

Harry silently shrugged and sniffed, "No one I can think of."

* * *

**Great Hall, twenty minutes later**

A school wide assembly was called for to be held in the Great Hall in order to deal with this travesty quickly. The rest of the day's classes were canceled and those who were out on the Quidditich pitch were called in.

Daggerclaw stood upon an elevated platform so he could address the crowd, "A tragedy has occurred today not half an hour ago. Some person or persons decided to destroy Harry Potter's workstation in the kitchens." Loud gasps and shouts of disbelief were heard, "There was extensive damage and nearly all of the edible food was stolen or partially eaten on site. If the guilty party, whoever he, she or they are, would step forward; we can begin the process of understanding their motives. Rest assured to everyone, we WILL find out who performed this heinous deed! If no one comes forward, either with information on who did the act or the guilty party themselves, then there shall not be anymore demonstrations for the foreseeable future." He stood there and glared at all present. No one moved or said anything.

Daggerclaw looked immensely disappointed, "In that case then…" he paused as soon as he saw a trembling hand rise from over at the Slytherin table, "Yes? You have something you wish to share, Miss Parkinson?"

Pansy looked like she was about to shake herself to pieces, she was trembling so much. Her face was pale and her eyes were red rimmed from crying, "Not here. Perhaps in a side room?" Daggerclaw led the girl from the room to a side antechamber. Whispers and muted accusations were heard throughout the Hall as the door closed behind them.

When they returned, Daggerclaw's face betrayed no sign of emotion while Pansy's hands were still shaking as she hurried back to her seat and sat there with her eyes and head down. Millie put her hand comfortingly on her friend's shoulder. At the other end of the table, Ron glared at the girl with murder in his eyes as he stuffed another biscuit into his mouth.

* * *

Daggerclaw resumed his position on the lectern platform and cleared his throat, "Will Mr. Ronald Weasley step forward?" A ripple of murmuring spread out amongst the students, some of it laced with words like, 'pig,' 'unconscionable 'or' dead git walking.' Ron looked up from his seat and wiped his mouth of the crumbs from some treat, "Huh?"

"Get up here, Weasley! NOW!" Daggerclaw bellowed angrily.

A Slytherin Seventh year Prefect grabbed the youngest Weasley by his robes and hauled him up to the front of the school.

Daggerclaw glared at the red-haired boy, "You, Mr. Weasley, were witnessed leaving the portrait that guards the entrance with your arms loaded with the very same foods reported to have been stolen from Mr. Potter's cook station. When confronted by the witness you threatened bodily harm. What do you have to say for yourself?" Several eyes swung over to Pansy.

Ron weakly tried to deny any involvement, "Wasn't me. You don't have proof." The Headmaster waved his hand and Ron's pockets emptied themselves onto the floor. Contained within were several handfuls of partially eaten biscuits, a gnawed-on ham steak, and a half empty box of homemade watermelon flavored gummy bears, the box was clearly labeled with Harry's name on the side.

The whole room broke out in angry mutterings and jeers at the red-headed walking stomach. Calls for his expulsion were heard, wadded up parchment was thrown at him and even a couple of hexes were cast. Daggerclaw held up his hands for silence; his face stormy with emotion.

"Ronald Weasley of Slytherin House, for your blatant disregard for other people's property, theft of said property, destruction of school equipment, threatening harm to another student and deliberate lying to the headmaster; you are hereby suspended from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for three months. Now go pack your trunk, your father shall be called."

Severus stood and forcibly escorted Ronald from the Hall. Harry stood and raised his arms to get everyone's attention. When they'd settled, "Given the state of my supplies and workstation, that special menu recipe I had planned and that everyone was looking forward to will no longer be possible." There were moans of despair and calls for the mutilated head of Weasley on a pike, "I know, I know but the elves told me that they can have the equipment repaired in short order and I can easily find a replacement menu using what's still in the main pantry."

The Hall erupted into raucous cheers.

* * *

_**An hour later…** _

Arthur Weasley stepped out of the floo in the Headmaster's office and dusted himself off. He looked around and took in the Goblin sitting in the chair that Albus had, until recently, occupied. He then saw his youngest son sitting on a chair with the deepest scowl on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. Severus stood quietly behind the chair.

Sighing deeply in frustration, "Headmaster Daggerclaw, Professor Snape. What has he done now?"

"Ronald here broke into the kitchens and destroyed school equipment, stole food belonging to another student, namely Harry Potter; in addition, he lied to my face regarding his actions in front of the entire student assembly and threatened another student who witnessed what transpired. It is my decision that young Ronald is to be suspended from the school for a period of no less than three months. Should at that time, he wishes to return, it will be decided by a panel consisting of myself, the senior teaching staff as well as members of the Board of Directors," Daggerclaw replied. "I have a pensieve loaded with the memory if you care to see it?"

Arthur was staring dangerously at his youngest son before turning and sticking his finger into the pensieve. His eyes glazed over as soon as it was activated; the memory didn't take very long and when he returned to himself, Arthur growled angrily at his youngest son. In his calmest (yet still heavily tinged with anger) voice, he pointed to the floo, "Take your trunk and head home. I will deal with you when I return." Ronald paled and scurried to the floo, dragging his trunk behind him. A spoken word and a rush of green flames later, he was gone. Arthur turned to the other two in the room, "What can…what sort of restitution will be demanded?"

"That remains to be seen. The amount of food that was taken is still largely salvageable, the equipment on the other hand will be need to be evaluated to see how much it will cost to fix or replace. We will send you a bill later. As for the threatened student, she is recovering with her friends."

Before Arthur left, he shook his head and apologized once more for his son's actions, "You know? There are times where I wonder what went wrong with him. I blame my wife for coddling him too much and myself for not cracking down harder on the both of them. I'm also wondering if he's even mine; none of my other children are as food greedy as he is. Headmaster, Professor; I shall see you in three months."

With that said, he flooed out of the office.

* * *

_**Two days later…** _

The kitchens had been repaired, the food replenished and once again Harry was getting ready to put on a show. He'd made the determination that he wasn't going to stop holding the demonstrations just because of the actions of one greedy boy. If anything, it made Harry (and those who attended) feel closer to one another.

"Hello everyone and welcome to another stomach expanding episode of 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks!' I wanted to thank everyone here today for your show of solidarity in light of the events two days ago." There was a loud round of applause and cheering. "And I see that we have some guests to the show as well, Minister Cornelius Fudge and Lord Lucius Malfoy. I thank you for taking some time out of your busy schedules, gentlemen. So let's crack on, shall we?"

Harry flipped over the cover hiding the recipe of the week, 'Mini Chicken and Leek Pies.'

"So let's begin shall we? Bring the stock to a boil in a small saucepan. Add the chicken and return to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, for about ten minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Remember, any pink in the chicken is a risk for salmonella poisoning!"

A couple of kids made gagging sounds. Lucius was surprised to see Draco diligently taking notes.

"Remove the pan from the heat and let the chicken stand in the stock for an additional ten minutes. Remove then chop finely. Reserve about 60 milli-liters of the liquid and discard the rest." Tiny was seen adjusting the charmed mirror to best show off how Harry finely chopped the chicken. Cornelius was stretching a bit to see closer.

"Now, once you've chopped up the chicken, heat the oil in a medium saucepan and cook the leek and celery, stirring until the leek softens. Add the flour and half the thyme (no jokes please, I've heard them all). Cook and keep stirring for one minute. Gradually stir in the reserved liquid and cream until the mixture boils and thickens. Stir in the chicken and mustard, season to taste. Remove from the heat and cool for about ten minutes."

Harry heard some groaning from the kids who were going to attempt making some lame thyme jokes and cut it off before they could get going. He returned their groans with his signature lop-sided smirk, the girls in the audience mock swooned while the rest giggled.

"Preheat your oven to 220 degrees Celsius and oil up eight holes in each of the two 12-hole deep flat-base muffin pans. Cut sixteen 7cm rounds from the puff pastry and press one round into each of the prepared holes, recombine the remainder of the pastry and re-roll it flat. Spoon one tablespoon of the chicken mixture into each pastry case. Cut sixteen 6cm rounds from the remainder of the pastry and top the chicken pies with the lids. A little tip here, keep a shallow dish of water handy and dip a couple of fingers into it to brush along the seam line of the pastry cups and lids, sealing them closed."

Draco nodded to himself as he scribbled down the tip to making the pies look perfect.

"The last step is to brush the lids with egg yolk, sprinkle the tops with sesame seeds and the remaining thyme. Using a sharp knife, make two small slits in each lid in the shape of an X or something, they will act as vents to let out escaping steam. Bake uncovered for about twenty minutes or until browned lightly. Once they're cooked, pull them out of the oven, let them cool slightly and serve. These pies are great for those busy mornings when you don't have time to stop and sit down for a meal. Just wrap up one or two with a napkin and eat them on the run. The filling can even be made ahead of time and stored in the fridge."

When the timer dinged after twenty minutes, Harry pulled out the trays and let them sit for a minute as he and Tiny lined up little paper napkins across the counter. He used a pair of tongs to scoop out the pies from the pan and placed them on the napkins. Tiny then enlisted the aid of another elf and began distributing the treats.

* * *

Cornelius nibbled on the mini pie and nearly lost himself in the tasty sensations. He glanced over to where Lucius was in a similar state, "Lucius? This…this is fantastic! Why didn't we have cooking shows like this when Dumbledore was in charge?"

"You just answered your own question, Minister." All eyes swung to where Harry was standing with a smirk on his face as he swept his hair out of his face. "Our former headmaster was apparently against a great many ideas he didn't hold value with. Besides my cooking shows, he was also the one behind the closure and denial of the third floor ballroom, pool, sauna and exercise rooms according to Daggerclaw. This is something I wanted to speak with you about. You see how popular my shows are yet I'm not qualified as a teacher to be holding these shows. I'm only eleven and it would be beneficial to not only myself but also the future generations of students if we could get a regular class where everyone learns how to cook and do other domestic sort of tasks."

"But Mr. Potter, that's what elves are for," Cornelius commented as he wiped the corners of his mouth and crumpled the napkin.

Harry gestured to a bulk of the students who remained, "Not everyone here is blessed to be able to afford elves. Even the elves that work here in the castle attend my shows because they get to learn something new. According to Tiny, the Head Kitchen Elf, before I arrived they were still using the same tired old recipes from Helga Hufflepuff's time because the headmaster didn't feel the need to experiment yet as you can plainly see, the students and staff here clearly like what they've been eating."

"What sort of new meals have you eaten here that the elves have made?" Lucius inquired.

"Well, just last night we had BBQ chicken pizza, rigatoni pasta with a meat sauce and antipasto salad."

Draco grinned and rubbed his stomach, "That was heaven, wasn't it? I never knew you could do that with pizza."

Lucius' eyebrow quirked up, "When have you had this… pizza before?"

"Here at the castle. I've had pepperoni, sausage, Hawaiian, veggie, dessert…"

"Dessert pizza? What's involved with that?"

Harry chuckled, "It's a chocolate chip biscuit crust topped with melted fudge and sprinkled with chopped soft candies. Throw it in the oven for a couple of minutes to let everything slightly melt and combine then serve warm with a couple dollops of French Vanilla ice cream."

Cornelius grunted, "I think my waistline just expanded from the description alone." Both Harry and Draco laughed lightly.

"Have you had anything from the other students?"

Harry shrugged a shoulder and crossed his arms, "Occasionally. The most adventurous of them had me try out this spiced carrot and sweet potato soup he'd made. It wasn't bad, I like a sharper bite to my seasoning but it was definitely worth sharing on a cold day."

* * *

After finishing up in the kitchen, Harry headed back to his dorm to get started on his Potions homework. Meanwhile, Cornelius and Lucius, at the urging of Draco, were escorted by Argus Filch to the third floor to see this newly discovered and in progress renovation ballroom. Both men had their eyes truly opened as they took in the grandeur and overwhelming stunning beauty of the main room. The corridor opened up to a balcony that overlooked the nearly completed restored Grand Foyer. Argus was explaining what they were looking at.

"We only have a couple more touch-ups left to go in here. Just some paint that needs to dry on the left hand mural and install a couple of potted plants. The lighting, the heating and cooling are all done. The acoustics have been checked; there's no annoying echo you usually find in a large vaulted room."

Lucius was stunned silent by what he observed and could only shake his head, "If only this were available in my own time here at school. Just think of the society parties that could be held here. I'd imagine my wife would be most interested in seeing this place."

Argus nodded sagely, "I know, right? That's one of the topics that will be covered by the Wizarding Studies professor. I'm sure your wife would be welcome to visit during the grand opening. Now, if you'll follow me…"

* * *

Argus escorted them from room to room, commenting on the little things that still needed doing or remarking to which rooms were completed. When he showed the two statesmen the indoor Roman pool, Cornelius was nearly overwhelmed.

"Who is paying for all this? The scope and incredible quality can't have been cheap."

Argus shrugged a shoulder, "Not my department. My job is merely to oversee the elvish construction crews and keep the students from getting in here before the official ribbon cutting."

"All told, how long before you think everything will be ready for the ribbon cutting?"

Argus crossed his arms and thought about it, "I think that at this current pace, we can have it all done by the time the students come back from the Yule break."

* * *

**Headmaster Daggerclaw's office**

Lucius was sitting in one of the richly padded chairs sipping on a glass of firewhiskey that had been offered to him after he and Cornelius arrived to discuss the school's finances with Daggerclaw. It never failed to amaze him just how used to the way things were done when Dumbledore had been in charge. This Goblin was like a breath of fresh air in comparison and the irony wasn't lost on him as well.

Cornelius was leaning over the desk examining the ledger that contained the finances used to cover the cost of the third floor restoration. His finger slowly sliding down the records, "Excellent job you did here, Headmaster. Where _did_ you find the money though?"

Daggerclaw sighed briefly and leant back in his chair, "The elves found it actually. They say there's a deep storage room filled with just about every imaginable sort of thing and some of it is actually worth quite a good deal of money. They brought out a couple of baskets of jewels and jewelry for my examination. I was informed that there's more where that came from; one of these days I hope to see for myself."

"Impressive. So we heard that it was Albus' idea to seal off that corridor long ago. Do you have any idea as to why?"

Lucius snorted, "It probably went against his lofty 'Greater Good' nonsense."

"Actually, you're not too far off the mark there Lord Malfoy." Daggerclaw turned and pulled a journal from a bookcase behind him and handed it over, "That is the compilation of the old man's rantings, plots and what-have-you regarding some of the things he wanted to change within the school. He believed the best way to get the purebloods to start actively rallying against the incoming muggleborns was to take away their ability to socialize in a proper setting and to shut down the classes that taught etiquette."

Cornelius was confused, "But _why?_ "

"He believed that in order for him to lead the impressionable youth towards the future that he foresaw, they needed to be stripped of what made them…them. Without the old ways taught and limiting what information was available, he would be able to shape their worldviews. He was trying to get everyone to view him as the next coming of Merlin as evidence in the way he dressed, his knowledge of events and magic, that grandfatherly attitude and that ridiculously long beard of his. He's even stated in there that it was all for show, complete theater if you will."

"So all the substandard classes and teachers over the years?"

Daggerclaw nodded sagely and gestured, "Exactly. Binns is a shining example of that. Keep the ghost on staff in the same position for eternity to ensure that no one learns the real history. Everyone treats his class as naptime, only those who bring earplugs are capable of staying awake."

Lucius put down his now empty glass, "Have you done anything to rectify this?"

"Binns was released from his teaching duties at the beginning of the year. Well, I should say that the _students_ were reassigned to a new teacher. Binns is teaching to an empty classroom, completely unaware of any changes. I've also discovered where his paycheck was going, I'll give you one guess as to where." He said the last with a smirk. The other two men shook their heads in disgust.

"What of the supposed curse on the Defense professorship?"

Daggerclaw snorted in derision, "A simple rune anchor array engraved into the castle stones around the door. That was one of three anchor points with the main Wardstone as the power source. I think it took the cursebreaker teams all of about fifteen minutes to deactivate and dismantle the curse."

Cornelius shook his head at that information, "Albus could've easily dealt with it yet never did. I'm assuming this was another part of forcing the future generations to see him as some kind of savior?"

Daggerclaw dropped his head and cocked his finger, "Exactly. He wrote that if each of the successive 'professors' were to become utterly useless, future students would turn to him to solve their defensive problems."

* * *

A moment of silence passed through the room as the scope of the manipulations that Albus Dumbledore had pulled on Magical Britain over the years hit them.

"Whatever happened to the forbidden side of the third floor corridor? I recall my son writing to me that Albus had made some sort of comment that everyone should stay away unless they wished to die a most painful death."

Daggerclaw growled at that, "The old goat actually had a series of traps and tests in that section. Behind a simple locked door that any first year could open, he had a Cerberus lying in wait and guarding a trapdoor. From there, it was a list of other 'traps' that in my view, any child over the age of thirteen could've figured out. An infestation of Devil's Snare, a room of charmed flying keys, a life-sized version of Wizard's Chess, it went on. I think the final test of sorts was to be a mirror of some repute. I was told what the final prize was supposed to be but I swore an oath of silence not to reveal it. The owner has since come back to retrieve it."

Lucius shook his head at Albus' reign of stupidity then stood and straightened out his robe, "Well, Headmaster I think you're doing a fine job here. I'm looking forward to attending the grand opening of the third floor. Any idea as to what to name it?"

Daggerclaw gave an exaggerated shrug with his hands, "Not really. I think I'll let the students pick something.

Both the Minister and Lord Malfoy gave their farewells and left via the floo.

* * *

**Monday 23 December, 1991 Hogwarts Express, heading south**

Hermione was wandering up and down the carriage aisle greeting various friends that she'd made over the past three months. It didn't matter which House they were in, they all still greeted her with joy and wishes for a happy Christmas. She paused at the door to the compartment that held the Twins before finally gathering up the gumption to knock.

The door slid open and Fred (she thought it was him) peered up at her, "Hello, Hermione. What's up?"

"Just wanted to wish you a happy Yule or Christmas and to remind you that Moony will be stopping by your place to take you to Harry's."

George (again, she wasn't sure) smiled beatifically at the mention of Moony's name, "Our hero come to rescue us from the nightmare that sure to be awaiting our presence. I'm wondering if we're going to find a filled in gravesite?"

Hermione grimaced at the thought, "You don't think your father would do something like that?"

Both twins shook their heads, "Nah, dad might yell and threaten with death but we doubt he'd actually go through with it."

"Well, again, I'll see you both after Christmas Day."

"Um, how is Harry…does he hold us with any…" one trailed off uncertainly.

"As far as I know, Harry doesn't hold any blame with the rest of your family. That was entirely on Ronald."

The Twins sighed in relief as she waved goodbye and headed back down the aisle.

* * *

**Dursley Residence**

After a loud and warm greeting at King's Cross and a quick stop to pick up something from a Thai restaurant, Harry entered his room and flopped down on his bed and sighed in relief. There was absolute silence for the first time since before he left to go to Hogwarts back in September. The castle was a constant source of hustle and bustle; it was such a pleasure to just…not move.

There was a light tapping on the door, "Come in!" The door opened to reveal Dudley standing there smiling and digging in his mouth with a toothpick, "Glad to be home?"

Harry smiled contended, "Yeah…"

"So, I've heard you got your own cooking show?"

"Yup. It's nice, I get to demonstrate to the others great recipes, inspire others to learn how to cook and all." Harry picked his head up and looked over at his cousin who had now parked himself on Harry's armchair, "What about you? I got a letter from Aunt Petunia that you won some sort of contest at your school?"

Dudley ducked his head and blushed, "It was a talent show and I entered with my guitar."

"What song did you play?"

"Freddie Mercury, Crazy Little Thing Called Love."

"Oooh, good one. I bet the girls swooned at you shaking like the Queen."

Dudley threw a pillow at his cousin who caught it and laughed. Pretty soon the two boys were engaged in a full on pillow fight.

* * *

**Wednesday 25 December, 1991 Dursley Residence**

It was cold, dreary and overcast that Christmas morning when Harry bolted out of bed. He was eager to open his presents and just barely remembered to put on his fuzzy bunny slippers and grab a robe from his trunk before thumping his way down the stairs. He skidded to a halt in front of the entrance to the living room. The tree that Vernon had put up the night before had been completely decked out with twinkling lights, ornaments and mound of wrapped presents around the base. He crept forward and inspected one of the lights. To his surprise, there was a tiny fairy sitting amongst the branches!

"Harry?" He spun around and spotted his aunt staring curiously at him.

Pointing at the tree, "There's fairies in there!"

Petunia came over and peered closer, "Well, I'll be! There is a tiny creature there. How? They weren't there last night. Do you suppose this has something to do with you being a student at Hogwarts?"

Harry shrugged, "Dunno, anything's possible."

"Do they eat anything? Is there anything we can give them to thank them?"

Harry dashed back up to his room and dug through his trunk before finally finding his Fantastic Beasts textbook and thumping back into the living room. He plopped down onto the couch out of breath, "Whew… Ok, let's see. Fairies…"

"It says that they feed on happy, positive emotion magics like if you hold a celebration of some sort. I guess Christmas would count; um…they're vain creatures who communicate via high pitched buzzing. Their wings are used in many personal care potions…ouch."

"What ouch?"

"The wings are pulled off of the fairy during harvesting. The book says it doesn't hurt or kill them but still…"

"Okay so beyond holding a happy Christmas, there's nothing we need to give them to eat or drink?"

Harry closed the book with a clap, "Not according to this. I could try whipping up something sweet and offer it?"

Petunia looked torn, "Only if it's easy. Today is going to be a lazy day at least until later. I'm making this year's dinner."

Harry pouted a bit, "You sure? I could help."

Petunia sighed and brushed her fingers through his hair, "I appreciate that. How about you make the side dishes? Just the usual sort of thing, nothing fancy."

* * *

The morning and early afternoon were spent just lazing around the house and (in the case of Harry) the greenhouse. It was too cold and wet to go anywhere plus Sirius and Remus were going to be apparating in later to have dinner with them as well as pass out their gifts. Dudley was commenting morosely that it was a shame that they couldn't have snow.

"If you were up in Scotland with me before the term ended; you would've seen your fair share of snow, Dudley." Harry quipped.

"It gets bad up there?"

"I've seen drifts as high as Hagrid."

Dudley's face scrunched up as he tried to remember who Hagrid was. Harry helped him out, "Remember me writing in the first couple of days where I was describing all that was in and around the castle? The groundskeeper is this guy that I swear is part-Giant or something! He's something like twelve feet tall and built like a bear!" Harry held his arms and hands out as far as they could go. Dudley's eyes grew wide, "Wow! How does he get into the castle if he's so big?" And so the boys were off in their own world of describing the things and people in Hogwarts.

* * *

_**Around 5 pm-ish…** _

The double cracking sounds heralded the arrival of Sirius and Remus to the Dursley Residence. Harry opened the sliding door and graciously welcomed his godfather and uncle to their home. Remus smiled warmly at his nephew and said he'd be right back to give hugs, the packages he held needed to be dealt with first. Sirius ruffled Harry's hair then pulled the boy into a tight hug.

"How're you doing, pup?"

Harry beamed at his godfather, "Pretty good. This term's been good to me. I finally figured out what I had been doing wrong in the written side of Charms and my cooking show has gotten the attention of the Minister himself! I pitched the need to have a proper class and teacher to teach the others how to cook and whatnot. I think I may have at least planted the seed of an idea in his mind so…" he shrugged at the end. They joined the others in the living room and got comfortable on the couch.

"Are you getting along with everyone? Did you ever clear up that problem with the Malfoy and Weasley kids?" Remus inquired.

Harry made a face, "Everyone else seems to at least like me if not love me. The girls like to mock swoon whenever I get near them while the boys think I'm either some kind of returning king or conquering hero. Draco Malfoy has actually been pretty decent this past term, dunno why though. Hermione thinks it has to do with the fact that he's not in Slytherin where mentioning his father name would get him whatever he wants. He even attended my last two demonstrations!"

Sirius looked pensive at that, "What about the youngest Weasley boy? I remember you writing about how jealous he'd become."

Harry harrumphed, "It'd gotten really bad by the time that December rolled around. Two weeks ago, he broke into the kitchens and nearly wiped me out of all the food and destroyed all my equipment and spices! Tiny told me about it and got the senior staff involved too, probably. I'm not sure of the all the details but another student saw him and she reported him to the Headmaster. After that, I don't know what happened and if he's going to come back or not." He shrugged exaggeratedly with his hands, "His twin older brothers will be here in a couple of days, I bet they'd tell you if you asked."

Remus patted him on the knee, "It'll be a family matter and that's not the sort of questions you ask of the children. If it was super important, I would make inquiries to the Head of House but it's not worth it in this case. The youngest was caught and most likely dealt with so it's over."

* * *

They finally got around to opening presents, much to the boys' evident relief (and a bit of whining). Harry had received a 'SodaStream' device that would turn ordinary drinks into soft drinks and a complete set of books on magical culinary tips and recipes from Sirius. Remus had gone a similar route, Harry got a Cuisinart Food Processor complete with all the attachments.

"Wow, thanks Uncle Moony and Uncle Padfoot! This is awesome, I can't wait to try this out."

Remus took the Cuisinart back from him and opened up the back where the power cord plugged into. He showed him a panel that had a metal plate attached to the inside, "This is a rune plate that will allow you to take this to Hogwarts and operate it within the castle. The plate substitutes the need for a power cord."

Vernon was puzzled, "Doesn't that interfere with the Statute of Secrecy?"

Remus shook his head as he handed the processor back to Harry, "No, if I had removed the cord and a muggle outside of this family saw it being operated then, yes that would violate the Statute. By leaving the cord attached it will still work even if you were to sell it later. Anyone not aware of what the plate represented would think it was a manufacturer's mark."

Dudley had gotten a couple of sheet music books as well as a box of high quality guitar picks made from Opaleye Dragon teeth and Goblin made guitar strings. Dudley's eyes widened comically at the sight of the guitar picks, they shimmered with an otherworldly quality. "Whoa… thank you _sooo_ much!" He immediately got up and raced upstairs to grab his guitar. He came back, plopped back down on the couch and immediately began unstringing his guitar.

* * *

The adults smiled benevolently at the two boys who were totally engrossed with their respective areas of interest. Sirius had just returned from the kitchen to retrieve another cup of coffee when he noticed one more package under the tree.

"Hey, there's one more package here." He bent down and retrieved it, "Huh, looks like Daggerclaw's writing. Harry, it's addressed to you." He handed it off to Harry who took the package carefully.

"Dear Harry," he began, "Years ago when your Uncle Remus first got our investigation started into Albus' misdeeds, an invisibility cloak was discovered. When I took over as Headmaster, I went through his former office to make sure there wasn't anything dangerous left behind. There was a journal entry that referenced it so I've had the cloak removed from storage and delivered to you. This cloak was found in Albus Dumbledore's office under a rather heavy enchantment and I've already had it checked over for anything illicit, there was a thread that shouldn't have been (I suspect it was put there by Albus) and it was enchanted with a tracking charm. According to the journal entry, he would've wanted to be the one to give it back to you as a way to ingratiate himself in your mind. Enjoy your holidays and I shall see you when you return. Daggerclaw…" Harry untied the bundle and everyone gasped as the fabric poured out like a scintillating cascade.

"Harry, this cloak has been in your family since who knows when," Remus commented as he examined the note for himself, "While it is nice to have something that belonged to your father, I would recommend that you leave it with your aunt and uncle or put it in your vault for safe-keeping." Harry had stood up and draped the cloak over his body causing it to disappear from sight.

"I agree with Remus. You will be handing it over as soon as you're done playing with it tonight," Petunia instructed her nephew. Harry took it off and immediately handed it over.

"It's fine. There's not much I could do with it since I don't plan on pulling any pranks or stuff."

Sirius whined in dismay, "Pup! You're breaking this old dog's heart; no pranks?"

Harry got this sly look on his face, "Padfoot, you misunderstand me. _I_ don't plan on pulling any pranks; I _will_ however be _planning_ the pranks. I'll leave it to whomever I contract with, like the Weasley Twins, to actually execute them."

Remus, Petunia and Vernon rolled their eyes while Sirius barked out laughing, "Ah, Pup! Now _that's_ just like your mother! I… you had me worried, whew!"

"Padfoot, I've been wanting to ask but why is it every time you laugh or make some sort of reference to Harry as 'pup,' I get the impression that you were raised around dogs?" Dudley asked, pausing in his restringing efforts.

Both Remus and Sirius grinned wickedly, "Maybe it's because of my initials? S. O. B; or maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm a dog animagus."

Both Harry and Dudley tilted their heads in confusion so Sirius got to his feet and…changed. Standing before them was this shaggy black-haired, lanky-legged dog. Vernon and the boys yelped and scooted back in their seats. Petunia chuckled, "I take it that this is what you used as reference when you came up with the idea for 'Padfoot'?"

Remus grinned happily, "Yeah, it was."

"Cool! That's awesome! Can you do that, Uncle Moony?" Harry and Dudley exclaimed.

Remus shook his head as Sirius changed back to human form and retook his seat on the chair, "No, I'm not able to become an animagus. The werewolf in me prevents the ability to take form."

* * *

_**Two days later…** _

With the swirl of unimaginable magical energy, a portkey delivered Sirius and Remus along with Fred and George Weasley to the backyard of the Dursleys. Harry was sitting on a chair just inside the enclosed patio sipping on a soft drink. He waved to the arrivals and opened the door, "Welcome all to Casa de Dursley!"

"Harrykins!" Both twins greeted in stereo.

Harry ushered them in and showed them around a muggle kitchen. Fred commented that it didn't differ too much from their mother's.

"Let's face it, aside from a few time-saving devices; a kitchen is just a place to make food. No major explanations are really needed. I mean, you would need to be taught how to light the stove but that takes like ten seconds. I think the most complicated thing in here would have to be the microwave and that's because it has a couple of preset buttons."

From there it was into the living room where Dudley was camped trying out his new guitar strings. A distracted nod in their direction and he went back to what he was doing. When Harry was done showing off the 'fun muggle devices' they headed back into the kitchen where Petunia was putting out snacks.

"Thank you, Mrs. Dursley," Fred said as he reached for a loaded potato slice.

"You're welcome, dear. So? What's on your agenda?"

Remus pulled out a set of ancient looking journals, "These are the journals from Godric Gryffindor I mentioned when we visited the school. I need you to wear these gloves; they'll protect the pages from any oils on your fingers." He passed out the thin cotton gloves to everyone and carefully opened the cover.

"Now, I used a translation spell to change it from the original Germanic languages prevalent in the UK at the time. So, let's see…"

* * *

_**While the Marauder's were entertaining the Weasley Twins at the Dursley's…** _

Hermione was enjoying her Christmas as well. Her parents had gifted her more books as well as a new football. She giggled at the pink and white checkered ball, _'The others at school are going to squeal when I show them this. I might even be able to get a footie club going as an alternative to Quidditch.'_

The day after Christmas, Hermione wrote again to Sally-Anne and wished her new friend a happy Christmas and asked if they could take a trip to Diagon Alley to hang out if it was okay with her parents. The reply back was short and sweet, 'Heck yeah! Let's go!'

Emma Granger took Hermione via the Underground from Surrey to Victoria Station then walked to Sally-Anne's home address. The Perks lived in the working class council housing in Lillington Gardens; their flat was nicely appointed in an eclectic sort of way in a sort of 'whatever was available and easily transported' design and even had a balcony garden. In Sally-Anne's bedroom, the walls were painted a cheery purple with white trim, a basic 'renter's brown' carpet covered the floor with her magical textbooks and cauldron stacked up on a bookcase next to her bed. The girl had boy-band posters hanging on her wall and a collection of stuffed animals on her bed.

After a round of greetings and sharing a quick spot of tea, the Perks and Granger girls took the Tube again to Charing Cross and walked into the Leaky Cauldron pub. Sally-Anne's mother commented how she wished there was another way in that wouldn't require her to use her daughter as some sort of key.

"Excuse me, madam but there is," Tom the bartender interjected, "Sorry but I couldn't help overhear your comment. The other side of Flourish and Blott's is a muggle bookshop, you can enter and leave through there too. Not sure on the particulars, but I'd bet Frank at the bookshop would be able to help you."

"Thank you, sir that helps a lot."

* * *

**Magical Menagerie**

The rowdy calls of the various animals were heard before the shop front was seen. After taking a moment to allow their eyes (and noses) time to adjust to the interior, Hermione led Sally-Anne off to look at the owls and other animals while their mothers stayed back to chat.

Row after row of display cases containing small reptiles, amphibians, and rodents got barely a look in. Sally-Anne and Hermione cooed over the puppies and kittens before winding up in the owl section.

"So how did you find Hedwig?" Sally-Anne asked as she read off the information tag of a particularly handsome Tawny owl.

Hermione giggled, "It was more along the line that she found us. She swooped down from wherever she was perching and settled herself on Harry's shoulder."

Just then they heard a flutter of wings, Sally-Anne let out a short squeak when she saw something flapping its way over to her and landing on her shirt. It was the cutest yet strangest looking bat they'd ever seen. It had giant ears and an elaborate nasal crest. A thick, fluffy mane covered its neck and peered at her with the most adorable green eyes that seemed to twinkle in the light. The body was covered in thick, downy sort of feathers akin to what a penguin sported; the wings were feathered and in a bright multi-colored plumage. The whole creature managed to fit within her hands with only the long-ish tail draped over her wrist.

"Aww! It's so cute!" Sally-Anne whisper-squealed. The creature reached up and booped Sally-Anne's nose with its own.

"Where did it come from?" Hermione wondered. The shopkeeper came around carrying a bag of some kind of wood shavings and spotted the creature hanging off of Sally-Anne's shirt.

"Och…it got out again. I'm sorry miss, let me take that and I'll put it back in its cage."

Sally-Anne looked hurt, "It's not dangerous is it? What is it?"

The shopkeeper shook his head, "It's not dangerous, well maybe to lemon biscuits but no, it's not really dangerous. It's a dragon actually."

" _A dragon?!"_ both girls yelped loudly which caused their mothers to come around to see what the commotion was about.

The keeper nodded as he reached for the dragon who had hidden itself in Sally-Anne's hair (only the tail was sticking out), "Yes, it's a rare breed of dragon that will not get bigger than that of a Rottweiler puppy. Its species is called, 'Aeoptera Micro' or 'Teacup Dragon.'" The keeper gave up trying to grab it.

"What does it eat, besides lemon biscuits?" Hermione asked as she playfully wiggled her finger at the dragon which was now peeking out of Sally-Anne's hair and making little noises.

"They're omnivores though this one seems to have taken a liking to fruits like apples and berries. Here, let me get you the information booklet."

"Sally-Anne, you're not thinking that this…dragon is the pet you want?"

Sally-Anne shrugged, "I'm just curious right now though it is growing on me. It's cute, don't you think?"

Her mum smiled a bit wearily, "Yes, dear. It is cute but what if you get it? Where would we be able to keep it at home or afford whatever foods it eats? What about the medical costs? I seriously doubt there's any veterinarian that is trained to handle dragons."

The shopkeeper came back and handed off the information booklet before returning to his duties.

"Ooh, look at this! It says here that they are 'automimetic' which means they instinctually mimic the intelligence level and habits of those around them."

"So, raise it around cats and begins to respond like a cat?" Sally-Anne theorized, "What else?"

"Umm…If they're raised around people, they'll eventually display human intelligence…cool. Let's see, what else… they have very long, almost perfect memories. They tend to live in one place and can amass decades of historical knowledge, becoming a 'living record' of past events. Their memories are invaluable to historians…if you can figure out a way to communicate with them. They become very attached to their companions. If they've been around someone for an especially long time, they may start to 'remember' events from that person's past as if the events actually happened to them. According to some stories, these dragons have also been able to 'connect' with their companion in a sort of 'low level' telepathy through their companion's dreams."

Sally-Anne was wide-eyed as she raised the dragon up to her eye level, "Are you really telepathic? I have a problem with my head that you might be able to help with. Can you see what I'm thinking?" The dragon reached out and gripped her nose before leaning in and giving Sally-Anne a kiss with an impossibly soft tongue.

"What about medical care? How expensive is that?" Mrs. Perks asked Hermione who looked in the book again.

"Umm…it says that the care is akin to what any ordinary reptile would need."

Sally-Anne looked at her mum with a pleading look. Mrs. Perks sighed, "We'll discuss it with your father when we get home."

* * *

_**Back at the Dursleys…** _

Having finished with the journals; Harry, the twins, Remus and Sirius were discussing what the twins had in mind for a future career. The boys wanted to open up their own joke shop like Zonko's but stock it with things that Zonko's never carried. George brought out their bag which contained a sampling of their products. Sirius was examining one card that had a beaded bracelet tied to it.

"So what's this one do?"

George responded, "That is a daydream charmed bracelet that allows the wearer to pretend that they're in a world of their own making. That there is just a prototype; it's still got a few things we're working on like the sounds of waves crashing. Right now, it's more like large rocks dropping on a metal bin." Sirius put on the bracelet and his eyes glazed over.

Petunia was examining a brown-wrapped toffee rather delicately, "What will this do?"

Fred looked up, "Cause you belch uncontrollably until you eat a green-wrapped toffee." Petunia immediately set down the toffee and shook her head in exasperation.

Remus and Harry were looking at the twins' journal when Sirius came out of his daydream with a snort.

"Boys, that was incredible! Realistic except for the crashing waves problem you mentioned but once you got away from the shoreline, it was rather peaceful. How'd you do this?" George started explaining about the runes embedded within the stones while Fred picked up the narrative on how the potion was created.

Vernon had come home and joined in the conversation, "So what about a back-up plan for employment should the joke shop not happen? Is there anything within the Ministry that's caught your eye?"

Both twins grimaced, "Mum wants us to go into the Ministry like dad. She wants us to get nice boring jobs and settle down."

Remus glanced over at Sirius who nodded once then twitched his head, "Boys, we have a suggestion but it will require some further discussion with your parents and an agreement on your part with a lot of hard work. I would like to suggest that Padfoot and I partially help fund your plans to open this joke shop of yours but only if we can write out a contract that will include requirements such as that you both receive at minimum of Exceeds Expectation grades on your OWLs and NEWTs. The other half of the funding will be from you getting a part-time job in a shop in either Diagon Alley or in Hogsmeade. The details will be figured out when we speak with your parents."

The twins were staring goggle-eyed at their heroes before they dropped to their knees and started chanting, "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"

Harry, Petunia and Vernon burst out laughing at the twins' antics. (In Scotland, Minerva McGonagall suddenly shivered with dread.)

**Recipes:**

Mini Chicken and Leek Pies (Pinterest)

Dessert Pizza (Personal)

Spiced carrot and sweet potato soup (Personal)


	14. A Weasel amongst the pigs, A Snake undone and the Beginning of Something Wonderful

**Chapter 14: A Weasel Amongst The Pigs; A Wraith Undone; and the Beginning of Something Wonderful**

**The Burrow just after Arthur left Headmaster Daggerclaw's office**

Arthur Weasley exited the floo and immediately cast a strong stinging hex at his youngest son, Ronald. The boy yelped in pain and dove behind his mother.

"Arthur! What was that about?" she screeched as she pushed Ronald behind her.

"This pig of our son just caused more embarrassment to our family as well as destroying school property, threatening to hunt down a fellow student with physical harm after striking her in the face and theft of food from another student and a bunch of other things!" Arthur roared as he tried to get in another stinging hex.

"Arthur, it can't be true! It was probably just some silly misunderstanding. Ronnie's a sweet and caring boy who wouldn't hurt a fly!" Molly cried her denial.

"You wouldn't be saying that after the pensieve memory I just witnessed. Ronald, I am so angry with you that I don't want to see your face for the rest of the day. Get your miserable arse to your room and stay there until I call for you!" He thundered and pointed up the stairs. Ron grabbed his trunk and hauled it up the stairs as fast as he could.

* * *

Arthur stormed into the kitchen and just stood at the sink, gripping the counter edge in frustration. He dimly heard Molly poke her head in and just as quickly pull back again. He was in no mood to deal with her mollycoddling of their youngest son. He stared out the window, not really seeing anything until one of their pigs crossed the yard. An idea started to form in his mind, _'If he wants to act and eat like a pig, let him live like one.'_ He opened the back door and strode out into the pig pen. There was a sheltered area plus a small storage shed where they kept the dry feed for the animals. He poked around and thought to himself that there was enough room for a makeshift camp bed and the boy's trunk.

Ten minutes later, he had the Weasley family assembled in the yard. Ginny, their only daughter; looked terrified, Ronald was near the edge of collapse and Molly was wringing her hands, clearly fretting about her babies.

"I have made my decision about your future with this family, Ronald. Seeing as you insist on behaving and eating like a pig; you shall spend the next three months out here sleeping with the rest of the barn animals until you prove to me that you can control yourself. The dry goods shed is large enough for a camp bed and your trunk. You will lose your wand until I decide otherwise; your meals will be left in a bucket on the back porch after the rest of us have eaten. You are forbidden from flying or practicing Quidditch. You will not be allowed to leave the property for any reason unless accompanied by myself. You will have no communication with anyone outside of the family. Everything in your former room will stay where it is and I will be warding it from entry by your mother or your sister so don't bother trying to beg them to get anything for you. You will be required to perform chores around the house to earn the continued privilege of sleeping in the shed. Those chores will be posted on the kitchen door; if you fail in your chores, you will lose the ability to sleep indoors. Do not test me on this Ronald; I've had it with your despicable attitude." With that, he turned and headed back inside. Ginny stared at her brother with tears in her eyes before bolting inside as well. Molly started wailing her anguish and held onto her now crying son.

* * *

Two weeks later, the twins and Percy arrived home to a very tense scene. Their mother had ensconced herself in her kitchen, Ginny was heard doing something up in her room (judging by the squealing and girly chattering, it sounded like their neighbor Luna Lovegood was over for a visit), there was no sign of Ronald and their father had dropped them off before heading to his work shed. Percy peered around the living room taking in the tension before shrugging it off and disappearing to his room.

"Wow, tough room," George commented to Fred who agreed. The two dropped their things off in their room and headed into the kitchen where they found their mother making food.

"Mum."

Molly greeted them wearily, "Oh, hello boys. There's a plate of biscuits on the counter, don't fill up too much; dinner will be ready soon."

"Um, where's Ronnie?" Fred asked carefully.

Molly sniffed sadly and pointed to the pig pen, "Your brother sleeps there now."

* * *

Ronald was currently hard at work digging out the muck in the chicken coop with a shovel, trying to clear it out before dinner time. He was hot and sweaty, dirty from the work and hungry. All he really wanted to do was to get his food and disappear into the shed for the rest of the night. Mucking out the chicken coop was the only thing left to do on his list of chores for today so he hoped that after dinner, he'd have enough light to work on the bulk of his homework. He hoped that the candle stub he'd found would last until he could beg for a new one from his dad. It had only taken only one night sleeping (or trying to) curled up with his thin blanket and wearing all the clothes he owned, huddled up with the other animals hoping to generate enough heat so he wouldn't freeze before he gave up trying to tough out his father's resolve and two days before he'd broken down and started in on his studies; there was literally _nothing_ else to do when he wasn't working.

His days were monotonous; he woke up at dawn, fed and watered the animals before being allowed to have his own breakfast. At first, his mother tried to serve him a hearty breakfast like an ordinary boy but his dad quickly put a stop to that. Now, all he got was a tin of herring, a couple of hard-boiled eggs and leftover toast. Once that was eaten and the trash disposed of, he was back at work usually de-gnoming and weeding the garden, tending to the orchards, collecting the chicken eggs if there were any, milking the cows if they needed it, mucking out the pens and doing the laundry. He'd had the brilliant 'idea' once to secretly try to sneak food from the garden (he got caught and earned a stinging hex to his hands) and even toyed with the idea to kill one of the chickens for a dinner but lost his nerve in the end. It wasn't all bad though; by the end of the first week, he'd managed to earn his first reward; after proving that the yard and pen was to his dad's satisfaction, Ron was gifted with one of his Chudley Cannons Quidditch magazines. Lunches and dinners were basic fare; a sandwich (or two if he was lucky), some kind of fruit and a hunk of cheese. There was even one time his mother managed to slip him a large bowl of beef stew with all the trimmings when Arthur wasn't home by leaving it near the back of the shed. Oh, how he feasted that night!

Ron heard the roar of the engine from his dad's car as it drove up the roadway but ignored it to keep shoveling. He barely glanced up when he heard the gate rattle.

* * *

Fred and George watched their youngest brother with a bit of trepidation as he continued to shovel out the muck with barely any reaction to their presence. Normally, Ronald would've been eager to shirk his duties to go goof off. Now however their youngest brother just kept going, not even stopping long enough to say hello. It was unnerving…

"Um, hi Ron. How are you?"

Ron sighed, "I'm trying to get this done so I can eat and have a dry place to sleep tonight. Can we wait until later before we chat?"

"Sure…we can wait. Do…do you want any help?"

Ron shook his head, "Not allowed. Rules are posted on the kitchen door next to my chores."

The twins turned and looked over the rules and saw how restrictive they were, "Forge, I'm guessing the 'no helping' rule was put in place for our dear mother."

"I agree, Gred. Wow, no Quidditch. That's harsh." George continued to run his finger down the list while Fred examined the chores list which contained nothing really unusual that they hadn't done themselves before.

The two turned back to watch their younger brother for a few minutes. Ronald was busy trying to shoo the chickens away from the area he'd just cleaned.

"How long do you figure before he completely cracks up?"

* * *

That evening, Fred and George stopped by Ron's shed and knocked on the open door. Ron looked up from his umpteenth reading of his magazine and gestured for them to come in.

"I got a couple of buckets for you to sit on if you're not picky," he said as a way of greeting.

George was clearly uncomfortable at the sight of their brother treating this situation as nothing more exciting than a trip to the watering hole, "How have you been doing? Um…You seem to be settling in pretty good?"

Ron resignedly shrugged his shoulders, "Better than sleeping with the animals, I guess. Who knew that the pigs snore? It's not all that bad in here. I don't have to listen to the ghoul above me, and the garden gnomes leave me alone. I'm even getting all of my homework done!"

"Any word on when dad might let you back in the house?"

Ron slowly shook his head, "No… I doubt it will be before you leave to go back to school."

"Is there anything we could slip you?"

Ron looked panicky a bit. He worriedly glanced out the door, listening hard to hear if their father was anywhere nearby and whispered, "Could you get me some more candles? My current one is just a stub and probably won't last more than another evening."

The twins agreed and after a bit more awkward conversation about what happened at school after he'd left, bade him goodnight.

* * *

The twins came through and brought Ron a handful of candles they'd pinched off from who knew where. Ron showed them the secret space under a loose floorboard where it butted up against the wall near the head of his cot that he kept his prized possessions in. Inside was the stub of a candle, a box of matchsticks, his Quidditch magazine and a thick blanket Molly managed to get to him.

"So what do you do for heat?" Fred inquired after handing over the candles.

Ron silently slipped the candles into his hiding space then settled back down on his cot, "Usually I just wrap myself up in my blanket but if I get particularly lucky, I'll start a small fire in that metal bucket there. I figured out how to use the matchsticks I found in dad's work shed to create fire and burn the bits of wood that fall off the trees."

"Why do you hide that stuff under there when you have your trunk?" George asked.

"Dad goes through it at random times ever since I tried to steal vegetables from the garden and hide them in there."

* * *

When the twins went back in the house, they found their dad sitting at the kitchen table sipping a cup of tea with an odd look on his face, "Have a good time out there?"

"Uhh…yeah, it was…nice…" George stammered lamely.

"Have a seat, you two. I'm not angry that you snuck the candles out to Ron. I'd be surprised if you hadn't." The look of surprise on their faces caused Arthur to chuckle, "Ron thinks I don't know what goes on out there? I have a listening and monitoring charm on the inside of the shed plus I installed a ward that keeps out the worst of the cold weather, the temperature is set to about 10 C. I'm not so callous as to leave him completely unprotected. I know about his 'secret stash' and his meetings with his mother to get food or supplies. I'm just waiting for him to finally realize just how good he's had it and apologize honestly from the heart that he'd made a mistake and will learn from it."

Both boys wilted in their seats from relief, "We thought you had gone Dark or something. Ronnie thinks that this is going to be permanent and is starting to think long term about rearranging things in his trunk to store food for later."

Arthur hummed at that, "Then I'll have to hint to your mother what Ron needs to do to rectify things. Please don't say anything, alright?" The twins agreed.

"What's going on with Ginny? Has she said anything about what's going on?" Fred asked quietly.

Arthur sipped at his cup of tea, "I've had to explain the circumstances to her but I think she'll be fine. Any time the mood gets too tense around here, I suggested that she go spend the night with her friend Luna."

* * *

When Arthur took the twins and Percy back to King's Cross at the start of the new term, Ronald watched wistfully from his shed. It had been raining hard enough that Arthur had given him the day off from his chores. Thankful for the reprieve, Ronald decided that he'd go down to the pond to take a bath. The water was near freezing but it was better than whatever drained off the shed's roof (it had a weird smell to it.) He trudged back to the shed and dried himself off with one of his towels he'd recently washed, put away the tiny cake of soap before he slipped on his clean clothes and settled down on his cot, retrieving his treasured Cannons magazine from a converted box nightstand and pulled his 'illicitly gained' blanket up over himself. He glanced over and smiled proudly at the small bowl of fruit he'd earned earlier in the day for getting the gnomes cleared out in record time and selected an apple to munch on.

He'd noticed the early morning arrival of two men two days after Christmas. He remembered that day quite clearly because he'd gotten a temporary reprieve of being allowed to visit with his mum and sister for the day though he still wasn't allowed inside the house. They'd apparently come for the twins then returned with them at the end of the day to speak with his parents. (Whatever the topic of conversation was, the twins were ecstatic and mum and dad were proud.) It made him sad to realize that he wasn't going to be making them proud.

After a month of no one besides the twins to really talk to since Ginny and Percy wanted nothing to do with him (the occasional garden gnome who managed to find its way into the shed didn't count), he was ready and willing to accept whatever requirements the school and his father had for him just so he could get back inside.

* * *

**Malfoy Manor**

Lucius was confused, not a state he enjoyed one little bit. He was Lord of his Manor, everything reported to him yet there was just something that seemed a bit…off today. The wards weren't reporting an attack of any kind, there weren't any owl deliveries and Narcissa was currently visiting friends. The manor was quiet, a little too quiet… Then it dawned on him, he'd not heard from Draco in a while.

"Dobby!"

There was a _pop_ and a diminutive creature appeared before him, its tea towel 'uniform' was splattered with stains of who knew what, "Yes, Master?"

"Where is Draco?" Dobby cowered a bit.

"Master Draco is being in the kitchen."

"The _kitchen?_ Why… Fine, you may go Dobby." Dobby popped away.

It took Lucius a few minutes to remember where the kitchens were and how to get down to them. When he did enter the correct room, he spotted the heir of his family name standing before a counter wearing an apron and bent over examining a book while holding some kind of cooking utensil. The counter was covered in spilled flour and there was an eggshell on the floor.

"Draco?"

Draco glanced back to where his father stood perplexed at his son's activities, "Father?"

"What are you doing?"

"Baking…or at least attempting to bake."

Lucius approached the counter and peered at the page that Draco was examining, "Does this have something to do with that demonstration that Potter put on?" Draco nodded then reached for a small bottle.

"Yes, sir. I wanted to try my hand at baking as well mostly to see if it was as easy as he made it appear."

Lucius dropped his head a bit, "And what are the results of your investigation?"

Draco mumbled something then straightened, "Um, haven't finished yet. I'll let you know."

Curiosity finally got the better of Lucius, "What is it that you're trying to make?"

Pointing to the title of the recipe with his spoon, Draco replied, "Chocolate chip biscuits. I think I have it ready to be scooped onto the baking sheet."

Lucius sighed, _'This is not what I had in mind for my son and heir when I suggested that he take an interest in a hobby.'_

* * *

**Granger Residence**

The phone rang in the Granger residence prompting a mad scramble of bodies to answer it. Hermione slid underneath her father's outstretched arms and yanked the receiver off the hook, "Ha! Gotcha! Hello?"

"Hermione! It's Sally-Anne. What was _that_ all about?"

Hermione giggled, "Old family tradition. Whoever answers the phone first gets bragging rights for being the quickest." Sally-Anne laughed in response.

"Mine has a tradition to see who could clean their rooms the fastest. Guess what? I got the dragon!"

Hermione squealed in happiness for her friend, "That's wonderful! Have you chosen a name?"

"Uh-huh! It's a boy and so I chose the name of Paidin."

"Why that name?" Hermione asked.

"It sounds like something you'd find in a fantasy book and he seems to like it. Paidin the Lemon Biscuit Snatching Dragon."

Both girls erupted in uncontrollable laughter.

"So how have you been, Sally-Anne?" Hermione asked when they recovered from laughing.

"Not too good. I had an episode last night. I was sitting with my mum and dad watching the telly, Paidin was nestled on my chest when I thought I heard voices behind me. They…well, what they were saying isn't important but what Paidin did was. He linked into my mind! I could hear him speaking to me just as clearly as I hear you now. He was looking right into my eyes and he soothed my hallucinations down to where they went away! Mum and dad are thrilled."

Hermione gasped, "Oh, Sally-Anne that's wonderful to hear! Not about the hallucinations but that Paidin could help you. So what does his voice sound like?"

Sally-Anne giggled, "Like Yoda from Star Wars." She affected the weird speaking mannerisms, "Help you, I can. Yes…"

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!"

Hermione's giggles rang out through the house. In the kitchen, Dan and Emma smiled happily that their daughter found a female friend to be girly with.

* * *

**Department of Mysteries, Director Croaker's Office**

Croaker leant back in his seat and covered his eyes with a hand and grumbled quietly. The experiments to see if they could separate Quirnius Quirrell from the wraith-like embodiment of Lord Voldemort had hit yet another snag. The parasitic spirit shard of the Dark Lord just _did not_ want to give up its host! The Unspeakables assigned to the task had tried everything they could think of but to no avail. A couple of the team members finally threw their hands up in disgust and suggested they just label the experiment a failure and chuck the host and parasite into the Veil of Death and be done with it.

He'd vetoed that idea; there was always something else that could be attempted though right now he was getting close to capitulating. The latest attempt involved causing the host's heart to stop; effectively rendering the man dead in hopes that the spirit would leave the corpse for a new living host. Nope, didn't work. The wraith just stayed within the head of Quirrell, patiently waiting until they revived the man.

 _Knock, knock!_ "Come in!"

The door opened to reveal his second in command, Talon, "You got something?"

Talon shook their head. Even within the confines of his office, Talon never revealed their face, "No, unfortunately. Boss? Why don't we just encase the pair in amber and ship it off downstairs?"

Croaker sighed and reached for his bottle of chilled water and took a long drag, "Yeah, I hoped it wouldn't come to that so soon. What about getting more information out of the wraith first? Has it told us any more about the Horcruxes?"

Talon consulted his notepad, "It's told us about the ring in his mother's childhood home, the diary is with the Malfoy's and the Diadem has been retrieved from Hogwarts. Incidentally, the room that the Diadem was found in needs to be examined further. New information shared seems like that the Hufflepuff chalice is located with the LeStranges somewhere, most likely in their vault. That's a total of four so far."

"Okay, keep going. Use the Analyzer if you have to get anything more out of the damn thing."

Talon bowed their head and left.

His intercom buzzed, "Yes?"

"Director Bones is requesting to see you."

"I'll be right there."

* * *

**Director Bones' Office, Department of Magical Law Enforcement**

"Amelia? You wanted to see me?"

Amelia looked up from her never-ending stack of paperwork, "Yes, Croaker, come in. I wanted to let you know that Albus won't be standing trial for his crimes. The Healers taking care of him report that he's not competent enough to withstand the rigors of a trial."

Croaker grumbled, "So what happens now?"

Amelia grinned sardonically, "Just because he's not fit to stand trial doesn't mean he's completely invalid. That just means we get to bind his magic down to Squib level, obliviate his memories of being a wizard and dump him in the muggle world somewhere."

Croaker winced, "Ouch. To go from the exalted position of Supreme Mugwump to the ignominy of muggle life. Shame that we can't leave just a bit of his memories intact to let him know that he's lost something big but just can't figure out what."

Amelia's grin was shark-like, "I'm sure the techs could figure something out. As it happens, I've already found a position in the muggle world for him. I reached out to my counterpart in the American DMLE and they have a program for senior citizens to help them transition from a full-time active lifestyle into retirement. They say that Albus can keep his original name but that his age will be reduced to a more believable number like seventy instead of the hundred and twenty or whatever he is now."

"Oh? Do you know what they'll have him doing?"

Amelia flipped through her piles and pulled out a blue folder and scanned through it, "Yes, here. He'll be a door greeter for a muggle company called Wal-mart somewhere in the state of Florida." Again she was giving that shark-like grin.

"Amelia? What's with the grin?"

"Florida's weather is hot, humid and not at all what someone like Albus would be used to. He'll most likely die of heat exhaustion within the first month."

Croaker rolled his eyes as he got up, "Amelia, I think you need a vacation."

* * *

_**A couple of weeks later…** _

Albus Dumbledore woke up after yet another weird dream. This was the third time he'd dreamt that he had been some great leader or something in a far-flung country. He shrugged it off and got out of bed to begin getting ready for the day. Today was something special after all; he was starting a new job after so many years of languishing and bouncing off the walls in that retirement home. _'It wasn't all bad. My accent made me popular with the ladies...'_ After showering and trimming his beard, he got dressed in the uniform provided by the staffing agency. He chuckled at the bright colors of his uniform, the blue was a touch harsh on his eyes but he figured he'd get used to it. He lined up on the footpath, _'er…no, they call it a sidewalk here_ ' after breakfast with a couple of the others. There was a shuttle service from the retirement home to his new job as a freshly hired senior citizen door greeter for Wal-mart in the great sunny state of Florida. The moment he stepped outside he started to perspire; it wasn't surprising given the local climate and the fact that he was more used to the temperate climate of his homeland of London, England. After getting off the shuttle, he was escorted by another employee to the break room where he was introduced to the duty supervisor.

Albus was checking over his appearance in the floor length mirror attached to the door. He smoothed down his blue vest and made sure that his name plate was on correctly. He turned his head to see if there were any visible straggly hairs from his short beard but didn't see anything amiss. _'Well, there's nothing amiss with my appearance at least. I still have that nagging feeling that I was someone important though. Oh, well it'll come to me eventually.'_

"Albus? You ready?" his supervisor called to him. He smiled genially at the woman.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm ready."

* * *

**Department of Mysteries, in an area known as the 'Magical Deep'**

Director Croaker watched as Quirnius Quirrell and his parasitic 'guest' were floated to a chamber within an industrial containment facility. There was an incredible amount of noise, smoke, gasses being exhausted and the sounds of liquids and other materials best left undescribed. The techs were dressed in reflective suits commonly found in blast furnace smelters with their total bodies including their faces covered. Air tubes ran from their masks to backpack mounted air filters. Because of all the noise, they communicated via hand signals.

'Quirrellmort' as the former professor had been labeled was loaded into a canister just barely wider than the man's shoulders and about a foot longer than he was; the lid locked down into place. It looked like some kind of biopod one would find in a science fiction fandom. Internally, Croaker would agree though the process of creating the hibernation process was closer to that movie thing he'd seen back in the eighties. _'What was it called? Star…something. Whatever_.' He'd come back from that showing with a host of wonderful experimental ideas. Some of which were being used this very moment…

There was a screech of some kind of super-cooled liquid through chilled tubes. The occupied canister was rapidly filled with a slightly glowing red liquid then with throw of a lever, the canister and its occupant was flash frozen. There was a sudden silence as the canister was raised up out of its cradle and checked over by the techs. A slowly blinking green light must have indicated something favorable to them as one of them used a crane to move it to a conveyor belt.

In stark comparison to the hibernation facility several stories above his head, the 'Magical Deep' was silent as a tomb. It was entered through the one door that was always kept locked and warded via the rotating entry chamber. Croaker always got a good chuckle out of those who thought they were studying the effects of love behind that door. _'If only they knew…'_

Croaker slowly walked along the aisles of hibernating monsters and indescribable eldritch horrors. The newest occupant had just been installed between a strange aquatic creature their teams had uncovered in the Arctic ice and something the size of a large bear that resembled a cross between the lower half of a shaved rabbit and the tentacles of a Giant Squid. Croaker leant in closer to peer at the identification card, _'Cuddlepus…discovered in the desert mountains of Afghanistan, June 1969. Ambush predator; killed and consumed three members of the containment team before finally captured. Team Leader rendered disassociated from reality after contact with slime oozed by the creature's mouth. Creature is extremely hostile, DO NOT REANIMATE!'_

His footsteps echoed off the walls as he made his way back to his office.

* * *

**Hogwarts Express, steaming north to begin the new semester**

Harry was busy catching up with his friends just as Hermione was catching up with hers. Neville came in a while later and dropped down next to her, a smile growing on his face.

"Nev? What's with the smile?"

"I was just thinking back to the most wonderful gift _someone_ sent to me for Yule. It's a beautiful plant that starts singing when it's around happy people. I wonder who could've sent it to me?" He glanced exaggeratedly over at Harry who laughed and playfully shoved his friend's shoulder, "You're welcome, you goof."

"So how were your holidays, Harry?"

"Pretty good, actually. Uncles Sirius and Remus came by to exchange gifts. The Weasley Twins came by a couple of days later too. They demonstrated some of their products and would you believe it; Padfoot and Moony are going to be helping them develop their business plans!"

Neville was incredulous, "You mean that joke shop they're always talking about?"

"Yep, apparently the twins have been developing a lot of stuff for years. Some of their trick sweets and daydream bracelets can't be found anywhere else in the world, so they say."

"What sort of education requirements will Moony and Padfoot have the twins fulfill?" Hermione butted in curiously, "I mean, I can't see them just investing in something this risky without requirements of their own."

"Um, they have to get Exceeds Expectations on their OWLs and NEWTs at a minimum and hold a part-time job for a while until the joke shop hopefully takes off."

"Well, congratulations to them," Neville responded, "do you know where they're sitting so I can go wish them well in person?"

Harry shrugged, "I haven't moved from this spot since we got started, sorry."

* * *

The twins were found by the simple expedient of seeing them passing by the compartment a short while later. Hermione stuck her head out the door and yelled at them to come on in. Congratulations were offered and accepted.

"So, Fred…how are things…at home, I mean."

"You mean with Ronnie? He's got his good days and bad days; fortunately they're mostly good days. He's reached the point where you can tell he's just about ready to apologize and make amends; he just doesn't know how to say the words."

Hermione frowned, "How hard can it be to say, 'I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?'"

George shrugged with his hands, "Ronnie's not the most eloquent of the family. I think dad can see it in his eyes but he's still got two months left to go on his suspension so even if he did win dad over, he wouldn't be able to come back to school."

"Would the school have to re-sort him or would they hold him back to try again next year?"

George hummed, "If I were in dad's shoes, I would hold Ronnie back until September and try again. This year was obviously too much for him and he lashed out." He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, "But I dunno what dad's going to do."

* * *

**Great Hall, Welcoming Feast**

The Great Hall was loud and rowdy as everyone was trying to find their friends or classmates. Harry found a spot relatively close to the front and sat down. Hermione plopped down next to him on his left with Neville on his right. He looked up at the Head Table and spotted Daggerclaw watching the proceedings.

Finally, Daggerclaw got up and welcomed everyone back to the school, "I do have one other announcement then we can get on with the Feast. Back in September of last year, Miss Hermione Granger of Hufflepuff along with our caretaker Argus Filch; discovered a remarkable set of rooms hidden away on the right hand side of the third floor corridor. These rooms eventually revealed themselves to be a grand ballroom, exercise rooms and a Roman-style pool and sauna. Tomorrow, we will be hosting a Grand Opening of the new facilities. Morning classes shall be canceled so that we can greet our guests. Those guests shall include the Minister for Magic, several members of the Wizengamot and other dignitaries so we expect you to be on your best behavior. We will have more information available come morning so in the meantime, let the Feast begin!"

The groaning of the tables signaled the sudden appearance of the heavily-laden platters of food.

* * *

**Friday 3 January, 1992 Great Hall**

The whole school woke up nearly at the same time and arrived in the Great Hall for breakfast on time and whatever final announcements Headmaster Daggerclaw had for them. Harry was digging into his selection of bangers and mash topped with freshly sliced avocado, shredded cheese and grilled onions. Hermione had filled a bowl with porridge and cream topped with blueberries and apple chunks. Neville had gone for a more eclectic breakfast of grilled tomato, sautéed mushrooms, beans, eggs and bacon. He added a cup of seasonal fruits and berries to round out the heavier elements.

Once everyone had eaten, the students turned to face the High Table where Daggerclaw had stood on the small platform built for him and Flitwick.

"Good morning, everyone! As I mentioned last night, today we will be hosting several prominent members of the Ministry, the press and the Wizengamot. They are here because of the discovery and subsequent refurbishment of the third floor socialization and entertainment center. Yes, it's a bit of a mouthful; I wouldn't be surprised if some of you come up with a better way to describe it. If you do, please let me know." The doors to the Great Hall opened and a stream of adults walked in.

"Ah, our guests have arrived! Ladies and gentlemen, please have a seat and we'll begin the presentation."

* * *

_**A half hour later…** _

The presentation proceeded with the introduction of Argus Filch and Hermione Granger to the assembled guests. It was a source of great surprise to many to find out that Argus Filch held a Masters degree in Art History from Aberdeen University and had traveled to many of the world's historical sites as well as being part of a student work-study program to investigate and restore or repair priceless works of art in Naples, Italy. Hermione's credentials weren't as spectacular as Argus' but she was credited with being scouted by her House Quidditch team and also beginning a study group consisting of all four Houses in an effort to bring down the enmity of those from noble births towards those of the non-magical world.

Once that was done with, Argus was given the leave to lead the assembly to the third floor. As they were walking, Hermione spotted her parents amongst the guests and nearly burst with excitement. She dashed into the crowd and pulled them to the front so she could hold their hands. As they were climbing the stairs, one reporter commented that he was surprised that the staircases weren't changing as they were normally wont to do.

"Down at the base of the stairs, there's a statue holding its hand out. To return the stairs to their starting points, you must shake its hand and say, 'Mission Accomplished;' then to lock them into position, there's a brick next to the statue that needs to be pressed," Argus calmly explained.

Fred poked Harry, "I thought only Moony and Padfoot knew that?"

Harry rolled his eyes and looked at him like he'd grown a second head, "Fred, I'm not surprised that he knows that. He probably has a cheat sheet in his files. Honestly…"

A tap on Harry's other shoulder caused him to turn around; he nearly stumbled in shock when he saw that it was his aunt and uncle standing there! "Aunt Petunia! Uncle Vernon! Wow, you got invited too?"

Petunia drew her nephew in for a hug, "Yes, Daggerclaw thought that we should see the castle as well since he was already bringing in Dan and Emma Granger. Who are we to pass up such a wonderful opportunity?"

* * *

There were gasps of surprise at the sheer opulence of the Grand Foyer and Ballroom. Lady Malfoy was heard to exclaim that she couldn't wait until the first society ball was held and wondered who it was that would be in charge of organizing it. Millie finally got her chance to see the weightlifting room in all its glory. She traced her fingers over the matte black free weights and roved over the machines with glittery eyes. The animated exercise form charts demonstrated the proper method to achieve a good workout caught her eye and made her practically drool with anticipation. She had to be physically dragged out of the room by Tracy and Pansy with promises that she could come back when all the excitement and crowds died down.

The best highlight in Harry's mind was seeing a lazy river meandering off from the Roman-style pool and lounge area. He reached in and tested the waters; the water was pleasantly cool to the touch with a slight current to the river. The river had trees and fragrant bushes lining the spillway, a slight breeze tickled his hair. He heard the chirping of birds and when he looked up, he could see clouds scudding across the enchanted ceiling.

He slid up alongside Hermione who was standing there basking in the glory of being a co-discoverer, "Hermione, have you seen the lazy river section? I can't wait to go tubing down the river after class!" The group was shown where the supplies and equipment were stored and got a chance to look over the rules regarding usage of the facilities. It was made patently clear that any sort of horseplay or dangerous activities would result in at least a week long suspension and a severe loss of House points.

After all the questions were asked and photos were taken, the guests slowly trickled out the door. Minister Fudge came up to Harry and asked him if he'd put anything together for a banquet but Harry apologized and said that he didn't even know that this was going to be happening so there wasn't any time to plan for anything. Fudge looked disappointed but clapped him on the shoulder then asked when his next demonstration was going to happen.

Harry shrugged, "Not for a while. My classes are starting to pick up and I don't always have the time to even plan out a simple snack. I'm sure that the elves would be more than happy to assist you though. They have copies of my cookbooks and idea notebooks, you see."

"Ah, that's a shame. Well, nothing for it I guess. Oh, I did contact the Wizarding Board of Education about the possibility of getting a professional chef instructor to work in the school. They said they'll look into it."

Harry smiled pleasantly, "Thank you, Minister. I hope it works out."

* * *

Because Petunia, Vernon as well as Dan and Emma had their own portkey; Harry and Hermione invited them to see more of the school. This wasn't the first time that the Grangers had been there so for them, it was their choice to go visit the Library they'd heard so much about. Minerva appeared and after greeting the Dursleys, suggested that Petunia visit Gryffindor Tower where her sister had spent her seven years in. Petunia was brought to tears after the guardian portrait for the tower swung open and she stepped over the ledge and into the common room. There were still a couple of older students seated at a couple of tables, studying intently for their upcoming tests and whatnot.

Vernon was impressed by how opulent and regal it all appeared to be, "It's almost like walking into one of those king's sitting rooms you'd find at the museums."

Peeves made an unexpected visit to the tower; normally he didn't enter the House Common Rooms or dorms for personal reasons. This time however, he floated up to Petunia and bowed deeply before her.

"Welcome to Gryffindor Tower, Mrs. Dursley. My name is Peeves and I had the pleasure of knowing your sister during her education here at Hogwarts. You may not be aware of it but your sister spoke of you often and shared several pictures of the two of you during your childhood. When we here at the castle learned of her murder, we were saddened greatly. You have my and all those who haunt these castle walls deepest condolences."

Petunia smiled through her tears and whispered, "Thank you, Peeves."

Peeves turned and floated over to a landscape painting of water lilies and swung it open by the frame. He reached into a previously hidden cache and removed a wrapped package before closing the painting. Peeves floated back and handed the package to Petunia. Petunia was staring at the painting behind him, "Isn't that one of Monet's paintings of water lilies?"

Peeves glanced back and smiled, "Yes, it is. Mr. Monet painted it himself for your sister upon her graduation from the school."

Vernon was puzzled, "But Monet died years before Lily would've been born!"

Peeves nodded solemnly, "True but he likes to visit every now and again. Anyways, that package I've given you is your sister's private journal of her time here at the castle. She would've wanted you to have it." He bowed once more and disappeared.

Minerva was surprised by Peeves' behavior. It was completely out of character for the poltergeist to behave himself in the presence of others, "That was…unusual."

Vernon turned to her, "How so?"

"Peeves is the resident poltergeist and is normally an incredibly chaotic entity. He's usually known for causing mischief and pranks to the staff and students."

Petunia sniffed, "I remember reading about the kindness that Lily gave to him. She always treated him with respect and never tried to treat him as if he were less than she was. I guess that's rather rare and it resonated with him."

* * *

**Great Library**

The library was peaceful. The students who graced the aisles looking for the books needed to do research or homework were quiet and respectful. A family of three was camped out in one of the elegant study areas with the leather couches and deep wingback armchairs that invited one to spend hours while in deep contemplation. This is where Peeves found them…

"Mr. Granger, it is a pleasure to see you again."

Dan looked up in surprise, "Ah, yes. Peeves, was it?"

Peeves smiled, "Yes, sir. If you'd permit me sir, I have something I'd like to share with you? I took it upon myself to do a bit of research since you reminded me of someone from long ago."

Dan gestured for the poltergeist to continue. Peeves unrolled a scroll onto the table and secured the corners, "This is the known history of the Granger family starting with your daughter here all the way back to the distant past. You have a magical great-uncle by the name of Hector Dagworth-Granger who was the Head of the Noble House of Dagworth-Granger. Prior to him is someone which you had reminded me of." His finger pointed to a name that shocked all three to their very core.

Dan blinked as he breathed out the name of their ancestor, "Princess Sophia…"

**No recipes this chapter, sorry.**


	15. I don't remember serving toad...

**Chapter 15: I don't remember serving toad…**

**Great Library, same time**

Hermione peered around her father's hand to the scroll containing their family tree, "Daddy?"

Dan Granger blinked owlishly, "Baby, I think…if this is correct, then we're descended from royalty." He sat down heavily in a chair and just stared out at nothing. Emma picked up the scroll to examine closer.

"So I could be a princess too?" Hermione asked in a small voice.

Emma smiled consolingly at the hopeful look on her face and brushed her daughter's hair with her hand, "It's doubtful, sweetie. If anything, you would be too far down on the list to even bother with a title. Just knowing and being able to reference it should be enough of an honor."

"So how did this child of royalty become recognized in the magical world?" Hermione pressed.

"If the child were magical, he or she would've received an invitation to come study here at Hogwarts. I imagine the same holds true for you, my dear," Peeves replied with thin smile, "It should be noted that even though the child was royalty, he still would've been classed as a muggleborn and unfortunately seen as 'less' than the pureblood aristocrats. I vaguely remember him, which is why when I saw your father; I thought he and therefore you must've been related. Princess Sophia's son, Thomas was sorted into Slytherin House in September of 1811. If there were any honors or what he did after graduating, I'm afraid I don't have that knowledge."

Dan returned from his introspection, "Peeves? Potential royalty aside, this Hector Dagworth-Granger; he sounds like he'd be an important figure in this world?"

Peeves bowed his head, "Yes, sir. In the magical world, he would've be the equivalent of a Lord. There are no ranks above that really. We do not have our own king or queen, prince or princesses. If he were attending the Wizengamot session, he would be addressed as Lord Hector Dagworth-Granger, Head of Dagworth-Granger."

"What did he do to achieve this title?"

Peeves took the scroll back from Emma and looked up the information, "According to this, he founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers and made multiple notable contributions to the advancement and efficacy of then current potions as well as creating new ones." He handed the scroll back to Dan who took it with shaky hands, "If I may sir, I would suggest you contact the Goblins of Gringotts and request they run a Line of Inheritance Test on your daughter. That would clear up any confusion as to the validity of this scroll."

Dan slowly nodded his head in thought, "Thank you, Peeves. I think we'll do that."

Peeves bowed and departed.

* * *

**February**

It was a blustery, chilly day on 4 February 1992 when the floo in Daggerclaw's office flared green and two people, one adult and one child, stepped out and cleaned the soot from their clothes. Of the two, it was the child who was the most nervous for being there today. Ronald Weasley was going to be appearing in front of the review board to see if he could convince them to allow him to return to school that year, start fresh in September or never return at all.

Daggerclaw nodded once towards the Weasley Head and youngest son, "Shall we? The Board is meeting in the conference room." He waved both towards the door. As they walked, Daggerclaw observed the boy in question. He seemed quiet and subdued; completely unlike he was before his suspension. His clothes were cleaned and pressed, his shoes polished. He nervously picked at his cuffs, but that was understandable.

After entering the conference room and getting settled, a tray of sweets were pushed closer to the Weasleys, easily within reach of Ronald. Ron saw the tray slide over and began to sweat a bit. He purposively sat on his hands and focused on the portrait across the room to keep himself from being tempted. He never noticed a nod of approval from his dad or from Daggerclaw.

A knock on the table by the Inquiry Head, Madam Griselda Marchbanks, quieted the others, "Alright, let's begin shall we? This meeting is to determine the status of Ronald Bilius Weasley and his eligibility to return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on this day of four February nineteen ninety-two." Lady Marchbanks then proceeded to read off the infractions and charges leveled against Ron.

"Mr. Weasley, do you have anything to open with?"

Ron looked over at his dad who gave a half smirk, "She's talking to you Ron." He started a bit then turned to face the Head, "Um… n,n, no…"

"Very well. Rather than try to hear from young Mr. Weasley as to what his punishment at home entailed, we shall be using his memories. Is the pensieve ready, Headmaster?"

Daggerclaw slid the ancient pensieve onto the table, "It's ready, Madam Marchbanks." Daggerclaw reached over and instructed Ron to think about what his life was like from that first day all the way to this morning. With a finger, he withdrew a silvery, glowing strand of light from the side of Ron's temple then dropped it into the bowl. The Board then dropped in a finger each, "We are ready." Daggerclaw activated a rune on the side of the bowl which caused their eyes to glaze over.

Ron looked puzzled, "What are they doing?"

Arthur pointed at the bowl, "The rune inscribed bowl is replaying your memories of what you went through for the past three months."

Ron's eyes widened, "Wicked."

* * *

_**In Ronald's memories, Month 1…** _

_They witnessed the hardship of the new reality that Ronald had to endure in order to earn a dry and sheltered place in the dry goods shed. They witnessed his trials that first week when after just one day of stubbornness; Ronald had to sleep with the animals while wearing all the clothes he owned just to stay warm. From there it was endless hours spent in hard, manual labor cleaning out the various animal pens, feeding and care for the various farm animals as well as the tending to the family garden and orchard. They saw Ronald try to adjust to this new life with its restrictions on who was able to help him and how he would be rewarded or punished further. They saw that he had both good days and bad ones. The good days saw him rewarded with higher quality and quantity of food, entertainment from his magazine collection or materials for sleeping like a better bed, blankets and a heater. The bad days saw him losing random items depending on the severity of his failure to complete tasks._

_One thing they noted (and were pleased with), Arthur Weasley_ _never_ _punished his son to an extreme. Physical punishments were limited to a light stinging hex on the boy's hands after he was caught attempting to steal vegetables from the family garden._

_**Month 2…** _

_During this period, the board saw Ronald undertake the need to stay current on his school work regardless of how difficult it was. They saw him consult with his older brothers when they came home from school for the holidays and apply that learned knowledge to the assignments. They noted that Ronald never used his wand (it had been taken away from him) but as far as they could tell, his time spent on theory was producing good results. They saw him start to make plans for a long term stay within the shed including figuring out how to build shelving and storage for his clothes, entertainment and food. His mood swings and belligerent behavior had reduced to the point where small inconveniences no longer bothered him._

_Ronald was seen being given greater amounts of free time during this month as well for good behavior. He had earned the right to take meals inside the house with the remainder of the family but was still barred from his room. He was still required to tend to his chores as they were posted but they weren't as strenuous as they first were._

* * *

When the 'lights came on' in the eyes of the review board members, a couple of them shifted uncomfortably in their seats and readjusted their robes. In the time that they had been in the memories, the sweets tray remained untouched to their surprise.

"Mr. Weasley, after our examination of your punishment, the board feels that you have earned the right to decide whether or not you wish to return now, restart in September or if you so desire, begin homeschooling. We acknowledge that it has only been two months of your three month suspension but feel that it has been going on long enough for you to make a decision. What do you wish to do?"

Ron looked down at his hands and thought about the question, "Um, I'd like to return. Being at home used to be fun but I don't want to repeat the past two months."

"Do you wish to return now or in September?"

Ron took and let out a deep breath, "Now. I want to come back now."

"Mr. Weasley, Senior? What are your feelings on this matter? Do you feel that your son has learned his lesson?"

Arthur glanced at his son who sat there nervously picking at his fingers and staring down at his lap, "I do, Madam Marchbanks. It's taken a lot of blood, sweat and tears but I think he's finally starting to understand that things could've been a lot worse. Had I felt the need, I could've disowned him entirely. I'll admit that in my early anger, I had considered it but I wanted to give him a chance to redeem himself…which he has done." Ronald looked up at his dad with tears in his eyes.

Madam Marchbanks made a note of that on her records, "Then you shall return but be under a probation period of one month. If at any time during that month you relapse, you shall be expelled with no possibility of return. If that is all?" She glanced at the others then knocked on the table, "This meeting is adjourned."

* * *

Ron was ecstatic about getting to come back to the castle, he even jumped up and whooped with joy then immediately blushed and bowed his head in embarrassment. Arthur clapped him on the shoulder and smiled warmly at him.

"What do you say if we headed home to pack your trunk?" Ron nodded rapidly and followed his dad out the door. They arrived home and gave his mother and sister the good news then got permission to go pack. He raced out the door to his shed as fast as he could without being too careless and burst into his room. He dragged his trunk to the middle of his room and began pulling out his clothes and gear from all the places he'd stashed them then slammed the lid down and grabbed the handles to drag it back to the living room in record time. His parents were standing by the floo, amused by his enthusiasm. (His sister had already disappeared into her room.)

Once back in Daggerclaw's office, Arthur pulled Ron's wand out of his pocket and presented to him, "Remember Ron, you have one last chance to prove to me, the headmaster and to everyone else that you've changed."

Ron took his wand and smiled, _'I'm back!'_

* * *

**Slytherin Common Room**

Ronald and his father entered the common room and received a rather frosty audience. Everyone was either standing with their arms crossed or seated on the couches and chairs. No one appeared to be very welcoming of his return. Ron's face fell but he understood; he'd greatly embarrassed the honor of Slytherin as well as threatened the well being of one of their own. Severus stepped up and sneered at the red-haired boy, "Mr. Weasley…how _nice_ of you to return. Your room assignment has been changed seeing as how no one wants to be in the same room as you." He thrust out a slip of parchment into Ron's hand, "Make no mistake, if it were up to me you would never have been allowed to return." He turned and strode off.

Arthur silently took his son to his new room assignment. It was barely bigger than a storage closet really but definitely bigger than the shed back home. Ron peered around at the bare, roughly finished walls and let out a silent sigh.

* * *

**Third Floor Weightlifting Room, that same morning**

Millicent Bulstrode was staring intently at the animated exercise charts determined to learn how to use these free-weights and machines even if it killed her. _'Well, the free-weights are easy to figure out, duh. It's the machines that are confusing.'_ She watched as the chart's female demonstrated the proper method and speed for a bicep curl. She picked out a four and a half kilo dumbbell and proceeded to slowly copy what she saw. The training manuals had recommended that she start with a lighter weight and learn how to do the movements properly with higher repetitions before attempting to use the heavier weights.

' _One thousand…hold…One thousand…squeeze…One thousand…'_ she chanted in her mind as she slowly raised and lowered the dumbbell holding at the bottom of the motion without locking her elbow or squeezing her muscle at the top all the while maintaining a firm grip. She breathed in through her nose and slowly released it through her mouth, making sure not to clench her teeth or bite her tongue. Her body position was spot on and a sweat began to break out the longer she went. When she completed the bicep curl set, she shook out her arms then moved to another position; this time it was dumbbell raises. She sat securely with her feet flat on the floor about shoulder width apart and brought the dumbbells up to shoulder height. With a smooth push, she lifted the dumbbells until her arms were fully extended and lightly tapped the weights together. After a full circuit with all the free-weight positions, she moved onto the seated machines like the leg curls and barbell pull-downs.

' _The girls are going to be so envious of me when they see just how powerful I become!'_

* * *

Tracy Davis and Daphne Greengrass arrived just as Millie was completing her cool-down run around the indoor track and watched in amazement at the way Millie seemed to thrive in this environment. _'There's no way anyone's going to get me to work out like this. Now if it were in the pool, that'd be different…'_ both girls thought.

"You done exercising, Millie?" Tracy called out as the brunette approached.

"One…huff…more…lap…." She puffed as she made the turn past her friend.

After that one additional lap, Millie came to a stop and bent over at the waist then stretched to the ceiling. The girl grabbed a towel and puffed out that she was going to take a shower and that she'd meet the other two at the pool.

In the locker rooms, Millie admired herself in the floor length mirror and posed a couple of times and imagined what she'd look like with prominent muscles. Her stocky physique already had some muscle definition but she wanted more.

' _I wonder who I should talk to about better nutrition?'_

* * *

**Grand Baths of Hogwarts**

Tracy gazed out over the gorgeous white marble and ancient styling of the surrounding courtyard baths. It wasn't a traditional bath like the one they used in their dorms but more of a pool where she could swim and play like a fish. The layout looked like a pool within a courtyard of a two story villa. It had marble statues of mythological creatures lining the balustrades; the second floor was where the exercise rooms were located. Millie could see where she'd be able to gaze down and see who was in the pool itself while she was exercising. The exquisite royal blue tiling lined the walls and floor of the pool itself. The crystal clear waters were lightly rippling from the jets of water that sprung up from fountains lining the edges of the pool. Stairs entered the pool from the East and West points; there was a shallow section around the stairs as well as a wading pool nearest the North wall. There was a small grotto at the South end that featured a waterfall entrance. Roman columns supported a balcony adjacent to the second floor. There were lounge chairs scattered throughout with small tables between them. Safety devices lined the south wall, while extra towels and swim toys were stored in an open faced cabinet. Labeled archways led off to different rooms such as a sauna, lounge, the exercise rooms, a lazy river, the changing rooms and the main entrance and exit. Lighting was provided by torches spaced evenly around the perimeter walls and in hidden sconces along the edge of the balcony. The three girls stood there and silently marveled at all the luxuriant beauty before them. When Tracy looked up, she could see the enchanted ceiling was displaying a sunny day with scattered white puffy clouds.

* * *

Both Tracy and Daphne were already dressed in their bathing suits as the burly girl entered the poolroom. With a feral grin Tracy yelled out, " _Cannonball!"_ She took a huge jump and curled up into a ball before hitting the water with a giant BAH-WHOOSH! The resulting wave splashed over Millie's head and caused the larger girl to just shake her now wet head in haughty derision. Daphne managed to stay out of the way by the simple expedient of quickly walking over to the stairs when Tracy made her jump.

When Tracy popped back up and pushed her hair out of her face, she grinned deliriously at her friend, "Come on in, Millie!" Millie just snorted and slid in more sedately. Daphne swam over and hovered next to her blonde friend with a contented smile on her face.

The three girls cavorted around the pool; laughing and squealing, splashing one another, diving, racing each other to the opposite sides, floating on the surface watching the enchanted ceiling as it displayed the sky outside and just reveled in being a kid with no pressing need to go anywhere or do anything. Daphne was enjoying the fact that there were no disapproving adults that would admonish them for behaving in anything less than proper public decorum. A couple of other bathers did have to yell out to Tracy to slow down a few times when the excited girl got ahead of herself but for the most part they were free to be themselves.

"Ahhh…I think I could live here," Daphne sighed. The other two agreed with the sentiment.

* * *

"Hey, Trace? Daphne? You want to go check out that river thing?" Millie asked.

"Sure. I've been really curious about it." The three climbed out and trailed water behind them as they approached the equipment counter being staffed by one of the Hogwarts elves. The rules to get an inflatable raft were simple: you had to sign the raft out and tap the parchment with your wand to attach your magical signature. This was done as a safety feature in case of emergency.

The three girls grabbed their rafts and waded into the shallow 'beachfront,' laid down on the rafts and pushed off, letting the current take them along. There was a slight breeze that wafted through the branches and leaves of the trees; the river itself was lit from below using hidden glowing crystals embedded into the walls. The ceiling was enchanted as well and displayed the same sunny scene _. 'If you close your eyes, you could almost hear birds chirping in the foliage,'_ Tracy mused dreamily. They passed small cutouts where rafters could take a break from the current. There were mini cascades of water over boulders dotted along the river way; there was even a waterfall over what appeared to be a cave of some type! With a brief flurry of paddling, the three adventurers managed to get themselves heading along the alternate route towards the cavern. As they traveled into the darkened cavern, they saw that the tunnel featured stunning stalagmites and stalactites from the ceiling and floor. It was lit with more of those glowing crystals and even what appeared to be bioluminescent moss attached to the rocks. Streams emptied into the main course and there were flowers of every color and hue. It was almost too much to take in at once but Tracy vowed to spend as much time here as possible.

After a few minutes of just silent cruising and relaxing, Millie looked over at her best friend and smiled at the entranced look on her face, "You should see your face, Tracy. You look like you've seen Merlin."

Tracy sighed, "It's just so hard to believe that all this has been here for so long yet my parents never told me about it because _they_ didn't know. Dumbledore was an idiot for locking this away." She heard Daphne and Millie voicing their agreements.

* * *

"Beep, beep! On your left, watch your arms," they heard a boy's voice coming from behind them as they exited the cavern. Millie paddled with her hands to spin her raft around and spotted none other than Harry Potter himself swiftly approaching on his own raft.

"Hey, Harry!" Both Millie and Tracy greeted the raven-haired boy, "Wanna slow down and join us?"

Harry reached out and lightly gripped the embankment 'curb' to slow his approach until he was just slightly behind them, "Hey Tracy, Millie, Daphne. How many laps have you done?"

"Just started. Millie's been working out in the weightlifting room before joining Daphne and me in the pool. Where's Hermione? I would've figured she'd be here with you," Tracy replied. She then noticed he had something in his hand, "What's that?"

"Fried courgettes. You want to try one?" Millie and Tracy shook their heads while Daphne accepted one. "No worries. There's plenty more in the kitchens if you change your minds. As for Hermione, she said she had something she needed to do then she'll join me afterwards."

"How many laps have you done, Harry?" Millie asked as she repositioned herself again since the current had slowly rotated her.

"Four so far. I love this river thing, it's so relaxing. I can't wait for nighttime when the stars come out." Millie looked up at the ceiling where she could see a cloud scudding across the sky.

After a couple more minutes of silence, Tracy piped up, "Did you hear the news? Ronald Weasley is back in school." Harry made a face.

"Let's hope he's learned his lesson and stays away from my stuff. That hurt when I found out what he'd done."

* * *

Hermione appeared as the trio approached the start of the river and waved for them to pause so she could join in. She was dressed in a pretty, pale green one piece bathing suit that left her arms and legs bare as opposed to the neck to knee ensemble that the three pureblood girls were wearing. All three pureblood girls were staring unabashedly at her, or rather her revealing (to them at least) bathing suit.

"Wow, Hermione! You've got a lot of daring to expose yourself like that in public," Millie commented as she took in the racer back strap of the swimsuit.

Hermione looked puzzled as she glanced down at what she was wearing, "What are you talking about? It's a one piece; I'm not showing anything off. Not like I _got_ anything to show off at this age anyways." She grumbled the last.

Millie pointed between herself, Daphne and Tracy, "Our bathing suits would be considered a tiny bit mature for our ages because we opted for the ones that expose our calves and knees. My mother almost got in trouble with my dad for allowing me to purchase this."

Both Harry and Hermione were puzzled by that but could only shrug it off and chalk it up to conservative ideals of the magical world.

"So what were you laughing about when you came around that last bend?" Hermione asked.

"Tracy was making a joke about the return of Ronald Weasley to our House. She suggested that we put a cowbell around his neck to warn others when he's nearby," Daphne replied.

Hermione got a displeased look on her face, "That's mean. He's a rude boy and did some terrible things but that's over now. He's not still like that is he?"

"Well, he just got back this morning but I'm still going to be on my guard for a while," Millie admitted.

* * *

_**Later…** _

When they finally got out of the river and split along gender lines to get changed back into their regular clothes, Millie asked Hermione if the swimsuit she wore was comfortable and if it were appropriate to wear while weightlifting.

Pursing her lips in thought, Hermione shook her head, "Probably not appropriate for weightlifting unless you were wearing leggings underneath. If you were to move or bend at the wrong moment, the other patrons would get more than they bargained for."

Tracy and Daphne let out a strangled snort while Millie blushed bright red, "Yeah. Definitely _not_ a good idea then. Would you be willing to help me pick out the right outfit? I did my work out in robes and it just didn't feel good. I think I was sweating more than I should have."

Hermione smiled reassuringly and patted her friend on the arm, "No problem. I'll just write to my mum and ask her to send me a catalog from home.

* * *

** Ministry for Magic, Minister Cornelius Fudge's Office **

Cornelius was busy fielding reports of the usual goings-on in his administration and let out a sigh of frustration, _'What I wouldn't give to have someone as a second in command to handle all this nonsense! Who cares if the tea service on Level Three is out of sugar? Just go out and buy some, dammit! This is not the sort of thing he should be getting reports for.'_

As he continued reading, an unusual sense of dread started creeping up his spine. It was almost as if he were being watched by a malevolent spirit. The feeling got darker and more pronounced just as he was about to reach for the reports on the recent werewolf sightings. His door opened and the last person he'd ever expect to see again waddled into the room.

"Hem, hem." Dolores Umbridge said in an overly saccharine sweet voice and a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

* * *

The population of the Ministry for Magic could've been knocked over with a feather when news of Dolores Umbridge's return arrived. Nearly everyone remembered the reign of terror and corruption that followed the squat witch wherever she went. It didn't escape anyone's notice that 'The Toad' (as everyone knew her as but never spoke aloud in her presence) had learned some new lessons while exiled in the Amazon. While still just as squat and toad-like in appearance; the new Dolores had dropped several stone in weight and projected an air that made her previous menacing seem like an overzealous toddler. She'd had even appeared to be wearing a necklace of some kind made of bones, feathers and gemstones. Whatever its purpose, no one had any doubt that it was probably nefarious in nature. The Toad was now a viper and she was on the hunt.

Dolores had spent her time well in exile keeping abreast of the news of her homeland. She had maintained her coterie of spies and informants to bring her all the information she craved so as to properly make her return…memorable. She knew about Dumbledore's recent ousting and 'reassignment' to the colonies plus the gala that was held at Hogwarts to celebrate the re-opening of the Grand Baths and Great Ballroom. It disgusted her greatly to see that the Wizarding Customs and Etiquette classes were paying great dividends in easing the tensions between muggleborns and purebloods. Then came the knowledge that the exercise rooms encouraged the usage of disgustingly inappropriate clothing and activities that no 'proper pureblood' would ever enjoy. _'Lifting weights like those dirty muggles or cavorting around like drunken animals, the shame their parents must be feeling!'_

Additionally, she discovered that muggles had been even allowed to step foot within the hallowed halls of Hogwarts to attend the gala! Where was the outrage and demands for retribution in the _Daily Prophet?_ The lack of response that any proper pureblood should have been feeling at having to suffer the presence of those animals at a prestigious gathering was most distressing. _'Why, even Lady Malfoy was seen conversing and seemingly having a wonderful time with the muggle parents of the whelp who co-discovered the rooms turns my stomach,'_ she groused every time she thought about it.

She had a plan on how to disrupt things and bring back the natural order of Magical Britain.

* * *

**Hogwarts Kitchens, a week later**

Hermione surprised Tiny when she asked the Head Kitchen Elf if she could use Harry's cook station. Said elf's mouth flopped open and closed like a landed fish for a moment, blinking rapidly in confusion. Harry was leaning over the counter reading through his notes for his next demonstration, listening to the conversation quietly.

"If Mister Harry is saying it is okay with him, Tiny doesn't have a problem," the little elf said with wide eyes, her head tilted in confusion as she looked back and forth between the two children.

Harry didn't have a problem with it so Hermione quickly got set up and pulled out a recipe she'd wanted to make for the longest time. Tiny and Harry each pulled up a stool so they could watch and asked if Hermione would be willing to explain what it was that she was attempting.

Shrugging her shoulders Hermione began her explanation, "What I'm going to attempt to make is called 'Pork Ginger Potstickers.' To start, in a large bowl, combine pork, cabbage, mushrooms, garlic, green onions, hoisin, ginger, sesame oil, Sriracha and white pepper." She dumped the prepared ingredients into a bowl and tossed them to coat them with the sauces. Tiny could tell that young miss didn't have the same sort of flair that Harry Potter did but it got the job done.

"Hermione? Why didn't you show how you prepared the ingredients?"

Hermione tilted her head, "Because…well, I figured you could tell what I'd already done. It's not like I was going to be showing this off to the others like you do." Harry bobbed his head so she continued.

"To assemble the dumplings, place wrappers on a work surface. Spoon 1 tablespoon of the pork mixture into the center of each wrapper. Using your finger, rub the edges of the wrappers with water. Fold the dough over the filling to create a half-moon shape, pinching the edges to seal." Deft fingers made quick work of this step. Next she pulled out a large skillet, added a tiny bit of oil and swirled it around the bottom.

"Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add potstickers in a single layer and cook until golden and crisp, about 2-3 minutes per side. Serve immediately with soy sauce, if desired."

Tiny carefully picked up a potsticker and put it in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully at the taste and texture. Bobbing her head she said, "It is not bad. Different than what Tiny is used to but very tasty."

Harry popped one in his mouth and grinned while chewing, "Tastes great, Hermione. See? I told you that you could make more than just biscuits and the occasional grilled cheese sandwich." Hermione blushed at the praise.

"What are you planning on making?"

"Well, seeing as how Valentine's Day is coming up, I'd thought I'd make some donuts."

Hermione blinked, "Do…donuts? Why donuts and not something more Valentine-y?"

"It's for the Valentine's Day Ball buffet and I didn't want to make anything where I'd have to hover when I'd rather be dancing with my best friend."

"…" again with the blinking, Hermione was silent as she turned her big brown eyes onto him.

"Say that again, Harry?"

Harry reached over and took her hands in his, "I would like it if you would be my date for the Valentine's Day Ball and dance with me."

' _Eep! A, a DATE?!'_ she squealed in her mind. Clearing her throat lightly, "An actual date?"

Harry nodded, "Yup, all the fixings too. We'll both get dressed up, I'll escort you to the Great Ballroom; you and I will dance the night away. Then when it's all over, I'll escort you back to the dorms where you get to squeal and act all girly with the others on your side of the Sett."

She giggled and whapped him lightly on the arm for that last joke. Then she gasped, "I need to go write to my mum so I can get a dress for the Ball!" She dashed out the door and was gone for barely a minute before she dashed back in and gave Harry a strong kiss on the cheek, squealed in happiness and excitement then said that she would be pleased to go to the Ball with him before running away again.

Tiny burst out laughing at the look on Harry's face as she clicked her fingers to get the dishes washed.

* * *

**Friday 14 February 1992, Hufflepuff Common Room**

Harry wasn't the only one to have a date for the Ball. Pretty much everyone was dressed up in some fashion. Justin Finch-Fletchley had thought it would be funny to wear the novelty t-shirt that looked like it had a tuxedo image on the front. His date to the Ball, Megan Jones of Ravenclaw, was not as amused and made him promise not to wear it. The Weasley Twins found out about the shirt however and asked to see if they could copy it into something that would fit them. When they arrived at the Ballroom, the two boys were wearing something that even Albus Dumbledore would've hesitated on. Their shirts kept rotating through various colors and patterns, gave off bursts of light like a photographer's bulb and made all sorts of squeaks and burps as they moved. (Minerva intercepted them before they enter and demanded that they either change into something more appropriate or face detention.)

Harry was patiently waiting in their common room with Neville and a couple of others so they could escort their dates to the third floor. Neville was checking over Harry's bowtie and pronounced in good condition, "Relax, Harry. It's just an evening spent with Hermione not you going off to war or something."

Harry chuckled, "Hermione said something similar on the train coming up here back in September. Whew… I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's not like she and I haven't shared a dance together before. My uncle Remus taught the both of us some of the usual dances found in these things before we started school." He rubbed and flexed his fingers to try and dispel his nervous energy.

A momentary hush fell over the assembled Puffs as the girls started making their appearance. Harry spotted Hermione immediately and forgot how to breathe. She had her hair piled up on top of her head with a pair of ringlets framing her face. She was wearing a floaty, periwinkle blue dress that stopped just short of her ankles with a mesh yoke of some kind holding it up on her shoulders. It was demure and age-appropriate yet giving the appearance that she was maturing young lady. The solid neckline stopped just below her collarbone and had a light dusting of rhinestones across the chest. In all, it looked like she was an angel sent down from heaven to him. He must have said something pleasant (he hoped) and held out his arm for her to take.

* * *

**Third Floor, Great Ballroom**

The Valentine's Day Ball was in a word, 'Spectacular.' The elves, supervised by Argus Filch and several other teachers had done an absolutely wonderful job of decorating and arranging the events of the night. The press was camped out near the base of the stairs so they could get the best angle for their photographs. Both kids were amazed at how elegant and opulent the decorations were just in the main foyer. _'It sure beats anything our primary school put together!'_ Hermione's eyes were sparkling with delight as her ears picked up the faint sounds of music playing and began tugging on Harry's arm to take her dancing.

When they got into the ballroom itself, both kids let out gasps of delight. It was as if the grandeur of romantic eras gone past had revisited them for that night. There were already many couples gracefully moving to Shostakovich's 'The Second Waltz' and dressed like something out of a period movie they'd both seen on the telly a couple of years ago.

"Oh, Harry…" Hermione squealed as he took her hands and spun her into position then led at the next cue.

As they were dancing and thoroughly enjoying their time together, Harry suddenly had a case of the shivers as if a ghost had passed through him (he had that happen once and swore to pay more attention to where he was walking next time.) He swept his eyes over the other couples and the crowd lining the floor but couldn't see anything or anyone that could cause such a sensation so he paid it no mind.

* * *

**Front Entrance to the Castle**

Dolores Umbridge waddled into the castle as if she owned the place. She spotted a first year Slytherin and asked where the festivities were being held. The firstie, Vincent Crabbe, pointed in the direction of the stairs and stammered that it was being held on the third floor and that the stairs had been locked into place for the evening. The Toad didn't even thank him as she stalked off. Vincent wiped his brow and glanced at the cake on a plate he was holding had been tampered with as the notion of that huge toad speaking to him was making him doubt his sanity. _'I need to go to the Infirmary to get checked out.'_

As she entered the Grand Foyer, Dolores was initially impressed despite her original ideas that there was no way that Hogwarts could ever hold anything better than what the Ministry usually held. The decorations were tasteful and harkened back to a time when civility and nobility were expected as part and parcel of everyday life. Back in the days when the mudbloods and half bloods knew their places, _'unlike these days when they've been given leave to run around like the animals they are.'_ Her features darkened when she spotted several mudbloods daring to mingle with their betters and nearly went over to intervene but held off. They weren't worth bothering with, their families not highly placed enough to warrant interference.

She spotted Lady Malfoy standing off a ways consulting with another young woman who was holding a clipboard and taking notes. She made her way over to greet them.

"Lady Malfoy, it is a pleasure to see you again," she said in her usual overly sweet manner.

Narcissa turned then looked down at the hideously ugly and squat witch before her, "Um, yes. Thank you. What…I mean, who are you?"

"Dolores Umbridge, Ambassador to Brazil. I must say that you have put together such a wonderful event. It's just a shame that you were forced to allow such…unworthy children to attend."

Narcissa was starting to get an inkling of an idea as to what this…ahem, woman, was talking about and decided to burst her bubble, "Ah, yes. I vaguely remember you. I'm afraid you have me mistaken with someone else. I am not the organizer for this evening's entertainment. That would be this young lady, Miss Penelope Clearwater of Ravenclaw." Penelope wrinkled her nose slightly at the insults Umbridge had thrown at her party and guests.

"Clearwater? I don't remember such a pureblood family the last time I was in Britain." Umbridge said with false sincerity.

"Dolores?"

Dolores turned at the interruption and spotted Cornelius as he walked up to the trio, "Why Minister, it's a pleasure to see you here too! I was just about to be introduced to this lovely young girl. Judging by her taste in decoration and event planning, she must be from a _proper pureblood_ family." She tried smiling but it came across as more barracuda-like.

Cornelius' eyes narrowed slightly as he shook his head internally, _'Why did she have to come back? Who the heck let her back in the country?'_ "I'm afraid that you are mistaken Dolores. Miss Clearwater is actually a half-blood and quite talented at event planning, I've been told. Now that I think about it, I just may have to hire her when she graduates to host the Ministry Galas!"

Penelope laughed lightly, "I thank you Minister but I have my sights set on joining the DMLE."

"As an Auror? My, that is ambitious."

Penelope shook her head, "No sir. I wish to join the law side of the department perhaps as a paralegal to start with an eye on becoming a full solicitor some day."

Both Cornelius and Narcissa's faces became thoughtful; Cornelius was the one who spoke up, "Now that's a worthy life goal Miss Clearwater! When you graduate, come see me and I'll see if I can arrange a meeting with the department head. Now, if you'll excuse us? Dolores, a word." He gripped the toad woman's bicep and led Dolores off to the side and casting a privacy charm. Both Narcissa and Penelope watched as a silent Minister raged at the Ambassador for several minutes, waving his arms and angrily waving a pointed finger in her face before removing the charm and storming off. Dolores blinked a couple of times, shook her head as if the encounter were of no importance and waddled away towards the ballroom.

"Hmph! Be very careful around that…thing, Penelope. Nothing good can ever come from a situation after Dolores Umbridge has taken an interest in it," Narcissa warned the younger girl.

* * *

_**Buffet tables, a moment later…** _

Dolores took in the artfully arranged edible offerings; there were many dishes here that confused her, _'That one there appears to be raw fish over bundles of rice? Who would ever eat that? Osso buco? What is that? Ah, there we go! Steaks, roasted lamb, chicken…yes, that's more appropriate than that foreign junk.'_

She selected the Ribeye with goat cheese and Meyer lemon honey mustard sauce, a side of garlic potato gratin and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and directed the elf server to send it to her table. She then headed off to an open seat and sat down. When no food immediately appeared, she grew irate at the insubordination of those miserable vermin.

"Where is my food?! I demand to see the manager!" she loudly complained.

Headmaster Daggerclaw calmly walked up to her table while carrying his own tray of food, "Madam Ambassador, I'm guessing that you were not told of how things are done here but on this night, you select your food and carry it yourself to your table. There is no wait staff to tend to your needs aside from cleaning up the empty dishes." She gave him a huff so he just turned and left.

* * *

Dolores tried to get her food by forcing her way back to her original place but was soundly rebuffed by the other guests, one of whom was Lord Malfoy.

"Madam Ambassador, I don't care to know what dining conditions were like in the wilds of the Amazon but here in civilization, we wait our turn before choosing our food," He sneered at the woman who was starting to emulate her amphibian namesake as she started inflating herself to build up to a good and proper rant. Then to add insult to injury, he turned his back on the squat witch and pointedly ignored her.

Dolores went for her wand but found it wasn't in her pocket! She wildly looked around for it when her eyes landed on Daggerclaw standing off a bit waggling it between his fingers!

"Temper tantrums that lead to wands being pulled are not permitted within these halls. Should you feel the need, we do have dueling rooms to allow you to blow off some steam but if you continue this blatant misbehavior, I will be forced to ask you to leave. Should you fail to do that, the Aurors will be called and they _will_ make a scene. In the meantime, your wand will remain with me until you can prove that you can control yourself." He stared her down until Dolores stamped her foot and stormed off.

* * *

_**Out on the Ballroom floor…** _

Harry led Hermione through as many of the waltzes that they both knew. Her eyes were glistening and a bright, wide smile seemed to be permanently fixed on her face. As they twirled and moved through the steps as gracefully as they could (he did occasionally step on her feet), Harry remarked that this ball was a wonderful idea and that he was still in awe that it was all because she got curious as to what was down at the end of the hallway.

The two young friends giggled and commented on how the older couples were either successfully dancing or just flopping around like a couple of beached walruses. Hermione put on her best 'snooty face' and allowed Harry to guide her around the floor, her moves flawlessly matching his (but in reverse) every time they got near the couples who weren't dancing all that well. It didn't surprise her that Fred and George were two who didn't dance all that well or that they seemed to be going out of their way to be as obnoxious about it as possible (that and they were dancing with each other while their dates were standing off to the side laughing their heads off.) They spotted Neville as he danced gracefully with his date for the evening, Parvati Patil. Justin and his date, Megan Jones were standing off on the sidelines having a conversation while Susan Bones was dancing with Hannah Abbott while making silly faces at the other boys in their House.

"I'm surprised that Ron Weasley hasn't shown his face around the buffet yet," Harry remarked as he dipped Hermione over.

Hermione shrugged back, "I heard that he didn't want to do anything that might hurt his chances with his probation so he's staying in his room."

"Fine by me and that's the last you'll hear me talking about it. Tonight is all about you, my sweet, delightfully nerdy angel," he whispered in her ear making her shiver with delight.

"Delightfully nerdy?" she pressed with a raised eyebrow.

Harry laughed, "Too much?" She just giggled and let herself be swept away.

When the music changed to that of a slow 'sway and hold' type of dance, Hermione rested her head on Harry's shoulder and sighed in contentment.

* * *

After dancing as much as their feet would tolerate, Harry led Hermione off to where the food line was. He pointed out that they had the opportunity to either stuff themselves stupid with junk food without worrying about what her parents would say or if she wanted to get some real food in her. She thought for a moment before deciding to go the mature route and get some real food first before letting loose.

Harry looked over the assortment and decided upon a plate of Duck with Cherries in Chianti, roasted carrots with oranges, and a bottle of chilled Butterbeer. Hermione hummed with interest before deciding on getting Black Tie Scallops with Persian Barberry rice and a glass of non-alcoholic sparkling wine.

Once they were seated, Hermione took a bite and hummed in pleasure, "Harry? Did you make any of this?"

Harry shook his head, "Nope, this was completely done by the elves. My only contribution was crème brulee donuts over at the dessert table."

* * *

**Press Camp, Grand Foyer**

Rita Skeeter, Social Reporter for the _Daily Prophet_ sat watching the guests and staff as they mingled, danced and ate with the gaze more appropriate of a hungry shark. She really wished that she could transform into her secret beetle animagus form to get the scoop on whatever juicy gossip might be had but she'd overheard the Deputy Headmistress commenting to another reporter that the wards on the school had been completely updated and improved upon, including those that would prevent unauthorized animagi to enter the school. When asked a follow-up question as to how the wards were able to identify an unauthorized animgagi, the Deputy Headmistress replied that it had something to do with whether or not said person was officially hired by the school and had their magical signatures registered. Minerva went to then describe the consequences of those foolish enough to attempt the intrusion such as a burning sensation across their body the closer they tried to get to the school all the way up to incapacitation in the dungeons while being forced to endure the sensation of pain akin to being hit with the Cruciatus Curse if they managed to breach the castle walls. (Little did Rita know, but Minerva staged that interview with the reporter just in case there were any members of the press who would foolishly think to spy on the students and guests.)

Just as Rita was contemplating whether or not to leave, Dolores approached the press camp.

"Ah, Miss Skeeter! It's been so long since I've been able to read your wonderful and insightful commentary."

Rita smiled emptily; she had no idea who this vile-looking woman was and offering the usual meaningless platitudes, "Thank you, ma'am. What is your role at this party?"

Dolores waved her hand, "Oh, you dear. I'm just a guest of the Minister himself! I am the Ambassador to Brazil, Dolores Umbridge, recently returned after an unfair and blatant attempt of character assassination by my enemies. They sought to discredit me by having me transferred to that backwater and primitive country several years ago. I just wanted to finally introduce myself to you as like I said, your columns are a delightful insight to the social coming and goings of our proud society."

"Yes, thank you for your compliments. So, how do you feel the event tonight is going? Have you seen the rest of the place?"

Dolores' face took on what she felt was heart-felt sadness but in reality looked more like she was suffering from stomach pains, "I haven't seen the rest of the newly discovered rooms but I have seen plenty that makes me feel that our once great society has taken a mighty downturn. I have seen and heard so many lower class mongrels stepping above their station to interact with our pureblood children! The audacity of it all is what pains me. Is there no one who will step up and force them back into their proper places? Why haven't their parents said anything? Why just a few minutes ago, I witnessed a mud…muggleborn dancing with Lord Malfoy's heir!"

Rita's eyebrows rose to her hairline, "Well, that is interesting! What else have you seen or heard? I must admit that we of the press are not allowed to venture further from this enclosure as if we were aberrant sheep."

Dolores leaned in a little closer, as if to impart a great secret, "Let me tell you…"

* * *

**Recipes:**

Crème brulee donuts (mention only, YouTube)

Pork Ginger Potstickers (Pinterest)

Ribeye with goat cheese and Meyer lemon honey mustard sauce (mention only, Google)

Garlic Potatoes Gratin (mention only, Google)

Black Tie Scallops (mention only, Google)

Persian Barberry Rice (mention only, Google)


	16. Now Serving Pickled Toad and a Side Order of Bug Mash!

**Chapter 16: Now serving Pickled Toad and a side of bug mash!**

**Saturday 15 February 1992 Great Hall, breakfast**

The weekend edition of the _Daily Prophet_ caused a tumult within the walls of the castle. Ironically, the tumult wasn't against the intended target though. The main article covered last night's Valentine's Ball on the third floor and it was a well-written piece complete with photographs showcasing the highlights of the who's who, what they were wearing, the Ballroom and the adjoining rooms. It was the gossip column attached to it that was the cause of the uproar. Rita Skeeter, long known to be as bloodsucking as her last name would suggest had taken many pokes at the headmaster, the quality of the food and the allegedly unseemly behavior of those children in the lower classes who dared to dance and mingle with those above their station.

Harry listened to Hermione as she read out some of the quotes taken by Skeeter from one 'highly placed Ministry source' who wished to remain anonymous, "It's clear that traditional wizarding values, once adhered to with such reverence, are being thrown away for the fanciful fads of the muggles."

Neville laughed, "It's _clear_ that Skeeter and whoever her source is, never took our Wizarding Customs and Etiquette class! I'm a pureblood and raised to know the customs like the back of my hand and I can state that there was never a time that anyone was behaving improperly."

"I agree, Longbottom," a voice behind them said. Turning in their seats, they spotted Draco ambling over with his own paper in hand, "My parents routinely test me on proper behavior in all social settings and last night was 'picture perfect' in the words of my mother. I had a wonderful time dancing with my muggleborn date for the evening." He gestured to an open seat and was granted leave to sit and join them. "I would suspect that this 'highly placed Ministry source' is just some rabble-rouser who was drunk or looking to stir up trouble for their own gain."

"Who did you take, Draco?"

"Miss Sophie Roper, she's a shy but sweet girl until she gets comfortable with you then she turns into this funny chatterbox talking about some of the weirdest things."

Harry turned to him, "Yeah? Like what?"

Draco shook his head in bemusement, "Some group called 'in synch' or some backstreet boys. It got rather confusing to be honest."

The muggleborn and raised sitting at their table laughed. Harry patted the blonde boy on the shoulder, "Don't feel too bad. I barely take notice of that stuff either. NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys are the names of two 'boy bands.' They allegedly sing and dance a genre known as 'dance pop' and are too sugary sweet for my tastes; I don't really like that kind of noise."

Hermione squealed in indignation and glared at Harry, "The Backstreet Boys is _not_ noise!"

Harry held his hands up in submission, "Sorry Hermione but to me they are. When it comes to music I prefer rock and roll like Queen or AC/DC." Justin was heard lamenting about the recent loss of Freddie Mercury as the greatest disaster to ever occur.

"Hmmm, I may need to listen to these groups. Music in the magical world is rather…limited," Draco commented and Neville agreed.

Gesturing for Hermione to continue, she gave a huff and one last glare at Harry then read on, "This is in response to the leadership and new classes brought in by Headmaster Daggerclaw _. 'It's a blatant attempt to pervert the impressionable young minds of our proud, respectable pureblood families. By distracting them with frivolous classes and programs designed to subvert and subject our children to dangerous ideas._ '"

A Slytherin seventh year was walking past and heard the comment. He stopped and shook his head at the inanity, "Seriously? Does it say which classes are the dangerous ones?" Hermione re-read the article and shook her head. The seventh year sneered, "Idiot Skeeter; never does her research. I fail to see how the additional general education classes and even the revamped history class are dangerous. If there's one thing you need to learn in this world is that gossip writers are usually the lowest paid and will no doubt look to supplement their income from less reputable sources."

"In other words, they'll write an article regardless of the source for the highest bribe," drawled Harry.

"Here's the 'best' one yet," Hermione interjected, "Our ancient beacon of knowledge and learning has now become a cesspit of fear and loathing. Students are afraid to come forth to demand a return to the old ways ever since a Goblin was installed as Headmaster. We believe he is training his own personal army to over throw the Ministry."

Everyone burst out laughing; some even fell off their seats onto the floor while gasping for air through their wheezing.

"So, I guess you got to the part where I'm training a new Goblin horde out of impressionable students, eh?" They looked up and saw Daggerclaw standing over them with a sardonic grin on his face and carrying a mug of something steaming. He took a sip from the mug and intoned, "I expect that whoever wrote this has a 'battle plan' all worked out on how I'm supposed to accomplish this? Maybe I'm controlling you with lavish parties and a brand-new fitness center?"

More laughter; gesturing to Hermione for her to finish with the rest of the piece, she snorted one more time and continued reading, "This reporter reached out to the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge on his views of the accusations and this is what he was quoted as saying: _'If Headmaster Daggerclaw wants this job, he's welcome to all the paperwork hassles no one ever mentions in the job description! The tea service on level three is out of sugar so what do they do? They send a report to me requesting I do something about it. I got one here from a department head on level two, 'The magical windows are not showing the springtime Welsh landscape like I had requested! Please do something about it!' My job is to create policy that affects the whole country, not deal with piddling little nonsense like this. I don't know who it was that insinuated this garbage that the headmaster is after my job but I am going to make it my personal mission to find out and when I do, they're going to be transferred to the most remote place on this planet!'_

"And _that_ boys and girls is why you should never unconditionally believe what you read in the paper, especially the gossip column. Do your own research and make up your own minds." Daggerclaw instructed as he headed back up to the teacher's table.

* * *

_**Later, in the Greenhouses…** _

Neville came walking into the potter's shed within Greenhouse One and set down his book bag, a travel mug full of roasted tomato soup and his garden tool roll on the counter. He dug around in his bag and pulled out a signup sheet as well as a list of group rules and topics he was going to cover. He turned at the sound of a light tapping on the door and saw Harry. He smiled and waved his friend in, "Hiya Harry! I'm just getting set up. I hope there will be some people interested in getting a gardening club going."

Harry agreed, "Yeah, I've gotten some questions regarding growing the vegetables used in my recipes. I hope that you'll be able to help people learn where their food comes from. You need any help?"

"If you could get some chairs set up?"

Harry busied himself with the task of finding extra chairs and set them up in an arc facing the door while Neville pulled over one of the spare blackboards then hunted for a box of chalk. Students started arriving not five minutes later in drips and drabs. By the time that the appointed time rolled around, the shed was completely full of curious potential green thumbs.

Neville stepped up to the front and steeled himself, "Welcome to the first ever Hogwarts Gardening Club! My name is Neville and I'll be your host for the time being. What I'd like to start everyone off with is just go around the room and hear what everyone here hopes they'll pick up from this meeting?"

The responses ranged from learning how to make their own potted plants grow more effectively to hoping to earn extra credit points for Herbology. Some of the girls wanted to learn how to grow flowers that didn't die every time they transplanted them while one boy wanted to learn how to grow things for his potions experiments.

"That's a good idea; learning where your ingredients come from is beneficial because some apothecary shops aren't always reputable. Do you know what Gillyweed is supposed to look like during its dormant season? Have you ever seen fluxweed in its natural environment? That is some of the things that we will be getting to in our Herbology classes next year but it never hurts to touch on the basics ahead of time."

Neville gestured off to a side bench, "I thought we could start with some basic soil knowledge. Here, I've set up several pots containing soil from the greenhouses. Each one is a different pH level. First question, 'What is a pH level?' A pH level is a measure of how acidic or alkaline your soil is. Additionally, the letters 'pH' stand for 'potential of Hydrogen.' It's a rather complicated to get into for this beginning club so if you're really interested in it, I recommend either stopping by the library or speaking with our general science professor. Why is this important? Well, some plants like a more acidic or alkaline level to achieve the best growth." He circled around the back and demonstrated how to use ordinary kitchen materials like vinegar and baking soda to check for the pH levels in the soil. The kids were scrambling to either get a better look or scribble down notes.

Unbeknownst to everyone, Pomona Sprout was watching the proceedings disillusioned in the back with a large, proud smile on her face.

* * *

When the club broke up for the day, Neville was blushing like mad from all the compliments and accolades being heaped upon him. Harry was glad to see his shy friend come out of his shell once in a while; it also gave him the opportunity to shift the spotlight off from himself. It still mystified him that there were some who continued to refer to him as 'The-Boy-Who-Lived.'

"Well Professor Longbottom, that was one enjoyable class you gave," Harry teased his friend. Neville rolled his eyes.

"So what's next for the next meeting?"

Neville shrugged a shoulder, "Haven't the foggiest. I wasn't really expecting that many people to show up. You got any ideas?"

Harry tapped his chin with a finger and looked thoughtful, "Well, how about you start with identifying basic mundane and magical plants that can be easily grown in pots placed in a windowsill? How about… a do-it-yourself grow kit? They each get a small pot, a bag of soil and a variety pack of seeds. The variety pack is organized from easiest to hardest. You could then teach them how to identify what it is they're trying to grow, watering methods and alternatives, understanding the information on the back of the package…that sort of thing."

"Sounds expensive."

Harry shook his head, "Not really. You could go into any muggle gardening shop and pick one up for anywhere between six to fifteen pounds."

Neville looked confused, "What is that in Galleons?"

Harry sighed heavily as he thought of what the conversion was, "Um…five pounds to one Galleon so between roughly one Galleon, four Sickles all the way up to three Galleons, 5 Knuts. Sometimes they can be even more expensive depending on what it is you're growing."

"That's pretty cheap then. What about kitchen waste? Could you do a talk on saving the seeds from your cooking show?"

"I can do that. I've not saved anything recently but that's easy enough to do."

"Great, thanks. Oh! I've been wanting to ask, would you be okay with teaching me how to make bread? I had an idea for garden bread that's pretty to look at as well as eat."

Harry blinked, "Well, what sort of bread were you thinking of using? Not all of them pair well with vegetables."

"Really?"

"Well…I mean there are some that have a texture that is either too delicate for the heavier vegetables like carrots or asparagus and the like. Do you have a picture or recipe I could take a look at?"

Neville dug into his book bag, pulled out the picture and handed it over. Harry examined the picture for a moment and smiled, "Oh, this shouldn't be a problem. Focaccia bread art is what this is called and yes, I can show you how to make your own."

* * *

After they got the shed cleaned up and locked, the two boys traipsed their way back to their dorm and dumped their stuff onto their respective beds.

"If you're up for it, I can show you how to make that focaccia bread now?"

Neville grinned, "Let's go."

Harry grabbed his baking book and led Neville to his workstation then started pulling out the ingredients. Neville was going to pull up a stool to watch but Harry stopped him. "Neville, I'm going to have you make it while I watch so you need to come around here."

"O, okay…"

"Relax Nev, it's sort of like Potions but without the hovering dungeon bat breathing down your neck. Prepare the ingredients and mix them together; if you make a mistake, it won't kill you by exploding." Harry chuckled at his friend's alarmed expression, "Here, wash your hands thoroughly with the soap and hot water. If you wash properly, it should take about twenty seconds." He demonstrated what he meant by 'properly.'

Neville took an apron and tied it on then leant over the sink to wash his hands. After he dried them on a towel, he looked expectantly at Harry.

"Now, you have the option of doing this the magical way or the muggle way. The magical way requires a bit of spellcasting while the muggle way achieves the same effect but takes longer."

Neville thought for a moment and sighed, "I want to do it the magical way but I'm no good with a wand so I guess the muggle way."

"Okay but after we're done, I think you should talk to Professor Flitwick about your wand."

"Why?"

"I took a look at it during our last Charms class and it looks rather beat up. There might be internal damage so it couldn't hurt to have the onsite expert in detecting magic to take a look at it. So in the meantime, we'll make the bread the muggle way. I tried making food with magic and frankly, it just doesn't taste as good; I don't know why though."

Neville agreed and prepared himself to follow Harry's directions.

"So, to begin with we need to proof the yeast which is to say that we want to bring it out of its dormant state. In a medium bowl, combine the yeast, warm water and the sugar. Mix it until it's combined and put it aside for about five minutes. In the meantime, you can start choosing some of the vegetables you want to use as a topping. I recommend doing something simple so maybe a small bouquet of flowers?" Neville agreed with that so Harry led him over to the cold storage.

"To make the flowers, you'll need a red onion thinly sliced. Chives or green onions make great stems; parsley and basil make great leaves. Cherry tomatoes sliced length-wise make great flower centers or left whole look good as seed pods. Rosemary and Thyme can be used as miniature plants and add a wonderful seasoning. You can even use deli meats like ham or pepperoni in the design."

"Wow, I had no idea that bread art could be so creative."

Harry laughed, "You have no idea."

* * *

After Neville finished selecting which vegetables he wanted, the yeast was proofed and ready to be mixed into the flour. Harry demonstrated briefly how to add the flour without causing a huge cloud of dust then let his friend try it out. Neville added the additional flour, olive oil, salt and the rest of the warm water and mixed it with a spoon until it was formed into a ball. Harry warned him that if the dough was still sticky to add a tablespoon of flour and keep mixing until it pulled away from the bowl cleanly. Once that was achieved it was mixed until the gluten formed. Harry described it as being ready when the surface bounced back when touched lightly.

"Okay, next we need to drizzle a bit of olive oil onto the dough and put it in a bowl then cover it so it can rise for a couple of hours."

"Hours?"

"Yup, muggles don't have a wand to cast magic to make things move faster, remember."

Neville sighed and nodded once decisively, "Okay, I guess during that time you'll teach me how to prepare the vegetables?"

Harry replied, "Yup. Here, take this onion and slice it thinly. It should be just barely thicker than a piece of paper."

By the time that Neville had finished cutting, slicing and carving the vegetables and meats how he wanted them, the dough had risen to double its original size. Harry pulled out a large baking pan and drizzled oil onto it and spread it around with a clean paper towel. He put that aside and turned on the oven to 230 C to get it preheating.

"So, put some oil on your hands to prevent the dough from sticking to them. Take the dough out of the bowl and stretch it to fit the pan. Don't worry if it bounces back, just let it relax for a few minutes then keep going."

Neville grabbed the dough and started stretching it. While he was doing that, Harry kept up a running commentary of some of the other things that he'd come across or heard from others about making bread, "Some bakers would want you to stretch it to fill the pan then cover it and leave it in the fridge to rest and develop more flavor. I've tried that and I've never detected a difference. It's just a matter of time and what else you have planned to do for the day."

"Okay, what's next?"

"Use your fingers and dimple the surface then drizzle yet more oil over the top making sure that the dimples get filled up and sprinkle the whole thing with some coarse sea salt."

"Lots of oil here."

"Yeah, but it's worth it. Finally we get to the decorating part. Arrange the vegetables how you want them to look." Once that was done, Neville slid the sheet into the oven and set the timer for twenty minutes to start, "Okay, let's get started on cleaning up while that's baking."

Twenty minutes later, the bread art came out of the oven golden brown with the vegetables crisp. Neville sliced off a piece and took a bite. His eyes closed and he let out a sigh of contentment, "Oh, my! This is _so good!"_

* * *

**March**

February ended with a breeze while March rolled in with an explosion of color of flowers and new plant growth of the surrounding landscape. The gardening club was such a rousing success to the point where Neville had to move the meeting place from the potter's shed to an empty classroom adjacent to Professor Sprout's classroom. He decided to go with a modified diy kit from what Harry had suggested in that each interested member of the club who paid five Sickles would receive their own starter kit that would cover the cost of pots, soil, a small handwritten care booklet and a small packet of easy to grow seeds. Harry volunteered his owl to run to Privet Drive to pick up the gardening supplies that Petunia had purchased for them after Harry wrote to her explaining what they needed. The proud look on Hedwig's face when she delivered her packages indicated that she loved every minute of the errand runs. As an added reward once the last package was delivered, Harry and Neville held a small party for the owl; showering her with praise, dancing around her while tossing handfuls of rose petals at her talons while she perched on her favorite roost and hooted her pleasure. Hermione just sat there and laughed at the silly boys' antics.

Harry held a few cooking shows that featured how to harvest and properly store the seeds from the winter vegetables and flowers used in his demonstrations. He later found out from Tiny that the public cook station now had a waiting list for the students who wanted to come in and try their hand at making a meal of their own based on what they learned during his shows.

* * *

Ronald Weasley managed to stay on the straight and narrow as best he could. He only had one slip up when he threatened to throw someone out the window but after the incident was investigated using memories and determined that Ron had been trying to study while the offending student, a second year Gryffindor in this case, was hassling him about being a traitor to the Light. Ronald was praised for keeping his cool (despite the words used) while the offender was put in detention for a week.

Hermione was once again asked to consider attending a Quidditch practice session by the Hufflepuff Captain but he was denied. She told him point blank that chasing after a golden walnut at breakneck speeds while someone was bashing a cannonball at her just didn't hold any appeal. "If you have anyone that wishes to set up an obstacle course like the one we had last year between Harry and I, then I _might_ be tempted."

Millicent Bulstrode was curious as to what her new exercise clothes looked like when she received the package care of Hermione Granger. It was a learning experience for sure after she put on the leggings then the leotard then laced up her new trainers. The neon orange spandex practically blinded her when she removed the lid to the box as did the sparkly leggings. She tied her hair back and examined herself in a mirror, _'Ha! If my parents saw me wearing this, I would've been disowned on the spot!'_ When she walked into the weight room, it felt like everyone was staring at her (they were). That staring soon went from her outfit to her routine as she began to bench press the dumbbells in smooth repetitions over her chest, the muscles in her arms flexing and becoming more pronounced. Several of the other girls marveled at her strength and stamina as she continued her circuit training around the room then hit the track for five laps. After her post-workout shower, Millie stood in front of the mirror to examine her physique. She flexed her arms and grinned at how powerful she looked, _'Look out world, here comes Millie Bulstrode!'_

* * *

**Second floor hallway, Hogwarts near the general education classrooms**

' _ **Hey, idiot! Unless your nappy is full, pull up your trousers!'**_

' _ **Give it up loser, she doesn't want flowers. Give her a shiny knut instead!**_

' _ **You look like a clown with all that paint on your face!'**_

' _ **Oi, Ugly! Somewhere in France, a castle is missing a gargoyle!'**_

Harry was struggling to hold himself up against a wall next to a painting of a cobra and giggling his head off at some of the rude and jeering comments being hissed at the crowds as they passed by. Hermione spotted him and hurried over.

"What's so funny, Harry?"

With a big grin still plastered on his face and wheezing from the exertion, Harry pointed to the cobra who was now insulting a group of Ravenclaws, "You know…that language ability…I have?" She nodded, "Well, this cobra painting…haha…has been hissing out insults and commentary on everyone who's been passing by. It's hilarious!"

' _ **Hey lardass! Food is meant to be eaten, not splattered across your robes!'**_

Harry let out a strangled snort, his eyes bugging out a bit as he stuffed his fist into his mouth as he finally sank to the floor in laughter. Hermione looked nonplussed, "More insults?" He could only nod rapidly, his eyes squeezed shut; squeaking and snorting his response.

* * *

**Staffroom, lunch time**

Filius had just entered the room when the smells of the food hit his nose. He inhaled deeply as he dropped into his favorite chair, "Mmmm…what is that heavenly aroma?"

"Smoked cheesesteak sandwiches," came the reply from Minerva who dabbed at her mouth with a napkin, "Another of Mr. Potter's creations."

"May I get a house-elf please?" he called out to the room at large.

An elf popped in a moment later, "Yes, sir?" It squeaked.

Filius pointed to the sandwich that Minerva was eating, "Would you see if Mr. Potter made more of those sandwiches and if he did, would you please bring me one plus a side order of crisps and a cup of tea?" The elf bowed and vanished. A few minutes later and the plate of food along with his cup of tea appeared on the side table next to him. He picked up the sandwich and took a bite, his eyes immediately closing in deep pleasure, "Oh, I think I've died and gone to culinary heaven…"

The others laughed at his comment. Pomona quipped, "Wait until you try his peppermint ice cream."

Filius' eyes grew large, "No… really?"

She nodded and took another bite of her sandwich. After swallowing she replied that he had made a large batch of it to test out the _glacius_ charm. Filius laughed and remarked that that was an _excellent_ real world usage of the charm!

When he called for the dessert to be delivered, Filius once again moaned about how his waistline was going to double in size if he weren't careful. The sinfully delectable ice cream was a light pink in color and topped with crushed red and white striped candy canes. He took a small scoop and savored the rich and creamy texture of the treat.

"Ten points to Harry Potter and his marvelous usage of the _glacius_ charm!"

* * *

_**While Filius was savoring his sweet dessert, others weren't as lucky…** _

**Ministry for Magic**

Dolores Umbridge was on a mission. The newspaper article from Skeeter was a good start but now she needed to visit the Heads of those families who would be the most offended by the mudbloods intruding into their world. She sneered at the memory of Lord and Lady Malfoy's shameful behavior to her presence and her perfectly understandable reactions to being snubbed by those despicable vermin at the party. _'Those elves should've punished themselves on the spot for their insolence. Then for that damned Goblin to take a witch's wand!'_ That rankled her the most; she'd had to go to him and apologize for creating a scene just to get it back then suffer the indignity of being asked to leave the event early. _'I also have to scratch the Malfoy family off my list. They're no longer a proper pureblood family. A shame really, they had such fine breeding until these so-called 'progressive' measures came around.'_

After visiting the offices of Nott, Yaxley, Parkinson and McLaggen Dolores was beginning to feel that there was a deeper conspiracy going on within the Ministry. Each of the Heads of those families had laughed in her face when she spoke about how the old ways were being trampled on by the mudbloods and blood traitors. Thaddeus Nott even called her 'a fool and out-of-touch!'

"Dolores, what you fail to realize is that ever since the start of September of last year, the traditions and old ways are actually being adhered to _better_ than ever thanks to the new Wizarding Customs and Etiquette class that's being taught at Hogwarts. My son has written to me about the program and invited me to take part in a couple of classroom scenarios."

"Surely you can't think that…" she tried but he interrupted her.

"The muggleborns have been at a disadvantage because of our own foolishness. They muddle along trying to fit in but have had no training that our own children get from the time that they're toddlers! It's one thing if their behaviors were intentional but from what I learned is that the traditions and customs that we hold onto are considered antiquated and no longer used. It's no wonder they consider us to be the backwater simpletons."

Dolores huffed, "As if! We are the shining beacon for all things magical while those animals scratch in the dirt."

Thaddeus leaned forward over his desk, "If that's true then where are our gleaming cities full of towers made from glass and steel, hmm? I, along with several other Dark family Heads, were offered a chance to visit London properly and I have to say that the description of those muggles scratching in the dirt and living in hovels is blatantly wrong. If anything, it is _we_ who continue scratching in the dirt to live in the small farming villages compared to our muggle counterparts."

"But…"

Thaddeus held up his hand to stop her from continuing, "I'm still a conservative member of the Wizengamot and would prefer if the muggleborn were to leave our world after they get enough training to control their magic but to think that the muggleborn and their modern ways are out to destroy our way of life is just ludicrous and I will not be party to whatever schemes you've concocted in that twisted mind of yours."

Dolores stood and straightened herself up as tall and imposing as she could (which wasn't all that much), "So that's it then? You're throwing your lot in with the blood-traitors and other filth? I had such high hopes that you and the others would remind the riff-raff just what it means to be pure." She stormed out of his office and slammed the door behind her.

Thaddeus stared at the closed door then shook his head as he moved over to the floo, "What an idiot."

* * *

**Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge's office**

"Thank you for the heads up, Thaddeus. I'll make sure that she's…contained." Cornelius ended the call and leaned back in his chair. After a moment contemplating what to do, he got up and headed outside. His musing took him to the Floo Network Authority department head, Charles Ackerly.

Cornelius knocked on the doorframe, "Chuck, you got a minute?"

Charles looked up in surprise, "Minister! Sure, come in and have a seat. This is unexpected; what's wrong?"

"I have a problem in the form of a squat witch who seems hell-bent on causing a ruckus."

Charles snorted indelicately, "What's The Toad done now?"

Cornelius raised an eyebrow, "The Toad? Heh, that's a good one. Frankly, she's been making insinuations that the headmaster of Hogwarts is angling for my job, the muggleborns are trampling all over our traditions and as far as I know are building an army to wipe out all purebloods."

Charles shook his head, "Idiot. So what do you need from me?"

Cornelius looked at the board that displayed every major floo node within the network, "What's the farthest anyone can floo?"

Charles looked skyward for a moment searching his memory, "Um…Dunquin, I think? Westernmost settlement in Ireland. You thinking of shipping her off to somewhere remote?"

Cornelius nodded, "Yes, preferably somewhere that it would be extremely difficult to travel to and from. Slow communication with the outside world, that sort of thing."

Charles got up and retrieved his copy of transport stations. He tapped the index with his wand and the pages flew by until it stopped and a map appeared. He smiled toothily, "Here we go. Just the right sort of out-of-the-way place too. The island of Tristan da Cunha, located in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean several thousand miles from Cape Town, South Africa. Only way in or out is by muggle boat and that only runs on a once a month schedule."

"What was it originally used for?"

Charles turned the page, "It was used as a portkey waypoint back in the early days of long distance transport. The station was abandoned when portkey cartography became more accurate but it shouldn't be too difficult to get the place back up and running."

"What about owl communications?"

"Weather is too harsh for them to travel safely that far south. Normally when we need to send an owl to South America, we send the owls to the closest separation of the two continents."

"Won't she suspect something isn't right when she gets to the station and sees what condition it's in?"

"Who is she going to complain to? The few muggles that live on the island know about the station and about magic in general but don't really care."

"Really? I would've thought that the Obliviators would've had a problem with it?"

Charles shrugged, "Not my call."

Cornelius nodded thoughtfully and rose to his feet, "Thanks, Chuck. I appreciate your help."

"Any time, Minister."

* * *

**Three days later**

Dolores Umbridge blinked as the maelstrom of magical portkey energy finished swirling around her and glanced around at the dusty and dingy room she was now standing in. The minister had said that he was in need of someone with her qualifications to run a secret outpost designed to spy on the comings and goings of a political rival in Cape Town, Africa. On the surface, it seemed to be a wonderful reassignment and she'd jumped at the chance to get away from that bug-infested swamp of Brazil. Now she wasn't so sure…

After poking around a bit and using her wand to clear away some of the dust and debris, she concluded that she'd been swindled. The map on the wall was faded but clearly out of date by at least a hundred years, there were no provisions in the pantry nor was there a floo connection (she'd find out later owls didn't come to the island if they could help it.) She tried to send a letter via portkey but discovered that it didn't work! _'I'm trapped here! There's got to be a magical way off this blasted hunk of rock!'_

She waddled out to the only town and demanded to board the ferry back to the mainland just to discover that it was only available once a month and that she had another two weeks before it arrived. She grew irate and demanded to speak with whoever was in charge but the dockmaster laughed at her before stating _he_ _was the one in charge!_

"That's not possible! I was told that you muggles were simple villagers and that I would be in charge. I demand you get someone to bring me food and supplies." She tried to cast an Imperious Curse at the man but nothing happened. The dockmaster lifted a pendant from under his shirt and grinned evilly. Staring between him and her wand in horror, she fled back to the station.

When it was clear that the Toad was no longer within hearing range, another man exited the harbor office shack and approached the dockmaster, "Everything clear, Governor?"

The now revealed Governor turned at the sound of the voice and grinned at the real dockmaster, "Thanks to the Ministry for Magic, it is now. It should be fun to see how that Toad likes living on the most remote island in the South Atlantic with a bunch of muggles and Squibs!"

"What about the station? Did the Ministry change the portkey registration?"

The Governor was still chuckling over the Toad's reaction to his lack of one to the Imperious curse, "Yup. All portkeys on and off the island chain are now useless."

The dockmaster gestured to the pendant around the Governor's neck, "So that's the Mind Protection pendant then; any chance we all can get one?"

The Governor looked it over and shrugged, "It's not actually real. When the Portkey Department arrived, they also brought some of those hooded beings from the Department of Mysteries. I don't know what all they did but the entire island is now warded against her magical signature. She can't cast any magic beyond first year level spells. I think we'll just make some local copies that only appear to be the same one. Let her infer that we're all protected. It'll just add to her paranoia."

* * *

**Daily Prophet Offices, Barnabus Cuffe Chief Editor**

"Rita! Get in my office!"

Rita entered with a curious look on her face; it was unusual for Barny to demand her presence in his office. He usually just yelled out the door, "Yes, sir?"

Barnabus held up the paper that contained her article blasting the Ministry and Hogwarts and growled, "You care to explain how this garbage got past me and the other proofreaders?"

"You had already left for the night; I didn't want to disturb you at home for such a simple article."

Barnabus rolled his eyes and sneered at his reporter, "I just got off the floo with the Minister and he's been calling for someone's head on a platter for those 'baseless insinuations.' I don't want to fire you since you have potential to become a good reporter. I'm reassigning you to Page Temple's old column now that she's retired."

Rita's eyes went wide and she screeched, " _Page Temple?!_ She ran the gardening column! You can't do this to me! This is outrageous! You actually want me, your star reporter, to cover such boring things like the next tea parties and blossom sales?"

Barnabus scrubbed his face with his hands, leant back in his chair and held his arms out wide, "It's only temporary and until the heat blows over, Rita. Heck, think of it as a paid vacation if you want. Everyone enjoys a trip out to the countryside. Now get going."

* * *

**Portsmouth Harbor, England**

Peter Pettigrew, recent escapee from the Ministry of Magic was currently on a mission of his own. He was holed up underneath a dive bar in Portsmouth and contemplating what his next move should be. After his arrest and subsequent closed door trial, he had been found guilty of numerous charges including being a Death Eater, the betrayal and murder of the Potters, the murder of twelve muggles. He'd been sentenced to life in Azkaban and was in the process of being transported there to the ferry when he knocked the guard over and escaped the prisoner transfer tunnels by changing into his rat form. Since the guards had no hope of intercepting him and because they didn't want to be reprimanded for letting him escape, they logged the disturbance as a rough landing. (One guard managed to ensnare a bird and transfigured into a reasonable resemblance to Peter which they handed over to the prison officials.)

So now, Peter had a decision to make. Did he want to try and find his Master and live the life of a servant or did he want to just escape to some far-flung land and be free of his past? _'Seriously this ought to be an easy choice, Pete.'_ A voice sounding awfully similar to James Potter rattled in his head. _'What has serving Voldemort really gotten you? A life of pain and suffering if you did something to displease him? No friends or family left in the UK so why not try somewhere fresh?'_

Peter transformed back into his human form and found a travel agency located near the docks. He was perusing the brochures when the agent asked if there were something he could assist with?

Peter sighed, "I want to go somewhere fresh and start over. My life here has been one failure after another."

"Any particular climate you're interested in? Do you prefer the city or the country? Temperate or tropical? Sparsely or densely inhabited?"

After answering the agent's questions that he was looking for something opposite to what life was like here in Britain, the agent suggested Australia. It was a modern industrialized nation, plenty of open space to disappear into, warm climate, beautiful two-legged wildlife (said with a wink).

"How much would it cost to board a ship to get there?"

The agent looked surprised, "A ship? Well, it depends on your budget but an airplane would be much faster, you know."

Peter looked uncomfortably down briefly at his feet, "I couldn't begin to afford a ticket on an airplane. I was hoping to trade some labor for passage on a freighter."

Finally understanding, the agent looked through his books and recommended a freighter company who was always willing to give the unfortunate a chance. With the information in hand, Peter sought out the appropriate dock.

Australia beckoned.

* * *

**[A/N2: So instead of following the 'standard' route of Peter trying to search for his old Master and bring about the Second Rise of Voldemort; I felt that he needed a change of scenery. Can you just picture a wheezy, out of shape Peter Pettigrew sweating his arse off herding sheep in the Outback or something after 40+ days at sea?]**

**Recipes:**

Roasted Tomato Soup (mention only, Yummly)

Focaccia Bread with vegetable art (Google)

Smoked Cheesesteak Sandwich (mention only, Better be Grilled Channel on YouTube)

Peppermint Ice Cream (mention only, recommended by reader RoyalCrimsonCloak)


	17. Springtime Socials, The Room and the Night Sky

**Chapter 17: Springtime Socials, The Room and The Night Sky**

**Headmaster's Office**

The senior staff assembled in Daggerclaw's office for their monthly procedural meeting. They started off with the usual 'old business' gripes and complaints; usually stemming from inadequate or outdated equipment, lack of funding or various other reasons. Ever since Daggerclaw had taken over however, those gripes and complaints had become fewer and further apart.

Aurora Sinastra tapped on the table to get everyone's attention, "I would like to submit my proposal for obtaining new telescopes. The current models being sold in Diagon Alley are wholly unsuitable given the expectations of today's muggleborns. I've brought with me sample images taken from muggle telescopes and comparative images taken from our own models. As you can see, there can only be one conclusion: our telescopes are utter garbage! The manufacturing quality of the muggle scopes is miles above and away anything we could hope to achieve." She passed out color images taken from the non-magical world.

There were gasps and exclamations of how detailed the images were then when they looked at the magical photos realized how blurry and indistinct the exact same image was.

"Why wasn't this brought to my attention before?" Daggerclaw inquired as he examined a high resolution image of the Eagle Nebula.

"I've been waiting for the Americans to fix their orbital telescope," was her response.

Eyebrows went up, "You mean to tell us that the Americans have put a telescope into orbit around the Earth? How do they look through the lens?" Pomona asked curiously.

Aurora began explaining how stellar photography worked and the advancements made by various countries in conjunction with each other over the years. One by one, each of the senior teachers could be seen shaking their heads in disbelief.

Aurora growled in frustration as she ran her fingers through her hair, "What I would love to do is to take a field trip to the Royal Observatory in London and let you all witness the modern advancements yourselves but as it's been pointed out to me many times; there's no money for the trip and the 'muggles just _can't_ be so much more advanced than we are.' I can accept the money part but the tripe about the muggles? I refuse to accept that. I've _been_ to the muggle world to see their advancements for myself."

The staff nodded in understanding and personal approval. Daggerclaw tapped on the table, "As it happens, I do believe the school does have the funds to be able to purchase new telescopes _and_ allow you to take the students, and staff if they wish, to this observatory and planetarium."

That got everyone's attention.

"As with a lot of things around here, all one needs to do is ask those who are most knowledgeable about the school. The elves have informed me of a room on the seventh floor, known as the 'Come and Go Room.' They say it's the school's lost and found and contains huge amounts of riches such as jewels, furniture, equipment, you name it."

Minerva looked puzzled, "Perhaps after this meeting we should go and investigate this room? I'm most curious as to what else might be inside." Daggerclaw allowed for this.

"I think the first thing that should occur is a parental permission slip for this field trip. If we don't get enough slips, there would be no need to plan further," Severus observed to which Aurora accepted.

"That's fair. I'll get some made up."

"Another thing for consideration is transport to and from the observatory. How would you bring let's say forty or fifty people at once?"

"Portkey?"

Aurora squinted in thought, "I would have to scout ahead to see if there are any protected areas to hide our arrival but I think a large-scale Portkey would be the best bet."

Daggerclaw motioned for their attention, "Proceed with your scouting trip and report back by our next meeting." Aurora bowed her head in agreement.

"Next item up for discussion: I have a list of students who wish to hold an 'open house' of sorts. They wish to open up the castle and the grounds to all parents, magical and non; the media, the ministry and beyond. It has been suggested that we've been hiding ourselves away from public scrutiny for far too long. The social gatherings we've held this year and last were a great success but now the students feel that we should be taking the next step."

"How would we bring the guests in? Hogwarts Express? Does it have enough carriages to handle all the people?"

"That is something we'd have to look into," Minerva replied, "I do think that the magical parents, media and ministry could floo into the castle via the Great Hall while the non-magical parents or those who don't wish to floo could use the train. It would save time and effort; we'd just have to adjust the wards.

"Headmaster, what do they mean by 'beyond?' Who else could we invite?" Flitwick interjected.

Daggerclaw retrieved a sheet of paper, "I have here a suggestion from a first year Ravenclaw, Isobel MacDougal that we should invite the Queen of England and her staff."

"…" Rapid blinking accompanied the deafening silence of the room.

"Th, the Quee-Queen? Would she be receptive to the idea?"

"That is one task that we would need to investigate before we even consider going further with this 'open house' idea."

The staff began murmuring amongst themselves about the possibility of including the Royal Family into their world.

Charity Burbage knocked on the table, "In the end, we are _all_ British subjects. As long as we are polite about our request, I don't think it'd be too much of a problem. I've been informed by my friends within the Ministry that the Queen has full knowledge of our existence."

* * *

_**After the meeting…** _

Minerva strode up the stairs until she reached the seventh floor and looked around. She rarely had the need to come up this high and never to this particular hallway. She called for a house-elf and one popped in.

"How can Katy help?"

"Katy, I've been given to understand that there is a lost and found room of sorts located on this floor that the elves know about. Would you help me understand what it is?"

Katy led Minerva over to the wall opposite of the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy trying to teach Trolls to dance. She explained how to activate the magics to reveal the door.

Minerva's eyes narrowed in thought, "So I just have to think of what I want? Anything I want?"

Katy shrugged, "Within reason. There are limits to what the Room can be doing. No food or drink can be made within and anything made within will disappear the moment you is be leaving. Also, if you wish to leave the door will disappear and the Room will reset itself."

Minerva accepted the explanation then paced back and forth in front of the wall thinking that she wanted the room where everything is hidden. On the third pass, Katy alerted her to the suddenly appearing door.

Minerva opened the door and strode in, only to stop three steps into the room in shock and hushed awe at the mountains of detritus that had accumulated over the centuries. Her sharp eyes spotted baskets of jewels, racks of clothing of various eras, rolled up tapestries, damaged furniture and more. She slowly shook her head and knew at once that organizing this would be a major undertaking.

"Katy? How long would it take the elves to sort through and organize everything in here?"

Katy peered around, her large ears drooping, "It would take months at least, Professor Kitty. All the elves would have to be on-hand."

Minerva slowly nodded and led the elf out of the room and let the door closed behind her.

* * *

_**Daggerclaw's Office…** _

"…There are centuries worth of materials and detritus contained within that hidden room, Headmaster. Katy has said that it would take all the elves months to sort through and organize. That being said, I would like to bring in outside help," Minerva finished explaining what all she'd discovered in her brief foray into the Room of Hidden Things.

Daggerclaw leant back in his chair and laced his long fingers together, "Whom did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking that we should contact the Department of Mysteries. I'm certain that there would be some Dark artifacts within the room that we as regular teachers would have no defense against. I would also suggest that we take the Sorting Hat as well." Both turned to the Hat who peered back at them curiously.

"Why me, Minerva?" The Hat inquired.

"To act as a verbal connection to the castle and perhaps the room. If the castle is as sentient as we all like to think she is then it would prudent to take you along so she has a voice."

The Hat appeared to think about this then nodded once, "A very logical and astute assumption. She and I would appreciate this."

* * *

**Mathematics-General Education class**

The problem sitting before Harry was frustrating beyond comprehension. If only it was something simple like fractions or decimals, _that_ he could handle; it was no different from what he used in cooking. Why the heck would he care what X was and how it interacted with Y?

Harry was sitting at his desk reading his textbook trying to get the concept of his algebraic formulas to sink into his thick skull. He growled and gave it up as a bad job for the moment and set his book down on his desk and glanced around the room for any sort of welcome distraction. He spotted Hermione busily working her way through the assignment without any problems; Millicent too, was scratching away at the third problem on the list. While the teacher's back was turned, Seamus Finnegan of Gryffindor House launched a paper airplane towards Terry Boot of Ravenclaw. Harry sighed and reached for the textbook again when he heard a noise coming from behind him.

"Psst! Harry? You…you got a moment?" Harry turned to see Ronald Weasley looking hopefully at him.

"If you need help on the assignment, I'm afraid you're out of luck. I'm having a tough time figuring it out myself." Ron's face fell in sadness. "What about asking Millie or Pansy?"

Ron paled and shuddered at the mention of the Slytherin girls' names, "Umm…never, never mind."

Harry raised an eyebrow in silent confusion but let it be. If Weasley was having problems, it wasn't his job to sort the redhead out. He leant his head back and stared at the ceiling hoping that a change in view might help dislodge something loose but it just still wouldn't come to him.

His teacher made her rounds and stopped at Harry's desk a moment later, "Are you finished, Mr. Potter?"

He shook his head, "No, I'm trying an alternative viewpoint to see if I can solve the problem by not thinking about it."

She chuckled lightly, "I've tried that. It doesn't always work."

* * *

After class, Harry wandered around until he got to the Great Hall Quad and found an unoccupied bench. He pulled out an apple he'd been saving since lunch and bit into the crispy and cool fruit. He had been sitting there only for a few moments when a shadow fell over him. Looking up he saw Hermione sitting astride her favorite school broom wearing goggles and a beaming smile on her face.

"You wanna go flying with me, Harry?" she asked.

Harry shook his head and laughed, "The last time I went flying with you, you outflew me so easily one could think you cheated! No, I'm just going to sit here and think about what I did wrong on the algebra assignment."

"Spoilsport. Fine, I'm gonna go see if the Gryffindors are airborne."

"Why not our own House?"

Hermione glanced around nervously, "Because they can't fly very well. They don't see flying as a challenge, rather more of a 'gentlemanly' pursuit. The Gryffs on the other hand, see it as a pure competition."

Harry grinned at his best friend, "Well, good luck in your search."

* * *

**Quidditch Pitch**

Hermione was in luck. The Gryffindor team was currently using the pitch so she angled her broom up and climbed until she was directly overhead then dove down on the Chaser formation sun side. The Chasers, collectively known as the 'Flying Foxes,' scattered mid-play when one of them noticed at the last minute the attacking, diving firstie. Hermione pulled up out of her dive at the last minute and heeled around sharply to intercept the Beaters, Fred and George as they whacked a Bludger at her to try and throw her off her broom. She spun a tight barrel-roll and transitioned into a Sloth-grip before flipping herself up and back on the broomstick. She then intercepted the Quaffle and made a mad dash for the upper left hoop. The Gryffindor Keeper, Oliver Wood tried to intercept her but she ducked his outstretched hands and sped through the hoop setting off the scoring alarm.

Pulling up to a hovering stop and pushing her goggles up onto her forehead, she grinned widely at the Lions who were staring unabashedly at her play. Oliver pulled up to berate her, "Just _what_ do you think you were doing? What kind of play do you think you were pulling? How did you get the scoring alarm to sound when you were still holding the Quaffle?"

"I was trying to get a bit of competition going, I made it up as I went along, I bounced the Quaffle out of my grip just long enough to let the hoop sense that the ball was in play." She responded to each of his questions in sequence, still with that manic grin on her face. Oliver looked rather stunned as he tried to sort out her answers. The Twins were howling with laughter while the Chasers were shaking their collective heads at her antics.

"Hermione? Why us? I mean, why not train with the Puffs?" George asked as he continued to laugh.

Her manic grin slid off her face, "The Puffs are frankly a terrible team and it's not so much Quidditch that interests me, it's the competition. Quidditch itself is horribly mismanaged and skewed towards capturing the Snitch. I just like to fly and unfortunately there are no obstacle courses here unless you count slaloming the guest review stands."

The Gryffindors could understand her frustration, "So you flew over and interfered with our practice because you were _bored?_ "

"Pretty much."

"Why not speak with Madam Hooch about setting up an obstacle course?"

"I've tried! She's too busy with her flying lessons with the other firsties. She did set up one course for me but I defeated that within the first week. I need a challenge and by all accounts, that's you guys." Hermione complained.

The Gryffindor team took a moment by themselves to discuss this new development. Oliver pulled out the school's Quidditch rulebook and looked through it to see if there was anything against a member of another House playing for an opposing team but found nothing.

"It could just because no one's ever thought of trying it," Fred reasoned to which George nodded thoughtfully.

Oliver shook his head, "I don't like it but her talent is incredible. We need to seek a higher authority for this."

* * *

**Minerva's Office**

The Lions plus Hermione trooped over to Professor McGonagall's office and explained the problem to the Scotswoman. She looked pensive during the whole thing before speaking, "Myself, I wouldn't have a problem if you wished to play against the team during a practice but for an actual game? I'm going have to deny your request. It would upset too many people and traditions to be allowed to happen. Miss Granger, I know that the Puff's Captain has sought you out repeatedly; why not give your team a chance?"

Hermione flopped back in her seat and let loose a frustrated sigh, "Like I told Harry, the Puffs view Quidditch as a 'gentlemanly' pursuit and not something to be too competitive about. I need something involving flying that challenges me; which is why I would love to have an obstacle course that changes patterns after each run."

Minerva blinked, "An automatic, ever-changing obstacle course? That's a novel idea…"

Hermione gestured with her hands as if to say, 'Right?'

"If this were possible, where… wait, I think I have an idea as to where you might be able to do this. All of you; follow me." She got up and led the group from her office and towards the stairs.

* * *

**Seventh Floor, Room of Requirement**

"Now, I'm about to show you a secret of the school that before now only the elves have had any real inkling of an idea as to its capabilities. Opposite this tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy is a hidden room; a Room of Requirement. It's able to reconfigure itself based on the user's needs."

"How do you activate it?"

"You, or whomever is creating the room within, needs to think carefully about what they're trying to recreate and pass back and forth in front of this wall three times. For example, 'I need a room to fly a broom through an ever changing obstacle course.'" She said this repeatedly as she passed by the wall three times. On the third pass, a door materialized out of thin air to the collective gasps of the kids. Minerva opened the door and led them inside.

The room was immense. There was really no other word to describe the sheer size of the space created. The terrain was constantly shifting; sometimes within minutes, other times the terrain lasted longer. There were crevasses, caves, tunnels, trees, waterfalls and more. The team took their brooms to the sky and tried out the course, marveling at how quick they needed to be to keep from being whacked out off their brooms by flailing tree branches or golems in various shapes and sizes. When they all landed, breathless and excited; Hermione thanked the professor profusely.

"One thing I wish to stress, Miss Granger. Until you get more skilled at flying, I do not wish you to be up here alone. I want you fully kitted out with Quidditch armor as well. You will need to have an older student or preferably a staff member keep watch; is that understood?"

Hermione beamed, "Yes, ma'am."

"One last bit of information. The course difficulty can be adjusted up to Level Ten. Do _not_ try to attempt that without an adult present."

"Yes, ma'am."

Katie Bell raised her hand, "Professor? Can this room simulate weather conditions as well?" Minerva nodded to which the Chasers and Oliver got excited. "Just think of the practices we could hold if we can control the conditions!"

Minerva led them out of the Room of Requirement and showed them how when the last person left the room, the door de-materialized and became hidden once more.

"Is this something that we need to keep a secret or can we tell our friends about it?"

Minerva thought about it, "I don't see why you can't tell anyone about the Room. Just try to keep the crowds to a maximum of ten people." The others agreed.

* * *

**Hufflepuff Common Room, later in the evening**

Hermione pounced on Harry as he relaxed on the couch in front of the fireplace, "Harry! You won't believe what happened to me today!"

Harry scrunched his face up in thought, "Mmm…let's see. Oh, you got married! No, wait! You've discovered the entrance to the legendary Chamber of Secrets and had a tea party with the monster inside," She cocked her head and gave him her patented 'Death Glare.'

"Zip it, Potter. No, I went and practiced a bit with the Gryffs like I said I would and after a bit of play we went to see if Professor McGonagall would allow me to continue practicing Quidditch with them. As it turns out, I can't but that led her to show us a room that changes based on the user's need! I can now create as many obstacle courses to my heart's content." Her eyes were glittering with excitement.

Harry was impressed, "Neat. So what else can this room do?"

She shrugged, "I don't know yet. I want to go back after class tomorrow and investigate further." She flopped down on the couch next to him and leant up against him, sighing in contentment.

* * *

**A Week Later**

Aurora Sinastra entered Daggerclaw's office with a sheaf of paperwork in her hands and a big smile on her face. He gestured for her to take a seat and told her to wait a moment while he finished filling out a last form he was working.

"Ok," he said as he signed the form and put it aside, "What's gotten you in such a tizzy?"

Aurora smirked, "I've gotten the documentation for the observatory field trip. A two way, password activated Portkey has been issued to me and copies of the parental permission slips."

"Assuming you get the parents' permission, when would this trip take place?"

"I'd like it to happen within the next week or so."

"Is there some sort of celestial event that's going to occur during that timeframe?"

She shook her head, "No but that's when the observatory is hosting a guest speaker, a new display of stellar photography and the improved Hubble Telescope images."

Daggerclaw looked over the documentation once more pensively, "Well… you have my approval for this venture. It's a shame that I cannot go along with you, I would like to have seen this in person but someone needs to stay behind and monitor those who didn't get permission."

Permission slips were sent home via the school owls and Aurora's students were excited and hopeful that their parents' or guardians would come through. The returning owls brought a whole new excitement as the slips had been signed as well as a couple of notes from the muggle parents who offered their services as chaperones for the trip. That surprised Aurora but made for a welcome addition to her planning. She had stressed over whether or not she might need to bring a couple of elves to make sure the students stayed together but this new development took the load off her mind.

* * *

The day of the trip came and everyone who'd had permission lined up to take hold of the Portkey chain. With a whispered activation phrase, the crowd was whisked off to Marylebone Road.

"All right, listen up!" Aurora announced as the children turned to face her, "I want you all on your _best_ behavior. This field trip is being used as a test to see if we can integrate ourselves into the non-magical world without attracting too much attention as well as a potential learning experience for future classes. Please do not touch anything unless the docent or an official sign says it's okay to do so. Everyone's wand needs to remain in their holster, pocket or purse. I do not want to have to call in the Obliviators because you were careless." She peered at all of their wide-eyed expressions, "At lunch time, we will all gather at the front lawn where the elves will provide the food. Are there any questions?"

An adult hand went up in the back.

"Yes, Mrs. Dursley was it?"

Petunia nodded, "Yes, will the elves be able to disguise themselves to either not be seen or appear as human to the other patrons?"

Aurora understood this concern, "As it happens, the area designated for us has been warded to exclude those not in the know about magic. I don't completely understand _how_ they did it but the elves set it up. They won't be seen." Petunia accepted this and laid her hand on Harry's shoulder.

The Hogwarts contingent streamed into the observatory agog with wonder. The very first thing that was pointed out was a scale model of the solar system engraved in the concrete pavement. It had a marker indicating where the sun's position was and spreading out from there was an engraved line representing the orbit and planetary marker for Mercury, Venus and Earth; all the way out to Pluto in concentric rings; all set to scale. A couple of the kids ran to the different orbits to make it easier to see the distances in one go yet it was still immensely difficult to imagine the sheer distances involved! Once inside the building proper, Aurora handled getting the tickets to the next planetarium showing while the other chaperones led their charges around the Observatory.

Their first stop was the Hall of the Eye which held exhibits on the history and development of the human exploration of the sky and cosmos starting with the most primitive tools, our own eyes. From there the exhibit progressed all the way up to the most modern of tools, the newly repaired Hubble Deep Space Telescope. Draco was not the only one of the many magically raised who could barely comprehend just how advanced the muggles were in comparison to the magical view of the heavens. He was seen slowly shaking his head in continuous wonder, his eyes wide and not a bit fearful of all the information his senses were taking in.

Petunia moved up next to him and knelt down to his level, "Mr. Malfoy? Is there a problem?"

Draco turned his stupified expression to her, "How can we cope with all of this?" He gestured to the room around them, "All my life I've been told that the muggles are nothing more than animals scratching in the dirt. This blows all that away! I…I don't know if I can continue. My head is starting to hurt."

Petunia gave him a one-armed hug around his shoulders and led him off to a bench where he could sit and compose himself. He ended up getting joined by most of the other Slytherins suffering from the same culture shock. He switched places with Millie and sat down next to Pansy and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Pansy?"

"Hmmm?"

"How can we tell our fathers that everything they've ever taught us is just plain wrong?"

Pansy let loose a nervous shiver of dread, "I don't know but I'm terrified to do so. Maybe Mrs. Dursley might have an idea?"

* * *

Hermione was checking herself out in a monitor that displayed not her true image but one based on the amount of heat she was generating. Harry sidled up next to her and commented, "Wow, Hermione! You look hot!" She immediately blushed and whapped him on the arm, "You do realize what you said?"

His only response was a heart-stopping lop-sided grin that made her knees weak.

"You prat," she admonished him and wrapped her arms around him as he laughed and led them both over to see the display of the Tesla Coil with Neville and a couple of others.

* * *

When they finally re-gathered together for the planetarium showing, Draco had recovered his wits for the most part. They filed into the theater and found their seats whispering about all they'd seen as the lights went down. Silence filled the room until the docent began his show. The projector rose out of its housing and the projected sky darkened, "We often imagine ourselves at the center of things. That includes our place in the universe…"

Tears formed in the corner of Draco's eyes as he took in the incredible wonder of not just the show but the newfound knowledge of what he wanted to do with his life from that point forward.

As the children and parents exited the theater and headed to the front lawn to have lunch; everyone was chattering about what they'd seen and learned. Nearly every pureblood was asking questions that never would've occurred to them had they stayed in the castle. Aurora was practically glowing with professional and personal pride that her endeavor had worked so well.

Their next to last stop was a new exhibit that showcased the Deep Sky Project. It was a huge room featuring one entire floor to ceiling wall that contained all of the stars, nebulae, and galaxies that could be seen defined through telescopes. A couple of exhibits had weight scales that would show how much you would weigh depending on which planet you were standing on along with some general information and pictures. Other exhibits included meteorites, cloud chambers and lunar photography.

"Hey, Aunt Petunia?" Harry asked his aunt, "I bet Uncle Remus would love to see the exhibit on Lunar photography."

She smiled, "He probably would."

* * *

_**Back at Hogwarts…** _

Their trip over, the returning students were tired yet practically fizzing with newly gained intelligence on how the cosmos worked and the advancements made over the centuries. Draco and the other Gryffindors dragged themselves up the many stairs and into their respective dorms. His mind still whirling from everything he'd learned today and crashing face-down on his bed, not even bothering to get changed; he was out before his head hit the pillow. The Ravenclaws were still chattering about what they'd seen and learned; many were collating the information and the notes they'd taken along with whatever brochures and books they'd picked up from the gift shop. The Puffs dropped into the couches and chairs and just spent some time communing in relative silence, occasionally broken by a reminiscing thought. Harry disappeared into the kitchens for a while then returned bearing a tray of cinnamon pastries with Tiny bearing a large container of hot chocolate.

It was down in the Slytherin Common Room where the most intense discussions of the events of the day were being held. Those who didn't get to go along on the field trip were arguing vehemently that there was no way the muggles were capable of all that had been described. Those who did get to go were standing toe to toe with the deniers.

"Flint, you're an idiot. If you had just gotten parental permission, you would've seen with your own eyes what marvels awaited us there!"

"And I'm saying that the muggles are just not smart enough to do all that! They're dirty, disgusting animals who scratch in the dirt and live in hovels. If we can't put anything up in space, the muggles surely couldn't."

Eye rolls dominated the responses of those who went on the trip.

* * *

**The next monthly staff meeting**

Aurora was all smiles at the next meeting where the others congratulated her on a successful field trip to the muggle world and with her students. Daggerclaw tapped the table to get everyone's attention, "In addition to Aurora's success, I have some other good news. The Ministry has agreed to a 'Springtime Social' event to be held here at the castle. This means that officials from all over the world, the media, the parents and yes, even the Royal family has been invited to attend." Shock and murmurs were heard.

"I think this would be a great boon to our continuing efforts of revamping and modernizing our curriculum and the school itself. We will need to coordinate with everyone to get the castle itself and the grounds cleaned and spruced up to be at its best for showing. The event will also be potentially beneficial as it will allow us to bring to light whatever deficiencies still exist within the castle."

Severus made a motion for attention, "It will also bring our detractors who think we're pushing too hard to change from tradition. What are we going to do about that?"

"To not adapt to the ever changing modern world is to beggar the possibility of our own extinction. More and more muggleborn are coming into our world and with them come new ideas and challenges. If those families wish to remain in the past, it's up to them but I for one will not let the small-minded drag us back to the Dark Ages," remarked Minerva vehemently as the others agreed.

"When would this 'Springtime Social' take place?"

"If everything can be made ready in time, the Minister and I were hoping to hold it in May," commented the Headmaster.

* * *

**Dinnertime, Great Hall**

Before the food was served, Daggerclaw got up and climbed the steps to the podium, "May I have your attention, please. Before we begin our meal, I wish to announce an event that will be taking place in May. Hogwarts will be hosting a 'Springtime Social' where guests from the Ministry as well as around the world and your guardians and parents will be invited to attend. They will be able to visit you and see how your classes are run, get to speak with you about your aspirations and dreams as well as take note of any complaints you may have about the way the school is run."

He outlined some of the events that would take place during the Social; like Quidditch exhibition games, broom flying obstacles courses (that got Hermione's attention), the kitchens would be open to any and all to witness the cooking talents of the elves and Mr. Potter (who blushed). "Additionally, this event will give you all the chance to demonstrate your skill in magic without fear of reprisal from the Ministry. We want you to show off, within reason. You will get to speak with representatives from all magical disciplines and trades as well as politicians from across the world."

The murmurs from the students were loud enough that Daggerclaw had to tap the annunciator again.

"I am almost finished, please keep your comments down to a dull roar," he admonished to a bit of laughter, "To continue, our previous social engagements like the Valentine's Day Ball have been a rousing success in the past and it's time we held another one. One other major point I wish to stress; amongst the other important politicians and international guests and thanks to the suggestion by Miss Isobel MacDougal, we sent out and received an affirmative response that the Royal Family will be in attendance."

Deafening silence… then all eyes swung over to where a pale-faced Isobel was sitting with her mouth dangling open.

She squeaked, "They actually accepted my idea?!"

Daggerclaw nodded, "You should feel proud, Miss MacDougal. From what my contacts have said, it's exceedingly rare for such an honor to take place."

"On that note, the Social will take place in May so we have just a little over a month to get the castle and the grounds in shape and cleanliness. The elves will be working as hard as they ever have so please don't add to their workload."

* * *

**May's Spring Social**

The castle walls and floor had been scrubbed to within an inch of their rocky lives, the windows polished to a high sheen, the ceiling as well as all of the suits of armor, tapestries and everything else within the castle had been cleaned and readied for the impending arrival of their guests. Harry had worked in conjunction with Tiny and the other Kitchen Elves to make sure the pantries, workstations and ingredients were at their absolute best. Neville had shown the initiative (that surprised no one who knew him) and coordinated with his gardening club to sweep out and organize the greenhouses. With his natural flora magics, he got the more dangerous plants to calm down and not try to attack everyone that came close or passed by on whatever assignment they had (Pomona took notice and vowed to see if she could promote him to help her with more advanced work.)

Various other students were seen performing their tasks with nary a complaint or hassle. Ron Weasley put his recently acquired knowledge of farm labor practices into use by assisting in corralling the Care of Magic Creatures exhibit animals into their pens. When observed at how good he was doing in his assignment, Professor Kettleburn praised his efforts and told him that his new job was to care and feed the Class X and XX animals. Ron beamed with pride and couldn't wait to tell his parents! Draco was in the kitchens alongside Harry and a few others making their signature dishes. In Draco's case, he was making pizzas and calzones. He made varieties of each, all the way down to the dessert pizzas. He even made something he called 'pizza cones.' Harry wandered over when he heard about the blonde Gryffindor's new creation and inquired about it.

Draco shrugged a shoulder, "It's nothing special, really. All I did was take a funnel and wrapped a pizza crust dough around the outside then partially baked it. After that, I wrapped it in tinfoil then filled in the cone with sauce, cheese and a variety of toppings, flipped over the funnel so that the newly made cone rested inside then finished the baking."

Harry shook his head, "That's the thing, Draco. I never would've thought of doing that. You've just surpassed me in culinary creativity! According to everyone here, that's an incredible honor." He left the blonde boy in a state of shock.

Down in the Grand Baths of Hogwarts, Millie was busy coordinating with the elves to clean and repair the weightlifting machines as well assisting by putting out brochures and information packets about what benefits there were for working out in conjunction with learning magic. Every now and then, she'd take a break and use the bench press machine or the pull down bars just to revel in how it made her muscles bulge.

Dean Thomas was busy coordinating the making of banners and signs as well as putting the finishing touches on them. Anyone who saw him, saw a kid completely in his element. Daggerclaw stopped and watched for a while before making a note that there should be a tent set up dedicated to Magical Arts and Crafts.

The Unspeakables had stopped by the month prior and had gone through the Room of Hidden Things with a fine toothed comb looking for Dark Objects. If they did find anything, no one except Daggerclaw was told. The rest of the items within the room were organized based on type and labeled accordingly. In the Obstacle course configuration, Hermione put on the finishing touches to a particularly complicated run then locked it in place. She wasn't the only one to have a room to configure. Minerva had taken it upon herself to recreate historic moments of the Castle over the past thousand years since its inception (The Hat coordinating with the Castle was a big help in that regard.)

"Who knew that Godric Gryffindor had such a reedy voice? I would've thought that trait would've gone to Salazar…"Minerva commented to the Hat who hummed in acknowledgement.

On the front lawn, wizarding tents had been set up as focal points for various student interests and clubs as well as an active display of magical prowess in creating the seemingly impossible. Many a non-magically raised had commented that the tents reminded them of the TARDIS from Doctor Who. Argus made sure that the Grand Baths of Hogwarts were in their peak condition as well as making sure the portraits were repaired and functioning.

Finally all the work and preparation was set. It was the morning of the Social and most everyone had quickly headed off to their assigned spots after breakfast. In the distance, the school population heard the whistle from the Hogwarts Express. They were ready…

* * *

Daggerclaw stood waiting in the Great Hall along with the rest of the senior staff not otherwise assigned. They would be on hand to greet those coming in by Floo. The Grand Hearth's fire flared green as Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge was first through. He greeted everyone and shook Daggerclaw's hand.

"Thank you for inviting me to attend this Social, Headmaster."

Daggerclaw bowed lightly, "You're welcome, Minister. If you would just step this way, we can get the rest of the travelers through quickly." Once Fudge was out of the way, the fire flared green again and began disgorging the mass of parents, dignitaries and other magical guests.

* * *

_**Down at the Hogsmeade Train Platform…** _

It was Minerva's job as Deputy to handle and direct the guests who didn't wish to (or couldn't) floo from the train carriages and onto the Thestral-pulled carts. A few non-magical guests stopped to stare at the strange creatures and asked Minerva what they were.

"You can see them?" she asked in surprise as they nodded in response, "Well, to answer your question, they are a carnivorous species of winged horses. They have excellent directional senses and our herd has been tamed and trained to pull the carts. They will be explained in further detail at our Care of Magical Creatures exhibit."

Just then they all heard the thumping of something flying overhead. All heads turned upwards as they spotted the trio of helicopters heading in their direction. The muggle parents knew what they were and excitedly chattered about who it could possibly be. The magical parents crowded around them to find out what those strange machines were. Minerva finally managed to get them all onto the carriages and sent up to the school.

* * *

**Main Courtyard Lawn**

Rubeus Hagrid, recently returned from his 'working vacation' at the Romanian Dragon Preserve guided the three strange flying vehicles in for a landing. He didn't know what they were but it didn't really matter. He'd seen other magical flying vehicles before so in his mind this was just some foreign dignitary looking to show off. Two of the vehicles hovered for a moment while the less threatening looking model touched down and shut off the engines. The two supporting helicopters then moved to another spot and settled in for a landing as well. The door to the civilian model opened and a guard emerged while peering around. He spotted Hagrid as his eyes widened and mouth dropped open. Shaking himself a bit, he turned and said something to someone inside. An older woman with a regal bearing stepped out and onto the lawn before appraising Hagrid for herself.

Daggerclaw and Cornelius hurried up to the newly arrived guests as they glanced around at their surroundings, "Your Majesty, please excuse our tardiness. More guests than we'd anticipated arrived at the last moment. Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." The two leaders bowed before their sovereign. Daggerclaw nudged Hagrid in the leg to get him to follow suit.

The Queen waved it off as no importance, "Thank you for your welcome, gentlemen. Shall we begin the tour?"

* * *

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second was not an easy person to impress but somehow the Castle of Hogwarts and inhabitants managed to do so. As she and her entourage were escorted around, various suits of armor would snap to attention, the portraits greeted them and a poltergeist of all things appeared and bowed low to her. She noticed the tension of the Headmaster when this 'Peeves' arrived and inquired what that was about.

Daggerclaw swallowed, "Peeves is the resident poltergeist. He's been a part of the castle since its inception and is known for causing chaos and mild destruction wherever he goes. Many attempts have been made to control him but all have failed. It seems that your presence is the only thing holding him back."

"I see."

They toured the craft and trades tents and she spoke with the students and staff about the various topics. She was pleased to learn that there weren't any sort of 'classically Dark' elements that were taught at the school. When she asked if black cats were a requirement to fly on a broom, a couple of the kids giggled and shook their heads.

"If you'd like, Your Majesty, we can give you a ride on one of our brooms? We promise not to go too high or fast unless you like that sort of thing then you can fly with Hermione," Oliver Wood quipped then muttered the last part under his breath.

An eyebrow quirked up, "Who is this Hermione?"

Oliver blushed as he realized he'd been overheard, "Umm, Hermione Granger is a first year student sorted into Hufflepuff. She's…well…driven. Our main sport is called Quidditch but she considers it too 'pedestrian' I guess would be the best term I could use. She prefers obstacle course racing and is a sight to behold."

"And where would she be right now?"

"Probably up in our special Room of Requirement awaiting our arrival, Your Majesty."

The Queen nodded, thanked Oliver for his time and moved on.

* * *

Just as they were turning a corner, the Queen spotted a group of students crowded around a table and headed over. On display was an assortment of treats and other dishes, a young boy was pointing to the various items and giving descriptions of each.

"This tray here contains samples of Slow-cooked Moroccan Lamb pies, this one over here contains Pork Ginger Potstickers and the third tray holds Cheese Sauce Stuffed Herbed Yorkshire Puddings." He spotted the Queen; paled and gulped loudly, "Um… guys, turn around but don't scream." The others turned as instructed and paled as drastically as Harry had. The girls immediately curtsied while the boys bowed before their Sovereign.

"Your Majesty, the boy in charge of this display is our very own Student Head Chef, Harry James Potter. His culinary skills are second to none in both the magical and non-magical worlds," Daggerclaw explained as he introduced Harry.

"You, er…Your Majesty. You honor me by stopping by," Harry stammered nervously. The Queen merely smiled warmly, "May I have your suggestion as to what to try?" Harry's lips pursed as he scanned his arrangement.

"Well, it depends on what you're in the mood for. I have samples ranging from sweet to savory… Oh, I guess you could try the sampler platter. It contains a bit of everything and comes in a handy carry-away box." He picked one up and handed it over. The Queen's Taster opened the box and peered inside before taking a piece of the Moroccan Lamb pie and eating it. His eyes closed briefly as the taste sensation danced on his tongue. The look on his face caused the others who'd already experienced Harry's talent to smirk knowingly. It was only then he held the open box to the Queen and allowed her to take a sample and try for herself.

"This is exquisite, Mr. Potter. Did you take a class to learn how to cook like this?" Harry shook his head.

"No, Your Majesty. This is just raw talent. I would love nothing more than for our school to have a regular class in the Culinary Arts but I was informed a while ago that such things take time to set up." He shrugged, "I'm not worried, I was told that a chef had been scouted and the curriculum was being worked on."

"I understand that you will be giving a demonstration later?"

Harry nodded his head, "Yes, Your Majesty. It will be down in the Kitchens and I will be demonstrating how to make a 3 Cheese Italian Sausage and Vegetable Lasagna." A whimper was heard from a couple of the attending students. The Queen laughed lightly, "It would seem then that it will be a demonstration worth attending if their reactions are any indication. Thank you for the sampler, Mr. Potter. Good day and I shall see you later."

* * *

Word spread like wildfire that the Queen herself was in the castle. This caused the non-magical guests to go into a tizzy to make sure that their appearance was in tip-top shape. Several ran to the bathrooms to wash their hands and to take calming breaths.

Daggerclaw led the Queen over to the Grand Staircase and let her marvel at the ever-changing stairs as they swung back and forth re-arranging their patterns. He finally stepped over to the statue holding its hand out and spoke the pass-phrase to get them to stop and reset. Prince Phillip was heard commenting that the stairs presented a tactical challenge that would be interesting to see if it could be recreated elsewhere.

The Headmaster led his charges to the Third Floor Corridor towards the Grand Baths of Hogwarts. Inside, the tour was taken over by Argus Filch in general as he explained the history of its re-discovery and refurbishment. A couple of dignitaries inquired about Argus' qualifications and he calmly supplied the information. Most, if not all, of the alumni were stunned to learn that the curmudgeonly caretaker was in fact a highly trained and knowledgeable art historian. Millie's parents were stunned to discover their daughter working out and were rather scandalized by her attire. Her mother tried to cover her daughter up while making excuses but another muggle parent calmed her down by saying that the outfit being worn was perfectly acceptable and afforded the girl free range of motion to workout. Millie stammered a few times as she explained the Magical Theory behind the notion that a healthy body produced healthy magic. By working out and improving her stamina and physical strength, she would be able to last longer in a duel or a fight with an opponent.

Next up was the Baths themselves. Nearly all of the parents and guardians were in awe of the grandeur and opulence. Tracy was on-hand to answer questions about her favorite location within the school. She chattered on at length about how the mood and look of each of the different zones changed depending on the time of day. She explained how the magic of the enchantments that governed the moving artwork and murals worked as well as the atmosphere and sounds of the birds.

Professor Flitwick and several of his most promising students put on a dueling competition and wowed the audience with their talent and prowess. The Queen's military advisor was seen whispering to her and anyone close enough heard that he would love to see more examples of this skill as well as getting permission to see if there were any witches and wizards within the military. When the Queen asked why, the advisor commented that a special unit comprised of magicals could perform assignments that their usual special forces couldn't.

One demonstration cemented that idea in the advisor's mind permanently. The Ministry had brought along a contingent of Aurors and when the description of Apparition was mentioned, one offered to take the man on a Side-Along Apparition to another part of the castle then bring him back. When asked what the farthest this 'Apparition' could go, the Auror replied that he and his team came directly in from their base in London. Wide-eyed and impressed, the advisor inquired if they could do that instead. The Auror got permission to do so and took the advisor by the arm before disappearing with a loud CRACK! The Queen and the rest of her entourage as well as the muggle parents who'd never seen such a thing before, exclaimed in surprise. A few moments later and another loud crack, the two reappeared. The advisor promptly sank to the ground gulping in air as best he could. Shaking his head to clear his ears, he declared that this method of travel was _definitely not_ for the faint-hearted!

* * *

The Social was a huge success as far as everyone was concerned. Students and parents got to meet with the teachers, staff and dignitaries as well as the media to go over various interests within the school. Demonstrations across the seven years of education were held, each by the best (and the worst) students to show just how differently some learned and remembered. Class work examples were brought out and explained, the House Common Rooms were opened up to anyone who wished to visit, and dorm rooms were examined. There were magical games and activities for the smaller children and for those who needed to take a break. The Darker Families tried once again to complain to the Minister about how their traditions were being suppressed and trampled on by allowing outsiders in. Cornelius' response was to tell them to get stuffed.

Professor Kettleburn, along with Hagrid as his assistant, held seminars on the various sorts of creatures that the students would most likely come across living in the British Isles. There were even paddocks set up for those who wished to pet the more docile animals. Hagrid made the off-handed comment that it was a shame that they couldn't bring in a couple of dragons but understood that it would've been a logistical nightmare, not to mention that the Hebredians weren't exactly the friendliest of the breeds. Ron got to demonstrate his knowledge of handling the gentler animals and was praised yet again by Professor Kettleburn to the boy's parents which caused Ron to blush madly.

* * *

**Room of Requirement, Hermione's set up**

The Queen and her entourage as well as most of the other guests stepped into the room setup by Hermione. The girl in question was nowhere to be seen however until they all heard a whoop of delight and a brown haired blur coming racing up to them at full speed only to slam on the brakes a split second later, hauling back on the broomstick hard and coming to a stop in front of the Headmaster.

Beaming with excitement and adrenaline, Hermione waved to the crowd, "Hi there and welcome to the Room of Requirement. My name is Hermione Granger and I will be your host for this particular configuration. As you can see, my configuration is that of an obstacle course and…"

After her speech, she put on a demonstration of advanced broom flying and handling techniques that had even the more sturdy guests turning a pale green. When she landed again, she challenged anyone of the guests to go up with her. There was silence before a hand went up. It was the pilot of one of the Queen's military helicopter escort. Hermione handed him a helmet and instructed him how to hold onto the broom and where to put his feet then took off. When they returned, the pilot shook her hand and remarked that she'd be a natural with The Red Arrows as the team from the Royal Air Force Aerobatic Team was known as which caused Hermione to blush.

* * *

**Hogwarts Kitchens**

Harry nervously re-examined his utensils and workstation while Tiny stood nearby. She shook her head at his tension and commented that he should relax and treat this exhibition as just another cooking show.

"But Tiny, you don't understand! The Queen of England will be in attendance." He whined.

Tiny crossed her arms over her chest, "So? You've done shows for the Minister as well as a couple of other important people. Focus on the food, ignore the people." He sighed and nodded. The door to the kitchens opened and the crowds started filing in and taking their seats.

Steeling himself, Harry stood tall and addressed the crowd, "Thank you all for coming to yet another exciting culinary demonstration of 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks!'" A round of applause and light cheering were heard from the students.

"Today I will be demonstrating how to make a '3 Cheese Italian Sausage and Vegetable Lasagna.' As always, ingredient freshness is key and remember to check your equipment for damage and replace if necessary. So let's begin, first preheat the oven to 176 degrees C. My ingredients are as follows: 453 grams of fresh Italian mild ground sausage, 12 lasagna noodles, uncooked; extra virgin olive oil, 1 medium onion, chopped, 2 cloves of garlic, chopped. Marinara sauce, either homemade or shop-bought, 4 cups of ricotta cheese, 1 large egg, ½ cup of fresh grated Parmesan cheese, 2 cups fresh spinach, chopped, 2 cups of shredded Italian blend cheese, 2 red or gold bell peppers, chopped; 1 tablespoon fresh chopped oregano."

"What I will be preparing first are the vegetables; I have chosen red and gold bell peppers and onions. First roughly chop and sauté the vegetables lightly in olive oil until just softened and put aside."

"Next, cook the noodles according to the package directions; drain and toss with 2 tablespoons of olive oil and set aside. The oil keeps the noodles from sticking together as they cool."

Harry then pulled out a skillet and turned the stove on medium, "In a medium skillet, cook and crumble the sausage in 1 tablespoon of olive oil over medium heat until browned and fully cooked. This should take about seven to ten minutes."

The Queen glanced around at the other guests and nodded to herself that nearly all the students were taking diligent notes. _'This boy knows how to command and hold onto a crowd's attention. His sampler platter was heavenly as well; I can only imagine what this will taste like.'_

"Our next step is to add the onion and garlic; cook and stir them until tender and aromatic. Now, you have the option of buying a jar of marinara sauce or making it from scratch. As many of you know, I prefer to make things from scratch so I premade a batch of the sauce. Add the sauce to the sausage mixture then set aside."

Ronald Weasley had debated with himself whether or not to attend the cooking show. He wanted to prove to himself that he could control his urges but the delicious smells coming from Harry's demonstration were making it difficult for him. He squirmed in his seat until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning he saw his father smile warmly at him and whisper in his ear that he was proud that Ron had managed to last this long and that it shouldn't be too much longer. Beaming with newfound pride, Ron settled back into his seat and leant up against his dad.

Harry pulled out a medium mixing bowl and whisked together the ricotta cheese, egg, ¼ cup of the Parmesan Cheese, chopped spinach as well as the sautéed peppers and onions and set that aside as well.

"Coat a 9x13-inch baking dish with olive oil and spread 1 cup of the sausage mix on the bottom. Top with 3 lasagna noodles then spread a fourth of the ricotta cheese mix on top of that. Keep layering until you are out of noodles or out of the mix. Sprinkle the top with oregano and the remaining Parmesan. Bake it until hot and bubbly; roughly 45 minutes. Once you remove it at the end of the cooking time, let it stand and settle for about ten minutes before cutting."

Tiny took over and sliced up samples of the lasagna before handing them out to her assistant to distribute to the guests. The Queen smelled hers and took a bite. As always, Harry's cooking skills elicited a wave of delighted moans and commentary.

Patting her mouth with a napkin, she turned to her secretary, "Make sure you get the recipe and instructions on how to make this." Her secretary agreed vigorously.

* * *

Finally, it was all done. The guests had departed either via the Floo, personal helicopter or the train. The students and staff sighed in utterly exhausted contentment proud in the knowledge that what they had accomplished here today would be felt world-wide by tomorrow. Several students were giddy with excitement despite how tired they were. Draco's pizza cones were an absolute hit with everyone who tried one. Narcissa Malfoy, normally a prim and proper pureblood socialite was spotted in the dining tent scarfing her pepperoni and sausage cone down while sipping on chilled bottle of Coke.

Hermione's parents were in awe of her skills on a broom and each took a ride with their daughter. Petunia and Vernon had praised Harry for getting to perform in front of the Queen herself. He was still blushing even at this late hour.

**Recipes:**

Slow-cooked Moroccan Lamb Pies (Pinterest, Mention Only)

Pork Ginger Potstickers (Pinterest, Mention Only)

Cheese Stuffed Herbed Yorkshire Puddings (Pinterest, Mention Only)

3 Cheese Italian Sausage and Vegetable Lasagna (Pinterest)

Draco's Pizza Cones (Pinterest)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A/N: Rumors of my untimely demise are greatly exaggerated. I came down with COVID related pneumonia for about a week and have been using the time to recover. As it is, my hands are still shaky and my sense of touch is skewed so if you see some mistakes, they’re entirely mine. On top of that, my energy levels have been ridiculously low. COVID is a nasty piece of work. Stay safe, stay clean, stay masked and if you see anyone not following the rules by being an anti-masker/vaxxer/science denier, you have my permission to ‘manually insert the information into the offender’s head.’]
> 
> [A/N2: I have never been inside the London Planetarium. I have however been inside the Griffith Park, CA Planetarium and Observatory. The description I’m using will be of the California location. I will be taking creative license since from what I’ve researched; observatories are pretty much the same in terms of the science. It’s only the history of the site that’s different.] 
> 
> [A/N3: Well, there you have it. I hope it measured up to the rest of the standards I’ve held for the other chapters. As I’ve stated, I’m recovering from COVID so if there’s anything missing or unclear, please leave a review or a private message.]


	18. A Recipe Worth Saving

**Chapter 18: A Recipe Worth Saving**

**Main Hallway between the Grand Staircase and the Great Hall**

Daggerclaw meandered aimlessly through the crowds of students, occasionally greeting one or two who acknowledged his presence as they darted to and fro in an attempt to get to their classes on time. He smiled warmly as he spotted a fifth year Slytherin prefect leading a charge of second year Gryffindors out of a hidden shortcut then pointing them in the right direction. The second years thanked the prefect with none of the animosity that had been so prevalent when Albus had been in charge. There were times when Daggerclaw wondered where the old goat had taken that step in the wrong direction but shrugged it off.

"Headmaster! What brings you down this way?" He turned at the sound of his title and spotted a smiling Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Daggerclaw's keen eyes spotted the two holding hands.

"Every now and then I like to get out of that stuffy office and interact with everyone. Lets them know I still live and encourages conversations like this one we're having, Mr. Potter. Is there something you wish to announce?" He smirked and stared pointedly at their hands.

Hermione lifted her chin in a haughty manner and replied in as snooty a tone as she could muster, "It is no one's business to know what our business is."

Daggerclaw laughed, "Good show, Miss Granger. Now run along, I'm sure your teacher wouldn't appreciate the two of you to be held up just because of me." He made light shooing motions and they scampered off into the crowds.

Later during another walk through the castle but this time during the free time period before dinner, Daggerclaw got to witness just some more of the actions and behaviors of the students and staff that made all of his efforts over the past year so utterly worth the hassle. He was momentarily stunned when he overheard two fourth years that were using foul words in the Goblin language as they rough-housed each other. When he demanded to know where they learned those words, they replied that it was during the takedown of Dumbledore last Halloween. They had started experimenting with what they'd heard but couldn't really go any farther because there weren't any foreign language classes to be held. Daggerclaw merely blinked in bemusement before pulling out a pad of paper and a pen and jotting down a note to be researched later then shooed the two off. A turn around a corner netted him the sight of Justin Finch-Fletchley drawing on the castle walls with a paint brush. A bucket of some kind of paint sat on a table next to him.

"Mr. Finch-Fletchley! What are you doing?" he admonished the boy loudly. Justin whirled and nearly knocked the bucket over in his haste.

"Headmaster! You startled me; I'm working on an art project. You see, I learned about how some special sigils create their own magical effects; sort of like an advertisement sign that flashes lights to draw your attention. I wanted to draw out a few in an attempt to see if I could try making sense of this madhouse and its maze of hallways."

Daggerclaw was impressed by the boy's gumption, "Did you first obtain permission from your Head of House?" Justin nodded and pointed to a slip of paper which simply stated that he had the permission and that it was signed by Pomona. Daggerclaw grunted in resigned approval, "Very well then, carry on."

* * *

Neville Longbottom was seen pushing a cart loaded down with what appeared to be blooming marigold flowers to the dungeons. On the bottom tray rested small cone-shaped planters ostensibly for the plants.

"Mr. Longbottom?" The boy turned and waved at his headmaster, "What do you have there and where are you going with it?"

"I just finished my year long project to try and cross-breed two mundane plants to get something entirely new yet useful."

"Oh?"

Neville beamed happily, "Yup, I cross-bred ordinary marigold flowers with that bioluminescent algae that grows in the cave tunnel along the lazy river feature in the Grand Baths. They now glow a soft orange-yellow color. It's not enough to read by but I think there's enough light to navigate a darkened hallway safely. I got permission from Professor Sprout to test out that feature just now."

Daggerclaw's face was one of amazement, "Don't marigolds require sunlight to grow properly though? Why don't you just use an empty classroom?"

"Yes, that's why I can't put them in the dungeons themselves. I can only put them in hallways that have a decent set of windows. This however is just a test to see if they'll grow and glow outside of the controlled conditions of the greenhouse. I would've used a classroom but there aren't any that are dark enough for this experiment. There's one hallway I've been told that is always a bit dark even during the daytime."

Daggerclaw was duly impressed and said so, "Well, good luck Mr. Longbottom."

"Thank you, sir." He then turned and continued pushing the cart.

Daggerclaw watched the boy leave and muttered to himself, "That boy is going to change the world."

* * *

_**In the Hufflepuff First Year Girls' Dorms…** _

"Explain to me again why you're just painting a white canvas? Is this prep work for something else?" Megan Jones asked Susan Bones as the latter was examining the canvas while wearing a strange set of goggles.

Turning to face her dorm mate and friend, Susan looked rather odd wearing the bug-eyed purplish-black lens goggles, "I've been experimenting with a different type of paint. What appears to be ordinary white is actually a range of colors that can only be seen under a type of light known as 'ultraviolet.'"

Megan thought on that then brightened, "Oh, yeah! We learned about that in science class a while back, right?" Susan nodded as she picked at a spot with a fingernail then wiped it off on her apron.

"Yeah, so I spoke with our teacher and asked if there was a way to paint with ultraviolet light and she pointed me to this. I had to get the paint while we were on Yule; it was expensive but I think it's worth it. This is beautiful…"

"I wish I could see it," Megan said wishfully.

Susan took off the goggles and handed them over, "Here, put these on."

Megan gasped when she put on the goggles; the former boring white canvas suddenly exploded with color and light! The painting showed a badger sitting in a field gazing out over a rampant carpet of blooming flowers, blossoming trees with trailing vines. The vines formed the word Hufflepuff while the flowers were arranged in a pattern that read, "Badgers rule, all others drool!" She giggled when she read that.

"So what do you think of it?" Susan asked nervously.

"I like it. You should show this to Professor Sprout."

* * *

The two girls approached their Head of House and Susan hesitantly handed over the goggles after setting up the canvas on a chair. She explained the backstory to the creation of the painting and her hopes for the future. Pomona gave a small smile at the girl's enthusiasm and slipped on the goggles. Her mouth dropped open as she took in the scene. She stared at the detail, the colors and the overall depth of the scene.

After absently pulling off the goggles, Pomona just sat there in her chair silently trying to process what she had just seen, the seemingly blank canvas before her mocking her.

"Miss Bones… you have my permission to take over the storage room next door. Have an elf clear it out for you as I don't know what's in there. Take your time and create something extraordinary. That was incredible. Do you mind if I show this to the other staff?"

Susan scuffed her toe on the floor shyly, "Um, you would need to set up another light source. Those are my only goggles and I'd rather not have them broken."

Pomona waved her hand dismissively, "That shouldn't be a problem, I'm sure that Professor Flitwick would enjoy the task to create something."

* * *

_**Two days later…** _

The legendary Hogwarts Rumor Mill was in full swing with the news that first year Hufflepuff Susan Bones had created a painting that could only be viewed under certain lighting conditions and it supposedly caused a couple of teachers to start drooling. The truth was revealed at dinner that no one actually drooled but all were amazed by the way the painting drew them into the scene. The painting in question was set up on the wall outside the Great Hall with the improvised UV light shining on it and a black curtain was installed around the spot to block out the daylight. A line formed almost immediately so Professor McGonagall had to set up a sign up sheet and limiting viewing time to fifteen minutes per person. It wasn't long after that Susan was besieged with requests for other paintings and to think about opening an art gallery in one of the many empty classrooms.

* * *

While Susan was experiencing her own artistic revolution, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle were going through their own trials and troubles. Throughout the year, despite their best efforts; the two boys' rankings kept dropping lower and lower until they were both fighting for the worst student in the school. Nothing they tried seemed to work; they'd spent countless hours in the library trying to study, they completed their written assignments on time but the grades that came back were always the same, Poor or Dreadful. It was almost getting to the point where the two were ready to just chuck it all and go join a herd of Trolls.

After their latest Transfiguration class ended (the two of them had successfully changed a mouse into a snuffbox), Greg morosely gathered up his books and followed his best friend towards the door.

"I don't know why we're continuing to bother with the homework, Vince. I still say the Weasley Twins pranked us for some reason," he complained out loud.

That got McGonagall's attention, "Mr. Goyle? What did those two do now?"

Greg sighed and put his textbook on her desk and opened it, "All the words are jumbled up and it makes it impossible to read. Vince and I both have the same problem yet whenever someone reads the text to us, we understand it just fine." Vince nodded his agreement.

Minerva stared at the dejected boy for a moment before reaching over to her bookshelf and pulling down a random book, "I want both of you to read this paragraph. I know that neither of the Twins has tampered with it."

Vince moved around so he could see the paragraph in question and made a valiant attempt to read the passage but gave up after a couple of sentences; The same thing happened to Greg. Minerva looked pensive for a few moments before nodding to herself, "I think I'm getting an idea as to what your problem is. It's easily solved though, I think…" That last part was muttered to herself as she began to think of solutions.

"What's the problem and why us?"

"It would seem that the two of you are dyslexic. That means that words on a page appear jumbled as you put it. Your intelligence is not affected as evidenced by the quality practical work you've done. Today's assignment is proof of that… I shall speak with your Head of House as well as your mundane education teachers to see if there's something that can be done to help you. In the meantime, see if you can find a prefect within your House that has some extra time to read to you the chapters I want."

* * *

**Teacher's Lounge, Friday afternoon**

Aurora was giggling to herself as she entered the lounge and made her way to the coffee service. Severus watched her curiously as she poured herself a cup then settled into a chair nearby. This past school year had been troubling for the dour man. First was the arrival of the Potter brat who lit into him during their first meeting with all the fire and passion that his mother was known for. Since that class, Severus had done his level best to limit his interactions with the boy for fear of inciting another tongue lashing. _'Merlin, I never want to go through that again!'_ Not even Minerva going full 'Angry Highland Scot Witch' mode was enough to put that sort of fear into him.

Then there was the implosion of power from Albus and his rant during Halloween. Severus never thought he'd live to see the day when someone could get one over and take the old goat down a couple of pegs but the Goblin managed to do it and in a truly spectacular Slytherin manner. He again glanced over at Aurora after another round of happy giggles. He set his tea cup down and asked what was so funny.

"It's Draco Malfoy. He came up to me earlier and asked if he could get extra credit for a project he's been working on since our trip to the observatory. The earnest look on his face was hilarious."

An eyebrow rose. Severus knew what the boy was like seeing as he was Draco's godfather, "Extra credit? Draco Malfoy wanted to do extra credit? What was the project?"

Aurora put down her coffee mug and pulled out a picture from her pocket, "He built himself a solar observatory out of some spare lumber. Where he got it, I don't have a clue nor how he figured out how to attach it together without magic; I wouldn't think he knew what a hammer and nails were. It's crude in construction but it works. The premise is simple but requires a decent knowledge of geometry. She pointed out how the roughly triangular shaped structure had a hole in one face to let the light bounce off one mirror and redirect it to another then to a third before landing on a white piece of paper where the image of the sun could be observed with the need for special lenses.

Severus pointed to one hole above the upper mirror, "This looks like a spot where a filter of some kind could be placed."

Aurora nodded, "I observed the same thing and he confirmed that it would be possible but he didn't have any filters with him."

"So what was the end result?"

"I gave him the extra credit and suggested that he speak with Minerva to see if she would transfigure a permanent structure for this device then have it mounted on a rotating pedestal. I plan on installing it in the classroom for future students to learn from. I'm thinking of including a plaque describing what went into its creation as well as who came up with it."

Severus just shook his head in amazement, "I'm the boy's godfather and in all the time I've known him, I never expected him to be this enthused to branch out from the usual minimal work a spoiled aristocratic pureblood heir normally puts into their schooling."

Aurora huffed, "I think it was because of that unusual sorting we had in September. It pushed him to think beyond 'the usual.'"

* * *

When the other teachers filtered in for their break, Aurora and Severus were deep in conversation about the differences noticed from the 'September Sorting Surprise' as it had become known as. Ronald Weasley was mentioned a couple of times but each time, Severus gave a sneer and a fervent wish that the boy would just consider homeschooling next year and leave the castle. When asked to elaborate, he grimaced and replied that the boy's reintegration into his House wasn't going so well.

"He's in a room by himself, which is unsurprising as no one wants anything to do with him. He's completely and totally socially isolated from the other students. It would almost be beneficial for him to be re-sorted in September. I would've suggested Hufflepuff but I don't think that'd be a good idea with Potter and Granger there plus with the kitchen so close."

"But I heard that he's been making great strides to improve himself since that episode," Aurora commented.

Severus shrugged indifferently, "I've not seen any changes. He's still pig-headed and arrogant. He still shovels in his food like there's no tomorrow; he's fortunate that no one will sit near him during mealtimes otherwise I'd still be getting complaints."

Aurora looked thoughtful, "Has it reverted back to a point where you need to inform his father?"

Severus pursed his lips, "Not…really. A couple of moments have occurred where I think it would help if Arthur came up to observe and adjust his son's reappearing attitudes but nothing like what got him suspended. I think I'll just have to write a letter to Arthur with my…concerns."

* * *

Filius settled in his chair and called for an elf. When one appeared, he asked for a plate of whatever light and easy snacks Harry may have created in the past couple of days. The elf vanished and a moment later a tray of assorted snacks appeared. There were the fingerling potato boats filled with a salmon lox/cream cheese mix, loaded bell pepper nachos and chocolate covered coconut balls. Filius sighed in anticipatory delight as he reached for a potato.

The mundane math teacher, Charles Buckmann, glanced over and chuckled at the look of rapture on Filius' face as he ate, "Those look good. Have you tried the chocolate pinecones yet?"

Filius stared back at the man and quickly swallowed, "Chocolate _pinecones?!"_

"Yeah, that was my first reaction when I heard about them. He _says_ they're easy to make but then again, this _is_ Harry Potter, Master Chef we're talking about," Charles commented.

Filius shook his head, "I can only imagine how he created them. Besides the chocolate, how good were they?"

Charles grinned, "Funnily enough, I didn't taste any chocolate. I tasted oranges. Betty was with me and she swore she could taste peaches so I don't know what he did with them. Potter said that he was experimenting with a potion recipe he found in the library." Severus' head rose up when he overheard that.

" _Potter_ is experimenting with potions? This I've got to see. Elf, please." The one that served Filius reappeared, "I understand that Harry Potter created 'chocolate pinecones' that taste differently to various people. I'd like to get a sample if there are any available." The elf vanished and a small tray with a couple of pinecones appeared on the side table. Severus pulled his wand and cast Scarpin's Revelaspell diagnostic charm to reveal what ingredients or substances were used. He dismissed the usual cocoa beans, sugar and other parts that went into making chocolate and peered closer to the special ingredient to change the taste of the potion based on what a person was thinking of.

"Huh, I never would've thought to use it like this and it's amazing that the boy even thought of using it." He dismissed the results and leant back in his seat, "It's a fairly complicated seventh year potion originally designed to change the taste of medicinal potions given to children to keep them from complaining. That Potter would use it in his cooking is…intriguing."

Filius picked up one of the pinecones, "Ah, it looks like a solid chocolate core with sliced almonds for the seed pods. Clever bit of decorating, I must say. Mmm… I taste caramel."

* * *

Daggerclaw entered the room and called for a mug of hot, spiced beef gravy and settled into an available chair close to where everyone else was grouped. He had a distant yet seemingly content look on his face. Rolanda spotted it and asked him what caused that look.

"I was just reminiscing on what has happened since September, the highs and lows and I can honestly say that I was skeptical at first of being assigned the position of High Inquisitor which in turn led me to being appointed Headmaster. I would've thought that Minerva been the one who the Board approved of."

"They asked but I turned it down," she interjected to everyone's surprise but she didn't elaborate.

With a puzzled sideways glance at his deputy Daggerclaw continued, "Anyways, this year has produced so many wonderful stories of the students and staff trying out new ideas they never would've experienced under Albus' rule like the mundane general education, Aurora's observatory field trip, the Spring Social as well as the Valentine's Day Ball. Let's not forget the re-introduction of the Grand Baths!"

* * *

Hermione was in a bit of a pickle again. This pickle had nothing to do with her flying skills but with a comment she'd made before they left for the holidays in December that she had _thought_ no one overheard. Hermione had been listening to a couple of older Slytherins talking about the things they'd picked up during the Yule holidays. What made it a pickle was that it was her idea yet no one knew to compliment (or condemn) her on it.

"I got this box of nesting containers. I don't know what they're made from but the brand is called 'Tupperware.' According to some rumors is that it's considered 'magic' if the owner can keep track of the lids."

"That's nothing! I found this pen that has four colors in one. There's no inkpot required and each color can be changed just by clicking a corresponding color tab on the rear. No more messes."

Hermione giggled to herself and wondered out loud what things would be like if someone were to start an 'underground black market' for muggle goods. Well, that comment came back around…

So to date, there was a thriving market for the most mundane things to the muggleborn yet exotic and exciting to the magically raised. Things like thermos bottles, board and card games, biros, spiral bound notebooks, multi-colored highlighters, Ziploc bags, clothes with funny sayings and images on them. So far, action figures and Legos were the hot items amongst the first through third year boys while the older years were favoring the items that fostered constructive creativity with kits to build mechanical devices, locomotives and cars.

With the assistance of Professors Flitwick, Babbling and Vector along with the General Education Science teacher, a room was set up that nullified the ambient magical energy so that muggle electricity and electronic building kits could be explored. Included with those toys were more advanced scientific tools like a high-powered microscope, centrifuges , a television and VCR so the teachers could expand upon the subjects they were teaching. Harry had even suggested putting in a microwave unit so they could learn how to 'cook' without a stove.

The first and third year girls were favoring dolls and role-playing while the older ones were fascinated by muggle fashion and makeup, especially mood rings and other clothes treated with thermochromatic dyes. It got to the point where it wasn't unusual to see a pureblood Slytherin from one of the Darker families sipping tea from a Thermos bottle or making notes on a pad of Post-its using a multi-colored pen. What made it amusing were the duality of their reactions to the introduction of muggle products into the magical world and the castle itself. Outwardly, they sneered and complained that their 'safe and secure' world was being invaded by the trash made by muggles but when they thought no one was looking, giggled like toddlers over the recent purchase of a new set of accessories for a permanently set-up Dungeons and Dragons game going on in their common room.

Nearly everyone was in love with the mechanical toys like the Etch-A-Sketch, wind-up racing cars, wooden paddles with a rubber ball attached to a rubber band. Each House even had their own stash of muggle board games like checkers (Chinese and regular), Sorry!, Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, Monopoly (this was a huge hit amongst the Slytherins), The Game of Life, Backgammon (for the older students).

It was a good thing she supposed, that everyone was getting to relax and unwind with something other than gobstones, wizard's chess or Quidditch.

* * *

**Transfiguration Class**

Harry confidently strode into the classroom carrying a rather large cardboard box. He set it down on the floor near the teacher's desk and went to sit down. Hermione and the others trickled in and noticed the newest addition. Hermione glanced over at Harry, who had a sly, smug grin on his face.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"What evil thing did you just do?"

Harry grinned wider, "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What's with the box?"

"Just an experiment I'm conducting."

She just stared at him, waiting for a more detailed explanation but none were coming. Finally letting out an exasperated huff of annoyance, she sat in her seat and pointedly ignored Harry. However it became increasingly difficult when the scent of strawberries began to fill the room. Minerva entered and paused to take in the sight of the box sitting near her desk then sniffed a couple of times when the strawberry smell tickled her nose.

"Mr. Potter? Were you just in the kitchens not too long ago?"

Harry shook his head, "This wasn't my doing."

Millie raised her hand, "Sorry everyone. I got a packet of scented gel pens from home and the one I'm using smells like strawberries."

Minerva sighed, "Please put it away and use a regular pencil, Miss Bulstrode. Again, Mr. Potter; did you bring in this box?"

"I did."

"Why?"

"Performing an experiment."

"What sort of experiment?"

"An experiment to test a subject's level of concentration."

Minerva sighed, "Mr. Potter, if you're attempting to see how long it takes before I broke down, changed into my animagus form and sat in the box then I must inform you that your father and his friends already pulled this prank on me when they were students." She pulled out her wand and vanished the box before beginning the day's lesson.

Everyone laughed at the blushing chagrin on Harry's face.

* * *

**Astronomy classroom, daytime**

Draco peered at the piece of paper he was using to view the surface of the sun with his solar observatory and made a couple of notes in his journal. The crude device he'd originally created had been improved upon by Professors Sinastra and McGonagall and now was made to resemble something made from wrought iron painted a dark green color with bright brass knobs for adjusting the position of the mirrors and the observatory itself. He made note of the time and angle of the sun before sketching in a couple of tiny spots on his drawing. He was so involved with his observations, he never noticed Pansy coming up from behind.

"Draco?"

"Aaah!" He whirled around and spotted her standing in front of him with a puzzled expression on her face, "Don't do that! Gah, what do you want Pansy?"

Consternation slid over her features momentarily, "I was wondering what you were doing and why. We really haven't spent much time together since you got sorted in with the rest of the Gryffindorks."

Draco's face scrunched up into a small sneer, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to my housemates as 'Gryffindorks.' Some of them are my friends."

Pansy snorted in derision and crossed her arms over her chest, "Friends? We don't have friends, we have acquaintances or at the very best, allies."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Maybe in Slytherin that's true, but not in Gryffindor. I'll admit that some of them are loud and crude but they're an untapped resource of knowledge and contacts. They have no concept of subtlety and I've already capitalized on it several times."

An eyebrow rose, "Oh?"

"Yeah, I've overheard plenty of potential deals and business opportunities. Some of the more lucrative information, I pass onto my father. You should see the look of happiness on his face these days. If I tried that in Slytherin, it wouldn't have amounted to much. In my opinion, Slytherin is tapped out and anyone who tries to play the field is just playing with pebbles."

Slowly nodding her understanding, she gestured to his project, "So what is this all about?"

Draco sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Remember our trip to the Royal Observatory?" She nodded, "Well, I was blown away by the advancements made by the muggles and wanted to build my own observatory. With a bit of help, I created this device on my own. Here, let me show you how it works…" He led her through the explanation of how the sun's light entered, bounced off the mirrors and was displayed on the paper. She remembered vaguely that looking directly at the sun was a surefire way to destroy your eyes.

* * *

It was a beautifully sunny Saturday and time for another 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks' demonstration yet this time, Harry was surprisingly not in the mood to cook anything. Instead, he had received permission from the staff to hold a Taco Party out on the main courtyard. There were long tables setup with everything anyone would need to build the ultimate taco. One table held trays of various chopped meats like seasoned ground beef, pork carnitas, pulled pork, shredded pork. The same could be found with the chicken and fish as they slowly simmered over magically controlled flame bowls courtesy of Professor Snape (that surprised Harry since the dour man had made it a personal point to not interact with him as much as possible). The next table over contained the soft and hard corn or flour shells and tortillas as well as tostada shells for those who wanted a more salad-like dish. Additionally, there were huge bowls heaped up with shredded cheese of varying kinds from simple cheddar to blended Mexican styles.

The third table held some of Harry's favorite salsas. Some mild, some hot and some so scorching hot that it came with a posted warning not to use more than a couple of drops. There was also corn salsa, mango salsa, pico de gallo, beans (regular and refried) and salsa verde. At the end of that table were tubs of sour cream, guacamole, diced onions, sliced black olives and all sorts of other toppings to finish off their own culinary masterpieces.

Rather than setting up tables and chairs, the elves set out blankets for a summer picnic and meandered through the diners offering extra napkins, cleaning up messes, or taking away empty plates or glasses. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves greatly. Pomona was chuckling to herself as she watched Severus trying to navigate his mouth around an overloaded chicken soft taco while vainly attempting to keep it from falling apart in his hands.

Daggerclaw sat there on the blanket and watched in contentment at how everyone was enjoying themselves. Harry was playfully teasing Hermione by tossing her bits from her taco, occasionally bouncing a piece off her nose. Neville Longbottom was deep in conversation with a couple of Ravenclaw fourth years about growing the ingredients. Even the Weasley Twins were keeping their antics in check. Sure they pulled a couple of minor pranks on those around them like changing the color of their food into something horridly bright or sparkly or charming the utensils to do their level best to _not_ pick up the food but it was harmless fun that caused much laughter. He glanced over to where Ronald Weasley was sitting; a single plate of food on his lap (piled a bit high in his opinion but not _too_ overwhelming) as the boy began chowing down on his tostada. He silently applauded the young Slytherin for remembering to use a napkin to wipe his mouth and finishing what he was eating _before_ speaking. Daggerclaw supposed the latest burst of civility was the result of Arthur Weasley coming by to touch base with his son and speak with Severus. Whatever the reasons, he was glad that the youngest Weasley had learned his lesson.

Minerva tapped him on the arm, "You look rather thoughtful for such a lovely day. Is there anything wrong?"

Daggerclaw shook his head, "No. I was just praising whatever deity it was that brought us Mr. Potter and his culinary talents. His recipe for creating inter-house unity is definitely worth saving."

* * *

**Recipes Used:**

Loaded fingerling potato boats (mention only, personal recipe)

Loaded bell pepper nachos (mention only, Pinterest)

Chocolate covered coconut balls (mention only, Pinterest)

Chocolate Pinecones (mention only, Pinterest)

Taco Party Bar (Pinterest)


	19. The End Of The Cookbook

**Chapter 19: The End of the Cookbook**

**Sunday, Hogwarts Kitchens**

Harry entered the kitchens carrying one of his ever-present cookbooks, absent-mindedly flipping through the pages. He slowed to a stop in front of his workstation and leant up against the counter. Tiny wandered over to see what her favorite human compatriot was getting himself involved with.

"Master Harry?" she squeaked. Harry looked up and blinked owlishly before noticing her.

"Hey, Tiny."

"What is you be looking into today?"

"Well, we don't have much time before our finals begin so I wanted to make something that could be eaten easily with one hand yet still provide plenty of 'brain food' and energy for those long study nights and stressful test days."

Tiny pursed her lips and rubbed her chin, "You has already done the potato boats enough times. What you should be doings is making simple snacks."

Harry cocked his head and quirked an eyebrow up, "You mean as opposed to meals?"

Tiny nodded, "I has learned from your books as well as other elves who serve modern wizards that healthy foods are what is being needed, not heavy Hogwarts foods."

Tiny took his book and flipped to the snacks section and pointed to a listing of some quick study session snacks, "This is what you should be making."

Harry stared at the listing and slowly started nodding, "I think…that this is a wonderful idea, Tiny. I also think that we should see if Professor McGonagall would allow the elves to create a study snack station in each of the common rooms so no one has a need to stop studying to get something to eat late at night."

* * *

**Professor McGonagall's Office**

"Professor? I was wondering if you have a moment?" Harry inquired after being admitted into her office.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" Minerva's eyes had a bit of a gleam to them. If Harry Potter needed something, chances are it had something to do with food.

Harry explained the conversation he'd had with Tiny and the idea of a study night snack station to be installed in each of the common rooms. Inwardly, Minerva started to drool though she'd never admit it.

"Now that I think of it, I foresee a problem with regulating how much someone should get when loading up their plate," he murmured out loud.

"Thinking of stopping another Ronald Weasley episode before it gets out of hand?" she replied.

"Yeah."

She hummed in response and tapped her fingers together in thought, "Well, I can speak with Professor Flitwick and see if he knows of some method to track who takes what and how often. In the meantime, I would like to know what sort of snacks you were thinking of making."

He slid over the list of ideas he and Tiny had come up with.

"Hmmm…let's see, frozen blueberry and yoghurt kebabs, hummus and veggies, turkey, cheese and veggie wraps… have you ever made these before? I don't remember eating any of this."

"I don't think so. I've made some of the things on the list at home but I'd be happy to make a sample plate and have it sent to the Teacher's Lounge."

Minerva nodded once and handed back the list, "As of right now you have my tentative permission dependent upon how well these snacks look and taste," she held up a hand at the look on his face and he quickly closed his mouth, "I know, nothing you make is ever bad but there have been a few times where an alternate ingredient would've been better. That BBQ Cajun chicken sandwich springs to mind."

Harry grimaced while she snickered at his momentary embarrassment then dismissed him to get started on the snack making.

* * *

**Teacher's Lounge, later that afternoon**

Severus had just entered the room when his nose was assaulted by multiple food aromas that caused his stomach to immediately start rumbling. He paused at the doorway and dropped his head then groaned. _'That boy is going to kill me with all that food! What a way to go.'_ He looked around and spotted the multi-layered serving tray filled with small paper sample cups, each holding a different item but arranged so that it was still pleasing to the eye.

The door had barely closed behind him when it was suddenly flung open as Minerva came storming in, "Where is it? I'm dying here!"

Severus couldn't help it; he burst out laughing at the wild-eyed expression on his colleague's face as she searched for the sample she wanted. "Smooth, Minerva. It's a good thing the students don't get to see this side of you; you'd totally destroy that image of the stern disciplinarian you've been projecting since I've first met you."

"Quiet you," she admonished him behind the light moan of pleasure from sampling the granola parfait topped with chopped fresh fruit. The honey-sweet granola made a pleasant crunching noise as she sank into the closest chair and settled in to savor her treat.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear your animagus side is purring right now." Minerva just glared at him though it didn't have any heat behind it. He turned back to the snack laden table and selected a frozen blueberry and yoghurt kebob and a napkin then settled into his favorite chair. He was pleasantly surprised by the treat, it was simple but satisfying.

The other teachers and staff filtered in and were surprised to be greeted with the sample tray. Filius entered, saw what was being displayed and made a squeaky noise before hurrying over like an excited firstie. A couple of them were curious as to why, so Minerva filled them in on Harry's plan for late night study snacks. There was a susurration of agreements and wonders why they'd never thought of that when they were in school. Minerva called for an elf to summon Harry to the Lounge. When he arrived, she got right to it.

"Mr. Potter, I think it's safe to say that your snack platter is a wonderful idea as is your idea to have a station installed in each of the common rooms. As for the problem of identifying and tracking snackers, both Professors Flitwick and Babbling will be setting up a ward around the station." Harry nodded silently at the three professors.

"Was there anything you all could think on how to improve the snacks or should I, or actually the elves, leave them as is?" Harry inquired.

"Leave them as is but for something like the parfaits, leave a small jar of honey or crunchy bits on the side so students can add to it if they so desire." Harry pulled out a notebook and pen and jotted down the suggestion.

* * *

**Monday, Slytherin Common Room, evening**

The students were informed of the snack station when they all arrived for dinner that evening and were frankly eager to get back to their common rooms to scope out the offerings. A medium sized table was set up with Ever Fresh and Ever Refilling Charms. Each choice had a small tag describing what it was and how much was considered a serving. A shimmering, ghostly white ring floated around the table causing confusion amongst the younger years. A large sign explained that the shimmering ring was an identification ward that would track the coming and going of everyone who passed through and also what and how much they took from the table so as to prevent hoarding and disagreements between others. Everyone immediately turned to stare (and glare) at Ron when he finally entered the room.

"What?" His bewildered expression suggested that he had no clue as to what he might have done to set everyone against him this time.

"Weasley, come take a look at this sign. Make sure you read it carefully and understand it," commanded the seventh year prefect.

Ron read the sign and made a face at the implication that everyone thought he'd back slide since food was going to be easily available at all hours of the night. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at everyone (though it didn't have nearly enough force behind it to intimidate anyone over the age of three) and promised, "I'll be good. I have to be; otherwise my dad said I wouldn't be allowed to come back next year."

The others glanced at each other in silent communication. "See that you follow the rules explicitly; though just to make sure that you never forget, I'm going to make a copy of this and permanently attach it to the inside of your bedroom door," the prefect growled in response to Ron's reddening face.

* * *

**Monday, the start of the 'Week of Revision Hell'**

The whole school was in study and review mode. The teachers stopped giving out new materials and focused on reviewing what they'd already taught. Every class from Astronomy to the Wizarding Customs and Etiquette were pushing the kids to excel in their tests. Those in need of special help, such as Crabbe and Goyle were given extra time to take their practice tests in class as well as a novel solution (at least to the magically raised) to their reading and comprehension problems. The general education teachers put their collective heads together and in conjunction with Professors Babbling and Flitwick figured out how to charm and nullify the harmful anti-technology castle wards so that a pair of cassette recorders could be brought in. (Daggerclaw had taken a look to see if the specific ward that affected muggle technology could be dropped entirely but discovered to his annoyance, that in order to do so; he'd have to disable nearly fifteen _other_ wards, some of which were critical systems. He made a note to contact the DoM Ward Masters to come in and run a full system check to weed out the unnecessary or redundant wards.) Each boy also received a pair of headphones so that their audio recordings didn't interfere with everyone else's quiet time. Additionally, the professors figured out a way to alter the charms on Dicta-Quills so that instead of writing the audio down on paper, they transmitted it to the recorder.

When Daggerclaw found out about this, he suggested that the teachers get together after the school let out and publish their experiments and results for future generations.

Knowing how Hermione got during pre-test study times, Harry made sure that his best friend took some much needed breaks every now and then even if it was as simple as taking a slow walk up and down the hallway. He found out later that the study desks within Hufflepuff were charmed to get up and walk away from the user after a preset amount of time so as to enforce the requirement that mental and physical break times were just as important as the actual reviewing.

It was kind of funny the first time that Harry witnessed Hermione's desk suddenly walk away from her, the girl trailing behind, fruitlessly trying to get her desk back where it belonged and grumbling out loud that she was going to murder whoever it was that pranked her. There were other times during the week when all that was needed to distract her was a Harry Potter Classic. One lop-sided grin and a blast from his 'gorgeous green eyes' and Hermione went from a studious, determined to succeed first year to a dreamy-eyed, slightly babbling, tripping over her feet yet utterly at peace with the world little girl.

* * *

Harry's Study Snack Station was as big a hit as anyone could've predicted. Not only was there healthy snacks to munch on while trying to figure out their review worksheets for Math or any other subject that was causing them stress but they also drastically cut down on the number of students caught out of bounds after curfew. Argus in particular was pleased about that since the job of overseeing the detentions usually fell on him.

Ron held to his word regarding the number of trips he made as well as how much he took from the Snack Station. Either just to prove a point or just because he wanted to stick it to the prefect who growled at him the first night; Ron made sure to bring his plate over to the older boy and point out each and every snack he took before heading back to his room. (It annoyed the prefect to no end.)

Up in Gryffindor Tower, the Twins were causing a bit of a ruckus and for once they weren't the ones in the thick of it. Both boys were seen diligently working on their homework and study worksheets quietly and only the occasional murmured comment between themselves. It was so unnerving that someone went to go and alert Professor McGonagall. After witnessing for herself the oddity before her, she demanded to know what the prank was.

"Honestly, professor! We're not trying to prank anyone…"

"…at least until this weekend…"

"…and that's only going to be a bit of a stress-reliever," they finished in stereo.

"Why would you two of all people be trying to study so hard? Last I heard you were trying your damndest to avoid getting good grades so the Ministry would reject your applications," she replied, still puzzled, "and quit with the stereo speaking!"

George (at least she thought it was him) shook his head, "The Ministry is where our _mother_ wants us to work at. She wants us to get nice, safe, _boring_ jobs like our father."

The other piped up, "But we want to open our own joke shop. Last Yule when we went to go visit Harry, we got to meet and share our dreams with the Pranking Gods themselves! They said that they would help us realize our dream but only if we maintained an EE average on both our OWLs and NEWTs."

Minerva could only blink like her namesake, _'Was that all it took to get these two to wise up and take their education seriously?'_

Both twins recognized the look on her face and smirked back, "We always take our education seriously, professor. It's just the marks that we don't care about because if we got the grades, our mother would be sending in our applications to those boring departments whether or not we agreed. At least that's how it's been in the past. Our father took steps this year to curb her 'enthusiasm.'"

The light of understanding dawned in Minerva's face, "Oh, yes. I remember now, she'd been having problems with sending out Howlers. I'd been wondering why we'd not seen any all year. Very well, I'll let you get back to your studying."

* * *

**Tuesday**

Harry groaned and leant back in his spot on the sofa in the Puff Common Room. He stretched his arms and rolled his head to loosen up his neck in an effort to relieve the tension. He spotted Hermione sitting with a group of other Puffs, _supposedly_ in their own study session though by the sound of the giggles they were probably not reviewing anything school related. He shrugged his shoulders; it wasn't his place to reprimand them nor did he worry that Hermione was giving her full effort to getting good grades. If anything, she could probably _teach_ some of the classes like Transfiguration and Flight School, especially the second one. Madam Hooch had been heard expressing her desire to taking Hermione on as an apprentice when the girl got older so the school could have more than one instructor on how to fly.

* * *

Over in Ravenclaw Tower, Filius was going through some of the worksheets from his Seventh year Charms class and wishing he could take a break from the nonsense that some of the students thought were appropriate answers.

"I think Mr. Reed has been thinking with his 'other head'," he drily commented as he read the boy's reasoning behind the creation of the ' _Ardeat Ignis'_ charm and wrote an admonishment that the charm was _not_ designed to induce a girl to remove her clothing for 'fun time.'

After another hour of the endless hassle that was the seventh years, he turned to the first years and let out a sigh of relief. _'Now these are the answers I'd have hoped the seventh years would've given. I can only imagine the quality work they'll be capable of when they get there._ ' Of the various charms listed, nearly everyone had given the history and practical usage for the charms in nice, neat paragraphs. Even Miss Granger was concise in her answers as opposed to the earlier novel length answers she'd given back in the beginning of the school year. He wondered who it was that got the girl to understand that brevity was appreciated.

Deciding to take a break, Filius rose from his chair and headed over to the Snack Station to see what was available. His sensitive nose picked out one of the cups that held a portion of those roasted BBQ flavored chickpeas but then his eyes landed on the tray holding the frozen banana bites with almond butter dipped in chocolate. _'Decisions, decisions…'_ he thought before settling on taking both, with a self-satisfied grin on his face he ambled back to his office.

* * *

Pomona was busy in her personal greenhouse potter's shed when she thought she could hear someone talking outside. Puzzled by this since she had the only key, she stepped out and spotted Neville Longbottom apparently talking to a pretty multi-colored magical rosebush as he examined the leaves and flowers.

"Now don't you worry, I'm not going to be separating you from your family. I just want to make sure that you all are safe and growing properly." The rosebush quivered under his gentle touch and changed color.

Pomona quietly walked over and continued to watch and listen as the boy held a one-sided conversation with each plant he came into contact with. She then spoke up, "Mr. Longbottom?" Neville whirled around, nearly knocking a tulip pot over in his surprise.

"Professor! I, I'm sorry…um…"

"How did you get in here? I have the only key." She questioned him gently.

Neville turned and pointed to the gently waving Morning Glory vines near the door, "Candace let me in."

"Candace?"

"Uh-huh, that's what I call her. You may have a key to the lock on the outside but the inside is a simple mechanical lever and catch. All she did was release the catch which allowed me to come in."

Pomona just stared at the boy in amazement. When she was finally able to form a coherent question, she asked, "How do you do that? Plants like that morning glory don't have any form of brains or consciousness nor are they capable of moving objects."

Neville shrugged, "I know that but I think it's because of the magic here in the school and my own that allow me to communicate with them. It's not like actual speech or thoughts though; it's more like sensations and the like. If one of the plants isn't getting enough water, I suddenly get thirsty. Not enough fertilizer, I get hungry. As for moving things, I think Candace was the result of crossbreeding with something else. I haven't figured that one out yet."

Pomona was flabbergasted at his explanation. This cinched it for her; she was _going_ to make him her apprentice regardless of what his grandmother wanted!

"Are you taking a break from your studies?"

"Yes, professor. My butt was getting numb from sitting in those chairs."

She chuckled at his answer, "Okay, I'll give you another fifteen minutes then you need to head off to your next class." Neville beamed at her then turned back to the rosebush.

* * *

Interestingly enough, it wasn't the usual magical classes that were handing out the most number of reviews and homework; it was the mundane general studies classes. Many of the students correctly theorized that it was because this was their first year in operation and the teachers wanted to make sure that weren't putting in a bad showing and risk getting canceled; though if anyone asked the muggleborn, they'd say that the teachers had nothing to worry about.

Sitting in his mundane History class, Harry and the other Puffs were busily scratching out some new revision notes and checking their research in their books. Justin grumbled that he wished there was another way to check their data that didn't rely on a book that was already out-of-date by the time it was published but no one responded to him.

* * *

Their free time that was usually spent doing whatever they wanted was now taken up by continued studying. Now that's not to say that _all_ the students were as conscientious as let's say the OWL and NEWT level students but for the most part, everyone kept at their books trying to cram in that last bit of knowledge before the tests were given. Harry decided that he needed to get out of the common room for a while and back into the kitchen where he could have a few moments in relative solitude. He picked up a random cookbook and headed off to the portrait of the bowl of fruit which guarded the entrance to the kitchens. After tickling the pear and causing it to change into a door handle, he ambled inside and got set up at his station. The background noise of the elves cooking or calling out orders was soothing to him. He began pulling out his spices and a thick slice of raw beef steak then set up the fire and a skillet. He dropped in a tab of butter before slicing up the beef using a carefully controlled Diffindo charm and sliced the beef into even 1/8" thick pieces. (He loved finding real world applications to the modified spells and potions. His teachers remarked on this as well, sometimes to their own chagrin.) Once the beef was sliced and set aside for the still warming skillet, he pulled out a bowl and reached into the under-the-counter cooling cabinet where the mayo and other perishables were stored.

Another check of the skillet to see if it was finally hot (it was close enough) so he dropped in the beef and let it start cooking then turned back to the mayo spread he intended to make. He dumped a third of a cup of mayo into the bowl followed by a previously prepared BBQ sauce he'd made a week ago. The BBQ sauce was something that his friend Aaron from muggle primary had clued him onto. It was a flamboyant sauce that teased and danced its way across your tongue before ending with a sweet, spicy and cherry flavor finish. Once the spread was completed, he quickly checked on the sizzling beef then went in search of a tomato, some arugula leaves and some crusty French bread.

The beef was pulled out of the skillet and allowed to rest for a few moments while Harry prepared the rest of the sandwich. He sliced the tomato, spread the BBQ mayo on both slices of the bread and tore up the arugula leaves. Next, he removed the beef and laid it down on the leaves and closed up the sandwich then cut it in half. Harry was able to make another sandwich with the ingredients on hand so he wrapped the second one up in paper then cleaned up his mess. He took a bite of his sandwich then licked the dripping juices off his fingers as he pushed his way through the doorway to the kitchens. He quickly crossed the hallway and kicked a specially prepared barrel with his foot in a 'tap… tap, tap… tap' pattern which caused the door to open. (Ordinarily, he'd have to use his wand but after proving himself in the kitchens earlier in the school year, Professor Sprout created this alternate method for him to enter since he usually was carrying a tray of something.)

When he got back to the Puff Common Room, he spotted Hermione lying across the couch holding a book up in the air to read. He nudged her with his knee for her to move so he could sit down. She grumbled at the interruption but quickly sat up when the aroma of the sandwich hit her nose. Harry grinned at her immediate reaction, "Thought you'd might like something to eat while you read. I know how much you _hate_ doing that." She scrunched her nose cutely and reached for the wrapped sandwich.

* * *

**Wednesday**

Draco finished up writing out his revision for Astronomy and flopped back in his chair, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. A momentary thought of how it used to annoy him whenever his hair got mussed flitted through his mind, causing him to smirk then purposely mussed it up even more. That's what he loved about this House; public appearance was significantly different than private appearance. What one looked like in the comfort of their common room was immaterial and smacked of an ego that needed trimming. Sure, you had to follow basic hygiene and all but sometimes a tousled look was more effective of getting people to relax and lower their guard whenever you entered the room or wherever. As he sighed in contemplation, he wondered what Pansy was up to right then and hoped she'd be in the right mindset to go rafting on the river later. _'Talk about a great way to relax…and see Pansy in a bathing suit. I think that pink and yellow number is the best one she's got. I'm surprised that her parents let her get one that has that much exposed skin.'_

Down in the Potion's classroom, Severus was busy taking stock of what ingredients he had on-hand for his upcoming Hufflepuff practice exam where he'd have them write out and explain the different ingredients, their usage as well as problems that might crop up during the brewing stage. _'I have enough Valerian sprigs to last another couple of sessions provided the Gryffindors don't screw up again. Where is…oh, here it is. Standard Ingredient satchels…I should order some more, these don't smell fresh anymore though they should be usable for Friday's test.'_

Exiting his storeroom, Severus's stomach rumbled loudly. He glanced over at the pile of forms he needed to deal with and sighed in annoyance before remembering the Snack Station in his House's common room. When he entered, what little noise there was, halted immediately though he paid no notice of it as he crossed the room and scanned the table to see if his new favorite treat was available. _'Where is… ah, here we go! Chicken and cheese taquitos, just what the Potion Master requires.'_ He took a bite of one before snatching a small cup of seven layer dip off the plate and disappearing back out the door.

* * *

**Thursday**

In the first year Slytherin's Transfiguration class, Minerva had them writing down all the steps necessary to successfully transfiguring matchsticks into needles and vice versa. As they were doing that, she noticed that both Vincent and Greg had their headphones on and were bobbing their heads. It was an odd occurrence so she moved over to see what could be causing it. As she approached, her sensitive ears picked up a rhythmic beat coming from their ear pieces. She tapped Vincent on the shoulder causing the boy to jump in surprise. He pulled the headphones off his ears which caused the sound to get louder. "Y, yes, professor?" he stammered.

"What are you listening to?"

Both boys blushed, "It's a muggle musician named Will Smith. He sings and plays music call 'rap.'"

Minerva's eyes narrowed slightly, "I see." She held out her hand and Vince passed her the headphones. She listened to the music for a moment before handing it back, "I have no problem with this. Just keep the volume low and leave it in your dorm room when the exams start. Am I understood?" Both boys nodded their agreement. "Incidentally, where did you learn about this?"

"Draco told us about it after a couple of muggleborns were playing other songs by this artist in their common room last weekend." Minerva pursed her lips, nodded once then headed back up to her table.

* * *

Lunchtime rolled around and Minerva practically ran into the Great Hall, causing shocked chatter amongst the assembled students. Standing there panting heavily and with her wand drawn, she scanned the room only to discover that there was no emergency. Poppy appeared at her side and tapped her gently on the shoulder, "Min? What's wrong?"

A pained expression grew on Minerva's face, "I just had the weirdest feeling a few moments ago. I could've sworn that I heard Albus' voice heading towards this room."

Poppy blinked. _'That was odd, I felt the same thing.'_ "Min, Albus' is gone. He's never coming back if I have anything to say about it and I think everyone else would agree with me. Have you been feeling alright? Eating and resting enough? Maybe you and I should go back to the Infirmary?"

Minerva waved her hand, "No, thank you Poppy. I'm fine; just a momentary thing and yes, I have been eating and resting enough." She patted her friend and colleague on the arm and headed off to her chair.

* * *

_**Meanwhile in Florida…** _

Albus was at that moment watching a documentary on the History of Magic on the Discovery Channel. It was one of his days off from work and he endeavored to spend it fully. He'd done a bit of grocery shopping, found a new dry cleaner service, picked up lunch at a Popeye's Chicken stand then ate it at the local park. After that, he picked up the local bus to head home tired from his adventure. He had settled into his recliner and turned on the television. He flipped through the channels aimlessly before hitting upon the Discovery channel. When the narrator began his script, Albus jolted back like he'd been hit with a lightning bolt! _'I've had this feeling before! Magic…I was someone important, a headmaster of a school. I mean, how common could my name be? Albus Dumbledore, it can't be a coincidence that a name as different as mine and this program triggered some kind of repressed memory.'_ After the last time he'd had a similar feeling of déjà vu, he'd sought out a counselor to help with the thoughts running through his mind and causing him stress. They'd discussed it and she had suggested that every time this feeling came up, he should write down what was going on at that moment. He dug around in the drawer of the side table next to his chair and pulled out his notebook and pen to jot down the occurrence.

Albus wasn't the only one to notice; the American Department of Mysteries: South Florida office recorded a pulse of magic being released in the area where the old man lived. The agent on duty made a notation and an order for one of the field agents to take a look in the morning.

* * *

**Friday**

It was time for Harry's Potion's practice exam. He, along with the other Puffs, were feverishly trying to remember the steps involved with making the ironically named 'Forgetfulness Potion.' One of the ingredients, the Valerian sprig, caused him to pause. There was nothing in the instructions or his notes about what sort of preparation was needed before adding it to the brew. He raised his hand and waited for Professor Snape to notice. Severus groaned internally, _'Now what?'_

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Sir, I have a question on the Valerian sprigs. There's nothing in the instructions as to what sort of preparation is needed before adding it to the cauldron. Should they be chopped? Sliced? Stewed then chopped?"

Severus stared blankly at him for a moment before shaking himself out of his reverie, "Good question, Mr. Potter. In this case, you add it unaltered. By doing so, you reinforce the intent that you 'forgot' to prepare it. Two points to Hufflepuff." The others were stunned, it was rare for Severus Snape to award points to anyone outside his own House.

* * *

The weekend finally upon them, nearly everyone aside from those taking their OWLs or NEWTs decided to take a break and avail themselves to the Grand Baths and the various salons. Daggerclaw had made an announcement at breakfast that the school's dress code would be put on hold for the remainder of their time here. There were some basic (and pretty obvious) rules. The non-school clothing may not have offensive writing on it, may not bare excessive amounts of skin (ie. Muggle bathing suits weren't allowed to be worn in the halls or anywhere other than the Baths.), their outfits must not make loud noises or cause headaches from visual effects (an admonishing glare was aimed at Fred and George) and when it came time for the actual tests, the non-school clothes could still be allowed but their robes must worn on top.

There was practically a stampede by the muggleborns back to their dorms to change out of their stuffy school outfits. This caused the magically raised to become curious and chatter amongst themselves until the others returned; then they had to scrape their jaws off the ground when the fashion parade started. Dean Thomas was the center of attention amongst the Lions, especially by the Twins as well as the girls when he walked in wearing a West Ham football shirt, denim overall shorts with one suspender over his shoulder (the other he was still fighting with) and a leather jacket. His feet were encased in some kind of shoe with the word 'Nike' on the side.

Hermione came back wearing a pair of pink denim dungaree shorts with the cuffs rolled up, a wide leather belt and shiny buckle finished off with a partially tucked in grey-ish blue cotton t-shirt with a Wonder Woman logo printed on the front. Harry was wearing a pair of canvas combat trousers and his favorite t-shirt with Marvel superhero, Iron Man on the front.

The other muggleborn had other styles of clothing as well; each were practically mobbed by the fashion starved magically raised. Some, like Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Daphne Greengrass and Mandy Brocklehurst were nearly drooling from sensory overload.

Later after breakfast; Millie practically monopolized the weight room, Draco spent time with Pansy rafting down the river like he'd suggested to her earlier in the week. Harry was busy in the kitchen doing who-knew-what while Hermione was up in the Room of Requirement flying at breakneck speed through her latest obstacle course creation. Madam Hooch was there overseeing things and eventually joined in. It was rare for her to let her hair down so to speak but enjoyed the time with her favorite student greatly. The two witches flew in a complicated coordination through a chasm to the hard beat of a song Hermione had introduced to her Flight Instructor. _'This AC/DC band puts out great flying music!'_

* * *

The long-awaited and feverishly prepped for Test Week arrived and as everyone entered the Great Hall for breakfast and their schedules for the week, the students of Hogwarts were greeted with the arrival of the Wizarding Examination Authority officials. Hermione nearly had a panic attack until Harry pulled her aside and wrapped his arms around her shoulders comfortingly; speaking softly and reminding her that she shouldn't be worried about the examiners as they would be there for those taking their OWLs and NEWTs. Hermione blinked then dropped her head onto his shoulder and let out a loud sigh of relief and a nervous laugh.

"Sorry, Harry. I don't know what came over me. Professor Sprout even mentioned this very thing last week."

Harry hugged her one more time, "I know, I was there. If you weren't worrying about a test, I'd think you'd been swapped by an imposter. Come on, let's have breakfast."

The two quickly found their seats and pulled over their desired morning dish. The main feature that morning was a Welsh Breakfast complete with laverbread and Welsh cockles, bacon and sausages, mushrooms and eggs. Additionally, there was oatmeal to mix the laverbread in along with the usual porridge and cereal for the less adventurous. Bowls of fresh fruit were spaced in across the tables plus the normal sugary toppings for the cereals and whatnot.

* * *

_**At the Teacher's Table…** _

Daggerclaw greeted the examiners and invited them to have breakfast with them. They accepted graciously, several made surprised comments about the morning fare.

"Welsh Full Breakfast, Headmaster? Whose idea was this?" asked Head Examiner, Madam Griselda Marchbanks.

Daggerclaw held up a finger before standing, "Mr. Potter?" Harry looked up to the Teacher's Table, "Was this your idea?" Harry shook his head no. Daggerclaw resumed seat then explained to Madam Marchbanks that if it wasn't Harry's idea then it was the elves who were still experimenting with new recipes.

"Why would you consult Mr. Potter? What does a first year have to do with anything in the kitchens?" Examiner Tofty inquired. He was surprised when he saw the knowing grins the other teachers were giving each other, "Is there something you want to share with the rest of us? Is it something we ought to be worried about?"

Professor Buckmann chuckled, "No, there's nothing you need to worry about. It's just that Mr. Potter is our very own world-class chef and is probably the one responsible for half of the improvements that have taken place over the past school year. His dishes and cooking shows are one of several new highlights that we each look forward to every Saturday, homework permitting as he says."

Tofty spluttered in surprise, "But he's only a first year! How…what can he make that has everyone so excitable?" Several of the teachers' eyes glazed over at the memories that threatened to overwhelm them. Goofy grins erupted a moment later as they reached their happy places.

Daggerclaw chuckled at his colleague's responses, "As you can see, Mr. Potter knows how to cook and bake things that you just have to experience as words are utterly incapable of describing the sensory delights he produces. Mr. Potter?" Harry once more looked up and turned in his direction, "Do you have anything planned for this weekend?" Harry looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head, "I hadn't planned on anything elaborate because of test week. I might make myself a sandwich or a bowl of soup though. Why?"

"I was wondering if you could demonstrate to the examiners here just what you're capable of but if you don't have anything planned then I wouldn't want to throw off your study schedule. Thank you anyways." Harry nodded his head and turned back to his conversation with Neville and Susan.

"Headmaster? What about a pensieve trip?" Filius suggested after a moment.

Daggerclaw face palmed himself, "Brilliant idea, Professor Flitwick. I don't know why that didn't dawn on me a moment ago." Facing the examiners, he suggested that after breakfast that they all go up to his office where he could show them a memory of one of Harry's cooking shows.

* * *

The end of year tests commenced right after breakfast and it was just as stressful as Harry had feared. The worst one in his opinion was his Math class; he was sure that he swapped a couple of equations for the wrong ones. That feeling persisted for the rest of the day and made him a tad paranoid that he might fail his classes and be held back a year. This time it was Hermione who calmed him down from his funk by giving _him_ a comforting hug and reminding him that he'd have to screw up something major to be held back a year. One day after another, the Puffs trooped through the castle heading towards their various classes for the written and practical tests or in the case of Astronomy, late at night.

* * *

_**The Day before the Leaving Feast…** _

It was over. All the revision and the worrying about whether or not he was going to pass… it was OVER! Harry was thrilled that his first year as a magical student was done and dusted. They had gotten their grades and he was pleased with his overall score. There was only one class where he didn't score as high as he would've liked (mundane History) but the Acceptable grade he got was a passing one so he just made a mental note to get some tutoring next year. The rest of his grades flipped between Outstanding (the highest grade) and Exceeds Expectations (the next highest). Hermione's was similar though she'd received an EE on her History test.

His dorm room door opened and Hermione came bursting through in high spirits. She leapt and flopped on his bed next to him causing him to bounce. The two giggled at the silliness before she lay down next to him and shared in his perusal of the ceiling.

"Did you hear what happened to Draco when he got the results back from his Astronomy test?" she asked him, giggles still bursting out occasionally.

"No, what happened?"

"Professor Sinastra thought it would be funny to prank him with a failing grade but it caused him to faint and fall out of his seat and onto the floor. He banged his head on the desk on the way down."

Harry let out a sympathizing exclamation of pain, "Ouch. Not the best idea. So what happened after?"

Hermione shrugged, "She visited him in the Infirmary and apologized. His real score was an Outstanding from what I heard."

Harry rolled over onto his side to look her in the face, "You all packed and ready to head home?" She nodded, "Yeah. You?"

He nodded as well, "I'm looking forward to getting home. I got a bunch of new friends who I want to spend time with. Some of them have never been in the muggle world so it should be fun to see the look on their faces."

"Where were you planning on taking them?"

"I dunno. Probably do a run through the museums and art galleries first, go to the zoo and maybe a water park? Definitely want to go to Alton Towers and Chessington. I also want to stop at a decent sized shopping center."

"I too have some plans and friends coming over. I was thinking of a beach trip as well. My parents were hinting about the three of us taking a trip to France too."

"Neat. Lots of great cooking there, one of the best culinary schools in the world started there."

Hermione snuggled into his side, "Yeah but the world's greatest chef is right next to me."

* * *

**Leaving Feast, Great Hall**

This was it. One last feast for the school year and Harry along with the elves had pulled out all the stops. After consulting with Daggerclaw and Minerva; Harry and Tiny decided to do a 'Year-end Culinary Review.' As many of the dishes that Harry had demonstrated over the past year that could be fit onto the tables arrived in its usual magical fanfare; the tables groaned at the sudden application of weight and the students and staff immediately started drooling in anticipation. Harry had joked with Professor McGonagall that maybe someone should give a lengthy lecture about the importance of friends and family before letting everyone dig in. (The resultant growl and glare nearly made him wet himself.)

Ron Weasley looked over the selection of food and nearly lost control. There was everything and just about anything. He started sweating and looking panicked. He nearly jumped out of his skin when an adult hand landed on his shoulder. He whirled around and looked up to see his Head of House looking back at him with an unfathomable expression.

"If this is getting to be too much for you, I would recommend you leave the Hall. A selection plate can be sent to you instead." He intoned stonily.

Ron gulped; he was _so_ close to finishing out the year without any more indiscretions. He rapidly shook his head and said with a determined tone that he could handle it.

Severus stared at him for a moment, "Very well, but I will be keeping watch on you."

* * *

Fred and George had received permission from both the Headmaster and Deputy to put on that night's entertainment with a stunning display of heatless fireworks, singing clocks and dishware and even produced a massive record player from somewhere to play various songs and artists. They did slip in a couple of their usual sort of pranks like when they caused all of the House colors to be swapped at random every ten minutes or caused the boys' hair to swap with the girls' and also change to random colors and effects. There was a lot of cheering and laughter that accompanied every prank they pulled; it was a testament of the restrictions that Minerva had placed on them. If they broke the restrictions of nothing harmful, couldn't be removed with a simple spell canceling charm or needed the Infirmary for causing sickness or something, they'd lose their funding from their heroes.

* * *

**King's Cross Station, London**

The next day after the Leaving Feast, everyone was scrambling to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything and to get their trunks to the loading zone. The train ride home was as exciting as the ride to the castle back in September in many minds. The seventh years had sequestered themselves in the last car of the train while everyone else roamed the aisle in search of friends to say goodbye to and to get home phone numbers or floo addresses. There were multiple compartments being used to discuss the various things they'd learned during the year. Each compartment had its own theme; the one Harry was occupying was of course the one dealing with cooking. Hermione had disappeared a while ago to see if there was a compartment for flying.

Several hours later, the train pulled into the station and began disgorging the kids and their trunks. Harry passed through the platform barrier and spotted his aunt and uncle sitting on one of the benches people-watching.

"Aunt Petunia! Uncle Vernon!" Harry yelled happily.

"Harry!" Petunia returned as she wrapped her arms around her nephew and gave him a welcoming squeeze, "Remus and Sirius ought to be joining us soon. Sirius said he wanted to check out the railroad museum while we were waiting." Sure enough, Harry spotted the two men as they rounded the corner.

"Hey, Pup! Glad you're home, Moony and I have an idea for your first week back. How'd you like to come to the campground and do some fishing and foraging?"

What a great way to end a fantastic year.

* * *

**Recipes:**

Home-made steak sandwich (personal recipe)

Simple study snacks (online via Google)

BBQ mayo spread (personal recipe)

Laverbread (Welsh seaweed puree; mention only, Wikipedia)


	20. The All-Important Epilogue

**Chapter 20: The All Important Epilogue**

**Harry Potter:**

**Y2:** Second year saw the introduction of Hogwarts new Cooking Instructor, William Bainbridge, after he was tempted away from his other teaching role at Paris' Le Cordon Bleu School of Culinary Arts. Professor Bainbridge's soft-spoken French accented English made him one of the more popular topics of discussion (and a few fantasies from the older girls.) After witnessing one of Harry's weekend cooking demonstrations, he began making plans to tempt the Second year into undergoing an apprenticeship. Harry wanted to wait until he spoke with his aunt but gave his tentative approval of the idea. Rumors of Slytherin's Monster circulated through the school though no definitive proof was ever presented. Hermione had the brilliant idea to speak with Daggerclaw and Harry about the latter's Parseltongue ability; she suggested that Harry use the school's PA system to call the monster to a secluded space within the Forbidden Forest. Harry tried her idea but there was no response; he even enlisted the aid of the elves but they couldn't find any sign of the monster either so the experiment was dropped.

 **Y3:** After a Ministry-ordered inspection of Azkaban Prison, the duplicity of the prisoner transfer guards with the escape of Peter Pettigrew from their custody was discovered (the guards were fired from their positions) A nationwide man-hunt was called for and notices sent out to the ICW with the escapee's information. A notion to use the Dementors of Azkaban was put forth to protect the major institutions like Hogwarts, St. Mungo's and the Ministry but was just as immediately shot down. It took the better part of the year to determine that Pettigrew was no longer in the UK. At Hogwarts, Harry began taking his elective classes for Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Creative Writing and French language class. He also started dating Hermione. Both had made a pact that no matter how their dates went, they would still always be friends first and foremost. His 'Yes, Harry Potter Cooks' shows remained wildly popular with the students and staff.

 **Y4:** The TWT comes to Hogwarts but instead of the bread and circuses blood-sport that someone like Albus would've come up with, it's more of a carnival atmosphere. There were the three official Champions but now there were additional 'sub-champions' for the smaller events based on school subjects and particular talents (like Harry's cooking or Hermione's flying skills). The three main Champions picked were Victor Krum of Durmstrang, Fleur Delacour of Beauxbatons and Slytherin House's own Adrian Pucey of Hogwarts. The First Task involved a herd of Mountain Trolls and a Golden Egg that needed to be retrieved. The Second Task involved retrieving a valued personal item from the Centaurs of the Forbidden Forest (It was originally going to be in the Black Lake but Madam Pomphrey nearly hexed the planning committee into oblivion for that idiocy.) The Third Task was a gauntlet of traps, puzzles, creatures to be dealt with in order to reach the Champion's Trophy at the end.

Harry took part in the Culinary Competition and smoked the challengers from the other two schools. His final recipe of a 'Double Barrel Shotgun Prime Rib with Bone Marrow Butter,' dry roasted fingerling potato boats and green beans almandine was capped off with a batch off with his magically made Peppermint Ice Cream. (One judge was heard saying that the ice cream made his toes tingle.)

The Winner of the TWT was Fleur Delacour of Beauxbatons by a hairsbreadth of a mere half inch when in a final sprint for the Cup against both Krum and Pucey. The tournament was held up to great acclaim by the _Daily Prophet_ as well as the international press for being a shining example of what intramural school competitions were supposed to be about.

 **Y5:** It was OWLs time for Harry and his yearmates. Stress from the upcoming exams caused Harry and Hermione to almost split up but their relationship was saved by Tiny and the other elves when they locked the two humans in a small room and refused to let them out until they worked out their differences. (Tiny was particularly adamant and stubborn about what she viewed as 'stupid human hormone dances.') Harry passed his OWLs with an assortment of EEs and Os with only one Acceptable in Mundane History. That summer, Harry accepted a summer temp kitchen position in a magical restaurant located in Diagon Alley at the behest of his Cooking Professor, William Bainbridge.

 **Y6:** With their relationship stronger than ever, Harry and Hermione start fooling around only to get slapped in the face with reality of consequences. Hermione thought she had fallen pregnant after several episodes of morning sickness. She started to panic but Harry calmed her by saying that he was taking her to Madam Pomphrey for a test and even if it were positive, it didn't matter as he loved her and promised to make an honest woman of her like they'd always planned. (It turned out to be a false positive brought on by a urinary tract infection.) Despite the negative test results, Harry still quietly proposed to Hermione in front of their close friends and family and gave her a Promise Ring (with Dan's permission as per tradition.)

 **Y7:** It's a relatively quiet year for Harry; he was requested to appear by the Department of Mysteries. They had completed their search for Voldemort's Horcruxes as well as running a smear campaign to make sure that the public no longer feared the public image and mystique of the man or his message of hate. He was directed to float the Amber-encased body of 'Quirrellmort' and the Horcruxes through the Veil of Death. Once that was done, the Unspeakables checked the status of the Prophecy sphere and found it darkened. Harry was now freed of that thrice-damned Prophecy! He eventually graduated from Hogwarts with high honors and married Hermione in a modest ceremony combining both magical and mundane elements surrounded by their friends and family. He eventually opened his own restaurant in the famous Greenwich Market in Greenwich, London. The Specialty of the House is the 'Sinful Seafood Sampler' all freshly caught and prepared fish and seafood (he hired elves to do the retrieval work. They loved it.) The Potters have two children, both girls, Lily Emma (affectionately known as 'Bunny' for her tendency to bounce on her toes whenever she got eager about something) and Poppy Iris (affectionately known as Pip.)

* * *

**Hermione Granger:**

**Y2:** Began the new school year by assisting Madam Hooch teach the incoming firsties how to fly a broom. She worked with Dean Thomas and fellow muggleborn Hufflepuff house-mate Justin Finch-Fletchley to get a couple of football teams started, 2 for each House; starters and reserves respectively. The teams are known by their House mascots (Lions, Ravens, Badgers, and Snakes.) She figured out early on that Slytherin's rumored monster had to be some kind of snake given that House's mascot and the legends that surrounded the Founder. She suggests to the Headmaster that since Harry is a Parselmouth, he might be able to summon it. There was no response after repeated attempts using the school's PA system.

 **Y3:** Hermione's electives were pretty similar to Harry's in that she took a Spanish language class, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes and Advanced Flight School. Madam Hooch tested her out of the last choice but kept her on as her unofficial assistant. Late in November, she discovers the Hogwarts Elf Nursery and volunteers to help care for the elflings. As a result of testing out of Advanced Flight Training and after considerable examination of the other electives, decided to take up a Dance elective.

 **Y4:** She's chosen to be the Hogwarts Flying Champion during the TWT and smokes the competition. The challenges included a speed race, obstacle course and acrobatics. No one was able to come close to matching her abilities. (One judge remarked that maybe they should check her for performance enhancing potions or even Polyjuice to make sure that she wasn't a professional ringer! ' _As if!' She was heard to grumble._ ) She was scouted by the National Quidditch teams but politely turned them all down saying that the sport just wasn't her thing. During the times between the events, she worked with Tiny and the other elves to figure out what they would want most if they were given the opportunity to get better working and living conditions. She originally suggested they be freed but after sitting through an Elf History lesson where she learned that the bond between magicals and elves was symbiotic, quickly changed her mind. Thanks to their efforts, Hermione founds the Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare. (Neville clued her in later that the initials read out as 'SPEW' so now a quick name change to the 'Magical Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Elves' or 'MSPCE' was born.) The early goals was the raising of awareness that elves were powerful beings in their own right and deserved the rights normally afforded to humans.

 **Y5:** It's OWLs year and as usual starts stressing out about the upcoming tests. She's mortified that it took the stubborn guidance by the school's elves to get her and Harry to realize that they still loved each other despite the heightened emotions going on then. Later in the year (after Yule), she gets scouted for a summer intern position within the Sports and Games Department within the Ministry which she graciously accepts. She passes her exams with mostly Os and only a couple EEs in Potions and Arithmancy (Her Dance elective wasn't graded per se, just a simple pass or fail mark.)

 **Y6:** After the pregnancy scare, Hermione vowed to be more careful; even going so far as to research pregnancy prevention spells and enchanted a necklace to ward against Harry's 'essence' during their subsequent 'fun times.' The MSPCE catches the notice of one of the Squib administrators within the RSPCA. They work out a deal to route any elves dumped or found at their shelters to the facility being set up in Hogsmeade for healthcare, reeducation and reassignment. Hermione remained as the Chief Administrator and primary contact but leaves the day-to-day running to a team of sympathetic townspeople.

 **Y7:** Hermione graduated with the highest honors, married Harry and became a part-time staffer in the DS&G in the Ministry while simultaneously running the MSPCE. She introduced a pilot program to include more muggle sports and games like football, tennis, rugby, cricket, etc. When the biological clock topic came up, she decided to take some time off from both positions to start a family with Harry. Their twin daughters, Lily Emma and Poppy Iris surprised everyone when Lily had her mom's bushy hair and her father's eyes while Poppy had her father's hair and her mother's eyes.

* * *

**Draco Malfoy:**

Draco's time in Hogwarts was comfortably uneventful, at least in his opinion. Sure, there was the thrill of the TWT in his fourth year and anytime he was working with his homemade observatories was just peachy but for the most part, his life there was smooth sailing. He still listened to the comings and goings of his fellow housemates and reported back to his father about potential business deals or undercuts. He signed up for every class available that would lead him to his ultimate goal of becoming an astronomer. He started an apprenticeship with Professor Sinastra in his fourth year which had him running star chart calculations and tracking along with assisting in grading papers. Upon his graduation from Hogwarts, his mundane science teacher suggested that he also apply for a spot within the muggle universities and continue his education. He applied for and got into Oxford where he went on to earn his Master's Degree in Astrophysics. He eventually got a job with the UK Space Agency where he remains to this day.

* * *

**Ron Weasley:**

Ron managed to pull himself together for the most part. His interaction with his Housemates remained rocky but was no longer adversarial like it had been in the early days of first year. After receiving all that praise for assisting with the Spring Social as well as working with Professor Kettleburn and Hagrid with gamekeeping duties during the school year, he decided that he'd found his true calling. It would never be as glamorous as Harry Potter's life (he still nursed a minor grudge against Harry for rejecting him) but the outdoor life suited him in that he would be able to avoid major interactions with the famous Puff. It was just after his OWLs year (he'd barely passed with mostly A's) when Hagrid suddenly decided to retire from Hogwarts and return to the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary. He talked it over with his dad, Daggerclaw and his Head of House about the possibilities of taking over the role of Gameskeeper. Professor Kettleburn had doubts about remaining as well since he kept losing pieces of himself but agreed to at least remain in town in case Ron had any question and until the boy found his stride. At first, his assignments were in line with the Class X-XXX creatures but by the time that he would've reached his seventh year; he was qualified by the WEA and Department of Beast Control to handle the 'heavy hitters' so to speak.

While Ron never became as popular as Hagrid as a Gamekeepeer; he did come up with some creative detention assignments for those sent to him by assigning them back-breaking manual (no magic allowed) farm animal tending, just like he'd suffered so many years ago.

* * *

**Albus Dumbledore:**

After that burst of magic back in 1992 and the memory of him being a headmaster of some school resurfaced; he and his therapist worked to see if they could unlock anymore hidden memories. Unfortunately, they were successful…

While hidden away in the safety of his room at the retirement home after the recovery of his memories; Albus plotted his return to Magical Britain. He quickly realized that like any grand plan, he needed money. To that end, he remained in his current position as door-greeter for Wal-mart. He still recalled everything about his new life so it wasn't that difficult to integrate the two. He spoke with his supervisor about enrolling in whatever training programs that were available to him. After the paperwork went through, Albus Dumbledore entered the supervisory training program. He passed his tests and was placed in charge of the household goods department.

Flash forward to 1995 and Albus is surprisingly still working for Wal-mart. He still has his grand plans for his triumphant return but ironically has found his new career much more satisfying and fulfilling than striking out to recover his old glory. (His minions…er, staff, decent pay and the comfortable conditions at the retirement home may have had something to do with his reticence to go back to England.)

It was during the summer after Harry graduated from Hogwarts when the two adversaries would meet again. Harry and Hermione were honeymooning in Orlando to visit Disneyworld and stopped in at the store where Albus worked. They stared at each other from across the aisle, making no attempt to get within arm's reach, then turned and went their separate ways never to acknowledge the existence of each other again. Albus eventually died at the supposed age of 98 (in reality he was closer to 135.) When his apartment was searched by the American Unspeakables, they discovered his journals outlining his Grand Plans for the Greater Good of Magical Britain. What was written within has never been made public though they were sealed under the International Secrets Act and forwarded to the British Department of Mysteries to deal with.

* * *

**Dolores Umbridge:**

Things did not go well for Dolores after she was slapped in the face with the reality of her banishment. Locked away on that tiny island with her magic bound down to the level of that of a first year student coupled with those blasted amulets the villagers wore plus the isolation from any sort of contact with whom she considered 'pure;' Dolores Umbridge succumbed to her paranoia and growing insanity. When her mind snapped, she went on a killing spree; she may not have been able to cast an Unforgivable but the cutting curse and lethal poisons worked just as well.

She killed off what passed for the local government (four islanders) and enslaved the rest. Anyone who resisted was tortured then killed in the most brutal way her diseased mind could think of. When the supply ship couldn't raise the island on its monthly run, the captain grew worried and so contacted the South African authorities. They in turn contacted their magical counterparts who finally dumped the situation into the hands of the ICW Peacekeepers. After witnessing a 'purification ritual,' it was decided that the island and what remained of the inhabitants needed to be quarantined indefinitely.

Dolores tried multiple times to get off the island to get her revenge but failed each time, growing more and more unstable. It finally reached the point where it wouldn't be long before a tragedy might occur in the form of a crashed airplane or stranded muggle boat. It was thus decided by the ICW and partnered with the South African Magical Air Force to bomb the island from the face of the map. Several MOABs later and only the steaming bedrock remained of what was once a sub-tropical island.

* * *

**The rest of the characters:**

**Hagrid:** After over fifty-five years working as a Gamekeeper for Hogwarts, Hagrid decided it was time to retire. He spoke with the Head of the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary to see if there was room for him. They couldn't get the paperwork completed fast enough to hire him. It turned out that because of his size and strength, the dragons preferred working with him and were rather restless when Hagrid returned to Hogwarts after his 'working vacation.'

 **Millie B:** Talked to her Head of House who helped her find a trainer in her seventh year. After a couple years of hard training, she managed to rise up in the ranks and placed 6th on the National Fitness Circuit. Eventually retired from competitive training and opened her own women only fitness center in Diagon Alley, the first ever in Magical Britain history, with her friend and former housemate, Tracy Davis.

 **Tracy D:** Co-owner of a women only fitness center alongside Millie where she taught water sports and swimming safety. She handles the books as Millie never really had a head for it but enjoys the work.

 **Daphne G:** Took over the family shipping business after her father retired. Happily got married to Dean Thomas after a rather steamy and sensuous romance that started in their sixth year at Hogwarts with a Line Continuance clause in the pre-nup. They have 2 kids with a third on the way.

 **Fred/George W:** Both received their start-up capital from Remus and Sirius after graduating with mainly EEs. They worked part-time at Zonko's Joke Shop in Diagon Alley as agreed upon (they realized it was a LOT more work than they'd originally envisioned.) By 1998, Weasley Wizarding Wheezes was open and doing a booming business.

 **Neville L:** Became Professor Sprout's apprentice starting after he passed his OWLs and later became Assistant Herbology Professor. He continued his Gardening Club even after his elevation. He met and fell in love with Luna Lovegood during his 2nd/her first year. Her quirky yet brutally honest nature always made him laugh and warm his heart. It also helped when both realized that they were two sides of the same coin. She was the embodiment of Fauna while he was the same with Flora (this realization caused no end of hilarity amongst their friends.) They began dating when she reached her third year and when she graduated, they got married in a lovely ceremony attended by their friends, family and the tamer creatures and plants. While he was working as a Herbology professor, she got her qualifications to work as the new professor in Care of Magical Creatures.

 **Daggerclaw:** Served as Headmaster for a further 25 years and was credited with ushering in Hogwart's most recent Educational Golden Years. Subjects that had either fallen by the wayside or cancelled under Albus' idiotic Greater Good manipulations were brought back and modernized. Prior to this, a prospective student might only have a dozen or so elective options. By the time he retired, there were close to fifty, both mundane and magical classes. The school also now had at least four teachers per core subject; one would teach the first and second years, another would teach the third and fourth years while the third teacher would teach fifth to seventh years. The fourth teacher was there to act as backup or if one of the primaries had an illness or something that needed to be dealt with. Heads of House were now dedicated jobs (Minerva was saddened but at the same time grateful to give up the position.) With the discovery of the jewelry and other valuables in the RoR, the school's finances had never been better.

 **Sirius/Remus:** Continued to make Wolf's Bay Campground a family destination. Woolsey remained a central figure of the farm and was even mated to a female (they had a couple of kids.) Harry and Hermione put in a good word within the Ministry and school which increased their popularity amongst magicals looking to 'get away from it all.' The Potters regularly visit as well teaching their children to fall in love with fresh fish and seafood.

 **Petunia/Vernon/Dudley D:** Petunia took up the role of media relations manager to Harry when his cooking talents landed him several television appearances. When Harry opened his restaurant, she became his financial and office manager. She loves the work and being able to contribute to something worthwhile. Vernon continued at Grunnings as a Senior VP until his retirement. Although Harry is no longer living at home to provide him with exquisite brown bag lunches; Vernon did learn how to make his own after watching a couple of instructional videos his nephew put together for him. Dudley made a name for himself with his beloved guitar by becoming a music teacher at his old primary schoolteacher. He even put out a somewhat popular R&B single that can still be heard on the radio occasionally.

The others in Hogwarts had their own lives and adventures but that's another story to tell…

**Fin!**

**Recipes:**

Double Barrel Shotgun Prime Rib with Bone Marrow butter (YouTube, mention only)

Green beans Almandine (YouTube, mention only)


End file.
